| This Week | All Time | |||||
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| Captions | 5 | 8 | #29 | 1038 | 1732 | #75 |
| Comments | 1 | 1 | #6 | 28 | 21 | #74 |
Joe
signed up: 8 years ago
profile viewed: 0 time(s) this week
caption quota: 40
caption votes given since joining: 636
comment quota: 25
comment votes given since joining: 6
super vote quota: 33
Journalist in London, from Manchester originally
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02/05/19 14:04:27 |
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31/08/13 8:04:14 |
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21/07/13 9:05:15 |
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01/09/13 20:10:21 |
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Autocorrect can get really annoying 15/08/13 20:30:32 |
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08/03/14 10:09:35 |
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02/09/13 8:11:56 |
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'Is Ringo the best drummer in rock n roll?'John Lennon: 'He's not even the best drummer in the Beatles.' --Joe
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04/06/15 20:47:28 |
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The Katie Hopkins fan convention 2014 07/01/14 20:21:03 |
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Line him up, put him in a field, and bomb the bastard.(nod to the late great Kenny Everet) --John Glover
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06/10/13 21:33:20 |
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World's heaviest seagull lands on boy's head. 01/08/13 8:34:15 |
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"ËœWe're gonna need a bigger boat...' 26/04/19 8:54:20 |
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A bigger gravy boat more like. --Dan Nicholls
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After finally buying a computer, Alan was having problems burning his music collection onto discs. 16/10/13 9:05:01 |
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Alice wasn't too sure about this new diet candy floss 25/08/13 8:07:20 |
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Eric cringed as his mum and dad left for Parents' Evening 11/08/13 8:58:08 |
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Thanks - much appreciated --Joe
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Soon you will have to opt in to view pictures of hard-paw corn. 27/07/13 8:44:58 |
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25/07/13 9:42:30 |
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04/09/13 20:16:39 |
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04/02/21 21:02:30 |
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yeah, you're probably right... I've actually never tasted one... isn't that how AIDS got started? --Mauris Iocus
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26/06/19 13:15:09 |
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05/05/19 8:34:33 |
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27/04/19 22:46:37 |
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22/04/19 19:48:59 |
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17/02/21 21:35:53 |
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01/05/19 8:46:51 |
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Sorry - completely missed that when I scrolled through. I’ve voted yours up so you are higher up than me now --Joe
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12/06/17 21:28:40 |
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My privates are standing to attention 14/02/15 21:20:45 |
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The grow-your-own-punk kits were a success 19/10/13 8:25:22 |
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No problem. People can just pick their favourite of the two . --Joe
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16/09/13 20:26:45 |
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25/08/13 8:09:13 |
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09/08/13 8:05:06 |
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🎵 The wheels on the bus go down, down, down 🎵 30/07/13 13:58:48 |
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"ËœI'm more bashful than you' 10/04/21 20:08:03 |
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15/03/21 20:22:59 |
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Santa Claus is coming to town... 13/06/19 20:05:56 |
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16/05/19 20:43:05 |
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Subbuteo Water Polo never really took off 16/05/19 8:33:49 |
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Off she went with a humpity-hump... hump, hump, hump 07/03/16 21:53:15 |
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07/03/15 12:30:16 |
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14/10/13 20:21:49 |
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14/10/13 8:41:14 |
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We've been stuck here for hours - I blame the super polly grip 08/10/13 14:26:59 |
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01/09/13 20:08:37 |
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Right, we really need to nail this gang who are nicking police cars. 27/08/13 14:14:41 |
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11/08/13 12:58:34 |
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A nice sit down and a cup of... T in the Park 09/08/13 13:44:32 |
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05/08/13 14:13:22 |
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Thanks for your nice comment. I only joined a few weeks ago, so don't think I've seen your caption. It took me much longer than it should have to come up with it. --Joe
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Ironically, she couldn't find the spare tyre 05/08/13 8:12:43 |
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Male bears... female bears... I'll have them all - I'm bi-polar. 24/07/13 8:05:32 |
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Once again, vertical stripes have a slimming effect. 23/07/13 8:39:48 |
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Over the shoulder boulder holder 22/07/13 12:15:15 |
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Karma caught up with Alan after he ate a Polo 28/06/21 22:38:07 |
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18/05/21 20:22:45 |
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10/04/21 20:11:20 |
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Nothing like a head start. And I'm sure you'll be head and shoulders above the rest. --Willie Johnson
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22/03/21 20:09:11 |
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Get typing Billy... 21/03/21 8:43:25 |
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Haha, my favourite colour's purple but hoping I never have a big purple bottom! --Dot Old
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21/04/17 21:47:35 |
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20/10/16 21:53:05 |
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Why the smile? She's Saint Knickerless, and I'm no angel! 09/02/15 22:11:18 |
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09/01/15 20:26:44 |
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Looked in the book - can't find that position but it's worth a try. --Bad Boy Dennis.
