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I find myself strangely attracted to her, but maybe its just gravity.
I find myself strangely attracted to her, but maybe its just gravity. photo | portfolio
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James Lennox Vote score: 5362James Lennox

I find myself strangely attracted to her, but maybe it's just gravity.

04/12/19 21:06:26

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6985The Wolf

"Excuse me madam, did you just lean against that tree?"

04/12/19 20:05:23

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6586Hercules Rockefeller

Violet Beauregarde never fully recovered from that little incident at Mr. Wonka's chocolate factory.

04/12/19 20:03:26

 
stone face Vote score: 7491stone face

I love Jane, but the last time we had sex it was really painful. I burnt my arse on the lightbulb.

04/12/19 22:25:00

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8475Chris Keegan

Sorry love, this is a no weighting zone.

04/12/19 20:10:43

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

"How will I recognise you Dave?"

04/12/19 20:33:00

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8475Chris Keegan

"You know when I said given my luck my blind date won't show up and you said fat chance..."

04/12/19 20:18:27

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6985The Wolf

Poor woman. She could only fit 1 pair of knickers in her suitcase.

04/12/19 20:00:44

 
Molly R Vote score: 1681Molly R

This is how I will feel in precisely 21 days' time.

04/12/19 20:00:18

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

"Jesus Dave, you need to stop eating those bloody trans fats!"

04/12/19 20:48:24

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2118Scrijjy Doo

Whatever happened to Morbidly Obese Spice?

04/12/19 21:17:02

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

♪ I'm a carbie girl in a carbie world... ♪

04/12/19 20:14:00

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 5038Chris Halliwell

Excuse me, do you know where the meeting for recovering anorexics is please?

04/12/19 20:13:28

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11548Vanessa the Guesser

It will be a long time before she gets picked up.

04/12/19 20:07:44

 1
It would have to be a very strong man to do that. --Willie Johnson
The Wolf Vote score: 6985The Wolf

“Does my bum look big in this?”
“What? In that body? No, it doesn’t”

04/12/19 20:00:27

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6985The Wolf

Size 10 model Katie knew only too well the consequences of holding in your farts

04/12/19 20:00:15

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10564Neil Mackenzie

Normally the Prince only chases after Cinderella, but in this production Prince Andrew bangs the ugly step sisters and the step mother!

05/12/19 5:17:44

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21961Ian Skelding

A small case of obesity.

04/12/19 22:09:05

 
dave the rave Vote score: 272dave the rave

Welcome to Jurassic Pork.

04/12/19 21:33:47

 
dave the rave Vote score: 272dave the rave

Youuuuu shall not..passss!!!!!

04/12/19 21:18:42

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6985The Wolf

"Coming up next on 'My weight nearly killed me', Sharon and her extraordinary story of trying to sit on a beanbag"

04/12/19 21:03:03

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9436Mr Dome

Her suitcase is rammed. It just contains a spare set of underwear

04/12/19 21:02:21

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31478Tony Edwards

For a big girl she comes with very little baggage.

04/12/19 20:45:59

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 11548Vanessa the Guesser

You can't beat a Club 18-30 stone holiday.

04/12/19 20:13:56

 1
''You told me you were just 18 on the telephone.I thought you meant 18 years.But you meant 18 stone.''Transistor Radio - Benny HillReached 24 in the pop charts in 1961. --Dave Bryan
Mr Dome  Vote score: 9436Mr Dome

She has an inflated ego. And arse. And tits...

04/12/19 20:10:52

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3749Stu Dent

There's all inclusive and there's taking the piss.

04/12/19 20:04:54

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

"Does my bum look big in this?"

04/12/19 20:00:06

 
The Caption Guy The Caption Guy

"Do these shoes make my ass look fat?"

03/03/20 19:03:15

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4637Kenny Ireland

Lucy has gone now. I will probably never get over her.

07/12/19 13:39:20

 
sarah solway Vote score: 103sarah solway

She hoped not to be charged for carrying .extra luggage

07/12/19 9:35:51

 
Barrie Bullock Vote score: 559Barrie Bullock

Bloody hell Paul Gasgoine's gone to pot.

05/12/19 16:29:39

 
dave the rave Vote score: 272dave the rave

Looks like an asteroid crashed into lady gaga's washing line.

05/12/19 16:21:56

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 4462Lucky Elperro

Whatever you do. Don't write Ho Ho Ho on her Christmas card.

05/12/19 12:59:04

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1384Willie Johnson

"I can still fit into my prom dress. And after losing a little more weight I can get out of it too."

05/12/19 9:36:31

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

“Will work for pound cake.”

05/12/19 5:10:43

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

Fat Al Attraction

04/12/19 23:37:02

 
stone face Vote score: 7491stone face

Mary's off to the big city, where she's landed herself a plum job.

04/12/19 22:22:18

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21961Ian Skelding

"It was an easy decision for the Russians, me or that MI6 agent."

04/12/19 22:05:31

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 9339Stephen Bean

Transportly

04/12/19 21:29:09

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2118Scrijjy Doo

That Salvation Army kettle looks tiny in comparison.

04/12/19 21:18:22

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31478Tony Edwards

Pantomime Dame Edna

04/12/19 20:55:24

 
James Lennox Vote score: 5362James Lennox

"And coming up on our right we have Hill 806."

04/12/19 20:31:16

 1
stone face Vote score: 7491stone face

"Bastard beer goggles.."

04/12/19 20:30:04

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5585Paul Reeve

“That reminds me Dave, we must book a bouncy castle for Tommy’s birthday.”

04/12/19 20:27:08

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4426Karyn Harrison

After years of searching for romance she finally found a man who loved her for what she was, only to roll over on him in the night and suffocate him.

04/12/19 20:20:07

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3237Crunchy Chords

Is that a portlymanteau?

04/12/19 20:12:03

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4426Karyn Harrison

Sadly she lost her job as a bouncer because no one could get past her.

04/12/19 20:05:41

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 31478Tony Edwards

Curve appeal

04/12/19 20:03:44

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

“ I'm waiting for a carb...”

04/12/19 20:00:38

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 3237Crunchy Chords

LazyTown has really changed.

04/12/19 20:00:37

 1
It's Rotten to the core --Mr Dome
Chris Keegan Vote score: 8475Chris Keegan

I see the diet has gone to pot.

04/12/19 20:00:24

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38790Welsh Rarebit

Prick teaser

04/12/19 20:00:14

 
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