Vanessa the Guesser
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | |||||||
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| Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 6 | 8 | #14 | 20 | 23 | #15 | 9127 | 17661 | #11 |
| Comments | 2 | 3 | #9 | 2 | 3 | #9 | 156 | 245 | #29 |
| Forum Posts | 3 | 8 | |||||||
caption quota: 53
caption vote quota: 104
caption votes given since joining: 6,744
comment quota: 17
comment vote quota: 100
comment votes given since joining: 543
captions
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He's in for a shock. There's a conductor on board today. 27/04/19 12:09:49 |
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I feel lucky to have won as I was up against some brilliant high scoring captions this month. Thank you for the votes, supervotes and kind comments! --Vanessa the Guesser
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08/08/20 8:05:57 |
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Thanks everybody! I really appreciate all the support and the lovely uplifting comments. :) --Vanessa the Guesser
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25/07/20 12:02:49 |
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Icy too --Willie Johnson
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11/02/19 12:01:55 |
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Thank you for the votes and kind messages, they are much appreciated. Hope you all have a great weekend! --Vanessa the Guesser
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20/09/18 8:05:14 |
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I'm so excited to win! Thanks for the votes and comments. --Vanessa the Guesser
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25/03/21 20:00:07 |
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Thank you for the votes and kind comments. I hope you all get the chance to put your feet up and have a great Easter! --Vanessa the Guesser
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18/04/20 12:11:28 |
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11/07/19 8:18:11 |
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30/04/19 12:21:58 |
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Parenting tip #21 - Do not allow your children to go up the chimney in search of Santa. 26/04/22 8:17:06 |
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"Is the top one Preacher Man?" 20/10/21 20:00:24 |
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Yes, he was, he was, ooh, yes, he was --Dot Old
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19/01/20 13:30:10 |
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05/02/22 8:00:09 |
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20/06/19 20:01:49 |
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The photographer was slammed for airbrushing the basketballs from this picture. 15/06/21 8:48:11 |
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27/06/20 12:04:09 |
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Phone Bogx --Flo .
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I don't know about buses but 3 old men came at once. 10/05/20 12:09:22 |
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Some of us still love a hairy Regina. 04/05/19 20:15:39 |
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24/04/19 20:00:24 |
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26/02/22 12:03:50 |
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Poor Bacon. They never managed to cure him. 11/04/21 13:24:36 |
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Who you gonna call? Ghostbuskers 21/03/20 12:00:10 |
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There is no Dana. Only Zuul. --Scrijjy Doo
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18/03/20 20:27:47 |
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09/03/20 12:00:12 |
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I didn't realise it was Leslie Ash Wednesday 04/03/20 8:03:15 |
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Very funny. Not an easy photo to caption. --Dave Bryan
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27/12/19 20:00:11 |
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You can usually spot penguins by their peculiar gates. 02/02/18 9:11:01 |
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03/09/21 8:19:05 |
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24/08/21 8:00:37 |
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05/06/21 8:16:15 |
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"Shit..." 22/01/21 12:33:21 |
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"Waiter, there's a hare in my soup. What's it doing there?" "I believe it's doing the backstroke sir." --Willie Johnson
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They think it's all over.. It is now. 26/10/20 20:03:22 |
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25/07/20 12:01:16 |
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16/04/20 20:03:38 |
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03/04/20 20:00:09 |
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"I'm just off out clubbing now, mum!" 13/03/20 20:02:58 |
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She'll be 'Dancing on the sealing' --Mr Dome
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30/12/19 16:56:53 |
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The clitoris fancy dress party was poorly attended as hardly anyone could find it. 21/12/19 13:31:38 |
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28/12/18 12:00:41 |
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When you need to look fetching. 05/10/18 13:36:36 |
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George is really coming out of his shell. 02/07/18 20:00:28 |
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02/02/18 12:30:31 |
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10/04/17 12:30:43 |
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I sent all my kids to boarding school. 25/02/17 12:00:14 |
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Best caption for some time in my 'umble opinionG --Gf j
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It's pointless Richard Osman and Alexander Armstrong trying to hide on holiday. 10/01/17 8:21:51 |
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My first laugh out loud moment of the day. Thanks! :D --Pussy Galore
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It was a people carrier before it shrank in the rain. 09/03/22 12:01:17 |
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29/09/21 8:04:56 |
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"I thought your salad days were over." --Willie Johnson
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01/08/21 8:16:42 |
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"You cheating son-of-a-bitch.." 19/07/21 20:04:39 |
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That's nothing compared to what's on the chair. You're going to have to straight flush it. --Willie Johnson
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I see they've got the receivers in. 02/07/21 8:15:10 |
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Maybe the house is in receivership? --Willie Johnson
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I fear he's being groomed online. 13/11/20 20:14:10 |
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"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Marilyn Monroe" 31/10/20 20:12:44 |
