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| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 81 | 6 | 16 | #7 | 21 | 87 | #5 | 5344 | 14189 | #18 |
| Photos | 3 | #8 | 3 | #8 | 218 | 563 | #6 | |||
| Comments | 19 | 2 | #1 | 5 | 4 | #3 | 1016 | 1562 | #3 | |
| Forum Posts | 2 | 53 | ||||||||
| Suggested Edits | 1 | 1 | #2 | 1 | 1 | #2 | 6 | 9 | #1 | |
| Tips | 1 | 2 | #1 | 1 | 2 | #9 | ||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 7 | #12 | 40 | #12 | 8416 | #27 |
| Photos | 24 | #2 | 24 | #2 | 747 | #24 |
| Comments | 7 | #1 | 1720 | #5 | ||
| Forum Posts | ||||||
| Suggested Edits | 6 | #3 | ||||
| Tips | 1 | #4 | ||||
captions
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"I'm trying to be sneaky here. Could you stop playing that bloody cello?" 01/09/23 19:02:48 |
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Love your caption James. You're gonna need a bigger vote 😉 --Dot Old
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"This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence." 18/07/21 11:55:41 |
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Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
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23/03/19 8:46:34 |
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Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me! --The Wolf
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22/01/19 8:22:17 |
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Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
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*Ding* 13/01/23 12:10:08, edited: 13/01/23 12:31:58 |
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I agree with KT A. This is a killer. --Dave Bryan
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This public gathering is just asking to get Corona. 12/05/20 7:16:32 |
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Looks like the shit's hit the van. 16/07/23 7:23:55 |
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"Lord Vader, the Rebels are attacking. Perhaps you should change out of your pyjamas." 27/12/22 20:01:39 |
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18/06/22 7:00:31 |
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Cheers for the congrats, guys. I think I was lucky to pip Tony's one, so I'm very glad he got a 2nd place prize. A big cheer out to the caption.me contributors who have made this extra prize possible. And, as always, many thanks to Chris for the... --James Lennox
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17/03/22 8:01:22 |
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09/03/21 12:35:25 |
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...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson
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28/04/20 19:23:57 |
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First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
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13/11/23 8:01:26 |
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Nice one ... It took me a while --John Glover
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29/04/23 7:05:06 |
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"Disaster here in the Paralympic eventing course as Wu Chan's wheelchair refuses to take that jump." 01/12/22 20:07:31 |
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"Gosh darn it," said Davy-Bob. "Nobody told me you could reload them." 12/12/21 12:08:44 |
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Javelins should only be thrown outdoors. 03/02/20 12:00:41 |
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The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance. --Willie Johnson
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15/10/23 19:13:01 |
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Best Captioneer a few weeks in a row and The Wolf gets all cocky. 28/09/23 19:17:44 |
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Yea I wanna C a Camel toe. --Karen McDonald
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I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet. 17/11/20 9:17:11 |
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The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. 31/07/20 7:09:57 |
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Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children. 16/09/22 11:00:35 |
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Usually, they're called parents. --Glyn Evans
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"Perfect, my last batch was a little on the dark side." 29/03/22 19:28:20 |
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"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits." 06/04/21 11:26:41 |
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"Yes, but I don't think Nancy is the right monkey for you on this trip, Joan," said Percy. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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Harold always believed the son shone out of his arse. 27/08/20 7:00:40 |
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If dodos had been better jugglers they wouldn't be extinct. 08/02/20 12:00:17 |
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21/05/19 11:00:27 |
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It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well. 01/03/19 20:13:39 |
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17/08/23 19:05:32, edited: 17/08/23 19:06:03 |
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"Hang on, mum, we haven't tied the string round Billy's bad tooth yet." 18/12/22 20:43:09 |
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...and who can forget Dave's final words: 27/04/21 19:40:05 |
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"Pssst! Word of advice. Some Russians might take offence to this as they might see it as an insult to their National animal, however I know that you're talking about it's actual state of being. If you're urinal cake is glowing a funny colour o... --Glyn Evans
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27/11/20 8:36:38 |
