	This Week				All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	19	2			3069	5104	#44
Comments	3	1	2	#11	43	78	#60
Suggested Edits

	This Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	4	#33	2655	#69
Comments			7	#88
Suggested Edits

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	Don't worry they've been given guide dogs 04/06/20 8:59:18	9

	Elton John's taking these hair transplants too far now 25/05/20 22:03:00	9

	" This is amazing, I can't believe the atmosphere here and we're not too far from the front now" "Yeah but do we really need anything from B&Q " 05/05/20 9:58:37	9

	What virus? We're wearing Stella McCartney's spring catwalk collection 15/03/20 8:31:40	9

	Lift out of order again so I'm gonna sleep in the car. 20/01/20 12:06:04	9

	"Wow, that leaf came out of nowhere" 22/12/23 8:53:48	8

	"Best thing being a Park Ranger? Everyday is different, today I'm in a giant birds nest. Admittedly the rest of the week I've just been picking up dog shit" 30/10/23 18:13:50, suggested edits	8

	"So romantic, you thinking that too?" "Nope, I was thinking either you've put on weight or my flippers have shrunk" 20/11/22 13:18:18	8

	Gun...check✔️ Pumpkins ...check✔️ Shirt ... check✔️ 14/10/22 22:33:18	8

	Now the bells had fallen off Dave's jester costume he looked ridiculous 09/03/22 20:42:04	8

	"There you go love I've found you some hobbies to do while I'm on Caption.me" 16/01/22 12:35:55	8

	"And this is precisely why it takes more than two cats to change a light bulb" 14/09/21 20:51:26	8

	"Wasn't listening and agreed her bum did look big in it. What about you?" "She hasn't told me why yet. Less men here than last Sunday tho" 22/08/21 12:53:37	8

	"Told you I'd get you back for burying me in the sand" 11/08/21 10:08:19	8

	clever 3 - 7 years it said on the box and I did it in 8 hours flat. 12/07/21 15:26:45	8

	"Hello, single woman in their forties helpline, Cat speaking" 24/06/21 20:06:35	8

	This is your captain... if there is a scarecrow on board could you make yourself known to the cabin crew, failing that it's the usual doctor on board message 01/05/21 9:12:55	1 8
Nice caption, would just have stopped after cabin crew though. --Troompa Loompa
	Awww, you bloody blinked... it's ruined now 30/04/21 20:47:26	8

	And that's me and the wife at Royal Ascot Where? She's under the hat 16/04/21 15:59:51	8

	There goes the office stationary supplier. Gotta give him A4 effort 03/04/21 23:01:13	8

	Speed dating for farmers 06/03/21 15:06:51	8

	Priti Patel 'welcomes' a new MP to the Home Office Department 18/01/21 19:48:22	8

	lol The plastic surgery went well Mr Smith, although I always get confused which is Ant and which is Dec ... so I gave you the cheeky grin of one and the massive forehead of the other 18/01/21 7:22:00	8

	It started off as a wart on my finger 06/01/21 22:17:23	8

	When I was a lad this was all fields 05/01/21 16:48:37	8

	"I'll let go of your ear hair when you let go of my armpit hair' 19/08/20 14:54:25	8

	"Hello, can you hear me? There's good news and bad news, the good news is the fire's out" 18/08/20 21:02:53	8

	Mask of Tutankhamun bought off eBay could be a forgery say council 15/08/20 21:20:38	8

	" Come on boys let's can-can like our lives depended on it" 10/08/20 13:32:30	8

	"I'm not playing golf again at this Doctor Dolittle Golf and country club. Crocodiles on the fairway, rattle snakes in the bunkers and someone said there's a tiger in the woods" 05/08/20 20:27:07	1 8

	"Mum, please can we just wait till the barber's reopen" 21/07/20 8:13:08	8

	Since he played a dire wolf in Game of Thrones he's become a right diva 20/07/20 9:40:28	8

	Cunning worms confuse early birds with testing questions 13/07/20 18:46:19	8

	Kids going back to school... slowly 18/06/20 0:07:46	8

	Bonio, Bonio, wherefore art thou Bonio? 17/06/20 16:59:25	8

	lol 🎵The wheels on the Bush go round and round🎵 15/06/20 21:26:06	8

	So i have 9 lives and you have 1 life and thats why you better not piss me off, do I make myself clear 09/06/20 9:27:39	1 8
Too late from the looks of it. --Willie Johnson
	Hi I've been laid off by British airways so I'd like to volunteer to be a ventilator. 29/03/20 18:41:53	8

