super vote: ( left this week)
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"Don't make me draw my gun."
11/06/13 7:38:28
05/06/13 19:00:09
Pick it, lick it, roll it and flick it.
05/06/13 11:07:10
Backseat divers.
02/06/13 19:00:20
Convenience food
01/06/13 8:09:12
Some people don't like to walk under a bladder.
29/05/13 19:53:17
*Thinks* "Damn- why do I always get the Dalek with the wonky wheel?"
14/05/13 11:45:24
Ground Forces
13/05/13 11:05:35
Alas, Geppetto died before he could finish work on Pinocchio's girlfriend.
11/05/13 12:30:30
"Smile Hitler."
05/05/13 19:17:35
Slumdog Pillionaires
01/05/13 7:40:51
...and then take the Tube from the Elephant and Asshole
25/04/13 19:00:48
"Bejesus, I could do with a pint- my horse just came in fifth."
25/04/13 7:00:43
This is a Nun-Smoking area
25/04/13 7:00:11
Post-it Traumatic Stress Disorder
24/04/13 7:02:06
Guide Dogs for the Colour Blind.
21/04/13 19:05:52
"Bloody hell Marjorie, look at the Stretch marks on those horses!"
18/04/13 7:06:24
Rear view mirror
18/04/13 7:04:45
"...slowly, and surely, they drew their plans against us."
17/04/13 19:03:47
To boldly row, where no man has rowed before
14/04/13 19:03:05
Sundae Trading
14/04/13 7:35:26
"Cone-ichiwa!"
14/04/13 7:00:43
World War 2, France, a captured airman is made to prove his nationality with the 'Can Can' test.
12/04/13 19:51:44
May contain traces of nuts
09/04/13 11:00:14
" Are you sitting comfortably? well I'll begin, "Once upon a time, a long, long while ago in a far off land, there lived a little girl called Beatrix Potter.."
07/04/13 12:08:16
and they lived happily ever after to a ripe old age.
04/04/13 11:00:32
Sex a peel.
04/04/13 11:00:19
Is it a Toyota Crayola?
04/04/13 7:01:16
"Play your cards right and you may also have me for receiving swollen goods later."
03/04/13 11:33:50
It was quiet. Too quiet... I should have seen the signs.
02/04/13 11:00:59
"We're gonna need a bigger catapult."
30/03/13 20:02:31
After the Fingerbobs millions dried up, Fingermouse put his sister on the game.
30/03/13 12:04:24
And I thought Jesus was against women getting stoned.
24/03/13 14:13:51
Dave came 1st in the fancy dress competition...The jammy c**t.
22/03/13 20:01:38
No doubt about it, it was an ugly baby
18/03/13 20:08:23
Police believe they have discovered the body of Shoregar
18/03/13 8:11:45
Santa develops Turret's Syndrome.
14/03/13 12:03:34
Gran Theft Auto.
12/03/13 12:00:10
A New Edition to the Family
10/03/13 20:06:20
Richard had a head for tights.
08/03/13 12:50:03
That Spray Tan..really works..
02/03/13 8:10:07
Fin and Tonic
26/02/13 20:00:07
Chinese philosophy whilst waiting for new hardware store to open. "Just be and queue."
24/02/13 12:08:39
Don Quioské.
22/02/13 12:01:36
As a child, Tarzan was a bloody show-off on 'Bring Your Pets To School' day.
20/02/13 13:41:56
"We'll get you out mate... don't Fret."
19/02/13 8:00:57
Sadly for Cinderella. When the clock struck midnight, she went back to being an A-Cup.
17/02/13 21:31:05
Jack in the Blocks.
05/02/13 21:21:00
A Big Mac and small fry.
04/02/13 20:23:05
"We'd better get a hire van""What we really need mate, is a higher bridge"
04/02/13 9:25:10
Puffer Fish
03/02/13 8:00:10
Before Arnold Schwarzenegger agreed to do the role, The Terminator was set to star Charles Hawtrey.