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26/11/14 21:18:36 |
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19/11/13 14:24:35 |
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13/08/13 8:07:20 |
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13/07/13 19:04:27 |
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18/05/14 13:59:39 |
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16/10/13 21:40:02 |
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Is that a yellow overall or a big mac? 13/10/13 20:17:21 |
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He's definitely wearing Klingon pants 13/10/13 12:11:28 |
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07/10/13 8:13:03 |
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Is that the captain's log or are you just pleased to see me? 29/09/13 20:49:12 |
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Channel 4 accused of dumbing down the new series of Deal or no Deal 06/09/13 23:48:10 |
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I'd say he's raised the intellectual level of most contestants. --Chris Brooks
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A little less conversation a little more traction please 04/09/13 20:54:42 |
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30/08/13 22:35:45 |
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26/08/13 13:32:03 |
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After the Apple fell from the tree, he took time to ponder Newton's theory of gravity 21/08/13 13:54:29 |
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With hindsight, that is neater. Thanks --Joe
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18/08/13 10:47:58 |
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'1st word... Two syllables...' 08/08/13 20:16:18 |
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02/08/13 8:32:21 |
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16/07/13 18:22:10 |
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02/06/19 16:43:11 |
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Blankety-Blank was getting increasingly desperate towards the end of its run 24/05/19 16:49:11 |
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It was important to them that their dog had a roll at the wedding ceremony 01/05/19 13:50:06 |
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30/04/19 9:11:17 |
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15/02/17 21:02:11 |
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12/02/17 21:54:52 |
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Nice pair... Nice pair... Nice pair... Nice pair... 15/04/21 9:03:18 |
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Just next to Bacon is the grave of Dippyegg and the tomb of the Unknown Soldiers 11/04/21 13:04:44 |
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25/03/21 20:43:51 |
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The 40th anniversary series of Bullseye was hardly a ratings winner. 06/08/19 13:57:36 |
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23/07/19 13:36:15 |
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A long time ago in a church hall, available for hire for very reasonable rates, far, far away... 31/05/19 8:50:24 |
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27/05/19 20:03:35 |
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21/05/19 18:16:26 |
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Just the one, like. To calm the collie wobbles 29/04/19 9:00:45 |
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26/04/19 17:54:23 |
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Fancy a quickie? Head next door to Pony Express 17/04/19 18:06:20 |
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02/04/17 21:42:45 |
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What's happened to your face? It looks very Saw 26/02/17 22:10:55 |
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We shall Skype them on the beaches... 12/02/17 21:57:44 |
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17/08/16 22:15:11 |
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05/08/16 22:06:10 |
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I'll give you a piece of my mind! 13/04/15 21:58:46 |
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01/03/15 20:06:10 |
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Honda painted Matchstalk men and matchstalk cats and dogs 01/01/15 13:08:34 |
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30/12/14 20:49:32 |
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bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, Anne 18/11/14 21:16:51 |
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28/06/14 22:59:40 |
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Yep - paunch works better --Joe
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06/06/14 20:44:08 |
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04/06/14 21:35:40 |
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18/11/13 9:36:33 |
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18/10/13 9:50:07 |
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13/10/13 8:18:50 |
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The animated version of The Flumps was better 09/10/13 13:37:14 |
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Posey, Perkin & Pootle - even just their names put a smile on my face. --Joe
