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Michael Monkhouse

signed up: 10 years, 3 months ago
profile viewed: 39 time(s) this week
caption quota: 10
caption votes given since joining: 2,008
comment quota: 10
comment votes given since joining: 15
super vote quota: 86

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Born in the North, bred in the South, educated at Cambridge, bored in Germany for a bit, now happily settled in the Eternal City... My career spans over five jokes. I've trodden the boards at Footlights, performed and written in Italy, and once got a smile out of a German. Currently in my very late thirties, I'm enjoying this chance to spread my wings and burn my fingers.

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captions

Typical bloke - one bird and he gets carried away.

05/08/12 11:39:02

creative

I'm feeling a little run down.

29/06/15 8:58:49

Ah the lakes, the mountains, the paths... Sorry, I'm rambling.

19/05/12 11:20:40

Even Stephen Hawking needs a day off.

05/09/15 12:51:55

What a lovely comment. Thank you!They say Stephen Hawking's so intelligent he can pick up anything strauiht away. Well, I dropped a sheaf of papers, bugger all. --Michael Monkhouse

Great, I'll post my caption last week.

03/01/14 11:10:23

Thanks. ;-)http://www.caption.me/core/sounds/voteBeep.wav --Guideaux

creative

These 'Spot the balls' contests get harder and harder.

10/11/13 10:10:16

lol

Worst Avatar remake ever.

30/11/14 9:22:56

creative

Next: Jesus swept.

13/05/13 10:09:06

There must be easier ways of telling your parents you're gay.

29/06/12 11:22:24

The tortoise wins again.

25/04/12 7:21:58

Alice in Slumberland.

11/07/15 8:04:31

lol

Is it just me, or are prostitutes getting worse?

17/02/15 13:18:50

The worst thing about working for Vanish is the company car.

15/07/13 10:00:22

Wonder how it ends.

25/11/12 12:04:36

Masturbation's easy when your dick's this big.

01/12/16 16:23:53

Tit for tot.

17/08/15 15:13:25

Back in '98, auditions were held to replace Geri.

12/07/15 13:53:36

Your all-in-one Spice Girl.

21/11/14 13:45:04

Worst John 'n' Yoko tribute ever.

25/06/14 11:26:19

Very Scary Spice.

27/02/14 7:21:51

Arson fire? It will be in a minute.

07/01/14 10:09:45

Strange, normally the kilt CONCEALS the dick head.

21/11/13 12:13:53

Bad news, your son was electrocuted. Good news, I put it on Youtube, called it a Harlem Shake, he's got 496 likes.

08/04/13 8:11:41

Tell me what you want, what you wheelie wheelie want.

27/12/16 17:39:08

As you get older, achieving orgasm becomes more complex.

13/12/15 9:16:15

101 Fun Things to Do With Your Own Vomit, Part 62.

04/09/15 10:26:32

Well at least there are no flies on me.

10/08/15 14:15:57

All creatures grated small...

08/03/15 9:50:14

It was bad enough waking up with a hangover; then I got a proper look at who I shagged last night.

21/11/14 13:44:34

They weren't the same after Geri left.

13/09/14 13:03:53

Shouldn't've gone to Specsavers.

12/05/13 12:13:49

The great thing about working for Toys R Us is the company car.

15/04/12 7:38:38

You're history mate!

11/12/11 9:41:32

I'm sorry, I'm still not convinced you're Robert De Niro.

01/01/14 10:22:04

Priests have to be sneakier these days.

16/12/13 10:07:22

Bin there? Drummed that.

02/09/13 8:17:37

Well, we did call him Cliff.

01/08/13 16:42:48

Pailface.

09/06/13 9:24:23

I don't know what's come over me, but I think it's Martian.

12/05/13 12:16:36

Meetin' two veg.

16/07/12 14:59:30

Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

07/06/12 14:47:25

Arson fire? No, just my head.

06/12/11 14:16:43

I'm feeling a little run down.

08/08/16 16:37:00

Tit for twat.

05/07/16 8:02:29

Isle of Man.

04/04/16 8:49:11

They weren't the same without Sporty and Baby.

29/03/16 9:30:04

Even Madonna needs to relax sometimes.

08/10/15 8:15:41

When I said I wanted a cowgirl...

11/08/15 13:08:23

Unsafeway.

14/07/15 8:35:36

Nice to see you again, http://www.caption.me/261755.

22/12/14 7:45:37

Thank you very much. --Michael Monkhouse

Puss in Boot.

09/04/17 14:35:51

Here's another nice mesh you've gotten me into.

14/02/17 15:52:44

lol

That's taking the piss.

16/11/16 14:08:10

Break during 'The Wizard Of Oz'.

02/12/15 10:04:08

These 'odd-one-out' contests get easier and easier.

12/09/15 8:04:43

Dial the number with your free hand.

31/08/15 8:01:02

Oh sheet.

04/07/15 9:07:18

Chad: The Early Years.

26/06/15 12:56:35

After 30 years in the biz, the Pet Shop Boys were desperate.

