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This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
Captions | 77 | 21 | 48 | #7 | 16 | 71 | #5 | 5978 | 16341 | #16 |
Photos | 10 | #4 | 11 | #4 | 380 | 948 | #6 | |||
Comments | 8 | 8 | 4 | #3 | 1 | 1144 | 1746 | #3 | ||
Forum Posts | 2 | 53 | ||||||||
Suggested Edits | 5 | 28 | 34 | #3 | ||||||
Tips | 1 | 2 | #1 | 1 | 2 | #9 |
This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
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Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
Captions | 45 | #5 | 32 | #11 | 9545 | #25 |
Photos | 889 | #22 | ||||
Comments | 9 | #1 | 1897 | #5 | ||
Forum Posts | ||||||
Suggested Edits | 1 | #1 | 26 | #2 | ||
Tips | 1 | #4 |
captions
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22/03/23 12:11:18 |
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"Hmmn, do you reckon we should put the 'Out of Order' sign at the bottom or the top?" 06/03/23 12:29:17 |
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"I think I'm gonna find a new Best Man, Dave. This Stag Do sucks." 09/02/23 12:17:23 |
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Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide. 15/01/23 20:18:34 |
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Careful about giving in to the urge to make a banana pun. It's a slippery slope. --Willie Johnson
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03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07 |
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That poor dog :-D --Glyn Evans
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08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06 |
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08/05/22 13:53:13 |
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"On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56 |
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01/02/22 8:02:45 |
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18/11/21 13:17:02 |
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I'll show you mine if you show me yours. --Willie Johnson
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"Oh hell, not again. I wish your mother would tell me when she's pregnant." 19/10/21 8:20:26 |
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"Cut! This isn't working. Maybe we should try that laser sword idea after all?" 12/09/21 20:56:53 |
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26/08/21 21:20:59 |
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You won't fool me, I'm posting anonymously. The only thing I trust people from Nigeria with is my bank account number. [anon] --Willie Johnson
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"What are you celebrating?" 12/08/21 8:05:59 |
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Having got through Covid, I can identify with that. --Molly R
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"Here's five bucks kid," said Tina from Doncaster. "It's been a while." 17/04/21 20:58:08 |
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"🎵 Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chamele..." 06/03/21 20:00:44 |
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Stop it, it's bad karma. --Willie Johnson
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It was Alvin's coke habit that caused the band to break up. 04/03/21 20:13:45 |
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Bloody Royal Mail. You post something 65 million years in advance and it still arrives a month late. 25/01/21 12:59:28 |
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17/12/20 20:34:15 |
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29/03/20 9:17:00 |
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Funny, I dated a vegetarian once and she didn't like little willies. 01/03/20 8:37:20 |
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"Good thinking Ahmed, this trip across the Sahara will be much better with air-conditioning." 16/02/20 20:03:32 |
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And in his spare time Spiderman helps Gulliver floss. 07/02/20 13:01:19 |
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"Hmmn, sounds like it needs a tune up." 31/05/24 8:01:02, edited: 31/05/24 8:02:00 |
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Jim Henson's kids didn't even know he existed till they turned 5. 03/03/24 20:13:46, edited: 03/03/24 20:20:37 |
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I liked the original caption more! 🙂 --KT A
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26/02/24 12:12:16 |
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14/01/24 8:02:13, edited: 14/01/24 8:08:06 |
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08/01/24 20:31:20 |
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Unfortunately there was an Afro in front of her. 17/12/23 8:09:40, edited: 17/12/23 8:40:32 |
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I don't think it's a real car. It looks phoney. 02/11/23 12:04:02, edited: 02/11/23 12:21:47 |
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"Ah, here's your problem. You have a big red arrow stuck in your knee." 18/09/23 20:14:22 |
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That bloody Al Overy and his caption.me prizes. 10/09/23 8:04:13 |
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29/08/23 12:11:08 |
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20/08/23 8:32:52 |
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After that remark, your captioneer friends are going to buy you an ice cream. Erm. --Al Overy
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06/03/23 8:13:43 |
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"For Crissake, there's no need to call Social Services, the damn baby isn't even mine." 31/01/23 20:08:36 |
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"Nah, that's rubbish," said Walt Disney. "Let's try dogs and spaghetti." 01/11/22 8:00:55, edited: 01/11/22 8:04:08 |
