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“They’ve been like this ever since my darling husband slammed the car door shut on them, on the plus side they are great for pleasuring myself with.”
“They’ve been like this ever since my darling husband slammed the car door shut on them, on the plus side they are great for pleasuring myself with.” photo | portfolio
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Paul Reeve Vote score: 5324Paul Reeve

“They’ve been like this ever since my darling husband slammed the car door shut on them, on the plus side they are great for pleasuring myself with.”

Wed 15:39:14

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Adoorable. --Scrijjy Doo
Stephen Bean Vote score: 7649Stephen Bean

Thank you Boris for ending tupperware parties.

Wed 12:02:04

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 679Mark Wilson

Dont stare at the hand, don't stare at the hand, change the subject ... i won a teddy on one of those grab machines last week

Wed 19:22:10

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 14277Dan Nicholls

T'upper class

Wed 13:53:06

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21516Ian Skelding

" ... and trying to get the lids off these things has extended two of my fingers by 3 inches."

Wed 12:06:53

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 7804Dave Bryan

''I'm his favourite wife, fatso, and don't you forget it.''

Wed 12:04:13

 
Generic RedHead Vote score: 603Generic RedHead

Behind that smile, Gary is desperately missing the football.

Wed 17:55:18

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 22732Michael Winner

*thinks* “Must not get caught looking at her tits, must not get caught looking at her tits…”

Wed 12:00:29

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 22732Michael Winner

"First of all I'd like to thank you all for attending this first meeting of Social-distancing Club..."

Wed 12:08:49

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20078John Glover

Dave is more than happy to supply his sperm to all of you unfortunate ladies. However, it can't all be done in the next half hour, and you really do not need containers that large.

Wed 12:44:52

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6432The Wolf

Hmmmm. Someone is playing footsie with me. It can't be my wife because she's stood next to me, which means it's her sister or one of her friends. Please be Laura...Please be Laura. I know it's wrong to think that but please please please be Laura, she's soooo fit. What the hell? how are they biting? Oh shit false alarm. That f_cking dog.

Wed 12:10:53

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6432The Wolf

“…and then you push them up, position your hand like this to properly wedge them in there, and then remove your fingers…and that’s how you successfully solve your Husband’s pile problem and as you can see, Dave is sitting comfortably. Right, who is for a sandwich?”

Wed 12:01:54

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1102Karen Oakenfull

The guests wished that Marcia would stop and just put a f*cking lid on it.

Wed 12:25:21

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6432The Wolf

If only they knew I wasn't wearing any trousers...

Wed 12:16:08

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 349Gavin Smithers

"So this is my prosthetic hand, and my old one's in this container".

Wed 19:08:04

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6209Glyn Evans

"That was so close - it's a shame we couldn't have filled the tupperware before the police broke up the BBQ"

Wed 13:14:16

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30910Tony Edwards

Clawdia

Wed 12:03:43

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 7804Dave Bryan

''Is it some kind of insect?''

''You're getting warmer.''

Wed 12:03:05

 
Molly R Vote score: 1485Molly R

What do you mean, they're natural? Everything else here is plastic (including our smiles).

Wed 12:01:38

 1
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10082Neil Mackenzie

In this experiment Dave is looking to his right, in the previous experiment he was looking to his left. So to recap we have had the Ladies with the biggest tits sitting on his left and his right hand side. What will happen when we sit one on his left and one on his right?

Wed 16:32:57

 
Anthony Smith Vote score: 70Anthony Smith

"Now this one's different. It's not a flip top, it's a screw down!"

Wed 15:59:45

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 223alexandra ball

The containers aren't only the thing that's plastic

Wed 15:23:05

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5190Vivvy En

"Julie, would you like to be next to inspect my lunchbox?"

Wed 13:21:55

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 17021Troompa Loompa

Thankfully Loose Woman can carry on broadcasting, via YouTube, because they all live together, with George Osborne.

Wed 12:53:09

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 30910Tony Edwards

..........and they are great for collecting the fluid as a result of stimulating the G-spot.

Wed 12:47:52

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 7649Stephen Bean

"Don't worry about my hand, it's just tupperware-and-tear arthritis."

Wed 12:25:25

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1102Karen Oakenfull

Bob and Carol’s “Wine and plastic tub testing party” was a great success!

Wed 12:19:52

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8871Mr Dome

After Sarah made Claire feel inadequate for not losing as much weight during lockdown as the others, the Jess found it hard to container laughter

Wed 12:10:05

 
Rachel P Vote score: 948Rachel P

The invite said " Surprise party for my wonderful husband Steve, please keep it tight lipped"

Wed 12:09:59

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 10739Vanessa the Guesser

Jane was the first to use the toilet, thus breaking the seal.

Wed 12:01:25

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 679Mark Wilson

Judging by their containers I think they were expecting you to put on a bigger spread love

Wed 19:18:30

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 349Gavin Smithers

"So I can't drink out of a wine glass, but I'm very good at getting stuff out of the back of cupboards".

Wed 19:04:52

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 1865Scrijjy Doo

And then you burp it so the severed body parts stay fresh.

Wed 17:56:46

 
Rachel P Vote score: 948Rachel P

When the music stops, whoever remains standing must choose an item to take home.

Wed 14:02:54

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3365Stu Dent

Mother lifts the lid on empty stores containers during UK crisis.

Wed 12:47:32

 
The Wolf Vote score: 6432The Wolf

If I'd never got married, I'd be playing my XBox now.

Wed 12:29:45

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 1865Scrijjy Doo

Orgies are still okay as long as you wear proper protection.

Wed 12:17:06

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3365Stu Dent

Social cleansing

Wed 12:17:00

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8871Mr Dome

Accountants. Wow

Wed 12:11:14

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 7649Stephen Bean

*thinks* Hope no-one notices I’m wanking into one of these tubs.

Wed 12:06:55

 1
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