25/06/15 15:44:49

There's something phony about this.

14/06/15 8:42:36

Room for just one more straw?

26/04/15 15:56:48

It works. You'll never wank again.

21/04/15 12:12:18

On your marks... and Spencers...

22/02/15 9:17:01

These 'odd-one-out' contests get easier and easier.

03/02/15 18:12:27

After 7 years, Lady Gaga was getting desperate.

15/01/15 17:13:11

Is it wrong to masturbate over this?

09/12/14 8:11:36

Yes, if you stood on that roof to masturbate the neighbours would call the police & have you arrested or then again they may just toss you off. --Barrie Bullock

Priests have to be sneakier these days.

07/11/14 10:41:58

Pane 'n' the ass.

01/07/14 11:03:15

I'd like a bowl of salad. - With relish? - MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm, I'd llllllike a bowwwwwl of ssssalllllllllad.

27/05/14 15:45:56

Bugger, this is the same breakfast I had tomorrow.

11/03/14 9:04:11

Is that you, Jasper?

05/02/14 9:20:14

The Silver Surfer's dropped a bollock again.

02/12/13 12:24:48

Plastic 'oh no' band.

24/11/13 10:55:22

When I asked to see yer tackle...

25/06/13 9:44:25

Four hours later Tony decided it wasn't really Leslie Ash.

23/04/13 10:34:48

When I asked you to put him in a nutshell...

11/12/12 12:06:55

Putting the tart before the horse.

18/08/12 8:19:12

There must be easier ways to catch crabs.

11/04/12 11:44:26

I wanted to see her bear behind.

23/12/11 9:41:38

She'll get carried away in a minute.

24/10/11 21:09:20

Will the real Posh stand up.

16/01/17 15:01:16

Even Victoria Beckham has a vice.

08/12/16 8:07:16

Gulliver was welcome till he ejaculated.

29/11/16 8:33:02

Gulliver cums again --sandeep chahal

I'm all ears.

03/11/16 13:57:03

Finger food.

06/09/16 12:01:19

Jammy Carr.

30/08/16 13:10:13

Arson fire? Yes, and the rest of him.

08/08/16 10:18:03

I'm not allowed to make any innuendos for a day. It's long and hard but I'll pull it off.

01/07/16 16:05:45

40 years and Kit Williams is still full of himself.

22/06/16 9:55:42

Catholic anti-wank measures go too far.

13/06/16 11:40:06

Even Obama needs to relax sometimes.

09/02/16 8:24:05

As you get older, attaining orgasm becomes more difficult.

03/02/16 9:26:45

I just ejaculated on my toes. Tidings of come, foot and joy.

29/12/15 9:36:56

What's the name of that frog-like little animal in village ponds? Mmmm - it's on the tip of my tongue...

13/12/15 16:36:13

They piss there too.

02/12/15 17:32:51

Another snooker fan rivetted to the screen.

20/11/15 9:39:33

When he writes texts, does he use punk-tuation?

07/10/15 19:17:00

Once a priest, always a priest.

28/09/15 20:52:23

They weren't the same after Geri left.

25/09/15 10:46:49

My best fart yet.

22/09/15 8:50:22

more captions

last comments (total: 23)

Time travel :)

[anon]

05/01/14
5:04pm

comment on caption:
Great, I'll post my caption last week. [Michael Monkhouse]

Thanks. wink
http://www.caption.me/core/sounds/voteBeep.wav

Guideaux

05/01/14
5:42pm

comment on caption:
Great, I'll post my caption last week. [Michael Monkhouse]

with a nod to the discus page

[anon]

02/03/14
1:25pm

comment on caption:
Bashing the bishop. [Michael Monkhouse]

Yes, if you stood on that roof to masturbate the neighbours would call the police & have you arrested or then again they may just toss you off.

Barrie Bullock

09/12/14
11:43am

comment on caption:
Is it wrong to masturbate over this? [Michael Monkhouse]

Very clever!

[anon]

14/07/15
6:50pm

comment on caption:
Nice to see you again, http://www.caption.me/261755. [Michael Monkhouse]

Thank you very much.

Michael Monkhouse

14/07/15
7:30pm

comment on caption:
Nice to see you again, http://www.caption.me/261755. [Michael Monkhouse]

It's not really my style to comment until the votes are in, or openly etc, but just wanted to say that this really made me laugh. A lot. I could just picture him getting ready/giving orders/it all happening. Thanks for a great caption and for sparking those amusing images.

[anon]

09/09/15
10:49am

comment on caption:
Even Stephen Hawking needs a day off. [Michael Monkhouse]

What a lovely comment. Thank you!
They say Stephen Hawking's so intelligent he can pick up anything strauiht away. Well, I dropped a sheaf of papers, bugger all.

Michael Monkhouse

10/09/15
7:41pm

comment on caption:
Even Stephen Hawking needs a day off. [Michael Monkhouse]

you might think that!

[anon]

13/12/15
8:56pm

comment on caption:
As you get older, achieving orgasm becomes more complex. [Michael Monkhouse]

Gulliver cums again