"His body may have gone, but his sole and spirit have gone to a wetter place."

30/10/14 12:15:24

A Fistful of Doners

22/10/14 7:01:00

"Careful guys, I think they're loaded."

07/02/15 8:54:34

Someone hadn't paid the mandatory entry fee to the Annual Whistleblowers Convention.

04/09/14 19:00:49

Albert Swinestein

24/08/14 20:14:10

Lester Piggout

15/10/14 11:00:10

lol

"Somme thing for the weekend, sir?"

03/09/14 22:03:16

lol

"Grandpa, what's a 69?" asked Jimmy after overhearing one of the swimmers' propositions.
"Oh, it's one of these but without the flake."

20/07/14 7:23:17

Her chances of survival were necks to nothing.

26/08/14 11:06:47

The fart jokes abruptly stopped when realisation set in that John had actually been dead for several hours.

12/11/14 12:44:33

Un-Dress Rehearsal

12/07/14 19:04:14

lol

This wasn't what he expected when he ordered the side order of naan.

03/09/14 14:36:06

After his attacker was taken to court, it was clear that she had no case.

16/07/14 7:32:55

Dragnet.

23/10/14 11:00:43

For Sale: Mobile with one previous owner, crack across screen.

16/07/17 19:01:09

Vandal-eyes

14/07/17 11:06:07

"And this a photo of me and my ex, Ray."

19/11/14 13:06:06

She was developing a smoker's coif.

23/10/14 11:00:12

"It's amazing. Her breath seems to follow you around the room."

12/10/14 7:01:36

"Ewe shall not pass!"

08/10/14 21:30:12

"Psst! Who invited the pig? I thought we were Jewish?"

08/09/14 7:01:04

As a dedicated art student, Adam spent most of his time in collage.

22/07/14 11:06:35

As the two younger men walked away, they could scarcely believe they had just been mugged and stripped by an old man and his grandson.

20/07/14 7:02:55

Alan felt quite dashing in his new suit.

23/11/14 21:28:38

"It's no use, Hector, no matter how many chin-ups I do, I just can't seem to beef up."

04/11/14 12:00:55

"Let her R.I.P.!"

11/09/14 7:02:43

"Chris, Chris. There he is, he's been copying captions."

(Nod to 21:10 ;))

04/09/14 23:04:54

Jeff's first child was delivered by sea section.

14/02/15 12:53:54

Chung was described in his dating profile as having a keen interest in water sports and a distinguishing sense of fashion.

15/11/14 9:43:52

Fountain of Youths

16/10/14 11:00:30

Neighbearhood Watch

09/10/14 7:00:23

Bird of Spray

28/09/14 19:02:17

lol

"Excuse me sir, do you have any idea what speed you were doing back there?"

26/09/14 23:11:29

Former Jimmy Saville impersonator opts for something that kids might find a little less scary.

23/09/14 11:00:45

The Brighton Bomber

08/08/14 21:51:38

"It's not the size of the portion, but what you do with it that counts."

08/08/14 10:17:56

Critics said that Ms. Perry was running thin on material these days.

09/07/14 12:12:46

In medieval times, it was custom to have one's enemies' faces carved into the toilet facilities thereby submitting them to the utmost humiliation while simultaneously having them kiss one's arse.

09/07/14 7:18:47

creative

Despite the stricter controls, Area 51 was still proving a popular destination for Martian stag dos.

26/02/15 20:24:37

"I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me."

29/10/14 1:45:41

"We're gonna need another coat..."

23/10/14 19:07:44

"Be careful, here come a pair of bent coppers."

17/10/14 21:53:57

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but it appears that the company has gone into administration and, frankly, we're all bust."

20/09/14 7:47:37

Much 'Airdo About Nothing

15/09/14 11:00:28

By the third day of the French Garlic and Cheese festival, desperate measures were needed.

03/09/14 21:57:59

"The lengths some people go to to get better wifi reception..."

03/09/14 11:24:47

When Adam promised that he would turn over a new leaf, Eve hadn't known that he'd meant a change of underwear.

23/07/14 11:12:58

Dave had gone into January's Ikea bedding sale with all the naivety of the average, sane, twenty-something year old man. He was lucky to come out alive.

16/07/14 7:07:17

"I know you're my twin sister and everything, but I do wish you weren't so negative."

