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Lee Hauxwell

signed up: 8 years, 5 months ago
profile viewed: 8 time(s) this week
caption quota: 10
votes given since joining: 1,815
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I'm a School Caretaker with a dark sense of humour (not sure which came first)

In my spare time I enjoy photography, my preferred topics are Aviation and Macro work of nature (mostly bugs and flowers)

If you want to check out some of my work, I have an account on

www.flickr.com

Username: Caketaker42

Location: Staines

A sample of my Aviation Photography. [<em>Lee Hauxwell</em>]

A sample of my Aviation Photography. [Lee Hauxwell]

To send a private message to Lee please log in

captions

£50
WINNER

The first passenger flight of Derry Air

15/08/11 11:12:49

A Little me time

11/05/12 11:34:57

lol

Our customers always come first.

23/11/13 8:28:09

There's some Thing in my coffee

21/10/12 10:01:22

creative

... an the award for Gynecologist of the year goes to...

23/08/13 12:16:55

It's Wife Jim, but not as we know it.

17/06/12 11:00:49

Got anything cheaper?
This one's two deer

01/06/12 11:03:38

Convenience food

01/06/13 9:09:12

Spanish market exposes Basque Seperate tits.

27/05/12 11:07:58

Here comes the tide

11/10/11 11:03:13

Sony a shower

09/10/11 11:52:12

Steptoe and Sony.

17/09/12 13:32:18

Okay smartass, now make them drink!

28/08/12 12:01:01

Thank goodness for childhood obesity

28/03/12 11:09:49

Pampers with added protection

31/12/11 21:46:00

creative

Egrets, I've had a few.

10/02/13 20:17:20

Knicker Teens

15/09/12 13:07:27

Crapham Common

02/09/12 8:50:46

Hampton Courting

08/07/12 20:25:54

The red tart and the blue tart had a race...

18/06/12 20:02:25

Go ahead make my Deity

13/06/12 11:02:01

Yearbook student voted most likely to return and massacre the campus.

25/04/12 11:48:10

Hey you, is this your fault?

26/11/11 9:55:34

creative

Sue's slipped discs required a Cat scan, no cats were available so she had to wait for the Lab to get back with the result.

12/12/13 9:42:40

Sailafield

25/08/13 21:17:58

Avoid CIA spy satellites for just $1.

09/06/13 10:28:47

Can I Borrower light?

15/12/12 12:13:19

30/10/12 12:27:01

19/09/12 20:50:59

12/10/11 11:31:27

Recycle your teens here.
Do you have a bed hogging; late sleeping; mumbling, fridge emptier?
Does he do nothing at all?
Then recycle him in one of our special receptacles and he will be sent to Africa to dig wells or something...
Veolia, We care because they don't.

26/08/13 14:17:45

Do they take teenage daughters? Mine fills all of the above criteria. --Neil Mackenzie

creative x3

The Curious Case of Jensen Button.

06/03/13 10:22:19

I got these on higher purchase

10/11/12 8:50:31

Jesus. The Great heeler.

01/08/12 11:13:36

Van au cock

31/07/12 20:36:37

To Marigoldly go where no man has gone before.

17/06/12 11:07:09

Whatever age you are, the "pull my finger" gag never grows old.

12/10/13 20:17:40

Cods and Rockers

24/02/13 20:05:55

Postal worker.

17/01/13 13:44:20

AAARGH! There's a Giant Wasp inside.

25/11/12 10:47:40

Gran Control to Major Tom

24/11/12 23:18:02

Rubik's Tube

27/10/12 9:35:35

Curious and unusual deaths #42
The loose cotton on Steve's underwear got caught in the ceiling fan.

14/07/12 11:10:37

Have you any idea how many rocks I had to shag before I found you?

05/07/12 11:06:34

Caution, will not look like this when worn by your missus.

27/05/12 11:05:12

Brain storm

25/03/12 11:00:24

Off to the Doctors to see about mastiff arm

21/11/11 11:32:20

Scotland's oldest man celebrates his 70th birthday

21/04/11 18:48:19

...but at least they went comfortably.

