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Chris Keegan Vote score: 14159Chris Keegan

"Are you OK to hold madam, I've got one or two others waiting for the meter reading department"

01/04/22 7:22:35

James Lennox Vote score: 16286James Lennox

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

01/04/22 7:32:42

Dave E Vote score: 923Dave E

It’s the same every bloody year! I put them away neatly in January but it still takes me until Boxing Day to untangle them!

01/04/22 7:02:28

Dave E Vote score: 923Dave E

There’s no need to panic, miss. To disarm it, you just need to snip the grey wire.

01/04/22 7:00:21

Dave Bryan Vote score: 29691Dave Bryan

''Aren't you listening in to the caption phone-ins this morning, Betty?''

''No, there's too much bad language.''

01/04/22 7:15:33

Stephen Bean Vote score: 35133Stephen Bean

"Olga, have you managed to fix President Putin's brain yet?"

01/04/22 7:21:35

"Yes, turns out he had a screw loose." --James Lennox
Dave Bryan Vote score: 29691Dave Bryan

''Darling, are you sure brown is neut.........................''

01/04/22 7:29:53

Dave E Vote score: 923Dave E

"Come on Susan! Hurry up! The 12pm caption is due"

01/04/22 7:06:17

Tony Edwards Vote score: 38473Tony Edwards

The world's first multitasking computer.

01/04/22 9:45:50

stoneface1 Vote score: 1936stoneface1

Panic in new telephone exchange, as the total number of telephone users increases to five.

01/04/22 7:31:49

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 12517Hercules Rockefeller

"Karen, can you be a dear & fix the modem again?"

01/04/22 7:01:41

Molly R Vote score: 4221Molly R

Sue Gray is still trying to untangle the web of lies about Partygate.

01/04/22 7:01:25

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