11/11/14 12:21:04

"I don't know about you, but I'm bloody Frisian out here."
"I'm fine, I remembered to bring a Jersey with me."

30/10/14 11:01:03

"He might look friendly, but those are souvenirs from every tourist he's stabbed."

25/10/14 11:05:40

Peace and Goodwill to all Mankini

23/10/14 8:30:32

After weeks of painstaking skull and facial reconstruction, Time Team's new modeller admits to doing a little L.S.D. to take the edge off.

16/10/14 9:29:33

One day, Colin pumped up the air pressure in his tyres a little too far.

10/10/14 10:27:10

Parts of the U.S.A. have become extremely polarised.

06/10/14 9:42:38

"Oh no, not mower rain!"

09/09/14 11:00:17

A scene from the Moo Testament.

08/09/14 7:14:18

"Should have taken the Escher-later."

07/09/14 7:06:27

Just another New Cage religion?

31/08/14 18:35:02

Fatima wasn't even Islamic, she just had really bad halitosis.

12/08/14 8:18:07

Halfway through, Brian realised that he was totally screwed.

09/08/14 19:00:30

Help! Damson in Distress!

24/07/14 14:25:44

"I'm not convinced this product exists. It's only 20% proof."

11/10/14 21:28:29

"Next time this E.T. fucker comes back, I'm getting footage."

24/09/14 11:00:43

With so many cat photos, some are considering renaming the website caption.meow

23/09/14 0:33:11

"Now that's what I call Park and Ride."

21/09/14 11:00:22

Genghis Can

13/09/14 19:42:55

White Trailer Slash

11/09/14 21:16:46

For better or for Worz-el Gummidge.

08/09/14 23:26:30

Wreck'n'balls

06/09/14 7:00:30

She's clearly fed up waiting.

04/09/14 11:04:34

The council's newly installed paedo-trap sees another pervert behind bars.

09/08/14 19:06:22

Scarap Beetle

07/08/14 11:15:39

He was the local bone barrow donor.

29/07/14 9:32:49

After waking up one morning, he briefly remembered his girlfriend had given him an ultimatum about leaving his stuff all over the floor.

22/07/14 11:10:28

Womb Raider II: The Cradle of Life

15/07/14 1:04:54

"I'm sick of the lies, Steve, don't you know I can see straight through you?"

14/07/17 9:21:51

The motivations for this compliment are entirely transparent.

09/07/17 20:28:24

Tracey Emin hard at work on canvas.

26/02/15 12:38:41

"Please do not put hands inside bear traps."

26/11/14 11:58:11

"I'd wear my Donkey Kong ones, but they're full of ladders."

25/10/14 20:57:09

Top-storey writing with a big name, what more could you want?

(Nod to 08:12:05)

16/07/17 7:12:29

The kid might not be the best graffiti artist in the neighbourhood, but he managed to draw a few eyes nonetheless

14/07/17 11:23:38

"We ought to have been more suspicious of the Ryanair river cruise."

13/07/17 20:36:10

When I heard she had legs all the way up to her chin, I thought they were exaggerating.

01/07/17 11:06:24

Denise was beginning to have doubts about hiring a Personal Sherpa.

14/11/14 22:46:13

"How much did that dog pee on the widow?"

29/10/14 13:25:43

WAG and Bone Cart

22/10/14 23:15:19

The streets were suddenly a lot quieter after the traffic cops started using real bullets in their speed guns.

14/10/14 23:20:49

"Trust me, feathers will fry."

13/10/14 23:28:49

Residents had started to complain that the street lamps were a bit faint.

11/10/14 11:05:16

"Psst, don't tell them that it's me voting for all the dog pics."
"Lol!"

09/10/14 20:29:21

Sleep and Sour Chicken

02/10/14 11:16:28

With his snazzy new umbrella and cane, he'd never been a sherpa dresser.

26/09/14 22:35:24

Despite their movie success, Lady and the Tramp are still refused entry to fine dining establishments.

22/09/14 11:26:28

creative

It was a little strange, but Jan's neighbours eventually got used to living next door to a taxidermist.

17/09/14 8:31:45

The school's Orwellian attitude to teaching was often criticised.

24/08/14 21:53:14

Not only were they in the same band, but they were also step-brothers.

21/08/14 11:05:28

Their new uniforms were a bit See-Thru-PO.

03/08/14 19:05:21

"I just let the kids have free range of the garden."

03/08/14 18:04:35