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😂😂😂 I’ve since looked at a Kiwi bird on Images and now it all makes sense and it’s a brilliant caption. I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw what the Kiwi bird looked like. I am going to lol this caption because it’s funny and clev... --Karen Oakenfull
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Nobody makes better balloon animals than Dave. 29/09/20 19:15:41 |
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Always start with a blowfish --Al Overy
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Giving up smoking, diary entry day 23: Either I'm starting to hallucinate or my wife is a bitch. 03/03/19 20:47:18 |
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No she’s not, she menthol 🙃 --Karen Oakenfull
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"I thought after 80 years he'd have forgiven me for eating his porridge!" 29/09/23 7:05:07, edited: 29/09/23 7:12:23 |
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"I'm sure we've met, but I'm sorry, my short term memory is terrible." 22/09/23 7:03:59 |
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16/11/22 20:01:07, edited: 16/11/22 20:01:48 |
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"So God created Adam in His own image, which, strangely, was that of a 70s pornstar." 07/05/22 12:28:08 |
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14/12/20 8:05:11 |
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Barbie hasn't changed much in the last 60 years. Ken on the other hand ... 24/11/20 8:17:40 |
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Well that's interesting and disturbing Willie. I bet Ken's namesake had a fun childhood growing up as the kid who has a penis-less incestuous plastic doll named after him. --James Lennox
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Always buy your catnip from a trusted source. 08/09/20 13:23:56 |
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Looks like the match went to sudden death. 17/07/19 7:30:33 |
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07/11/23 8:04:00 |
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"And here's 4,999 I prepared earlier." 11/08/23 19:20:11 |
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10/08/23 19:47:41 |
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I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what's down under when you're Down Under. --Stephen Bean
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"Are you going to take the train, Dave?" 18/06/23 7:03:56 |
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"The worst thing about Great Floods," moaned God. "Is having to dry everything afterwards." 04/06/23 11:01:22 |
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01/01/23 20:00:20 |
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09/11/22 12:00:44 |
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What the hell is Sambuchino, and why is throwing it at gnomes a good defence? 31/08/22 7:10:06 |
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09/07/22 7:00:27 |
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"That's OK, you're swimming in our septic tank." 19/05/22 7:02:06 |
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08/10/21 7:08:37 |
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"Sorry to intrude, but could I please have my rubber bone back?" 19/07/21 7:07:59 |
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Sadly, none of the gospels recorded Jesus's performance of YMCA. 23/04/21 11:12:14 |
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Described by critics as 'rather wooden'. --Karyn Harrison
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22/03/21 8:04:11 |
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US politics are insane, General Lee speaking. 24/01/21 8:06:09 |
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12/04/20 7:01:39 |
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"... and then he took his shirt off and things started to get weird." 09/04/20 19:40:08 |
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No animals were harmed during the making of this picture, but some were highly pissed off. 25/03/20 8:07:25 |
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"No animals were harmed" - just someone's dignity. --Willie Johnson
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"Ok Dave, you create a diversion while I steal the mini." 09/01/20 12:14:25 |
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05/12/19 8:04:18 |
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02/09/19 7:57:49 |
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"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip." 05/03/19 12:24:57 |
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15/02/19 20:16:18 |
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"Jeez, I could murder a grandma ... I mean, a kebab." Thu 8:13:13, edited: Thu 8:28:15 |
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Ha, you've got me wondering now whether murder a grandma is funnier. It's nice having the double 'gr' sound though. --Stephen Bean
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12/10/23 19:17:35 |
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13/08/23 19:31:47 |
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"Any last words, sir?" 04/06/23 19:52:29, edited: 04/06/23 19:55:29 |
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The did say his sentence would be suspended. --Tony S
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And in Dublin, the annual 'Swap you Wife for a Keg of Guinness' promotion kicks off. 04/05/23 7:01:19 |
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22/03/23 12:11:18 |
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"Hmmn, do you reckon we should put the 'Out of Order' sign at the bottom or the top?" 06/03/23 12:29:17 |
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"I think I'm gonna find a new Best Man, Dave. This Stag Do sucks." 09/02/23 12:17:23 |
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Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide. 15/01/23 20:18:34 |
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Careful about giving in to the urge to make a banana pun. It's a slippery slope. --Willie Johnson
