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"... and then he took his shirt off and things started to get weird." 09/04/20 19:40:08 |
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No animals were harmed during the making of this picture, but some were highly pissed off. 25/03/20 8:07:25 |
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"No animals were harmed" - just someone's dignity. --Willie Johnson
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"Ok Dave, you create a diversion while I steal the mini." 09/01/20 12:14:25 |
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05/12/19 8:04:18 |
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02/09/19 7:57:49 |
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"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip." 05/03/19 12:24:57 |
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15/02/19 20:16:18 |
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The rough end of Sesame Street. 27/12/24 8:15:36 |
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3 o'clock that night... 30/06/24 19:21:25, edited: 30/06/24 19:24:47 |
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"If you want a laugh, throw 3 sticks in different directions." 01/06/24 19:24:18, edited: 01/06/24 19:35:56 |
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18/05/24 7:05:09 |
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18/04/24 11:16:16 |
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"One wonders if she spreads easily." 09/03/24 20:07:56 |
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No, that's her sister, Flora. --Karyn Harrison
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19/02/24 20:15:33 |
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Dave was rubbish at picking up girls. 31/12/23 20:19:41, edited: 01/01/24 8:03:59 |
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"Yeah, sex with him is dry, boring, and one sided, but for some reason it does keep my thrush away." 12/12/23 8:24:39 |
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"Jeez, I could murder a grandma ... I mean, a kebab." 07/12/23 8:13:13, edited: 07/12/23 8:28:15 |
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Ha, you've got me wondering now whether murder a grandma is funnier. It's nice having the double 'gr' sound though. --Stephen Bean
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12/10/23 19:17:35 |
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13/08/23 19:31:47 |
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"Any last words, sir?" 04/06/23 19:52:29, edited: 04/06/23 19:55:29 |
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The did say his sentence would be suspended. --Tony S
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And in Dublin, the annual 'Swap you Wife for a Keg of Guinness' promotion kicks off. 04/05/23 7:01:19 |
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22/03/23 12:11:18 |
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"Hmmn, do you reckon we should put the 'Out of Order' sign at the bottom or the top?" 06/03/23 12:29:17 |
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"I think I'm gonna find a new Best Man, Dave. This Stag Do sucks." 09/02/23 12:17:23 |
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Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide. 15/01/23 20:18:34 |
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Careful about giving in to the urge to make a banana pun. It's a slippery slope. --Willie Johnson
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03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07 |
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That poor dog :-D --Glyn Evans
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08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06 |
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08/05/22 12:53:13 |
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"On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56 |
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01/02/22 8:02:45 |
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18/11/21 13:17:02 |
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I'll show you mine if you show me yours. --Willie Johnson
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"Oh hell, not again. I wish your mother would tell me when she's pregnant." 19/10/21 7:20:26 |
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"Cut! This isn't working. Maybe we should try that laser sword idea after all?" 12/09/21 19:56:53 |
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26/08/21 20:20:59 |
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You won't fool me, I'm posting anonymously. The only thing I trust people from Nigeria with is my bank account number. [anon] --Willie Johnson
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"What are you celebrating?" 12/08/21 7:05:59 |
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Having got through Covid, I can identify with that. --Molly R
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"Here's five bucks kid," said Tina from Doncaster. "It's been a while." 17/04/21 19:58:08 |
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"🎵 Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chamele..." 06/03/21 20:00:44 |
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Stop it, it's bad karma. --Willie Johnson
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It was Alvin's coke habit that caused the band to break up. 04/03/21 20:13:45 |
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Bloody Royal Mail. You post something 65 million years in advance and it still arrives a month late. 25/01/21 12:59:28 |
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17/12/20 20:34:15 |
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29/03/20 8:17:00 |
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Funny, I dated a vegetarian once and she didn't like little willies. 01/03/20 8:37:20 |
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"Good thinking Ahmed, this trip across the Sahara will be much better with air-conditioning." 16/02/20 20:03:32 |
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And in his spare time Spiderman helps Gulliver floss. 07/02/20 13:01:19 |
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"Ok, honey, I take it back. You're NOT just like your psycho mother. Now put the scissors down." 27/11/24 20:15:42 |
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21/11/24 8:43:50 |
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12/11/24 12:00:36 |
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12/09/24 19:35:23 |
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"Hmmn, sounds like it needs a tune up." 31/05/24 7:01:02, edited: 31/05/24 7:02:00 |
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Jim Henson's kids didn't even know he existed till they turned 5. 03/03/24 20:13:46, edited: 03/03/24 20:20:37 |
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I liked the original caption more! 🙂 --KT A
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26/02/24 12:12:16 |
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14/01/24 8:02:13, edited: 14/01/24 8:08:06 |
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08/01/24 20:31:20 |
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Unfortunately there was an Afro in front of her. 17/12/23 8:09:40, edited: 17/12/23 8:40:32 |
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I don't think it's a real car. It looks phoney. 02/11/23 12:04:02, edited: 02/11/23 12:21:47 |
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"Ah, here's your problem. You have a big red arrow stuck in your knee." 18/09/23 19:14:22 |
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That bloody Al Overy and his caption.me prizes. 10/09/23 7:04:13 |
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29/08/23 11:11:08 |