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"Ignore him. He's just a little pigment of your imagination." 24/10/20 21:04:17 |
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This will mean curtains for their marriage. 23/09/20 8:30:40 |
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06/09/20 12:00:14 |
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25/08/20 20:00:08 |
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"I'll just try on the milkman's shoes whilst he's upstairs talking to mummy." 16/08/20 12:08:01 |
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It's a terrible thing when your wife runs off with the milkman, you really do miss him. Nod to Led Dawson. 😂😂 --Chris Halliwell
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05/08/20 8:55:25 |
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"Sorry, I'm straining to hear you" 27/06/20 12:05:59 |
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"Your work's been a little sloppy recently." 15/05/20 12:12:01 |
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He's hoping to move to a new firm --Mr Dome
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Vets report a sharp increase in over-walked dogs suffering from exhaustion. 04/04/20 12:03:09 |
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Government fears outbreak of Evian Flu. 15/03/20 8:00:17 |
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And Edam is the only cheese that is made backwards --stone face
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19/02/20 20:23:57 |
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09/10/19 8:00:32 |
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21/08/19 8:00:10 |
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17/07/19 8:00:07 |
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"My wife has a matching beaver." 18/03/19 12:10:10 |
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13/10/18 12:00:11 |
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"By the way, I don't share needles." 15/08/18 12:03:27 |
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14/08/18 20:11:45 |
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She won't stay unseeded for long. 01/08/18 20:13:06 |
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First game ever to end, Love / Love --Mauris Iocus
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We need to be careful. There's a guy over there with one stone. 25/03/17 8:01:59 |
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30/01/17 12:22:18 |
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31/12/16 20:00:29 |
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"Pity, I just fancied a shag." 14/06/22 8:00:09 |
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"Can I sit next to you?" 16/04/22 8:24:14 |
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I'm not giving you my waste measurements. 17/12/21 12:07:23 |
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Today's rail replacement will be a Double Decker. 23/10/21 12:29:47 |
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And it's better for the environment than going by Aero-plane. --Glad You Remember
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26/07/21 20:00:15 |
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"I think we're being followed by The Three Little Pigs." 31/05/21 20:24:32 |
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He'd never been the same since the split. 30/05/21 20:00:15 |
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She thought he was a good catch. 13/04/21 20:00:19 |
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He'll do in a pinch. --Willie Johnson
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27/03/21 20:01:01 |
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"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." 16/02/21 8:16:15 |
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"How long have you been engaged?" 15/06/20 20:00:14 |
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22/04/20 12:07:44 |
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Most relationships involve a bit of gibbon take. 23/01/20 8:22:06 |
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Now THAT'S a reseeding hairline 15/01/20 20:00:30 |
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05/01/20 20:00:23 |
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"Ok, now you'll just feel a little scratch" 05/11/19 8:11:52 |
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You could end up with a Nazi injury. 06/09/19 8:01:13 |
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15/08/19 20:16:33 |
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My girlfriend's not interested insects. 14/06/19 8:03:09 |
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What about your ant? --stone face
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"Does my butt look big in this?" 01/06/19 20:46:52 |
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"This food's a bit too rich for me." 24/03/19 12:10:12 |
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Don't mock big-breasted women. They need all the support they can get. 19/03/19 20:00:29 |
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You did it! Nice caption. --Greg Curtis
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19/03/19 8:00:06 |
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31/01/19 20:00:13 |
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"There's no way I'm kissing his ring." 12/01/19 20:31:12 |
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"There's a faulty gene in my family. Most of the women are carriers." 15/10/18 8:01:59 |
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email us
It's been years since he had a hit.
8:59pm
comment on caption:
Leo Slayer [Vanessa the Guesser]
True, but would've thought his preferred weapon was some soft rock
10:53pm
comment on caption:
Leo Slayer [Vanessa the Guesser]
🎵...potty like it's 1999.
9:09pm
comment on caption:
No-one said it was potty time..? [Vanessa the Guesser]
Crapping for the NHS might have the same impact as applause, even though in both instances people mean well.
Hopefully fixing a sponge on a stick isn't Newton using a metaphor for fixing the NHS, even if it is before his time and he can apparently see into the future.
9:12pm
comment on caption:
"Now where did I put that sponge on a stick? I have an increasing desire to crap for the NHS" [Vanessa the Guesser]
He still took a real basting
9:58pm
comment on caption:
Makes a nice change from turkey on Boxing Day. [Vanessa the Guesser]
They're not centaurs at all, they're really the sea clops
8:23am
comment on caption:
My Big Fat Greek Mythology Wedding [Vanessa the Guesser]
It’s hard cheese however the Democrats think putting it back in the thermonuclear oven might soften it up.
5:09pm
comment on caption:
Make America Grate Again [Vanessa the Guesser]
Sorry Vanessa, just missed voting. Great caption.
12:09pm
comment on caption:
"Get down, Shep!" [Vanessa the Guesser]
Reminds me of the old Beano joke:
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
8:31am
comment on caption:
"Do you mind? I'm just getting dressed." [Vanessa the Guesser]
The Carboard Captioneer is completely recyclable just like his jokes.
8:39pm
comment on caption:
The Cardboard Captioneer comes complete with interchangeable tabbed paper clothes for 8.00 am, 12.00 and 8.00 pm: pyjamas, dressing gowns, string vests and much more. Exclusive offer for June - red negligee with matching crotchless panties (one size fits all). [Vanessa the Guesser]