29/01/13 13:46:59
"Stop crying you big baby, i said how much to paint my front door and you said £50 so we shook on it".
28/01/13 20:01:35
Rod Hull demonstrates how to casually walk past an Emu, before catching it unaware and sticking his arm up it's arse.
18/01/13 20:27:34
There's a sucker born every minute.
17/01/13 20:38:13
"...and let that be a warning to all of the other construction workers who stray onto my land..."
17/01/13 12:28:36
Marathong man.
14/01/13 12:50:31
"And this weeks highest climber is...ME"
13/01/13 12:03:21
Staff at the home encouraged Ethel to smoke because it helped to disguise the smell of piss.
11/01/13 20:32:27
Britney (33) celebrates 100 days drug free.
11/01/13 20:00:13
In a rare alignment of the planets, Pluto eclipses the Moon.
09/01/13 8:29:00
He could have another art attack unless he loses weight.
07/01/13 20:00:08
"OK, I've hit the space bar, now what..."
21/12/12 8:00:10
Photochop.
18/12/12 20:00:08
"Take it back, I wanted a full English."
14/12/12 20:10:24
Breakfast will be ready in a minute torso.
14/12/12 20:02:56
🎵 5 golden flames, 4 calling alarms, 3 burnt presents, 2 pampered dogs and a charred thing that was a fir tree. 🎵
11/12/12 8:45:26
He hoped his daughter would grow up older, budweiser.
09/12/12 13:22:39
The Great Barrier Roof
07/12/12 20:04:25
Ever since I won the lotto last year, a lot of old faces have been coming out of the woodwork.
07/12/12 8:26:18
Don't look so worried Mrs Jones, Dr Shipman is very experienced, he knows exactly what he is doing."
06/12/12 20:27:37
"No, this is 'A'. You want the flat upstairs, 36B."
05/12/12 12:04:25
Eyefull Tower
01/12/12 20:07:04
Magician's assistant urgently required.
28/11/12 20:22:41
Best Before : 16-AUG-77
27/11/12 16:19:37
Frank couldn't believe his rotten luck, £60 and all she wanted to do was lay in bed and watch the football.
20/11/12 21:27:45
Bill regretted his Organ Donor Card falling out when he went in for a broken leg!
19/11/12 20:17:52
Little Dead Riding Hood
18/11/12 21:03:31
It is the only way that Dave's wife can stop him from going on caption.me
13/11/12 20:25:39
"You could get stoned, smoking that!"
11/11/12 20:08:05
"Trip Advisor was right, no bloody atmosphere whatsoever."
10/11/12 12:00:22
Pea-kaboo.
09/11/12 20:03:34
Rob tries out his new mental detector.
09/11/12 8:20:15
Not everyone is cut out for life in the Royal family.
08/11/12 20:00:59
Checking Faithbook.
04/11/12 20:00:06
Cardinal Sin.
04/11/12 12:00:09
Felix had to be Force fed.
29/10/12 12:00:52
Too many latte nights
29/10/12 8:00:35
Mad cow Denise.
28/10/12 12:04:02
The Abu Hamza Arms
23/10/12 19:16:02
They removed $1990 in ten dollar bills from Freds ass... he knew he wasn't feeling too grand.
14/10/12 19:06:35
'Thing' sure had his pick of girlfriends
12/10/12 7:01:05
Shoplifting deterrents, Abu Dhabi.
12/10/12 7:00:50
"My mate says he came to Bangkok and caught crabs but I haven't had a bite all day!"
11/10/12 12:49:22
"It just needs a kick start."
10/10/12 19:00:08
Pete had spent the last six months 'pumping Ian' and was beginning to realize his mistake.
09/10/12 19:46:41
Alex through the cooking glass.
08/10/12 19:10:54
She's going to take a dive in the Forth.
06/10/12 9:01:54
Love is in the Hair.
05/10/12 19:00:08
"I'm the starter at the Paralympics 100 metres for the hard of hearing."
04/10/12 20:13:41
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