Sending private messages on this site is currently disabled due to abuse by spammers.

Please use the forum to send private messages instead.

	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	119	7	31	#15	5	34	#16	5868	18079	#14
Photos
Comments	27	1			1	3	#7	455	696	#14
Forum Posts		1						1
Suggested Edits								2	1	#13

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	10	#30	13	#25	5686	#40
Photos	1	#9	1	#9	1734	#11
Comments	1	#4	3	#7	770	#12
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					1	#13

captions comments received captioned photos

captions


lol x2 creative x2 clever 26/01/23 12:11:11		20 36
Congratulations, Al. Out of the many great captions this month, yours was a cut above the rest.:^)Crunchy --Crunchy Chords
	lol x2 creative x4 'Dear Mr Smith, here is your beloved Mittens, compliments of Stuffit & Mount Taxidermy. Due to a small incident with some superglue, we have decided to waive your bill. P.S. You can keep the deer.' 15/03/23 8:00:16	24 30
Good stuff! Dead funny. your wins just keep mounting.Keep them coming Al. --John Glover

lol 21/10/22 8:00:16		20 29
Thanks so much for the votes and kind words. Moreover, thanks to Chris for his hard work, patience and generosity running the site. It's not easy looking after us lot. Thanks again, everyone. :)P.S. I'll just do a pun next time, James. --Al Overy
	lol "My name's Nicholas and I'm an alcoho-ho-holic." 18/10/22 8:01:46	28

	lol Let's toast the winner! 16/11/21 8:00:08	28


lol x2 creative 10/10/20 12:00:14		21 27
Thanks again everyone. --Al Overy
	clever x2 Despite the doctor's efforts, he left hospital in a box. 31/03/24 20:09:49	26

	lol x2 There once was a man called Bob Goode Who taught Shaolin skills in the wood Bob slipped while he tutored And sadly got neutered His nuts landing where he once stood 15/01/24 8:20:55, edited: 15/01/24 8:49:17	3 26
Oh your efforts deserve praise indeed!! 😂 --Julia Kinsey
	lol "Doctor, Doctor I have shooting pains in my stomach!" "That'll teach you to go for an Indian." 09/01/24 12:02:41	26

	"Grub's up!" 17/12/23 21:11:05	25

	lol clever "Look what Timmy brought home from plague group!" 07/02/23 8:01:00	25

	Traffic news: Road closures due to pride march. 14/01/23 12:00:12	25

	lol Upon losing, he began screaming, shouting and rolling on the floor, which was disgraceful behaviour for a 65 year old town councillor. 06/08/23 20:31:04	4 24
My apologies, Chris. I would delete it, but it would make nonsense of your and Glyn's responses. --Molly R
	For those who like to torque with their mouth full. 19/09/22 8:00:15	1 24

	"I'm afraid I'll have to leave it there as I'm really bad at painting chairs." 30/04/21 20:00:34	24

	This house belongs to a famous wrapper. 28/04/24 20:01:12	1 23

	clever Collect extra Nectar points! 29/01/24 8:19:04	23

	Cold caller 26/01/24 8:00:17	23

	🎵 My art will go on... 24/01/24 12:05:35, edited: 24/01/24 12:07:11	23

	lol "Too much, Mr Hitchcock?" 24/03/23 12:00:12	23

	Jenny felt safer with planes after her recent helicopter experience. 22/07/23 8:03:39	4 22
Well, she hasn't got wet hair any more. --Karen McDonald
	Whenever Jeff meets a new girl he gets completely carried away. 14/03/23 8:06:10	22

	lol "That you, Bob? Me goggles have steamed up." 10/01/22 12:35:34	22


27/09/21 8:00:41		18 22
Thanks everyone! I'm blown away by the support and really wasn't expecting this. Right, I'm off to barter for half a jerry can of unleaded. --Al Overy
	creative I'm careful not to drop them as I hate pulp fiction. 25/03/24 8:14:26	21

	"When you said you'd bought a suit for a pound..." 17/03/24 12:18:23	21

	lol She had several number ones. Sadly, they were on the carpet. 24/08/23 9:45:17	1 21
Bad Girl! --Karyn Harrison
	clever Rhea of the Year 18/08/23 12:00:28	21

