super vote: ( left this week)
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The Beached Boys
20/04/23 11:02:19, edited: 20/04/23 11:16:28
I only went in for a wee and ended up sh*tting myself.
19/04/23 19:01:46
For Sale: Customised Monster Truck with hula hoop holder included.
17/04/23 7:00:29
"I warned you not to have sex with that ostrich."
16/04/23 7:00:35, edited: 16/04/23 7:00:54
Tom Cruise
15/04/23 7:01:52
Not the best venue for a Shotgun Wedding.
03/04/23 11:15:46
The nuns would become quite competitive when it came to changing fluorescent tubes in the monastery.
31/03/23 19:01:09
Please could you play something by OREO Speedwagon?
30/03/23 19:00:16
The look of the Irish
30/03/23 7:09:23
“I need another pint, my urine is on the dark side.”
28/03/23 11:00:50
Sofa King Uncomfortable
27/03/23 12:13:47
Shark and Ride
24/03/23 8:01:25
"I hate f*cking sharks!""Nobody's forcing you."
24/03/23 8:00:25
A minor
22/03/23 12:11:18
Art for arse sake
19/03/23 8:07:21
Cops and Lobbers
12/03/23 20:08:19, edited: 12/03/23 20:16:12
Charred Drive
08/03/23 20:02:54
My wife wears 'eels.
08/03/23 8:00:30
"Hmmn, do you reckon we should put the 'Out of Order' sign at the bottom or the top?"
06/03/23 12:29:17
''Don't you find rats a problem?''''No, they moved out last month.''
01/03/23 12:18:01
''She's a nice girl but she can't hold her drink.''
28/02/23 20:15:03
The management of the nearby Skittles factory have denied responsibility.
27/02/23 20:07:14
Poor Tina. Even the tide won't take her out.
25/02/23 12:13:19, edited: 25/02/23 12:15:52
"He's my step brother."
16/02/23 12:00:06
"I think I'm gonna find a new Best Man, Dave. This Stag Do sucks."
09/02/23 12:17:23
"...and WAKE UP DAVE!" shouted the hypnotist.
05/02/23 20:00:26
Careful, when he wants a drink he schnaps.
04/02/23 20:41:54, edited: 04/02/23 20:42:06
He told me I was cutting it a bit fine for the train.
03/02/23 12:07:56
When you said you knew a girl that did a great BJ...
02/02/23 21:38:51
"The prisoners are at it again Sir.""Find me the ring leader."
29/01/23 20:11:48
“Do you want some more lintels and beams?”“No thanks, I’ve had enough of that vegetarian crap.”
23/01/23 20:54:42, edited: 23/01/23 21:00:57
"My brother and me go to carpenter classes""Cool, have you been going long?""We've only just begun"
23/01/23 20:34:33
"I warned him not to go sailing after gargling with Listerine."
19/01/23 8:00:16
Despairing the inevitable onslaught of excruciating puns, the bananas chose suicide.
15/01/23 20:18:34
Rolling Stones deny being fossils
14/01/23 8:00:12
Sorry Luna, we need all of them to make the roads safer.”
07/01/23 12:00:17
"Yes, there's a little bird shit, but thankfully no pineapple."
04/01/23 20:54:36
''Is there anything you miss about Jamaica?''
30/12/22 12:01:03
"I wished for my bollocks back."
27/12/22 13:32:49, edited: 27/12/22 13:34:16
Christmas charades was always a blast.“ A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush!” Shouted Aunty.
22/12/22 8:23:44
Using a fish and cat as bait, young Dave was determined to catch himself a crocodile.
19/12/22 8:07:56
“Think that again and I’ll punch you in the face.”
17/12/22 12:00:14
You have a friend request
16/12/22 12:05:58
''Bloody typical. You go to the toilet and when you get back some wanker has taken your seat.''
11/12/22 20:08:25, edited: 11/12/22 20:16:31
''Dave usually sits on cans in the kitchen. He doesn't like the draught in the living room.''
10/12/22 8:18:26, edited: 10/12/22 8:21:30
Kneady child
06/12/22 20:05:13
"The pearly gates are open, Your Majesty," said St. Peter. "But you may wish to let go of that leash first."[Happy to delete if anyone thinks this is 'too soon']
03/12/22 8:21:53, edited: 03/12/22 8:39:07
.. and his arch enemy The Piddler.