	Dont stare at the hand, don't stare at the hand, change the subject ... i won a teddy on one of those grab machines last week 25/03/20 19:22:10	8

	lol Enjoy my laxative laced cone Mr Gull and to all you laughing back there get ready to run!! 12/03/20 9:05:08	8

	lol Not funny, Funny Bean, hurry and take the bloody photo, my wings are killing me. 31/01/20 8:55:24	8

	I buy Vaseline and cucumbers together so the cashier doesn't think I'm some sort of weirdo, like a vegan! 28/01/20 9:02:01	8

	No,I don't think it's been a weird 1st date just too tired to come in for a coffee, so if you'd just untie me I'll be on my way 10/12/19 13:33:52	8

	Catgpt 09/12/23 9:57:12	7

	"Breathe in hun, paparazzi" 14/06/23 20:09:19	7

	Dave's best April Fools prank ever 01/04/23 8:41:49	7

	Handbags-at-dawn 05/03/23 8:51:22	7

	lol "Boss, I think the trolley collector just quit" 04/02/23 12:08:27	7

	"Sorry Sir, we slightly mixed up your order" "Explains the jam in my coffee" 22/01/23 12:58:40	7

	You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a Nigerian Prince scam 29/12/22 21:48:49	7

	"Wow, when you tell them to stay they really do don't they" 06/03/22 20:53:11	7

	As not to offend anyone this is our school Christmas nativity scene this year 14/02/22 20:21:22	7

	"King? Me? But I've not had time to prepare" 01/02/22 16:15:17	7

	It's the 15th time we've walked past them Sandra, you sure their checking us out? 19/01/22 12:08:07	7

	"Come on Agnes you've not even opened your lawnmower or window cleaning set yet" 16/01/22 12:41:39	7

	"Mr Walters, which bit of I'm from social services don't you understand?" 09/01/22 21:16:24	7

	My Dad Had Oporasn. Then Mum fell deepley in luv with surjon. I now attend private school, have foreign holidays five times a year, and see Dad every third Saturday. 28/12/21 14:11:27	7

	"What seems to be the problem?" "I'm getting threats off the tooth fairy" 04/11/21 8:18:42	7

	Boom... 9 lives muther*uckers, I do whatever I want innit 07/10/21 22:15:59	7

	"I hate it Dave, what happened to the cute bunnies and rocking horse we planned for his nursery?" 12/08/21 13:40:20	7

	... And another vowel please Rachel 02/08/21 20:31:23	7

	"What did you say love?" "I said don't leave the queue whatever you do" 27/06/21 14:40:57	7

	Fruit and veg suicide rate up to 5 a day 30/05/21 21:38:43	7

	Dave came face to face with his biggest phobia... pubic hair in the shower drain 05/05/21 9:32:09	7

	Are the fish biting today? What do you think happened to my other arm! 03/05/21 21:30:54	7

	Inhale Mary's 27/04/21 12:12:02	7

	Sure I heard a bum note 24/04/21 20:32:29	7

	lol I'm confused, am I calling him daddy now or sticking with arsehole sperm donor? 21/04/21 19:13:24	7

	"Eve, is it just me or are these forbidden fruit trees looking more and more tempting everyday" 26/02/21 20:53:23	1 7
Ooh, put that snake away. You're going to need a bigger fig leaf. --Mauris Iocus
	Roo'd 22/01/21 8:26:36	7

	lol Sharks, the main reason there are so many unfinished symphonies 22/10/20 18:59:49	7

	"Okay, so i can tell you've done something wrong, I just haven't found it yet" 21/08/20 15:16:23	7

	"I'm sorry Mr Watts but you've failed your driving test" 30/07/20 9:30:51	7

	Curiosity killed the cat, despite the rabbits CPR attempts 26/07/20 16:23:18	7

	"It's just I wish my Dad's last dying words weren't I'll come back and haunt you if you marry him" 23/07/20 12:25:47	7

	" Sorry again for shouting out Sindy's name in the throws of passion" 21/07/20 21:31:48	7

	I found the Chelsea Flower show particularly disappointing this year 14/07/20 12:43:43	7

