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Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

"Sister, I've got your back."

25/11/22 12:01:06

Crispin Fisher Vote score: 119Crispin Fisher

Of course my teeth are chattering we've not had the heating on all month.

18/11/22 21:17:35

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

"Tell me doctor, what did the scan show?"

"Hmm... Can you drive a minibus?"

18/11/22 8:03:34

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

Backseat divers.

13/11/22 12:14:58, edited: 13/11/22 12:17:16

John Harrison Vote score: 10758John Harrison

"This is gonna take for ever. Tight sod could have bought easy-peelers!"

11/11/22 20:59:55

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

My dog is so polite - he minds his pees and queues.

11/11/22 8:04:16

Paul Gledhill Vote score: 3745Paul Gledhill

There's the squirrel making an ass out of himself again!

08/11/22 20:00:11

Max Jennings Vote score: 62Max Jennings

‘Do you think we set the electric collar wattage a little too high this time?’

07/11/22 12:17:10

Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 18031Scrijjy Doo

"Are the earrings too much?"

02/11/22 20:06:09

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

“Have you considered changing your name, Neil?”

02/11/22 12:05:10

James Lennox Vote score: 25953James Lennox

"Nah, that's rubbish," said Walt Disney. "Let's try dogs and spaghetti."

01/11/22 8:00:55, edited: 01/11/22 8:04:08

Disney are really cutting corners with their live action remakes. --Mark Cowling
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

Seconds later he was Schwepped away.

29/10/22 8:33:52

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16386Hercules Rockefeller

The Crying Game

28/10/22 7:02:34

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

Wok T F ??

24/10/22 7:10:16

Ethy Vote score: 2744Ethy

Braking and entering

23/10/22 21:04:43

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"It'll do. Pub?"

22/10/22 11:20:41

So, that's where you've been! ;) --Al Overy
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16386Hercules Rockefeller

Lawn of the Dead

20/10/22 7:01:21

John Harrison Vote score: 10758John Harrison

It was a simple system. If there was a pair left, they'd start dredging the pool.

19/10/22 8:42:15

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

When Rav started his sponsored plank, his friends were inclined to support.

18/10/22 11:25:49

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

"Coca cola's in the next aisle, mate!"

18/10/22 7:00:53

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

"Dave, you've got to help, the neighbours have put up magnetic wall paper!"

17/10/22 19:00:29

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

A brush with Death

13/10/22 11:01:56

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

It must have been painful judging by all the Groening.

09/10/22 11:31:06

James Lennox Vote score: 25953James Lennox

"Sure, it stings now, but you'll thank me when you're grown up and immune to jellyfish."

06/10/22 11:04:54, edited: 06/10/22 11:13:33

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

Kitty Kitty Bang Bang

05/10/22 7:00:14

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

"So do you fight crime?"
"No, I just shit in people's gardens."

03/10/22 19:10:12

Paul Wharton Vote score: 200Paul Wharton

Unfortunately the directions Sue was given went right over her head.

02/10/22 19:42:12

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8843Crunchy Chords
She only married him because hes loaded.

01/10/22 19:08:47, edited: 10/11/22 21:49:34

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42661Tony Edwards

I think it's about time they changed their underplants.

01/10/22 11:27:41

vincent hefter Vote score: 1400vincent hefter

Bless her, she's certainly got daddy's eyes and I'm pretty sure those are mummy's legs..

26/09/22 19:00:18

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

"I hate flipping stairs."

20/09/22 11:18:20

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

Their relationship has really blossomed.

19/09/22 11:00:14

vincent hefter Vote score: 1400vincent hefter

Damn! A camper van than mine!

18/09/22 7:00:23

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42661Tony Edwards

The Hound of the Basketvilles

13/09/22 9:02:48

Nigel Marshall Vote score: 2161Nigel Marshall

Archaeologists uncover Mr Potato Heads ancestors

03/09/22 7:06:00

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

The Journey to the Centre of the Earth just got a whole lot easier.

15/08/22 19:00:20

You will struggle to find an Actor for the leading role as good as James Mason. --Neil Mackenzie
Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

Foreword by Carrie Johnson.