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'Pieces of eight' 08/10/13 14:26:16 |
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Captain! Pass me the ball. I'm unmarked on the right wing... 08/09/13 13:46:38 |
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07/09/13 9:59:32 |
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You look nothing like your brother Barry 05/09/13 22:58:12 |
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05/09/13 8:05:53 |
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29/08/13 21:22:51 |
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Barry potter and the order of the phoenix 27/08/13 22:45:54 |
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23/08/13 20:27:54 |
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Remember the Alamo... and to take your shoes off 19/08/13 21:30:21 |
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12/08/13 14:24:03 |
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10/08/13 8:25:26 |
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'My precious, my precious... No, not you love' 09/08/13 20:11:21 |
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06/08/13 21:10:02 |
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04/08/13 13:24:46 |
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02/08/13 21:31:30 |
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After many unsuccessful dates, it was Lisa's turn to stand some men up. 26/07/13 8:19:42 |
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25/07/13 20:14:37 |
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"ËœWhen you said "Ëœdrinks at the Savoy', this wasn't what I imagined.' 16/04/21 12:08:48 |
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This town ain't big enough for the one of us 12/04/21 20:26:09 |
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Oh no,I'm going to have to retriever again 09/06/20 23:03:38 |
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"ËœSorry, Andrea, I was sure you said you wanted a Kermit-ment ring' 21/11/19 19:55:07 |
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13/07/19 19:57:59 |
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11/05/19 14:41:21 |
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Connor regretted buying that magnetic watch 10/05/19 8:33:18 |
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12/06/17 21:25:37 |
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07/06/17 21:40:13 |
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23/10/16 23:05:03 |
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Everyone stay back. He's got a loaded Magnum! 30/08/16 21:07:00 |
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She was only 24, but already a spinster 05/04/16 21:57:52 |
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04/08/15 21:47:42 |
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04/06/15 20:49:21 |
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02/05/15 20:07:35 |
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21/04/15 21:32:11 |
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Alice always followed the No Feet On The Seats rule 08/03/15 12:51:37 |
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08/03/15 12:50:41 |
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01/03/15 20:07:14 |
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07/02/15 20:59:15 |
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13/06/14 6:10:42 |
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01/12/13 20:01:07 |
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18/11/13 13:34:42 |
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17/10/13 13:47:52 |
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15/10/13 8:00:56 |
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12/10/13 12:20:54 |
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08/10/13 19:57:05 |
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06/10/13 22:15:27 |
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Lassie Come Home... And bring me a burger and chips - I'm starving 01/10/13 8:06:21 |
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Dress down Friday at the Vatican was a partial success 04/09/13 8:12:32 |
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01/09/13 20:12:41 |
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Yes absolutely. A golden era for band names: Ned's Atomic Dustbin, James Dean Driving Experience, & Pop Will Eat Itself come to mind. Towards the thrash end of things, Napalm Death & Extreme Noise Terror were the top bands, with great names, but ... --Gordon Bannerman
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The Missus doesn't know I'm AC/DC 31/08/13 20:26:14 |
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31/08/13 8:09:04 |
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The casting for Man on a Wire wasn't going well 29/08/13 8:31:10 |
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28/08/13 9:07:28 |
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Skateboarding had helped bring shy Sammy out of his shell 20/08/13 8:32:10 |
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20/08/13 8:30:35 |
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17/08/13 20:38:57 |
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15/08/13 20:29:10 |
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What did you do in the Great War, daddy? 13/08/13 20:32:31 |
