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Ian Searle Vote score: 3155Ian Searle

Moments later two more crows turned up. Police suspect it was an attempted murder.

09/10/24 7:23:21

Lara Holly Vote score: 2359Lara Holly

Clash of the Tartans

21/09/24 11:10:00

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15723Chris Keegan

"Did you see the game last night?"
- "No, I fell asleep watching it"

12/08/24 11:05:19

Good one. Look at them all: one, two, three [*SNORE*]... --Greg Curtis
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Tom Cruise

12/07/24 7:00:57

This contest is over. --Scrijjy Doo
Jo Vote score: 4688Jo

Using the power of positive thinking to see the cup as half full rather than half empty

28/06/24 11:13:35

Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

Doctors warn of deadly new shingles outbreak.

21/06/24 7:03:24

James Lennox Vote score: 25860James Lennox

Ideal for preventing skid marks.

24/05/24 7:01:21, edited: 24/05/24 7:15:24

Please go ahead.  --Paul Gledhill
Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

The artist formally known as Prints.

15/05/24 19:01:27

John Harrison Vote score: 10733John Harrison

"For Christ sake Dave, can't we just have regular sex like all the other pigeons?"

12/05/24 7:04:42

I think Dave's been watching Fifty Shades of Grey. --Karyn Harrison
Karyn Harrison Vote score: 13863Karyn Harrison

Key worker

11/05/24 7:00:31

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Knitwork Rail

10/05/24 11:01:52

C CaMel Vote score: 19599C CaMel

“That email’s still doing the rounds.”

06/05/24 11:21:41

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Tykewondo

08/04/24 11:11:07

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Wed Nose Day

Nod to 8:21:15

05/04/24 7:23:38, edited: 05/04/24 7:38:26

C CaMel Vote score: 19599C CaMel

“Are you saying you want to split the bill?”

01/04/24 11:09:57

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

Sabbath

31/03/24 7:16:35

Vivvy En Vote score: 16782Vivvy En

When you wish you hadn't forgotten your wallet

25/03/24 12:02:10

Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

I'm careful not to drop them as I hate pulp fiction.

25/03/24 8:14:26

Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

"When you said you'd bought a suit for a pound..."

17/03/24 12:18:23

C CaMel Vote score: 19599C CaMel

“I think a few men may have gone there before.”

12/03/24 12:06:18

Dot Old Vote score: 3178Dot Old

You can follow her on Mammogram

08/03/24 12:17:14

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

Tool Hand Luke

07/03/24 20:20:33

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

''Well done, lads, we've got that mouse surrounded.''

29/02/24 12:06:11

Vivvy En Vote score: 16782Vivvy En

Sometimes, you just need to treat yourself to some new boots.

22/02/24 8:07:10

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35219Ian Skelding

Earth a Kit

18/02/24 20:32:16

🎵 I want an old fashioned mouse...................... --Dave Bryan
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Parking up the wrong tree

11/02/24 20:02:12

Just out of interest, which tree is the right one? --Mr Dome
Ian Skelding Vote score: 35219Ian Skelding

“Pasture bedtime isn’t it?”

10/02/24 8:15:37

James Lennox Vote score: 25860James Lennox

It's awful when you unpack the Christmas tree and suddenly realise why Mr. Tibbles went missing a year earlier.

05/02/24 8:01:50, edited: 05/02/24 8:21:59

Karen McDonald Vote score: 6695Karen McDonald

He's always on the lookout for a Crinkly Bottom.

29/01/24 12:02:52

Karen McDonald Vote score: 6695Karen McDonald

"Hi Aled? yeah, can't make it today, car won't start."

26/01/24 8:09:04

This just keeps getting funnier, have a supervote --Vivvy En
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 6396Kenny Ireland

Land of the rising son.

19/01/24 20:24:09

Karen McDonald Vote score: 6695Karen McDonald

Down tools.

13/01/24 12:00:58

Jo Vote score: 4688Jo

A big fan of sausages

10/01/24 21:49:25

Haha, this is hilarious! --Kevin Thomas
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Purple Reign

04/01/24 8:04:07

Phil Swan Vote score: 7632Phil Swan

Unfortunately for Davina the pin the donkey game had not gone well

23/12/23 8:10:01

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Ash in the Attic

13/12/23 12:01:27

Looking for entiques? --John Glover
John Harrison Vote score: 10733John Harrison

Well that's Prince Andrew's Christmas present sorted.