07/09/13 9:24:48

lol

It turns out that the dream he had about being eaten by a bacon sandwich was a premonition.

05/01/13 21:26:44

Wicked pleasures #42: Polishing Funfair seats.

04/10/12 11:01:21

Not Jewish then?

29/08/12 20:06:59

Looks like he washed on the wrong cycle

06/08/12 17:02:14

Jesus performs exerscism

01/08/12 11:15:11

Depressed truck throws itself under a bridge.

18/06/12 11:16:02

Crewe cuts

07/01/12 11:30:47

The trouble with living in the East Village was working out what was art.

16/09/11 11:16:15

What are those two girls going to do with that cup?

15/09/11 11:09:22

I hate the video (no sane person could watch and enjoy it) but I find the reaction videos utterly hilarious. For that reason, this caption works well.I'm sad to see people leave in protest over this, but as other commenter... --Chris Beach

How to feel a tome in the countryside

12/09/11 11:33:55

Blowtox

05/09/11 11:12:20

Koreasmas Dinner.

25/12/13 13:13:04

...Because Retarded would need a bigger sign.

28/11/13 21:02:41

Who's a shitty boy then?

30/08/13 8:03:16

Earl teaches his daughters about contraception Alabama style.

22/06/13 13:05:18

Looks like someone found a use for Katie Price's old diaphragms

09/06/13 10:35:58

Fingerblobs

25/01/13 11:39:00

Raleigh Coaster.

06/01/13 8:36:18

Going to rock concerts is Hobbit forming.

31/12/12 8:33:38

Go see Matron, your Hogwarts are back again.

12/08/12 16:43:46

Mary was never picked in Guess Who

17/06/12 20:29:23

unbeknown to him, Rob was about to be killed by his biggest fan

05/05/12 11:33:46

Because hyperchondriacs take holidays too

28/12/11 20:45:47

Barbie kept a spare head incase.

16/10/11 21:03:51

Mummy I just won a pony.
What's eBay?

06/10/11 11:46:04

Non-Friction

12/09/11 11:36:22

Oxford or Picadilly?

06/05/11 11:01:48

Shy duck seeks coy carp

26/04/11 14:33:06

The bear who came to TT

02/01/14 9:03:23

Catcher of the rye

26/12/13 8:11:52

Phallus sea

16/12/13 20:16:12

What we'll be wearing in the Fuschia.

15/12/13 13:21:44

Dougal stole the Roundabout and sold it to buy Meth

12/09/13 10:43:37

creative

After a catalogue of poor choices Denzel mis-read the sign for Tolls ahead.

01/06/13 0:44:47

Romancing the store

27/05/13 10:03:21

Norse Korea

28/02/13 13:30:08

Irish Water skiers ditch the boat and build a sloping lake.

12/01/13 8:32:54

Yep, I think the ball was and indeed still is 'IN'

21/11/12 20:02:12

Cameltoe and Son

21/10/12 15:45:42

At Last! I can watch my DVDs properly

26/09/12 20:08:18

Police trial a more subtle form of Kettling

15/08/12 23:45:10

'Hello, Is that the Ikea Help Desk?'

22/07/12 21:04:02

The brakes were cut?
Yes Sir, apparently he made some comment about Derry Air on a caption competition.

10/07/12 20:57:17

Born on the fourth of Jihad

01/07/12 22:53:30

Aah Mr Bond, I've Bin inspecting you.

01/07/12 11:37:22

The Special Needs shoe tying competition.

28/06/12 20:11:54

Welcome to the University of Norfolk.

17/06/12 20:27:25

Broom with a view

16/06/12 20:36:00

Can someone pass me an X-shirt please?

06/06/12 11:25:18

Oh that's what a Hospice is.

02/06/12 21:33:24

Candidate for the Turner Prize

18/05/12 11:52:04

How Stonehenge should have looked if Neolithic man had bothered to read the instructions.

11/05/12 20:19:48

Bears do knit in the woods

13/04/12 20:34:34

It's hard knowing what to wear when you're a Goth

07/12/11 11:49:00

Little Buddha is watching

15/10/11 12:09:58

Ian was regretting ordering the 32000 Ounce steak

27/09/11 11:37:55

See you in court

05/07/11 6:11:42

If only there were some kind of road sign to warn us of such occurrences.