	"Can he be cured, Doctor?" 12/07/23 8:05:27	21

	lol clever Justin was a terrible roll model. 29/06/23 12:06:24	1 21

	The moment when you realise that's not a Mars Bar floating towards you... 10/04/23 12:01:50	1 21

	creative As Nan got older, we gradually reduced the size of the hurdles to avoid injury. 29/06/22 20:00:14	21

	lol Sally began to regret buying the special 'Yorkshire Edition' Scrabble. 07/07/21 20:01:00	1 21
Let by gums be by gums --Glyn Evans
	lol "Well, it worked with the goldfish..." 23/06/21 8:02:18	21

	lol clever 'Prince Charles said what?' 10/03/21 8:03:42	21

	lol x2 creative "Hello, is that Chris Beach? Listen, I won the January Caption competition bigly and everyone knows it! SO FIND MY MISSING VOTES!!!" 16/02/21 8:00:07	3 21
"Listen, all I need you to do is find me 25 more votes, or I won't like you as much. Stop the steal." Signed, anon voter --Willie Johnson
	lol creative I'd been applying for jobs for months, sent thousands of CVs and been rejected on countless occasions. Eventually I lowered my expectations and, although the pay is really crap, I am proud to call myself Trainee Assistant Dung Beetle. 06/01/21 20:00:41	21


lol 05/12/20 20:07:54		16 21
... or an inexperienced bog guide.Well done Al. Great caption. --James Lennox
	Fake moos 28/03/24 8:00:27	20

	"They had to react, Trevor, because the other side have taken the lead." 28/02/24 8:09:56, edited: 28/02/24 8:11:07	20

	clever Very annoying in jams. 03/12/23 17:55:52	20

	Stiff drinks 07/11/23 20:00:28	20

	Traumatised as a child, Tim vowed he'd never miss an ice cream van ever again... 15/10/23 8:09:58	20

	It was far safer than reading it on the web. 05/06/23 12:01:51	20

	lol creative clever SPY BALLOON SCANDAL: Germany denies any involvement. 18/02/23 8:00:12	6 20
I’ve not seen this elsewhere. I also don’t think it’s necessary to use comments to criticise captions. Better just to withhold your vote and move on. --Chris Beach
	lol "Welcome to your electric shock aversion therapy session, Anon. So, everytime you say something pedantic or unnecessary, I'll apply a high voltage to..." "Actually, you'll find it's not the voltage that's dangerous but the currAAAAAAAAGH!" 02/09/21 13:33:38	2 20
Haha, to avoid that, all you have to do is use your own name like meAAAAAAAAGH! --Willie Johnson
	clever x2 "Now, if you'll all sit quietly, I'll explain which bone is connected to which without making a song and dance about it." 03/04/21 12:25:31	1 20
But sure make have you the order right. --Willie Johnson
	creative Tonight on Panorama: Is there too much oestrogen in our water? We speak to three men in their thirties about their experiences. 17/02/21 8:01:22	24 20
I refuse to recognise this as the winning caption. I was getting ready to celebrate this one as the true winner - https://www.caption.me/579204Join me at the "Stop the Steal" rally followed by a march to the Caption Building alongsid... --Troompa Loompa
	lol "You spoil that moth!" 13/11/20 8:00:37	1 20
It's the least we can do... he knows what's behind your closet door... we've robbed him of his progeny. --Mauris Iocus
	lol "For goodness sake, Ted! I told you not to lie on the dog blanket with suncream on!" 14/08/20 8:00:18	20

	Slush puppies 08/04/24 8:01:24	19

	Every little yelps. 01/04/24 8:01:58	19

	lol creative Welcome to the NHS App. Please tell us how often you experience these symptoms: - never - often - only on a full moon 20/11/23 12:09:41	19

	lol "SOLD. Next up, lot 57, George Michael's scrapbook." 04/10/23 8:06:00	19

	lol The Outlaw Josey (Wales) 26/06/23 8:06:21	19

	Mums up and down the country start to brace themselves for the impending School Summer Holiday. 08/06/23 12:00:16	19

	Looks like someone's cut a few corners there. 28/05/23 20:00:14	19

	"When I said get your skates on..." 08/03/23 8:00:13	19

	"So, the castle's closed on Sundays, is it? We'll soon see about that!!" 26/02/23 8:13:37	1 19

	Rover Dealer 21/12/22 8:00:12	19

	We wanted three French hens but could only get one due to the red tape. 15/11/22 20:00:17	19

	Phones 4ewe 23/10/22 8:00:10	19

	Man eating tiger 13/08/22 12:00:09	19

	Breaking: Wall. Mortar come later. 19/07/22 12:00:56	1 19

	We call him Groucho behind his back. 15/07/22 8:00:17	19

	"Is that the head office?" 08/01/22 8:04:17	19

	clever "I'm afraid there'll be no presents this year, children. Santa's been mugged!" 15/12/21 8:00:08	19

	clever Paper view 20/03/21 12:00:07	19

	lol Have a Snickers, Pingu! You're not yourself when you're hungry! 06/02/21 20:03:05	2 19
Fur coat no snickers --Mr Dome
	lol Best. Massage. Ever. 11/11/23 9:37:12	18