08/12/23 20:02:54

C CaMel Vote score: 19599C CaMel

“Guys, when I said put me down….”

02/12/23 8:05:30

Mark England Vote score: 24078Mark England

Booby Trapped

24/11/23 8:09:50

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20098Mr Dome

- What's on the TV tonight kids?
- Two shit ornaments and a clock, dad

23/11/23 5:47:02

This is funny. Originally, I thought the same as Anon, that the "dad" was redundant. I also didn't vote for the caption as it was a joke I'd heard a few times before. But now I know the reason for the inclusion of "dad", and the caption's self awaren --James Lennox
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16347Hercules Rockefeller

Mocking bird

17/11/23 12:03:40

John Harrison Vote score: 10733John Harrison

French Nickers

06/11/23 20:08:20

C CaMel Vote score: 19599C CaMel

When your parents run the scout group.

30/10/23 8:10:48

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

Sweeping Beauty

29/10/23 20:03:08

At least, it's a stable job. --John Glover
Phil Swan Vote score: 7632Phil Swan

“They said they couldn’t do me a 99 but could do a 57” said Dave

28/10/23 19:11:26

Karen McDonald Vote score: 6695Karen McDonald

"Hello Unicorn, God here. Could you pop back through, I haven't quite finished."

28/10/23 7:25:57

James Lennox Vote score: 25860James Lennox

"Ok, so the sawing in half bit could have gone better, and I'm sorry the rabbit didn't make it, but anyway ... TA DAA!!"

15/10/23 19:13:01

Karen McDonald Vote score: 6695Karen McDonald

"The brakes! use the brakes!"
"I can't, my toenails aren't dry yet."

12/10/23 7:55:54

Mark England Vote score: 24078Mark England

"I swear if I catch you swinging past my daughter's bedroom again I'll...."

30/09/23 11:02:06, edited: 02/10/23 11:45:50, suggested edits

James Lennox Vote score: 25860James Lennox

Best Captioneer a few weeks in a row and The Wolf gets all cocky.

28/09/23 19:17:44

Yea I wanna C a Camel toe. --Karen McDonald
Mark England Vote score: 24078Mark England

"John and Paul. The tune's great but could we tweak the lyrics?"

13/09/23 19:03:13

Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

She had several number ones. Sadly, they were on the carpet.

24/08/23 8:45:17

Bad Girl! --Karyn Harrison
C CaMel Vote score: 19599C CaMel

Global warming blamed for cancellation of Disney on Ice.

21/08/23 12:00:24

Everyone knows that Global Warming will happen one day because Mickey will loose control of those bucket carrying brooms again. However it won't be a flooded castle basement this time. --Glyn Evans
Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

Rhea of the Year

18/08/23 11:00:28

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

''Darling, I think you should take a break from donating blood.''

02/08/23 7:03:39

Vivvy En Vote score: 16782Vivvy En

The Lord certainly does move in a mysterious way

01/08/23 19:09:17

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

''If you ask me, the council spoils those binmen.''

24/07/23 11:03:14

Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

"Can he be cured, Doctor?"

12/07/23 7:05:27

Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

Justin was a terrible roll model.

29/06/23 11:06:24

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24950Vanessa the Guesser

William Don't Tell

17/06/23 11:01:48

Greg Curtis Vote score: 9503Greg Curtis

"Then I had this strange, autobody experience."

16/06/23 8:54:54

Tony S Vote score: 12755Tony S

"My turn."

10/06/23 11:01:55

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20098Mr Dome

£50

Ah here it is,  How to be a Tennis Umpire

05/06/23 7:22:18

Hello All. Thanks for all the very funny comments 😁. I actually was on here about 6am this morning voting and never noticed I'd won. I only realised when I an email that I'd been sent some money from Chris which is very kind thank you. I would prefer --Mr Dome
John Harrison Vote score: 10733John Harrison

Loo Ferrigno

16/05/23 11:00:51

Paul Hair Vote score: 4604Paul Hair

The Lunch Back of Notre-Dame

12/05/23 7:14:21

Mr Toad Vote score: 2088Mr Toad

“… so I said ”Give me your treadmill or I’ll rearrange your face”.

08/05/23 11:23:49

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

Another half-arsed idea

27/04/23 7:03:31

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15723Chris Keegan

BREAKING: Doctors are accused of not taking strike action seriously.

11/04/23 19:00:13

Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

The moment when you realise that's not a Mars Bar floating towards you...