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Disney are really cutting corners with their live action remakes. --Mark Cowling
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"Sure, it stings now, but you'll thank me when you're grown up and immune to jellyfish." 06/10/22 12:04:54, edited: 06/10/22 12:13:33 |
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When she sobered up, Rose suddenly wished for an iceberg. 10/08/22 14:16:38 |
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18/05/22 8:27:06 |
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13/05/22 14:37:30 |
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Despite her abnormal childhood, Susan grew up to be a perfectly normal serial killer. 04/11/21 12:07:00 |
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There's a few serial killers you have to watch, they're a bit strange. Not from around these parts. --Glyn Evans
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"Put down the knife, Davy, and let's discuss this silly hat idea." 18/10/21 12:20:10 |
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Mittens was later convicted by concrete evidence. 07/10/21 20:08:30 |
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The downside of early photography was the long exposure time. 24/02/21 20:13:42 |
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Those baby photographers take forever. --Willie Johnson
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21/12/20 8:40:26 |
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06/12/20 20:00:51 |
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I wish we could return to the good old days, when women took ironing seriously. 10/09/20 8:21:35 |
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It's obviously a Salvador BaalÃ. 07/09/20 8:00:36 |
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19/07/20 8:14:06 |
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You'd think that no matter how inebriated someone got, that they wouldn't eat someone else's vomit - however it wouldn't surprise me if someone somewhere had a story like that to tell. --Glyn Evans
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The top half looks good, but dig a little deeper and you'll find she's got crabs. 29/05/20 20:14:51 |
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Warning, terrible pun ahead, brace yourselves. 24/03/20 20:24:26 |
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OrthoDON'Tics --Scrijjy Doo
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My wife wanted a baby, I wanted a fridge magnet, we compromised. 26/06/19 8:00:40 |
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Scientists at CERN say it's nothing to worry about. 23/03/19 13:42:05 |
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He's been driving around in circles for ages. 20/02/19 12:00:19 |
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14/05/24 20:12:58, edited: 14/05/24 20:16:18 |
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It was a hell of a laugh until Boris the bull turned up. 28/03/24 8:02:57 |
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"Any requests? I'm very familiar with Queen." 04/01/24 8:04:51 |
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Oh for God's sake, not another photo of an old lady carrying an umbrella while riding a skateboard! 13/10/23 8:01:09 |
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Yes, make it the norm. It could be the norm. Please...I could advertise for more photos of old ladies carrying umbrellas riding skateboards.However I could be mistaken for a pervert so I'd better put a NOT A PERVERT disclaimer --Glyn Evans
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"Excellent, Mr. Smith, your elbow is healing well. You can pass me my clothes back now." 18/09/23 20:33:44, edited: 18/09/23 20:35:26 |
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02/09/23 8:11:13 |
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09/08/23 20:19:52 |
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"Ok, Dave, I'll move them. Just stop peeing on my arm." 04/07/23 20:01:46 |
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"Take that off, Dave, you look like a foal." 11/06/23 20:34:40 |
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- 21 25/02/23 8:00:16 |
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Nod to my dating profile. --Tony S
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What happens in the barn, stays in the barn. 12/11/22 20:06:08 |
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"Give me your basket, bitch!" demanded Little Red Riding Hoodlum. 26/08/22 8:11:50 |
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"Well, those seats are novel." 16/08/22 8:04:17, edited: 16/08/22 8:08:51 |
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23/06/22 20:30:52 |
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Cheers, Al. I reckon this would be a great month for Chris to do something totally spontaneous and pick a winner from the middle of the pack ;) --James Lennox
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20/06/22 21:53:21 |
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"Dad, I can't breathe!" 18/02/22 8:50:49 |
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"Mittens, honey, I've got good news and bad. The good news is I have that pesky mouse cornered..." 01/02/22 20:10:14 |
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"Where on earth is the bow?" 17/11/21 9:04:49 |
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The Invisible Man still has nightmares about the time he caught Spiderman masturbating. 30/10/21 10:04:25 |
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He's no longer the Invisible Man, now he's more like See-man --Glyn Evans
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11/10/21 20:06:35 |
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That's one cat at £1000 each... --Glyn Evans
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"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in." 06/08/21 20:00:26 |
