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The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on.
The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. photo | portfolio
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James Lennox Vote score: 6135James Lennox

The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on.

31/07/20 8:09:57

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20860John Glover

"I know I'm whispering, that nosey cow on your right is trying to listen in on our conversation."

31/07/20 12:40:44

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 683alexandra ball

This dryer isn't loud enough, I can still hear her!

31/07/20 8:52:14

 1
"What?" --Willie Johnson
Michael Winner Vote score: 23482Michael Winner

"Oh, you're having your mind erased too?"

31/07/20 8:47:20

 
Molly R Vote score: 2068Molly R

Ethel, I know you're a slow reader, but your hair is done and it's time you went home.

31/07/20 8:04:46

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11410Dave Bryan

''I'm so pleased the hairdressing salons are open again. I've really missed sitting on uncomfortable chairs, reading old magazines.''

31/07/20 8:40:00

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1811Willie Johnson

The alien tube-mouths were about to get two more victims.

31/07/20 11:12:36

 
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 4973Karyn Harrison

Triple sec.

31/07/20 10:07:27

 
The Wolf Vote score: 8094The Wolf

2021.

"Ladies, if you want your pedicures you'll need to put your Covid helmets back on"

31/07/20 8:14:23

 
David Robb Vote score: 178David Robb

"What style would I get on full suction?"
"That would be the Sinead O'Connor."

31/07/20 18:54:11

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11410Dave Bryan

''I see Denis The Menace is in trouble again.''

31/07/20 8:17:33

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10177Mr Dome

What's the point of this they will still have grey hair

31/07/20 8:15:37

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 7004Hercules Rockefeller

Perm bank

31/07/20 8:14:42

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11410Dave Bryan

''What do you think of this 'smack a mole' idea, Mavis?''

''Not a lot. It doesn't get rid of the mole and it hurts your face.''

31/07/20 8:09:15

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 2670Scrijjy Doo

Hair to the Throne

31/07/20 14:48:42

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1361Al Overy

"Look girls! Page 6 - caption competition. Put something about Dave and superglue!"

31/07/20 13:21:02

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6892Glyn Evans

"It's impressive how you can read and spin those buckets on your heads at the same time..."

31/07/20 12:24:29

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11000Neil Mackenzie

You spend hours at the salon and go home, your husband is bound to notice and complement you.
He eats his dinner and says nothing. You watch tv together he says nothing. You go to bed, he says who the hell are you? Where’s my wife?

31/07/20 11:44:15

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2304Rachel P

1950's in da hood

31/07/20 11:09:33

 
David Robb Vote score: 178David Robb

Wouldn't Homer like you to try another look Marge.

31/07/20 10:27:55

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10177Mr Dome

For middle aged spinsters this is the last chance salon

31/07/20 10:17:06

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1361Al Overy

"Will you be going for collar and cuffs, Betty?"

31/07/20 10:16:28

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22917Ian Skelding

"Look, Queen Victoria's going to continually wear black from when her hubby died last week."

31/07/20 9:36:03

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1361Al Overy

Time for a bit of dry humour.

31/07/20 8:33:13

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13090Vanessa the Guesser

"I do hope Dave gets something for the weekend. I'm up for a good shag."

31/07/20 8:33:09

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11410Dave Bryan

''I don't need a hairdryer. I'm married to Alex Ferguson.''

31/07/20 8:21:27

 
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