01/12/22 8:03:31
There’s some fin about Mary.
30/11/22 22:30:51
"Tell the firing squad I'm almost ready."
29/11/22 20:09:18
Another stock photo
27/11/22 8:14:23
“Do you have everything you need madam, or would you like me to get you a shovel?”
26/11/22 8:41:34
“Not another one Boris!”
21/11/22 20:00:14
20/11/22 20:01:05, edited: 03/12/22 14:07:15
Who says euthanasia can't be fun?
17/11/22 8:03:23
''Have you got the pot ready? I've spotted Matt Hancock.''
10/11/22 8:11:59
This was the problem with the Mahunti-gathi tribe of deepest Peru. Half of them were hunters. Half of them were gatherers. None of them were mechanics.
08/11/22 12:50:33, edited: 08/11/22 12:56:06
07/11/22 20:01:04, edited: 03/12/22 13:49:43
Begpuss
07/11/22 9:01:18
If you thought getting on the wrong side of The Mafia was bad, try upsetting The Entomology Society.
06/11/22 21:23:44
"Now we have the x-rays we can clearly see there is no change."
06/11/22 8:38:34
Forest Dump
04/11/22 20:01:45
Shallottery
28/10/22 7:03:34
“This service is suspended until further notice”
25/10/22 19:16:50
For Children 6 to 666
19/10/22 19:07:37
Evidence mounts that Dalmatians are being given steroids.
17/10/22 11:07:50
Dave liked to have his Cholestrol checked regularly.
17/10/22 9:26:23
Child support
15/10/22 7:15:26
''I don't like The Simpsons, dad. What's on the other side?''
09/10/22 11:32:25
"I shouldn't have got a cat and mouse tattooed on my privates""Why's that?""It's Itchy and Scratchy"
09/10/22 11:17:40, edited: 09/10/22 11:18:15
Star Wars fans preferred C3PO to R2D2 in general.
07/10/22 7:17:10
This original design of an Airbus didn’t take off.
02/10/22 7:12:04
''Can we try somewhere else? I've got a bad feeling about this care home.''
25/09/22 7:52:30
I see the problem. No balls.
21/09/22 7:21:44
Fountain of youth
19/09/22 19:01:49
''It must be a Michelin restaurant.''
19/09/22 7:06:13
"How did you get on with the hare spray?"
12/09/22 11:05:52
"Some tool locked me out."
11/09/22 19:00:34
Is there a plot?
11/09/22 17:05:38
Just take the picture here, we can crop it later.
10/09/22 7:16:09, edited: 10/09/22 7:20:19
Bone appetit!
07/09/22 19:00:25
Everyone in town remembers the year that Evel Knievel was Mayor
06/09/22 11:08:31
The Uk looks back enviously on the wealth and prosperity of the 70s
01/09/22 19:09:42
Sex on the beech
31/08/22 11:45:27
The Pharaoh Rocher is served.
28/08/22 11:32:54
Anyone up for a game of five ass side?
26/08/22 19:22:29
I can smell some Thing burning.
22/08/22 7:47:22
The Roman Empire Strikes Back
21/08/22 7:00:11, edited: 24/08/22 10:22:26
"Can you lift me up please Daddy?" "Sorry kid, I can't help you ATM."
19/08/22 7:23:26
Say It with flowers.
17/08/22 19:01:32
Try not to call everyone 'Dave'.
12/08/22 19:16:20
Sat in the waiting room Dave was absolutely bricking it. He'd heard the giant sandpaper tongue lacerations were excruciating but he really wanted rid of his tattoos.
07/08/22 7:34:04
"Sorry, must dash to the throne. Bit of a slack bladder."
05/08/22 7:04:35
"Do you like my Judge wig?""Yes, Mallard"
04/08/22 19:04:48, edited: 04/08/22 19:05:35
Ian the Iguana was very upset after seeing this.
01/08/22 7:01:25
There’s nothing worse than being hung over at work.
29/07/22 7:00:22
Shabbey Road.
21/07/22 10:14:25
"Let's get biscuits done!"
20/07/22 7:00:51
"It's the only way I can stop it crossing the road."
15/07/22 11:03:18
♪ Veal meat again... ♪
03/07/22 7:14:36