10/05/11 14:24:34

Toss Bros.

26/11/13 13:39:52

Splash the cash

07/09/13 21:20:46

The Oddbins couple

23/08/13 20:42:27

Jesus 2: The second coming.
He's back and ready to kick butt.

16/06/13 9:34:41

There was a young Pug called Pat
who wore a charming green hat.
The gifts he bestowed
all over the road
were usually blamed on the cat.

02/05/13 16:02:29

How to cheat at 'Guess Who'

03/03/13 20:40:05

Bibbety, bobbety, boob.

17/02/13 21:11:49

The Nightcap before Christmas.

22/12/12 20:48:54

SS & M Party

26/10/12 10:49:41

Thai massage indeed! It's only going up to my knees

16/10/12 13:20:57

The car in front has a toy Yoda.

14/10/12 17:46:44

To the Batgrave...

18/09/12 20:43:00

Prepare for a cavity search!

11/09/12 13:24:59

Obey watch

07/08/12 11:06:43

Early flies up at the crack of Dawn.

29/07/12 11:28:24

We come in pies

16/07/12 11:06:02

You know you had too much to drink when you wake up in the park between the aerobics and a headless biker.

28/06/12 20:13:29

Levit Asian

05/06/12 11:46:59

Halocopter

18/05/12 11:44:22

I'm confused, is this the before or after pic?

09/03/12 11:38:19

Ooh look that ones chargrilled already

23/01/12 11:08:31

Hideout of the not so great train robbers

07/01/12 11:20:51

Spray Misty for me

30/12/11 11:29:07

BBC Reporters get younger every year

15/11/11 11:29:49

I can see Allah way through

19/10/11 11:51:36

Why do Seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels.

22/09/11 11:54:39

Embers only club

12/09/11 10:38:19

Come die with me

25/04/11 13:12:07

Jedward are cremated

11/03/11 11:03:31

WEAR A HELMET!
It may look silly but it's better than eating through a straw for the rest of your life.

28/12/13 9:38:15

Jack Reacher.

26/12/13 8:13:33

Artificial inseminators sure know how to party

01/12/13 8:21:05

Alice in Sunderland

30/11/13 22:42:04

creative

Royal Mail is an equal opportunity employer.

20/11/13 14:25:54

The Red Gran and the Blue Gran had a race...

25/09/13 20:22:19

Puss in suits

13/09/13 21:27:07

Atos assessment centre ahead.

01/09/13 8:37:43

From the people who brought you the King Solomon Child Custody Agency. --Lee Hauxwell

Mannequin of the cloth

28/08/13 20:50:37

Chewb train

01/07/13 20:04:36

Ghost seen in fridge.
Zanussi, the appliance of Seance.

20/06/13 20:36:10

Icy dead people --Mark England

Call to Raleigh.

31/01/13 21:36:29

Friendly service with a Shuriken Do attitude.

29/01/13 10:52:34

lol

Where everyone is greeted with a friendly HI,YA!

29/01/13 10:48:57

Gillette. The best a 'van can get.

27/01/13 8:17:18

lol

The English Impatient.

19/01/13 9:13:11

It's the suislide bombers you should watch out for

03/01/13 12:09:09

Playing music out in the heat of the savanna? It's Madness

30/12/12 8:03:59

Urine for a good time.

21/11/12 10:57:36

My kids never come to visit, they say it's too far.

10/11/12 12:10:19

I think 'Last of the Summer Wine' has gone on too long now!

10/11/12 12:04:39

Stark Gable

03/11/12 23:01:02

Papa Nazi

31/10/12 11:07:05

There's Methodist in the madness.

25/10/12 13:43:13

The Witches of Prestwick.

08/08/12 14:05:47

Russel Brand shows off his newest piercing.

29/06/12 11:52:39

Bored of the Magic Roundabout, Brian tried the Magic Mushroom.

