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Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

Sudweiser.

14/02/13 8:19:39

Cath Jones Vote score: 38816Cath Jones

The DD Day Landings.

13/02/13 20:21:39

Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6766Tosser Wivlov

This looks like a booby trap.

13/02/13 20:01:47

Gordon Bannerman Vote score: 4691Gordon Bannerman

Battered Wives' Home

13/02/13 8:19:18

Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 2997Lee Hauxwell

Egrets, I've had a few.

10/02/13 20:17:20

Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

A house in the Shrub-urbs.

09/02/13 12:04:12

a house in the shrub-herbs ? :P --Isla gray
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5854Paul Reeve

🎵 Thai a yellow fellow round the old Oak tree 🎵

06/02/13 12:00:13

A yellow nippon perhaps? --Guideaux
Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

"So- what are next year's election results?"

03/02/13 12:11:44

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

Hooked on cigarettes

03/02/13 8:58:48

Oli Blackwell Vote score: 834Oli Blackwell

Star Waltz

31/01/13 13:04:39

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

"Oh! He's just a spiv selling watches. I was hoping to see his cock."

29/01/13 20:26:36

David Devine Vote score: 1725David Devine

If you've had an accident or been ninjad and it wasn't your fault call 078956644

29/01/13 9:02:45

Brilliant x --Catherine Gornall
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6766Tosser Wivlov

Like most continental beers it lacks body.

21/01/13 11:29:45

Shandonbelle Vote score: 2757Shandonbelle

Robinson Crusole.

19/01/13 20:03:48

Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

Creche Test Dummy.

17/01/13 20:00:09

Paul Reeve Vote score: 5854Paul Reeve

"Hurry up love i've got some soup to fall into".

15/01/13 20:04:54

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

Digitas

14/01/13 20:04:12

Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

A Ken-Doll Mince Cake.

13/01/13 20:00:39

Tony Edwards Vote score: 43056Tony Edwards

Many hands make light work.

13/01/13 8:49:56

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

"This is the wrong way, we'll need to do a ewe-turn."

12/01/13 20:00:05

Steve Wright Vote score: 1855Steve Wright

A cat stuck in a tree can easily be turned into a game of Catplunk by taking turns to remove branches.

12/01/13 12:27:37

John  Glover Vote score: 23224John Glover

"You'd have thought someone would have bought me a bloody lighter for my birthday, wouldn't you?"

11/01/13 20:35:35

phil mcavity Vote score: 423phil mcavity

Getting Noel ready for Deal or no Deal was getting more and more time consuming for the make up dept.

10/01/13 15:27:32

Tony Edwards Vote score: 43056Tony Edwards

Mark Splits.

10/01/13 8:10:25

Ian Mclaren Vote score: 3528Ian Mclaren

As always politicians turn their backs on the truth.

07/01/13 12:05:40

Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

"You only singh when your swinging."

03/01/13 12:00:44

Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

Compere the Meerkat.com

30/12/12 8:00:10

Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

"Excuse me, but there's a hare in this."

29/12/12 20:06:36

Shandonbelle Vote score: 2757Shandonbelle

The all new McHurry

29/12/12 20:00:58

Tony Edwards Vote score: 43056Tony Edwards

Look Who's Torquing.

28/12/12 21:01:38

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Runs well but needs brake shoes.

26/12/12 12:13:30

Tony Edwards Vote score: 43056Tony Edwards

Simply Dead.

25/12/12 20:17:10

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

The Gin Reaper.

22/12/12 20:00:07

Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6766Tosser Wivlov

It goes from 0 - 60 okay but to get to no. 78 you have to wind it up again.

20/12/12 9:57:12

Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

Is this some kind of wind-up?

20/12/12 8:00:06

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16888Hercules Rockefeller

Afronaut

19/12/12 20:06:06

Austin Marry Vote score: 1762Austin Marry

"We are thinking of Chopin it up for firewood"

18/12/12 12:15:12

Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

Bach to nature.

18/12/12 12:06:01

Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

KLM Flights are now powered by Rose-Joyce Engines.

16/12/12 20:03:08

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

Minors Strike

15/12/12 12:00:42

Paul Woolley Vote score: 3440Paul Woolley

"Put the earthling back. Our test results show he's got exactly the same DNA as the last 5 we tried."

"Should we try somewhere else other than Norfolk?"

13/12/12 13:23:03

Cath Jones Vote score: 38816Cath Jones

A Smear Campaign.

13/12/12 8:00:25

Tracy Davidson Vote score: 9777Tracy Davidson

The Eastenders Christmas special was as low-key and cheerful as usual.

11/12/12 9:44:36

Rachael Ozimek Vote score: 535Rachael Ozimek

Dolly was just one of many let down by her local council

08/12/12 9:52:02

Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

It was a sad day, when Dame Edna came in to have Madge put down.

06/12/12 20:00:25

Jon Lloyd-jones Vote score: 509Jon Lloyd-jones

The garden chair was Dave's favourite place to 'chill'

05/12/12 22:12:42

Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

"Had an accident that weren't your vault?"

04/12/12 8:35:39

Ron  Allan Vote score: 5548Ron Allan

"Mum...is Julie wearing her stripy trousers?"
"I don't know sweetheart..why?"
"Cos Grandpa just said he swatted another massive wasp in the bathroom"

03/12/12 20:00:17

phil mcavity Vote score: 423phil mcavity

'You ruined the Beatles.'

29/11/12 8:33:26

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

One small step for nan, one giant leap for nankind.

