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| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 85 | 16 | 41 | #13 | 21 | 75 | #3 | 5738 | 15655 | #17 |
| Photos | 25 | 9 | #7 | 10 | #5 | 324 | 792 | #6 | ||
| Comments | 14 | 3 | 5 | #4 | 7 | 6 | #4 | 1097 | 1700 | #3 |
| Forum Posts | 2 | 53 | ||||||||
| Suggested Edits | 2 | 1 | #3 | 19 | 26 | #3 | ||||
| Tips | 1 | 2 | #1 | 1 | 2 | #9 | ||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
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| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 46 | #7 | 34 | #13 | 9152 | #26 |
| Photos | 5 | #10 | 7 | #7 | 845 | #21 |
| Comments | 5 | #1 | 8 | #4 | 1854 | #5 |
| Forum Posts | ||||||
| Suggested Edits | 3 | #1 | 21 | #2 | ||
| Tips | 1 | #4 | ||||
captions
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18/01/24 8:12:29, edited: 15/03/24 18:17:37 |
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Many congratulations, James - blooming marvellous! --Molly R
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01/09/23 20:02:48, edited: 15/03/24 18:19:32 |
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Love your caption James. You're gonna need a bigger vote 😉 --Dot Old
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"This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence." 18/07/21 12:55:41 |
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Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
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10/01/24 8:33:06 |
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Hahahahahaha. That's hilarious! You've made me choke on my toast. --Vivvy En
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23/03/19 8:46:34 |
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Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me! --The Wolf
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22/01/19 8:22:17 |
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Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
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*Ding* 13/01/23 12:10:08, edited: 13/01/23 12:31:58 |
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I agree with KT A. This is a killer. --Dave Bryan
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"Bloody typical," muttered Dave. "I just paid £25 for mine." 20/01/24 12:10:18 |
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This public gathering is just asking to get Corona. 12/05/20 8:16:32 |
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Looks like the shit's hit the van. 16/07/23 8:23:55 |
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"Lord Vader, the Rebels are attacking. Perhaps you should change out of your pyjamas." 27/12/22 20:01:39 |
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18/06/22 8:00:31 |
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Cheers for the congrats, guys. I think I was lucky to pip Tony's one, so I'm very glad he got a 2nd place prize. A big cheer out to the caption.me contributors who have made this extra prize possible. And, as always, many thanks to Chris for the... --James Lennox
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17/03/22 8:01:22 |
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09/03/21 12:35:25 |
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...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson
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28/04/20 20:23:57 |
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First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
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...followed closely by 12 disciples, a horde of Romans, and the Benny Hill theme music. 01/05/24 12:06:27, edited: 01/05/24 13:38:16, |
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13/11/23 8:01:26 |
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Nice one ... It took me a while --John Glover
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29/04/23 8:05:06 |
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"Disaster here in the Paralympic eventing course as Wu Chan's wheelchair refuses to take that jump." 01/12/22 20:07:31 |
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"Gosh darn it," said Davy-Bob. "Nobody told me you could reload them." 12/12/21 12:08:44 |
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Javelins should only be thrown outdoors. 03/02/20 12:00:41 |
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The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance. --Willie Johnson
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05/02/24 8:01:50, edited: 05/02/24 8:21:59 |
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15/10/23 20:13:01 |
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Best Captioneer a few weeks in a row and The Wolf gets all cocky. 28/09/23 20:17:44 |
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Yea I wanna C a Camel toe. --Karen McDonald
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I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet. 17/11/20 9:17:11 |
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The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. 31/07/20 8:09:57 |
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21/03/24 12:00:40 |
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Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children. 16/09/22 12:00:35 |
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Usually, they're called parents. --Glyn Evans
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"Perfect, my last batch was a little on the dark side." 29/03/22 20:28:20 |
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"I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits." 06/04/21 12:26:41 |
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"Yes, but I don't think Nancy is the right monkey for you on this trip, Joan," said Percy. :^) --Crunchy Chords
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Harold always believed the son shone out of his arse. 27/08/20 8:00:40 |
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If dodos had been better jugglers they wouldn't be extinct. 08/02/20 12:00:17 |
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21/05/19 12:00:27 |