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"Those bugs have eluded me so far, but something tells me they're f#cking close." 25/05/21 20:47:45 |
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"We're not wearing anything Dave, but if you're shy come in your shorts." 09/03/21 12:00:39 |
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Fortunately the North Korean nuclear threat wasn't all it had been cracked up to be. 22/02/21 8:22:01 |
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Dave loved riding lightning rods during hurricanes. He did it well. We'll miss you Dave. 14/01/21 8:07:10 |
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Please change it back. I thought "We'll miss you Dave" was punchier, but you decide. --Glyn Evans
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It's a wonder of nature how sunflowers always turn to face the camera. 08/11/20 20:09:23 |
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"Honey, remember how 9 months ago I told you I was abducted by aliens..." 29/09/20 8:03:18 |
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When your remote falls down the back of the pouch. 24/08/20 12:05:55 |
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Gloves and mask are required PPE - Lab coat is optional. 30/04/20 8:03:23 |
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I hope to move here, I'm sick of living in Wanking. 16/04/20 20:19:03 |
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31/03/20 13:07:22 |
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20/03/20 12:38:53 |
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(I like it the way it is.) --Crunchy Chords
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27/02/20 20:12:02 |
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If you're a captioneer, there actually ARE faces in everyday things. --Willie Johnson
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Never give bubblegum to your dog. 16/01/20 23:35:44 |
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Well played Mr Lennox. Brilliant caption! --Karyn Harrison
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Well, the ventriloquism was good, but have you thought about getting a smaller dummy? 04/09/19 8:02:16 |
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"No Sweetie, put it down ... we have to cook it first." 20/08/19 20:00:13 |
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Had the same idea but decided to change mine slightly at the last minute! (damn it)! Here, have a vote, I've disguised my vote as a golf ball, ready, steady, FORE...smack, (sails through the trees and down the fairway like meteor destined for hap... --The Wolf
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I retract my earlier caption: THIS is the tackiest toilet I've ever seen. 24/04/19 20:09:10 |
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Replace your groin armour now Stormtrooper #66! 26/01/19 12:12:44 |
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09/07/24 8:01:21 |
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08/06/24 20:00:53 |
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"Um, no, it's not a rainbow, it's actually three lions devouring my mum." 02/06/24 8:10:05 |
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"Ok, as I can now see my arse, I probably was spinning on my office chair a little too fast." 13/04/24 8:21:56 |
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I don't think any meaning of the word fast applies to her - unless she is stuck in her chair --Mr Dome
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For those who love feeling the grass between their toes, but hate stepping in dog shit. 23/03/24 20:17:52 |
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30/12/23 12:05:31, edited: 30/12/23 12:15:12 |
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05/12/23 8:05:36 |
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Princess of Wales still can't stop herself from meddling.
11:21am
comment on caption:
Sometimes it's totally impossible to tell the difference between an AI generated image and an actual real picture of somebody with deformed hands. [James Lennox]
That's classic, Steve. I just returned to make this exact edit and saw your suggestion. Cheers.
8:49pm
comment on caption:
2001: A Space Odd Daisy [James Lennox]
I'm glad you mentioned that. I've been pining for that caption.
8:12pm
comment on caption:
"Psst, Captioneers... Nobody has used 'spruce themselves up' yet." [James Lennox]
Yep, next time I mightn't try to spin it, Anon. Vanilla re-used captions get more votes.
8:42pm
comment on caption:
"Psst, Captioneers... Nobody has used 'spruce themselves up' yet." [James Lennox]
Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
2:13am
comment on caption:
"Psst, Captioneers... Nobody has used 'spruce themselves up' yet." [James Lennox]
I hear you, Karyn. Normally if I re-use a past caption I try to put a different spin on it, but this often falls horribly flat. Maybe instead I might try doing as Dave Bryan once suggested is necessary, and abandon all integrity![wink](/core/images/smilies/wink.gif)
8:10am
comment on caption:
"Psst, Captioneers... Nobody has used 'spruce themselves up' yet." [James Lennox]
We're waiting for you.
8:15am
comment on caption:
"Psst, Captioneers... Nobody has used 'spruce themselves up' yet." [James Lennox]
All good, Dave. I'll commit to it for a week or so. Sadly the witch, toilet, tree, parrot picture didn't remind me of too many past captions![smilie face](/core/images/smilies/smile.gif)
8:22am
comment on caption:
"Psst, Captioneers... Nobody has used 'spruce themselves up' yet." [James Lennox]
Don't worry, I'll up vote another cow.
8:30am
comment on caption:
"Psst, Captioneers... Nobody has used 'spruce themselves up' yet." [James Lennox]
Don't know how relevant this reference is. If there's a better suggestion than the Radfords I'd welcome it.
8:06pm
comment on caption:
"Oh crap. We had to pick a flight with the Radford family on it." [James Lennox]