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03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07 |
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That poor dog :-D --Glyn Evans
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08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06 |
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08/05/22 12:53:13 |
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"On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56 |
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01/02/22 8:02:45 |
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18/11/21 13:17:02 |
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I'll show you mine if you show me yours. --Willie Johnson
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"Oh hell, not again. I wish your mother would tell me when she's pregnant." 19/10/21 7:20:26 |
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"Cut! This isn't working. Maybe we should try that laser sword idea after all?" 12/09/21 19:56:53 |
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26/08/21 20:20:59 |
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You won't fool me, I'm posting anonymously. The only thing I trust people from Nigeria with is my bank account number. [anon] --Willie Johnson
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"What are you celebrating?" 12/08/21 7:05:59 |
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Having got through Covid, I can identify with that. --Molly R
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"Here's five bucks kid," said Tina from Doncaster. "It's been a while." 17/04/21 19:58:08 |
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"🎵 Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chamele..." 06/03/21 20:00:44 |
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Stop it, it's bad karma. --Willie Johnson
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It was Alvin's coke habit that caused the band to break up. 04/03/21 20:13:45 |
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Bloody Royal Mail. You post something 65 million years in advance and it still arrives a month late. 25/01/21 12:59:28 |
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17/12/20 20:34:15 |
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29/03/20 8:17:00 |
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Funny, I dated a vegetarian once and she didn't like little willies. 01/03/20 8:37:20 |
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"Good thinking Ahmed, this trip across the Sahara will be much better with air-conditioning." 16/02/20 20:03:32 |
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And in his spare time Spiderman helps Gulliver floss. 07/02/20 13:01:19 |
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I don't think it's a real car. It looks phoney. 02/11/23 12:04:02, edited: 02/11/23 12:21:47 |
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"Ah, here's your problem. You have a big red arrow stuck in your knee." 18/09/23 19:14:22 |
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That bloody Al Overy and his caption.me prizes. 10/09/23 7:04:13 |
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29/08/23 11:11:08 |
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20/08/23 7:32:52 |
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After that remark, your captioneer friends are going to buy you an ice cream. Erm. --Al Overy
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06/03/23 8:13:43 |
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"For Crissake, there's no need to call Social Services, the damn baby isn't even mine." 31/01/23 20:08:36 |
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email us
Cheers Wolf. After writing it I read an earlier caption that was a bit similar, so I thought I'd best change mine. I quite liked the original though, and would happily revert if Peter as the voter was OK with it?
7:48am
comment on caption:
"Build your own man! First part just 99p!!*" *subsequent parts £19.99 each [James Lennox]
Bugger it. Have reverted. Sorry Peter, but if the Wolf said this version was superb... I mean, come on, it's the Wolf
8:34am
comment on caption:
"Build your own man! First part just 99p!!*" *subsequent parts £19.99 each [James Lennox]
Love this version of the caption, and the others in the edit history are great too.
How about posting one of the other versions as a separate caption? If you create a new caption "We've come up with a new sales strategy, but I'm not sure you're going to like it, Ken," it's got my vote.
11:37am
comment on caption:
"Build your own man! First part just 99p!!*" *subsequent parts £19.99 each [James Lennox]
Many thanks, Chris, I've added the other version as a separate caption.
Peter, if you don't like this version, please don't vote for the other I just added, and then we'll be all square in the votes 👍
6:58pm
comment on caption:
"Build your own man! First part just 99p!!*" *subsequent parts £19.99 each [James Lennox]
"Ho ho ho..."HO-BAGS!"
10:13pm
comment on caption:
"Ho, ho, ho, and ho!" [James Lennox]
Crap, sorry Steve, tweaked it after your vote maybe? Will revert on your say so.
Edit: All good, mate, will revert.
Edit 2: Lol, will revert the reversion.
8:17am
comment on caption:
"Jeez, I could murder a grandma ... I mean, a kebab." [James Lennox]
I'll happy with either. Grab a grandma sounds funnier though.
8:21am
comment on caption:
"Jeez, I could murder a grandma ... I mean, a kebab." [James Lennox]
Ha, you've got me wondering now whether murder a grandma is funnier. It's nice having the double 'gr' sound though.
8:24am
comment on caption:
"Jeez, I could murder a grandma ... I mean, a kebab." [James Lennox]
I really want to tweak this to "...all for cucumbers and corn" but won't, unless the voters like the change?
- Many thanks Kathleen and Karyn. Hope you don't mind Hercules and Peter.
5:48pm
comment on caption:
Weird that Gran was against genetically engineered peas, rice, and cabbages, but she was all for cucumbers and corn. [James Lennox]
Fine with me, caption author.
8:26pm
comment on caption:
Weird that Gran was against genetically engineered peas, rice, and cabbages, but she was all for cucumbers and corn. [James Lennox]