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It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well. 01/03/19 20:13:39 |
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The Four Riders of the Alpacalypse 14/01/24 8:17:49 |
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17/08/23 20:05:32, edited: 17/08/23 20:06:03 |
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"Hang on, mum, we haven't tied the string round Billy's bad tooth yet." 18/12/22 20:43:09 |
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...and who can forget Dave's final words: 27/04/21 20:40:05 |
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"Pssst! Word of advice. Some Russians might take offence to this as they might see it as an insult to their National animal, however I know that you're talking about it's actual state of being. If you're urinal cake is glowing a funny colour o... --Glyn Evans
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27/11/20 8:36:38 |
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😂😂😂 I’ve since looked at a Kiwi bird on Images and now it all makes sense and it’s a brilliant caption. I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw what the Kiwi bird looked like. I am going to lol this caption because it’s funny and clev... --Karen Oakenfull
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Nobody makes better balloon animals than Dave. 29/09/20 20:15:41 |
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Always start with a blowfish --Al Overy
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Giving up smoking, diary entry day 23: Either I'm starting to hallucinate or my wife is a bitch. 03/03/19 20:47:18 |
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No she’s not, she menthol 🙃 --Karen Oakenfull
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29/03/24 21:30:50, edited: 29/03/24 21:32:27 |
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09/03/24 8:06:15, edited: 09/03/24 8:07:26 |
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--Chris Beach
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04/03/24 20:09:39 |
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"It was either this or pineapple." 24/02/24 20:04:31 |
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16/01/24 8:16:36 |
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30/12/23 12:11:12 |
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"I thought after 80 years he'd have forgiven me for eating his porridge!" 29/09/23 8:05:07, edited: 29/09/23 8:12:23 |
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"I'm sure we've met, but I'm sorry, my short term memory is terrible." 22/09/23 8:03:59 |
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16/11/22 20:01:07, edited: 16/11/22 20:01:48 |
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"So God created Adam in His own image, which, strangely, was that of a 70s pornstar." 07/05/22 13:28:08 |
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14/12/20 8:05:11 |
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Barbie hasn't changed much in the last 60 years. Ken on the other hand ... 24/11/20 8:17:40 |
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Well that's interesting and disturbing Willie. I bet Ken's namesake had a fun childhood growing up as the kid who has a penis-less incestuous plastic doll named after him. --James Lennox
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Always buy your catnip from a trusted source. 08/09/20 14:23:56 |
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Looks like the match went to sudden death. 17/07/19 8:30:33 |
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"j.vxd tyuiojkmn njy s[l; hj jggt jhb v rstdebg" 21/04/24 22:46:59 |
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"Ok, girls, now our husbands have gone, let's put away the Tupperware and bring out the vibrators." 22/02/24 20:01:42, edited: 23/02/24 5:26:55, |
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This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put. --Scrijjy Doo
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01/02/24 20:07:16 |
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"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FLYING THAT SLEIGH YOU FAT BASTARD!!" 24/12/23 20:05:41 |
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07/11/23 8:04:00 |
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"And here's 4,999 I prepared earlier." 11/08/23 20:20:11 |
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10/08/23 20:47:41 |
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I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what's down under when you're Down Under. --Stephen Bean
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"Are you going to take the train, Dave?" 18/06/23 8:03:56 |
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"The worst thing about Great Floods," moaned God. "Is having to dry everything afterwards." 04/06/23 12:01:22 |
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01/01/23 20:00:20 |
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09/11/22 12:00:44 |
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What the hell is Sambuchino, and why is throwing it at gnomes a good defence? 31/08/22 8:10:06 |
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09/07/22 8:00:27 |
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"That's OK, you're swimming in our septic tank." 19/05/22 8:02:06 |
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08/10/21 8:08:37 |
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"Sorry to intrude, but could I please have my rubber bone back?" 19/07/21 8:07:59 |
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Sadly, none of the gospels recorded Jesus's performance of YMCA. 23/04/21 12:12:14 |
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Described by critics as 'rather wooden'. --Karyn Harrison
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22/03/21 8:04:11 |
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US politics are insane, General Lee speaking. 24/01/21 8:06:09 |
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12/04/20 8:01:39 |
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"... and then he took his shirt off and things started to get weird." 09/04/20 20:40:08 |