10/04/23 11:01:50

KimJong Pun Vote score: 706KimJong Pun

The great wall of china.

05/04/23 19:34:11

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

Dave and Lucy were inconsolable after witnessing their Corgi being drowned by a random Alsatian.

04/03/23 9:39:08

KimJong Pun Vote score: 706KimJong Pun

Aunty freeze.

03/03/23 22:10:55

KT A Vote score: 12856KT A

Just enter your pin now

01/03/23 8:04:39

KimJong Pun Vote score: 706KimJong Pun

Joseph and his technicolour dream cod.

27/02/23 20:08:56

Or he could make a technicolour bream coat... --Mark Cowling
Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

''I don't like this cheese, dad. Where's The Laughing Cow?''

''Your mother will be home later.''

23/02/23 12:28:11

Julia Kinsey Vote score: 2549Julia Kinsey

Free gift with your AA membership

22/02/23 8:03:14

C CaMel Vote score: 19599C CaMel

It’s a nightmare when they fall out.

03/02/23 8:26:01

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

The circle of lifers

29/01/23 20:00:10

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35219Ian Skelding

“Look at that, Jesus in a tunnel.”

22/01/23 12:01:28, edited: 22/01/23 12:15:40

vincent hefter Vote score: 1400vincent hefter

Game of two halves.

22/01/23 8:00:15

John Harrison Vote score: 10733John Harrison

Ski Sundae

16/01/23 12:00:13

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

The Towel and the Pussycat

14/12/22 20:00:40

Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 3954Karen Oakenfull

“What shampoo do you use?”
“Shoulders.”

08/12/22 20:04:27

Craig Eddsenior Vote score: 2415Craig Eddsenior

Jim isn't insane for hoarding so many magazines but he does have a lot of issues.

03/12/22 20:09:09

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

BREAKING

French step up security on Calais coast.

17/11/22 8:01:05

stoneface1 Vote score: 1936stoneface1

"Dad! Can we put the heating on now?"

13/11/22 8:00:56, edited: 13/11/22 8:01:55

Hey StonefaceI realise that the whole anon thing rubs up people the wrong way sometimes but having a nickname is also technically being anon, unless I'm sorry and that's your real name. Unfortunately you've got to allow ... --Glyn Evans
John Harrison Vote score: 10733John Harrison

Dave's wife was just relieved she hadn't gone away for the full week.

05/11/22 8:00:42

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Somewhere near her ankles.

04/11/22 8:15:14

stoneface1 Vote score: 1936stoneface1

The waterjump at this year's Grand National was criticised for being too deep. Here's jockey, Fintan O'Shortpants, giving the thumbs up that he's ok. No news yet, on the horse he's sitting on.

28/10/22 11:08:43, edited: 28/10/22 17:58:34

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

"Yes, that's the Fokker that scratched my car."

24/10/22 11:09:38

Kate B Vote score: 12856Kate B

On the German National Grid, many Hans make light work.

08/10/22 11:02:10

Tony S Vote score: 12755Tony S

"Don't worry love the twins are fine."

03/10/22 11:12:21

Haven't got any bonus votes to give you, but this is very creative and funny!  --Kate B
Kate B Vote score: 12856Kate B

The perfect office chair for a dead end job.

25/09/22 7:05:20

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40258Dave Bryan

''Nightingale?''

''No, I'm going to the pictures after dinner.''

15/09/22 7:03:57, edited: 15/09/22 7:07:29

I once went out with a girl named Gayle. She had a terrible wind problem. --James Lennox
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Man impersonating Chris Beach makes a hasty exit from caption.me headquarters after sending thousands of spicy messages.

08/09/22 7:37:19, edited: 08/09/22 7:38:57

Brilliant! Got me back again though 😂 --Ethy
Al Overy Vote score: 22013Al Overy

As Nan got older, we gradually reduced the size of the hurdles to avoid injury.

29/06/22 19:00:14

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35219Ian Skelding

“Why are you selling your stuffed Mouse?”
“He just stands there collecting dust.”

28/06/22 7:14:37

Mark England Vote score: 24078Mark England

No one is talking about the elephant in the room

30/05/22 7:44:43

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52459Stephen Bean

Red Dwarf

24/04/22 19:21:16

Tony S Vote score: 12755Tony S

I got this to attack my worst enemy with but before I could unwrap it I found out he had been found dead , suffocated with a bag over his head.

11/02/22 8:13:13

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