15/08/22 11:00:09

🌟 Nice 1 --Craig Eddsenior
James Lennox Vote score: 25953James Lennox

When she sobered up, Rose suddenly wished for an iceberg.

10/08/22 13:16:38

Mark England Vote score: 24081Mark England

"Tiddles want salmon"

"But it's 15 quid"

"TIDDLES WANT SALMON"

"OK Tiddles"

04/08/22 11:04:34

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

''If only I'd read the label,'' thought Dave, as he removed the garment from the roof rack.

01/08/22 11:10:14

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

Underdog

31/07/22 7:32:23

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

Playing with fire

25/07/22 11:45:22

Craig Eddsenior Vote score: 2415Craig Eddsenior

Much kneaded rest.

24/07/22 7:04:13

Sheila  Graham Vote score: 443Sheila Graham

The glass is always greener on the other side.

16/07/22 19:38:39

Vivvy En Vote score: 16840Vivvy En

Best buds. Their relationship has really blossomed.

13/07/22 19:23:23

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

''Don't raise your hopes, kid. I've already been here ten years.''

11/07/22 11:36:51

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

Memory Lane

06/07/22 11:06:24

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

"I'm sorry, George, we'll have to let you go. I just don't feel you're taking this undertaker's job seriously."

03/07/22 19:00:11

He'll have to undertake another job. --Willie Johnson
Vivvy En Vote score: 16840Vivvy En

'Fetch!? In these heels? You must be kidding.'

30/06/22 19:17:07

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

♪ These boots are made for walkies ♪

30/06/22 19:00:06

Leroy Brown Vote score: 8188Leroy Brown

There are easier ways to tell your parents that you are gay.

30/06/22 11:24:54

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

"I like to keep my home squeaky clean."

28/06/22 8:37:10

Leroy Brown Vote score: 8188Leroy Brown

Boris Becker's frozen assets.

25/06/22 19:10:45

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

It started as a ruff sketch.

24/06/22 19:20:04

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

''Type this, Jane: Outgoing male - likes walking and fetching sticks - WLTM dominant female who enjoys taking the lead.''

22/06/22 11:24:43

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

Rumour had it that a giant lived here but it was just a tall storey.

20/06/22 11:02:58

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

Airboats are becoming increasingly popular despite many experts saying they would never take off.

18/06/22 19:24:00

Troompa Loompa Vote score: 24530Troompa Loompa

When Berlusconi got done for sex with an underage prostitute they threw the book at him. This is his wife choosing the book.

17/06/22 19:48:55

Leroy Brown Vote score: 8188Leroy Brown

Dental In-plants

17/06/22 7:55:08

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

Major Tom

06/06/22 7:00:10

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24957Vanessa the Guesser

"I'm boiling in this suit!"

01/06/22 19:18:07

Mark England Vote score: 24081Mark England

"Who's left skidmarks on the sheets?"

24/05/22 19:03:34

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 16230Neil Mackenzie

Only Dave could get his head stuck in a non stick pan.

21/05/22 19:09:20

Tony S Vote score: 12807Tony S

I sh1t in baseball caps so we are even.

19/05/22 7:06:54

James Lennox Vote score: 25953James Lennox

Later that evening...

🙁🥴😠🤮

18/05/22 7:27:06

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

Happily, fashion has made some great strides since then.

13/05/22 19:00:08

James Lennox Vote score: 25953James Lennox

"Chris Beach certainly has an eclectic record collection."

"Yes, but my gut says there's some subtle common theme..."

13/05/22 13:37:30

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24957Vanessa the Guesser

"Get down, Shep!"

11/05/22 11:05:13

Sorry Vanessa, just missed voting. Great caption.  --Stephen Bean
Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

BREAKING - World leaders delighted as Putin steps down.

09/05/22 19:00:09

Zak Toby1998 Vote score: 2415Zak Toby1998

"I just spotted some ridiculous hare in the mirror"
"Well wear a hat or get it cut, Donald"

08/05/22 19:03:49

Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19939Dan Nicholls

I said to leave it 10 minutes.

