best earliest latest latest and best captions

"Dave, why is that fat bloke with wings always outside your house?"

"Oh, he's my garden angel."

07/03/23 20:02:40

"Let's see the bastard give me a ticket now!"

05/03/23 20:02:39

"You saw ME buying a cucumber that size"

03/03/23 8:03:06

Medical breakthrough as three new antibiotics discovered in Hull

01/03/23 13:10:51, edited: 01/03/23 13:11:30

"There's a problem with your hand luggage, Mr Flintstone."

24/02/23 12:05:01

Scary Spice

22/02/23 21:24:47

"Have you painted daffodils on the headlights?"
"No they require bulbs."

22/02/23 12:15:13

"I found your contact, Mr. Gulliver."

21/02/23 20:05:05

"Does my bun look big in this?"

19/02/23 20:13:01

Yikes! I wouldn't like to meet that cat on a Dark Knight!

15/02/23 12:00:12

♪ What's new Pussy Cap ♪

11/02/23 8:00:46, edited: 11/02/23 13:27:40

Crimes Against Shoemanity

10/02/23 8:02:14

Bed and don't brake fast

06/02/23 20:00:11

Harmchair

06/02/23 8:04:02

"I tell you what, the cycling proficiency test was a lot easier in my day."

05/02/23 21:00:13

lol

Note to self, when robbing a bank always ask the get away driver what type of car he’ll be turning up in.

02/02/23 12:12:10

The Italian Blob

02/02/23 12:08:39

The Fat and the Furious

02/02/23 12:00:07

"Nope, it's no good. I'll have to try the laxatives."

01/02/23 20:03:39

Are the batteries free of charge?

31/01/23 12:32:20

It's sad to see how Cupid grew up

30/01/23 12:06:55

Highway Code

27/01/23 8:35:36

How small the South Pole needs to get before everyone believes in global warming.

26/01/23 20:00:06

"That's one strong dog, what's his name?"
"Jack".

24/01/23 12:13:32

The path of leashed resistance

23/01/23 14:00:35

Until I come back for a look, this caption has zero votes and 21 votes.

21/01/23 8:27:04

clever

The caption always goes down with the ship.

19/01/23 8:11:08

lol

"Careful, you'll get Mr Whippylash."

16/01/23 12:00:49

Vestival of Lights

13/01/23 20:00:16

Where's Wally (the early years)

12/01/23 20:14:36

Ash in the Attic

11/01/23 20:06:02

Police officer: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son has been troubling the fire brigade".
Parents: "Arson?"
Police officer: "Yes, your son!"

10/01/23 20:00:11

Soler power

08/01/23 8:47:00

"Those mushrooms were tasty now let's run up the hill and give that unicorn this carrot"

07/01/23 20:23:18

Pussies galore

07/01/23 12:05:42

The Invisible Man was taking a right pounding.

04/01/23 12:29:09

Looks like he's had an art attack.

04/01/23 8:12:20

Time to unwind

01/01/23 20:24:57

There was no denying that defrosting of the upright freezer was way overdue

31/12/22 8:09:04

He wanted to be buried in his tank.

25/12/22 20:13:55

"He definitely has some issues".

24/12/22 12:58:40, edited: 24/12/22 15:56:28

Behind The Times

24/12/22 12:41:36

"All units, we're looking for a chubby guy in a red suit seen staggering from the crash... Witnesses say he's consumed around 8,000 glasses of sherry."

23/12/22 20:00:38, edited: 23/12/22 20:01:12

We've all been there. It's difficult getting dog shit out of the kid's shoes.

18/12/22 20:54:45

The Drying Scotsman

16/12/22 8:00:32

Shark in vested waters

13/12/22 8:04:16

I can remember the good old days of caption.me when we had a cat photo every week. Unfortunately, the site has gone to the dogs.

08/12/22 8:16:23

I took up writing captions 10 years ago to fund building my new house .

07/12/22 20:18:08, edited: 07/12/22 20:25:43

creative

"When I said I had a cottage in the countryside, I might have exaggerated a little."

07/12/22 20:16:16

Ooh I don't know. I think the pound coin is iiiiiin Janet's hand!

07/12/22 12:00:18

lol

There was nothing Dave enjoyed more than launching an unprovoked mortar attack on an unsuspecting neighbour.

01/12/22 13:17:31

Holy cow

30/11/22 8:00:10

''Cheese!''