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20/08/23 7:32:52 |
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After that remark, your captioneer friends are going to buy you an ice cream. Erm. --Al Overy
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06/03/23 8:13:43 |
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"For Crissake, there's no need to call Social Services, the damn baby isn't even mine." 31/01/23 20:08:36 |
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"Nah, that's rubbish," said Walt Disney. "Let's try dogs and spaghetti." 01/11/22 8:00:55, edited: 01/11/22 8:04:08 |
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Disney are really cutting corners with their live action remakes. --Mark Cowling
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"Sure, it stings now, but you'll thank me when you're grown up and immune to jellyfish." 06/10/22 11:04:54, edited: 06/10/22 11:13:33 |
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When she sobered up, Rose suddenly wished for an iceberg. 10/08/22 13:16:38 |
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18/05/22 7:27:06 |
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13/05/22 13:37:30 |
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Despite her abnormal childhood, Susan grew up to be a perfectly normal serial killer. 04/11/21 12:07:00 |
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There's a few serial killers you have to watch, they're a bit strange. Not from around these parts. --Glyn Evans
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"Put down the knife, Davy, and let's discuss this silly hat idea." 18/10/21 11:20:10 |
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Mittens was later convicted by concrete evidence. 07/10/21 19:08:30 |
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The downside of early photography was the long exposure time. 24/02/21 20:13:42 |
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Those baby photographers take forever. --Willie Johnson
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21/12/20 8:40:26 |
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06/12/20 20:00:51 |
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I wish we could return to the good old days, when women took ironing seriously. 10/09/20 7:21:35 |
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It's obviously a Salvador BaalÃ. 07/09/20 7:00:36 |
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19/07/20 7:14:06 |
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You'd think that no matter how inebriated someone got, that they wouldn't eat someone else's vomit - however it wouldn't surprise me if someone somewhere had a story like that to tell. --Glyn Evans
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The top half looks good, but dig a little deeper and you'll find she's got crabs. 29/05/20 19:14:51 |
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Warning, terrible pun ahead, brace yourselves. 24/03/20 20:24:26 |
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OrthoDON'Tics --Scrijjy Doo
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My wife wanted a baby, I wanted a fridge magnet, we compromised. 26/06/19 7:00:40 |
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Scientists at CERN say it's nothing to worry about. 23/03/19 13:42:05 |
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He's been driving around in circles for ages. 20/02/19 12:00:19 |
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05/02/25 8:22:53 |
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"Well, you could have told me you were colour blind BEFORE we ran six red lights." 24/12/24 8:28:39, edited: 24/12/24 8:36:36 |
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18/11/24 20:01:00 |
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Fine by me either way, caption author. --Karyn Harrison
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"And voila! The bird has vanished! ... *burp* " 14/11/24 20:01:34 |
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"Congratulations, give her a hand!" 26/09/24 19:01:18 |
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14/05/24 19:12:58, edited: 14/05/24 19:16:18 |
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It was a hell of a laugh until Boris the bull turned up. 28/03/24 8:02:57 |
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"Any requests? I'm very familiar with Queen." 04/01/24 8:04:51 |
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Oh for God's sake, not another photo of an old lady carrying an umbrella while riding a skateboard! 13/10/23 7:01:09 |
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Yes, make it the norm. It could be the norm. Please...I could advertise for more photos of old ladies carrying umbrellas riding skateboards.However I could be mistaken for a pervert so I'd better put a NOT A PERVERT disclaimer --Glyn Evans
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"Excellent, Mr. Smith, your elbow is healing well. You can pass me my clothes back now." 18/09/23 19:33:44, edited: 18/09/23 19:35:26 |
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02/09/23 7:11:13 |
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09/08/23 19:19:52 |
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"Ok, Dave, I'll move them. Just stop peeing on my arm." 04/07/23 19:01:46 |
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"Take that off, Dave, you look like a foal." 11/06/23 19:34:40 |
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- 21 25/02/23 8:00:16 |
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Nod to my dating profile. --Tony S
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What happens in the barn, stays in the barn. 12/11/22 20:06:08 |
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"Give me your basket, bitch!" demanded Little Red Riding Hoodlum. 26/08/22 7:11:50 |
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"Well, those seats are novel." 16/08/22 7:04:17, edited: 16/08/22 7:08:51 |
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23/06/22 19:30:52 |
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Cheers, Al. I reckon this would be a great month for Chris to do something totally spontaneous and pick a winner from the middle of the pack ;) --James Lennox
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20/06/22 20:53:21 |
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And the cashier says, "Why the long receipt?"
8:46pm
comment on caption:
A horse walks into a Spar... [James Lennox]
Sorry GYR, had to edit in the question mark. Thanks for the vote
8:05pm
comment on caption:
The "Where's Wadlow?" books were rubbish. [James Lennox]
You deserve an award for that.
12:24pm
comment on caption:
"It's my new invention: A Caption Test Dummy. I call him Dave." [James Lennox]
Inspiration nod to 20:08:06
8:11pm
comment on caption:
"Your honour, I'd like to cross the road ... I mean, cross-examine the witness." [James Lennox]
When the dog went out it was gunned down in the street. The papers referred to the incident as the 'Quaint Valentine's Stray Massacre'.
8:21pm
comment on caption:
Valentine's Stray [James Lennox]
Ah, I remember that, Anon. The gunmen were disguised as police dogs.
8:23pm
comment on caption:
Valentine's Stray [James Lennox]
Happy to delete if this tips the bad taste scale too far.
12:11pm
comment on caption:
"I don't want to alarm anyone, but..." said the captain of the Titan submersible. [James Lennox]
The depths some will sink for a gag.
12:12pm
comment on caption:
"I don't want to alarm anyone, but..." said the captain of the Titan submersible. [James Lennox]
No!! I’d be crushed if you deleted this caption!
3:31pm
comment on caption:
"I don't want to alarm anyone, but..." said the captain of the Titan submersible. [James Lennox]
shes got a magnifying glass for behind the ears.
5:27pm
comment on caption:
"Yes, I've showered properly. Is this really necessary, mum?" [James Lennox]