	Limbited edition 04/10/23 12:09:08	18

	"BLOOMING POTHOLES!" 24/05/23 20:00:13	18

	Lambert and 26 Butlers 19/05/23 12:00:29	18

	"It's how I first learnt to spell." 01/03/23 8:01:39	18

	Running joke. 25/02/23 8:00:11	18

	clever Hubert eagerly awaited the big match. 29/11/22 20:00:14	1 18
Darn it Al. You're going to have to change your name to "hidden", so I can vote for more of your captions. --Willie Johnson
	creative Shave The Children 02/10/22 12:00:10	18

	clever He's also been working on his pecks. 24/08/22 20:00:33	18

	Reading town centre 16/08/22 8:00:10	18

	Cow & Gates 23/07/22 8:00:14	18

	Loos women 17/07/22 8:06:51	18

	Latest frontline photo reveals clear evidence that Putin has Bungled his invasion. 20/05/22 8:00:07	18

	lol "So, you say that the assailant attacked you with a high-powered leaf blower, Madam? Do you have any proof?" 11/04/22 20:00:41	1 18

	lol "See - I told you this room was big enough!" 17/03/22 12:06:33	2 18
Only just got this. Great caption. --Karyn Harrison
	lol "Now, my good man, are you a mounted policeman?" "No." "Would you like to be?" 07/02/22 20:11:21	18

	clever "Listen, I hear you mounted my cousin in your dining room! Now it's pay back time!" 13/11/21 20:00:49	18

	The police line-up was going fine until one of them squealed. 27/10/21 20:24:17	18

	clever Is this some kind of quorny joke? 03/07/21 8:18:55	1 18
They didn't want you to joke on any bones. --Willie Johnson
	lol creative Braille replacement service 12/05/21 12:01:31	18

	Nice bike - looks like the Dulux version! 09/05/21 12:00:09	18

	clever Garden swing 12/04/21 12:00:17	18

	"I'll give gran a ring later and see if she got that dodgy underfloor wiring fixed." 25/03/21 8:03:15	18

	I love cooking with Basil. 24/03/21 12:00:06	18

	lol x2 "If you were 'at your desk all morning', Mildred, how do explain this battered courgette next to an open copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover?" 12/02/21 12:00:37	3 18

	clever "Hang in there, Mr Atlas, sir! We'll have you out in no time!" 02/01/21 8:34:51	18

	"I bless you in the name of the father, the son and the holey ball with a bell in that smells of catnip." 30/11/20 8:00:48	18

	News in today - the army is running out of thick jumpers. 30/08/20 8:03:27	1 18
Just heard new recruits will be dropping in. --Mauris Iocus
	Earthy, bitter and with an unusual nose. The wine's not bad though. 20/02/24 8:01:36	17

	Never steal from McDonald's in Tehran. 23/01/24 20:02:26	3 17
Yeah, their Hamburglar ad campaign was brutal. --James Lennox
	Barbie-que chicken 12/01/24 8:01:02	17

more captions

last comments (total: 623)

Did you know that Humperbert Engledinck. (As I like to call him.)
Wrote the lyrics to his most famous song, following a debilitating case of trapped wind. He claims he was delirious at the time and he saw a bright light in front of him. It wasn’t God, it was his own bowels and the methane inside was screaming in pain. Hence the song, “Please Release Me Let Me Go..” I know this because my nan used to iron his hair.

Karen Oakenfull

10/10/23
12:41pm

comment on caption:
Englebert was a Performance Fartist. [Al Overy]

I didn't know that Karen, what an amazing story, I always wondered how he got his hair so silky, so shiny.
I dread to think what "There Goes My Everything" was about now though.

Karen McDonald

12/10/23
9:06am

comment on caption:
Englebert was a Performance Fartist. [Al Overy]

Wouldn't that make it much easier to solve?

James Lennox

07/11/23
9:44pm

comment on caption:
"Can I solve it? Er, no, because I'm f*cking colour blind." [Al Overy]

Preferred it without the second sentence, personally.

Vivvy En

15/11/23
8:59pm

comment on caption:
"Don't eat it, Snow!" Following on from her previous misfortunes, Snow White was accompanied by at least three undercover dwarves wherever she went. [Al Overy]

Thanks, Vivvy. :)

(caption author)

15/11/23
9:50pm

comment on caption:
"Don't eat it, Snow!" Following on from her previous misfortunes, Snow White was accompanied by at least three undercover dwarves wherever she went. [Al Overy]

Oh yes, but I don't want the 'Doc'tored-Up version... I want the 'Real McCoy.'

[anon]

19/11/23
11:38am

comment on caption:
Also available: Dinosaur Bones. [Al Overy]

We don't deserve this.

Peter Houle

21/11/23
10:39pm

comment on caption:
"I thought you were bringing some wine to go with dinner?"

"No, I said I'm smelly, eh?" [Al Overy]

Thanks, Peter. I was worried it was too subtle.

(caption author)

22/11/23
6:06am

comment on caption:
"I thought you were bringing some wine to go with dinner?"

"No, I said I'm smelly, eh?" [Al Overy]

Was playing with the wording for a Pompeii caption for ages and then when I was happy with it I checked the list and you'd beaten me to it! (Yours is better anyway). Have a vote :)