26/06/12 11:16:50

Interview panel

14/05/12 20:02:23

Now there's a man who isn't afraid to walk into a wall with an erection

05/01/12 22:22:50

It's elementary my dear Watts on

18/11/11 10:56:10

Copy that, the suspect will be extremely alert.

15/11/11 20:05:26

Tea and a chat,
Coffee and small torque

07/11/11 21:54:43

Saudi do dat den?

19/10/11 11:50:30

Croakswagen

04/10/11 11:10:52

Q: Do you know the highway code?
A: Readit

04/10/11 11:08:08

Captain Hook's wife, Edna

29/09/11 14:02:16

Since the departure of the Lighthouse family, Ocean Drive was not what it used to be

23/09/11 11:06:28

Bob the Builder, Icon fix it

21/08/11 11:29:55

Oh no a soo, psunam, samer, sanoo, er Big Wave!

18/05/11 13:42:06

21/03/11 11:36:54

06/03/11 14:12:44

10/02/11 11:05:31

03/01/14 20:43:54

23/12/13 12:33:33

I'm looking for Chaz or Dave...

30/11/13 21:25:25

Good time grill

21/11/13 20:38:26

Who's idea was it to put 30 premenstrual girls on a field and then give them a giant Easter egg?

10/11/13 9:50:00

I love big huts and I cannot lie...

27/10/13 12:42:53

25/10/13 20:09:47

22/10/13 13:19:10

05/10/13 8:52:11

28/09/13 9:38:28

OMG The Chinese invented the Slinky as well?!

27/09/13 11:34:49

The Dyslexic Zombies are here!
They've come to eat our Brians.

10/09/13 10:25:15

Polly want a crapper?

30/08/13 8:04:03

First all gay team train for Tour de France 2014.

27/08/13 12:12:22

He was the best cop on the block

12/07/13 20:41:57

I've had it for 15 Tribble free years

19/06/13 14:53:38

Crack Weazel

29/05/13 10:53:18

Crawler Lane.

06/03/13 10:23:22

Clean-up on aisle floor.

13/02/13 11:37:19

THE MORMONS ARE COMING!

20/01/13 21:24:43

Okay, who shaved Garfield?!

17/01/13 22:28:24

Herro?, my commuter just crashed.

01/01/13 12:19:51

more captions

last comments (total: 156)

needs a "do" after "they".

[anon]

23/06/13
12:51pm

comment on caption:
Supermodels rarely poo, but when they it is more valuable than gold. [Lee Hauxwell]

Do they take teenage daughters? Mine fills all of the above criteria.

Neil Mackenzie

26/08/13
2:39pm

comment on caption:
Recycle your teens here.
Do you have a bed hogging; late sleeping; mumbling, fridge emptier?
Does he do nothing at all?
Then recycle him in one of our special receptacles and he will be sent to Africa to dig wells or something...
Veolia, We care because they don't. [Lee Hauxwell]

A sample of my Aviation Photography.

Lee Hauxwell

27/08/13
2:11pm

comment on photo:

From the people who brought you the King Solomon Child Custody Agency.

Lee Hauxwell

01/09/13
12:00pm

comment on caption:
Atos assessment centre ahead. [Lee Hauxwell]

nod to 10:30:08

Lee Hauxwell

03/09/13
10:47am

comment on caption:
Snog a dog
[Lee Hauxwell]

Another attack by Alky Qaeda.

Michael Winner

07/09/13
8:24am

comment on caption:
Damn those suicide tramps! [Lee Hauxwell]

Simmons

[anon]

12/09/13
3:41pm

comment on caption:
Mrs Simmonds wanted a boy. She liked the name Gene [Lee Hauxwell]

See 20.23.09 below

Zac Kramer

01/01/14
3:03am

comment on caption:
Ed is on [Lee Hauxwell]

Very sneaky! You should delete

[anon]

01/01/14
1:31pm

comment on caption:
Ed is on [Lee Hauxwell]

The Balance of the Lambs?

Michael Winner

04/01/14
8:13pm

comment on caption:
Cyclist of the Lambs. [Lee Hauxwell]

more comments

Lee Hauxwell

best latest latest and best captions

last comments (total: 156)

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