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No animals were harmed during the making of this picture, but some were highly pissed off. 25/03/20 8:07:25 |
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"No animals were harmed" - just someone's dignity. --Willie Johnson
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"Ok Dave, you create a diversion while I steal the mini." 09/01/20 12:14:25 |
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05/12/19 8:04:18 |
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02/09/19 8:57:49 |
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"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip." 05/03/19 12:24:57 |
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15/02/19 20:16:18 |
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18/04/24 12:16:16 |
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"One wonders if she spreads easily." 09/03/24 20:07:56 |
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No, that's her sister, Flora. --Karyn Harrison
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19/02/24 20:15:33 |
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Dave was rubbish at picking up girls. 31/12/23 20:19:41, edited: 01/01/24 8:03:59 |
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"Yeah, sex with him is dry, boring, and one sided, but for some reason it does keep my thrush away." 12/12/23 8:24:39 |
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"Jeez, I could murder a grandma ... I mean, a kebab." 07/12/23 8:13:13, edited: 07/12/23 8:28:15 |
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Ha, you've got me wondering now whether murder a grandma is funnier. It's nice having the double 'gr' sound though. --Stephen Bean
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12/10/23 20:17:35 |
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13/08/23 20:31:47 |
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"Any last words, sir?" 04/06/23 20:52:29, edited: 04/06/23 20:55:29 |
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The did say his sentence would be suspended. --Tony S
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And in Dublin, the annual 'Swap you Wife for a Keg of Guinness' promotion kicks off. 04/05/23 8:01:19 |
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22/03/23 12:11:18 |
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"Hmmn, do you reckon we should put the 'Out of Order' sign at the bottom or the top?" 06/03/23 12:29:17 |
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"I think I'm gonna find a new Best Man, Dave. This Stag Do sucks." 09/02/23 12:17:23 |
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Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide. 15/01/23 20:18:34 |
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Careful about giving in to the urge to make a banana pun. It's a slippery slope. --Willie Johnson
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03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07 |
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That poor dog :-D --Glyn Evans
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08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06 |
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08/05/22 13:53:13 |
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"On the plus side, my hemorrhoids are gone." 12/03/22 12:00:56 |
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suggested edits
email us
This is the version I like. Thank you for asking.
8:16am
comment on caption:
"Look, you're not fat, I just said that because you made fun of my hat." [James Lennox]
Nod to other Nutcrackers
8:06am
comment on caption:
Nutcracker Suit [James Lennox]
"Please, call me Jim."
2:04am
comment on caption:
"Hey! Stop playing with my balls, Mr. Henson!" [James Lennox]
Priceless, Scrijjy. I actually edited it from Jim, because I thought that was too familiar
8:18am
comment on caption:
"Hey! Stop playing with my balls, Mr. Henson!" [James Lennox]
Will leave mine as independant and took ages to write on my tiny phone, but a nod and vote to the entry that beat me by 50 odd seconds.
EDIT: A further explanation, as normally I'd just edit a dupe to something else:
I've reached that age where I refuse to get glasses and instead hold everything at arm's length, which means increasing my phone's resolution to roughly 10 pixels and seeing about 1 letter at a time. So, in my wisdom, some 5 minutes before posting this caption, I thought I'd just google the first few words, then get the quote neatly delivered to me, cut and paste, job done. Except the quote didn't appear so quickly, so I had to scroll through garbage to find it, and then... Has anyone tried cutting and pasting on their phone? Goddamn, what a nightmare, so I gave up, returned to caption.me, and began bashing out the quote, tediously.
Anyhoo, long story short, when I finally finished and posted, bugger me, there was the exact dupe one caption before me. And before I could do anything I got a vote, so, there you go, it remains, but in all honesty it was conceived of a long time before it appeared 😔
12:18pm
comment on caption:
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy." [James Lennox]
Woops, thanks Molly 😊
1:38pm
comment on caption:
...followed closely by 12 disciples, a horde of Romans, and the Benny Hill theme music. [James Lennox]
Makin' the Bacon!
3:54pm
comment on caption:
"Yes, Kevin, in this scene you will be playing chicken on a tractor, however..." [James Lennox]
Cheers, Steve. Was going for the double play on the pronunciation of potpourri being po, an outdated word for loo. I like yours, but quite different from my intention. May edit to it in a moment though
... And did, it was better than mine, cheers mate.
8:09am
comment on caption:
Poopourri [James Lennox]
Squeak for yourself!
8:17am
comment on caption:
"So then I said, the only reason we aren't as popular as cats on caption.me is that you can't inject a 'squeak' pun into 99% of captions." [James Lennox]
Purrfect response, Mark. Very amewsing. You've left me beyond catatonic. I'm actually having kittens
8:19am
comment on caption:
"So then I said, the only reason we aren't as popular as cats on caption.me is that you can't inject a 'squeak' pun into 99% of captions." [James Lennox]