24/11/12 20:00:08

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

"Wrong gear mate"

22/11/12 20:18:26

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Jumping Jack Flush.

21/11/12 8:00:07

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

When he ordered 'Sex for Dummies' Bob was expecting a book.

20/11/12 20:21:10

Spud Gunn Vote score: 1595Spud Gunn

Only marginally better than his usual trick of talking through his arse.

19/11/12 12:11:05

Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

On the other hand, Mike doesn't speak at all.

19/11/12 12:03:28

Pablo Cabello Vote score: 4604Pablo Cabello

♫ You've got that Gloving Feline ♫

18/11/12 9:22:19

John  Glover Vote score: 23224John Glover

Rust in peace.

16/11/12 20:08:36

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

After losing a fortune on poker.com Tony realised he had been playing a Cheetah

15/11/12 20:09:13

Tony Edwards Vote score: 43056Tony Edwards

Handouts for the homeless.

14/11/12 12:11:48

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Bridge over troubled water.

14/11/12 10:27:16

C CaMel Vote score: 20327C CaMel

Cheap knight out

13/11/12 8:29:57

Chris D Vote score: 405Chris D

He was stranded at the gallery

12/11/12 13:14:32

C CaMel Vote score: 20327C CaMel

"Don't mess with me, I know Fon-Du!"

12/11/12 8:19:39

Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6766Tosser Wivlov

..and here's your table sir. Now just wait while I sort you out a stool.

10/11/12 23:45:52

Mark England Vote score: 24370Mark England

Chick peas

09/11/12 20:11:27

Cath Jones Vote score: 38816Cath Jones

Bird's Eyes Peas.

09/11/12 20:05:08

Mark England Vote score: 24370Mark England

Katie Fisher Price

09/11/12 12:21:16

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

Barbie couldn't understand how cockless Ken managed to get her pregnant.

07/11/12 20:28:41

D C Vote score: 2691D C

"Don't worry, that always happens when people see me so I come prepared."

06/11/12 9:38:35

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

Time to Deathecate

06/11/12 8:17:37

Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

Len's Caps.

04/11/12 8:01:20

Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner
Say what you like,  shes cheaper than a Dyson.

02/11/12 20:00:46

Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

"We appear to be experiencing some turbulence, largely due to potholes on the A65."

01/11/12 12:00:30

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

Beavers are normally only found in freshwater.

01/11/12 8:40:12

Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

"Here's Johnny."

31/10/12 12:00:21

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

Nappuccino.

29/10/12 8:02:28

Michael Winner Vote score: 25611Michael Winner

Despite being an Air Hostess, Doctor, Pilot, Paratrooper and Ambassador for World peace, Barbie always kept quiet as to her Occupation from 1939 to 1945.

26/10/12 7:04:03

Ken Stapleton Vote score: 1589Ken Stapleton

What's up Gok?

25/10/12 19:01:24

Gordon Bannerman Vote score: 4691Gordon Bannerman

Monty Python reunion ends in disaster

22/10/12 11:06:52

Ron  Allan Vote score: 5548Ron Allan

Barbara was the very first recorded death from Athletes Foot

22/10/12 11:00:31

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

Steve was lucky it was chocolate fingers he'd asked for with his coffee and not a chocolate hobnob.

21/10/12 9:30:42

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

"Watch the flock in road....Bitch"

19/10/12 19:23:43

John Llamas Vote score: 20904John Llamas

Post Traumatic Stress

12/10/12 19:05:36

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Harley Dimmock.

11/10/12 7:02:10

F Mackay Vote score: 24667F Mackay

♫ What shoe pussycat? Woah woah. ♫

10/10/12 11:26:22

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 16411Neil Mackenzie

Another small business has Folded.

06/10/12 19:09:10

Cath Jones Vote score: 38816Cath Jones

A Chip-Wreck.

06/10/12 19:00:08

Ian Mclaren Vote score: 3528Ian Mclaren

Disc Jock-ey.

05/10/12 11:04:33

Mark England Vote score: 24370Mark England

His hut was the envy of the village. It had all mud cons.

03/10/12 7:08:29

Mark England Vote score: 24370Mark England

Punk and Disorderly

02/10/12 11:04:08

Mark England Vote score: 24370Mark England

It crawls through traffic

01/10/12 19:03:22

Paul Woolley Vote score: 3440Paul Woolley

"Sod this audition! I don't even like Lurpack anyway!"

29/09/12 11:07:06

Oli Blackwell Vote score: 834Oli Blackwell

Yew-2.

27/09/12 19:20:27

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

Thirst aider.

25/09/12 8:03:45

Pablo Cabello Vote score: 4604Pablo Cabello

"Right lads, we'll set up camp here for tonight, and push on to the summit in the morning."

24/09/12 19:43:57

Rachael Ozimek Vote score: 535Rachael Ozimek

"First my bike, now my car you plebs"

22/09/12 7:30:38

Mark England Vote score: 24370Mark England

Bevvitate

18/09/12 7:01:01

Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

The Great White thought Reg's Pulp Fiction dance routine was the funniest thing ever.

16/09/12 19:02:22

Lee Hauxwell Vote score: 2997Lee Hauxwell

Knicker Teens

15/09/12 12:07:27

John  Glover Vote score: 23224John Glover

Someone told him it was 'hard core', yet there was nothing on the other side of the wall but rubble, dust and broken bricks.

14/09/12 19:31:57

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