03/05/22 11:11:51

I think it's dun. --Willie Johnson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24957Vanessa the Guesser

My Big Fat Greek Mythology Wedding

30/04/22 19:05:44

Tony S Vote score: 12807Tony S

For years I was obese with a large tummy but it's all behind me now.

28/04/22 19:19:47

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

"Poor Harry, I warned him not to fly too close to the engine. Still, I might get a few bob for his broomstick."

20/04/22 11:00:51

Al Overy Vote score: 22017Al Overy

"Pass me a pencil!"

"For the crossword?"

"...erm, yeah..."

16/04/22 19:00:54

He should soon be passing a pencil himself. --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

Kremlins 2: The New Batch

12/04/22 19:48:29

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35246Ian Skelding

24 hours earlier:
“Celia, would you be OK with me painting you in the nude?”

06/04/22 11:00:10

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

"Why do I always have to go in goal?"

05/04/22 19:01:08

Dave E Vote score: 1009Dave E

“Look, I’m sorry! … but you DID ask, and it does look big.”

01/04/22 11:19:59

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

"Are you OK to hold madam, I've got one or two others waiting for the meter reading department"

01/04/22 7:22:35

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

We need to do a sound check, ladies:

CAN YOU ALL HEAR ME?

31/03/22 7:08:19

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35246Ian Skelding

“May divorce be with you.”

08/03/22 20:10:38

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

The wife spends most of her day laying in the bath

03/03/22 12:11:33

Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 18031Scrijjy Doo

"Nobody wears the same dress as me!"

25/02/22 22:27:30

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

Building sight

21/02/22 8:20:55

stoneface1 Vote score: 1936stoneface1

"What's he do for a living?"

"He's a bouncer."

19/02/22 20:43:31

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35246Ian Skelding

“Must be a puncture somewhere, I can hear a strange breathy sound.”

18/02/22 20:00:16

It's the Imperial Breath March. --Glad You Remember
Tony Edwards Vote score: 42661Tony Edwards

"Am I there yet, dad?"

14/02/22 12:12:28

I like this one. It's "New-Yorker-Caption Style": First, you pick up a cliche with your right hand ("Are we there yet, dad"). Then, you pick up the novel situation with your LEFT hand (a kid driving a car). And you look carefully at the clich... --Greg Curtis
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean

Bathroom scales

14/02/22 8:02:05

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40286Dave Bryan

''If you would like to go out with me, Gollum, give me a ring next week.''

10/02/22 20:18:02

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"HEY, Kurt Zouma, yeah I thought it was you. Listen, we don't normally like cats, but even we think you're a prick!"

10/02/22 8:00:12

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35246Ian Skelding

“I know it makes us look busy but I do think we should call the Coroner now.”

09/02/22 8:07:03

Mark England Vote score: 24081Mark England

"So this horsey thing can take the king?"
"No"
"Can this castle move this way?"
"No"
"What about this cardinal?"
"Fuck this, get out the Snakes and Ladders"

03/02/22 8:59:39

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52532Stephen Bean







.

25/01/22 12:00:16

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35246Ian Skelding

Croc of shit

13/01/22 8:01:37

John  Glover Vote score: 23223John Glover

"Don't get her too stoned, we don't want her fast asleep when prince Andrew arrives."

09/01/22 13:59:04

Greg Curtis Vote score: 9504Greg Curtis

"Okay, anyone ELSE object?..."

09/01/22 9:39:06

Yes! --Glyn Evans
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 18031Scrijjy Doo

CAN'T YOU READ?!

05/01/22 20:01:08

Charles Gilbert Vote score: 1457Charles Gilbert

Another overly dramatic post.

04/01/22 20:45:44

It's going to be one of those overly long tell all death sequences where an important secret's revealed that may bring untold fortunes and then you realise that you're bolted to the floor and you'll have to lug their body with you if you want ... --Glyn Evans
stoneface1 Vote score: 1936stoneface1

Looks fizzically impossible..

24/12/21 8:12:30

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