	Dave, are you ashamed that I'm your girlfriend? 04/07/20 20:15:50	7

	clever Dave and Sue were an exact match on the dating site. Dave liked long walks and Sue was a lazy cow 28/06/20 12:13:03	7

	What's not to like... cooks,cracking body and can still get you a beer if you've mislaid the bottle opener 22/06/20 16:47:16	7

	Argos back open again i see 12/06/20 20:01:26	7

	Sitting Sitting,waiting Sitting,waiting,patiently Sitting,waiting,patiently,planning The total annihilation of the 1st poor unfortunate car to enter the monkey enclosure when the safari park eventually opens again 11/06/20 18:27:26	7

	This game needs spicing up... send on the woodworm 23/05/20 12:35:14	7

	Dave had a fear of water but never let it stop him living life to the full 13/05/20 9:19:54	7

	🎵Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning, Very, very frightening me. (Galileo) Galileo. (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro Magnifico-o-o-o-o.🎵 15/04/20 22:18:05	7

	clever Oh so it was a phone in your pocket and you weren't pleased to see me 19/02/20 19:44:16	7

	Nope, still can't find it.. 05/02/20 8:44:54	7

	I've been on the cabbage diet for 2 weeks and haven't had any noticeable side effects 06/01/20 21:41:18	7

	Longest Wimbledon Tennis Final Ever 13/01/24 11:51:43	6

	"Dave you're crazy. Nobody escapes prison on a Tuesday, it's apple crumble tonight" 08/01/24 17:56:58	6

	"And you wonder why we're not allowed in the house" 05/11/23 20:55:33	6

	"No British Gas, I will not let you break in to install a prepayment meter" 03/02/23 21:22:03	6

	Superman and Spiderman on vacation 25/01/23 20:48:35	6

	Inconsiderate bastard, now I'll never know how the story ended, thought Tiddles 17/01/23 17:24:30, edited: 17/01/23 17:25:45	6

	Ungrateful fish, you try to feed them healthy food and they throw it back in your face 08/12/22 12:16:10	6

	"Good news, we've found nurses willing to work for what we pay. If you keep still they'll start with your suppository" 10/11/22 9:45:33	6

	"This one's off our new album, if you know the words join in as we can't remember them" 31/03/22 17:20:07	6

	Oh shit a ticket inspector, stay calm and try to blend in 09/03/22 20:20:36	6

	Okay admittedly as mermaid girlfriends go she was no Daryl Hannah 03/03/22 20:07:39	6

	This is Tommy. Tommy has lots of phobias he's trying to overcome. One is balloons, others include grass, ribbon, the colour blue, and having his photo taken. 08/02/22 8:38:47	6

more captions

last comments (total: 155)

James, that's hilarious 😂. I'm going to use that joke.

Crunchy Chords

05/02/22
12:02am

comment on caption:
"I'm really considering going back to being a man again"

"But why?"

"I'd be on £2 more an hour" [Mark Wilson]

''gotten'' - You must be joking - This implies that at one stage in her career she could act.

[anon]

08/02/22
8:48am

comment on caption:
Admittedly Jennifer Aniston has aged well but her acting has gotten wooden [Mark Wilson]

What if "gotten wooden" was an improvement?

Willie Johnson

08/02/22
10:38pm

comment on caption:
Admittedly Jennifer Aniston has aged well but her acting has gotten wooden [Mark Wilson]

You should never worry our bollocks, especially ones that are "just talking".

[anon]

21/02/22
4:00pm

comment on caption:
"I'm sure I can hear voices coming from inside the balloon"

"Don't worry their just talking bollocks" [Mark Wilson]

Lol. No, it doesn't, and it doesn't have to either.

Oops, too late!

Glyn Evans

26/05/22
9:35am

comment on caption:
“what happens in Isle of Man, stays in Isle of Man” [Mark Wilson]

"If you're going to listen to your Mum all the time, maybe you should have married her instead? - I'm sure you'd make a happy couple nit picking everything together as you do all the time"

Glyn Evans

30/04/23
9:49am

comment on caption:
"I'm lovin it"

"Who the hell are you calling 'IT' only been married half hour, Mother was right about you" [Mark Wilson]

Dave replied "Shut up, I'm not boring. Anyway, I'll have plenty of mates, you'll see. Now do your job furry baby, it's why I bought you to act as a talking point and draw them in"

Glyn Evans

15/05/23
8:15pm