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Chessington World of Disappointment 08/08/13 8:20:06 |
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07/08/13 22:02:40 |
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After a few weeks the government realised their waterboarding technique needed some fine-tuning 06/08/13 13:56:56 |
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Proof that knitting and LSD don't mix: Knit one, Purl one, Drop one, tune in, turn on, drop out. 05/08/13 22:30:18 |
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Army assault courses ain't what they used to be 31/07/13 8:15:16 |
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28/07/13 13:27:17 |
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"Ah, finally, there it is", said Bono, "that thing that I've been looking for." --Michael Winner
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Just another Thorsday at school 23/07/13 17:30:46 |
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02/07/13 21:40:29 |
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I didn't like these albums at first, but they're real growers 13/06/14 6:01:25 |
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06/06/14 22:11:59 |
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06/06/14 21:34:13 |
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02/01/14 21:08:25 |
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Orchestral manoeuvres in the dark 18/11/13 14:25:02 |
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22/10/13 20:06:44 |
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Donald, where's your troosers! 18/10/13 14:07:38 |
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'There's a hot male goose over there' 18/10/13 8:50:32 |
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We shall frighten on the beaches 15/10/13 8:15:00 |
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Give me more fries and I'll get you a Michelin star - my dad's Michelin Man 04/10/13 8:32:43 |
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Tony wasn't going to attempt to slide down the bannister a second time. 27/09/13 8:12:24 |
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Beryl was happy to just watch the young men on the nudist beach, but Audrey had a stroke 17/09/13 20:43:35 |
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09/09/13 14:02:57 |
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30/08/13 21:28:01 |
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30/08/13 18:06:47 |
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The least successful of the Old Spice adverts 25/08/13 20:22:55 |
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21/08/13 8:07:38 |
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I think yours is better - sorry for ruining it! --Joe
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The weight watchers Femidom demonstration wasn't a great success 18/08/13 12:01:18 |
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Yes, hanging's a little extreme, but you forget about 'Wear a Hat Friday' and you pay the price. 14/08/13 8:32:12 |
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13/08/13 20:33:51 |
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🎵 Ewe keep me hangin' on 🎵 12/08/13 8:55:49 |
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That's 12 weeks David Blaine has been in there now - incredible! 10/08/13 22:03:44 |
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more captions
Clever! I learned a variation of that song when I was in the Scouts, same tune but it was "Robert Baden Powell had many Scouts". I still smile when I think of all of us waving our arms and legs and turning round and round.
:^)
12:40am
comment on caption:
🎵Father Abraham had venisons. Venisons had Father Abraham"¦ 🎵 [Joe]
Just the one word, could be stronger.
11:49pm
comment on caption:
She was fetching when we met [Joe]
Nah, even monkeys have better taste than that.
3:08pm
comment on caption:
If you take an infinite number of monkeys and an infinite number of pubs, eventually one of them will finish a pint of Foster's [Joe]
yeah, you're probably right... I've actually never tasted one... isn't that how AIDS got started?
3:22pm
comment on caption:
If you take an infinite number of monkeys and an infinite number of pubs, eventually one of them will finish a pint of Foster's [Joe]
"I d-d-dream.. shrrrllggh... I d-dreammm... ohhh... FFF! .. ssshhwgggllrrr... morrrre BOOOOOOOZE!!!"
7:18pm
comment on caption:
Jeanie and the bottle [Joe]
Known locally as Raga-Nothin
8:54pm
comment on caption:
Russell (supermarket own) Brand [Joe]
Haha, my favourite colour's purple but hoping I never have a big purple bottom!
8:54am
comment on caption:
Get typing Billy...
B...I...G....P...U...R...P...L...E... B...O...T...T...O...M...S...DOT.COM [Joe]
Nothing like a head start. And I'm sure you'll be head and shoulders above the rest.
8:19pm
comment on caption:
"ËœI can't believe you got the film part, Alan!'
"ËœMe neither, Clive! I haven't looked at the script yet, but reckon my role will be expanded for Godfather II and Godfather III' [Joe]
Didn't really look at this, first time around. It's actually quite clever.
8:05pm
comment on caption:
';?'
':!' [Joe]
"And don't forget J Lo's 'I Ain't Your Mama'!".
11:17pm
comment on caption:
And here's your special birthday song
🎵 ♬ Oh Annie... I'm not your Daddy🎵 ♬ [Joe]