''Actually, they're smokey bacon.''

29/11/22 8:01:34

That outfit's so last month.

22/11/22 20:01:24

lol

"They've definitely abandoned us. We should've been nice to them rather than shouting at them all the time"

"Agreed. Guide dogs should be treated with respect. Where do you think we are?"

20/11/22 9:17:42

“Sorry, can’t look at you, you’re all so bloody ugly.”

19/11/22 20:46:26, edited: 19/11/22 22:18:53

clever

"Nice calves."

19/11/22 12:04:27

lol

I may have no house, no clothes, no hot water and have some cattle giving me an ominous pre-charge stare – but at least I’ve got a pot to piss in.

19/11/22 12:00:14

Snog, marinade, avoid?

12/11/22 8:00:45

Slumdog Pillionaires

10/11/22 20:00:19

Rat Leaves Sinking Ship

10/11/22 12:04:37

Here's the man who invented Mousetrap

03/11/22 8:28:35

"I'll raise you three incontinence pads."

30/10/22 20:08:50

The Hound of the Basketvilles

29/10/22 19:00:05

creative

Enjoying the soda stream.

29/10/22 7:10:26

''By identifying as a potato, I'm hoping to develop a thick skin.''

27/10/22 7:44:41

Spokey

26/10/22 7:46:16

''A vote for me is a vote for change.''

25/10/22 11:10:12

"Dad! I think I saw a fighter plane in the car park!"... "Don't worry son, it's just a Mirage."

24/10/22 11:21:36

“Mary, your blind date has arrived”

23/10/22 19:34:35

clever

"...and the vet said it's probably tinnitus."

23/10/22 7:26:39

Dave, there's worst to come, apparently it's over the wrong river....

22/10/22 15:15:07, edited: 22/10/22 15:18:33

...and the winning Pumpkins in the 'carve-a-celebrity' competition go to David Dickinson and Katie Price.

21/10/22 20:04:51

Sun rise at the crack of Dawn

15/10/22 19:01:07

"Did you forget to tell that couple in room 11 about the fire alarm test?"

15/10/22 11:36:26

"My girlfriend struggles to container emotions."

12/10/22 11:00:08, edited: 12/10/22 11:02:17

clever

Today at kitty cycling proficiency class, there were more pupils than anticipated.

12/10/22 7:10:28

Proof that gin and Ebay don't mix.

10/10/22 12:04:50, edited: 10/10/22 12:05:00

lol clever

Disney totally ruined Saw.

08/10/22 19:07:23

In half an hour this will be the best spot on the whole beach.

08/10/22 7:21:34

Makes you smile this photo, dozen tit?

06/10/22 11:01:29

Early Gurning Centre

04/10/22 11:00:11

It's hard to believe only two of the women pictured would go on to become killers.

30/09/22 12:09:53

Let sleeping dogs lilo

29/09/22 7:00:07

"Hey, Nigel, would you give me a hand? I need to dig a f****** big hole."

28/09/22 11:26:21

After falsely being accused of not strapping the customers into the ride and being sacked for it the attendant successfully sued for Funfair Dismissal.

23/09/22 7:51:17

The great thing about the new variant of bird flu; you can tell who’s got it .

20/09/22 19:12:08

lol

"You're so romantic Tony. Where did you get all the flowers from?"

"Someone left them lying outside Buckingham Palace."

19/09/22 12:02:13, edited: 19/09/22 19:45:06

lol

''I've managed to attach the wreath to the front of the van.''

''Well done. Now throw the coffin in the back and let's get going. We need to be at Westminster Abbey by 11.00am.''

18/09/22 7:41:11

Hand eye coordination

17/09/22 11:00:09

creative

He's ready to go through the Pearly White Gates.

14/09/22 11:08:02

Farmula 1 racing

14/09/22 7:15:57

You've a bit of something in your teeth.

10/09/22 11:16:48

Shellfie

08/09/22 11:09:21

Spotted in the Frozen aisle.

04/09/22 11:04:15

Happens all the time when couples get old. Pops buys a caravan, and Nan dyes her hare pink.

02/09/22 7:06:45

lol

"Look on the bright side, you're not pregnant."

30/08/22 11:05:20

"It's time you shaved that moustache. It's looking rather stale, mate."

29/08/22 7:38:06

Serving suggestion

25/08/22 7:00:26