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No darling I said the ceremony needs a DJ
22/01/25 12:10:59
Crossing Over
22/01/25 8:00:31
Tour de Plants
21/01/25 8:02:52
Smells Like Clean Spirit
17/01/25 12:18:07
"Sorry even with the hat and handbag you still look like a man Dave."
16/01/25 20:06:21
Crash in the Attic
16/01/25 12:14:33
🎵 Working nine to Fyffe 🎵
15/01/25 20:01:54
🎵 Who ate all the Tweety Pies? 🎵
13/01/25 20:00:39
Long Dong Silva
13/01/25 8:05:43
- Where are the swings mummy? - Over there darling, in front of the greenhouse
10/01/25 9:32:11
The cat that got the scream
09/01/25 12:03:23
Lisa had trouble keeping her emulsions in check.
06/01/25 12:01:49
..but I don't want to vote.
05/01/25 21:44:39
We have started the celebrations early . The kids are back to school tomorrow.
05/01/25 12:20:02
Troubled Bridge over Water
04/01/25 20:02:40
When the acting work dried up they had to carve out new careers for themselves.
04/01/25 8:34:39
"Oh crap, I can't remember if my password was 'Uggh' or 'Ugga'."
01/01/25 20:09:08
Turning over a new leaf for 2025
27/12/24 20:03:39
This week’s Spot the Ball was rather easy
25/12/24 8:09:55
"Order for Spartacus.""I am Spartacus.""No, I'm Spartacus!""No, I'm Spartacus!"
24/12/24 20:06:14
It seats fyffe
24/12/24 12:02:14
"Dave's always getting a bee in his bonnet"
21/12/24 20:26:15
Coca-collar
20/12/24 8:08:51
"For the last time, mate, NO, I don't want my windows washed."
18/12/24 20:07:35
Mods and Mochas
17/12/24 8:00:46
A head of time
14/12/24 20:05:03
A Jockwork Orange
14/12/24 8:24:15
Immaculate Deception
13/12/24 13:07:56
Dave got fed up with the game and decided to watch the box instead.
09/12/24 20:06:50
They finished neck and neck.
09/12/24 12:00:35
Hindenburger.
08/12/24 12:25:38
Although the birdseed was only tuppence a bag, Fred's dry cleaning bill was horrendous.
06/12/24 8:13:47
"I'll do anything except poached."
05/12/24 12:00:49, edited: 05/12/24 12:01:06
He's my Alf brother.
30/11/24 12:08:04
The Crayon Game
29/11/24 12:01:44
Shop 'til you drop off.
28/11/24 20:02:44
Ah, the good old days, when men were real men, women were real women, and transvestites were real transvestites.
26/11/24 8:40:24, edited: 26/11/24 8:44:45
"Who's a clever boy then?"
25/11/24 20:11:30
Things that go bump in the night - my head on the ceiling
25/11/24 18:10:52
Why is it wearing a pturban?
23/11/24 8:30:00
🎵 We wash you a Merry Christmas
13/11/24 20:01:08
-"Dave, do you really think it's safe letting that old man play with the kids?"-"Of course, honey. If you can't trust the ex-Archbishop of Canterbury, who can you trust?"
12/11/24 20:06:11
It's always awkward when you meet the mother in law for the 1st time.
09/11/24 12:00:54
"This would be more comfortable on a bed of rice."
09/11/24 8:30:22
"He pushes all my buttons."
09/11/24 8:01:13
Entertainment for the masses
06/11/24 20:03:01
Feline Musk
30/10/24 20:01:50
Nans on the Rum
29/10/24 12:13:08
"I'll give you something to cry about!"
25/10/24 19:01:26
Baby Spice
25/10/24 19:01:25
Can't see the trees for the wood.
25/10/24 13:46:06
"FREEZE!"
24/10/24 11:04:49
You have to travel miles to find a phone box these days.
22/10/24 7:08:34
"We shall bite on the beaches."
21/10/24 11:17:15, suggested edits
I said "hover over it"
20/10/24 7:34:28
The Marx Brothers
16/10/24 7:04:31
Octojeanarian
15/10/24 19:01:03
Work hard, plague hard
13/10/24 19:04:22
"Could you all say 'baa' again please?"..."Number 2! Number 2 was the one who attacked me."
13/10/24 11:06:26
Felix Navidad
06/10/24 19:02:12
When the missus chooses the au pair.
05/10/24 11:14:37
“No one knows which conditioner I use, but Brian may.”
05/10/24 7:46:43
The Great Train Shrubbery
04/10/24 7:08:24
"Quick, Ethel! Put your bag on the seat."
03/10/24 7:15:33
“Dave you do realise you can reset the facial recognition on your phone “
01/10/24 11:01:24
Brother Francis usually preferred leek and potato, but God that carrot felt good up his arse.
29/09/24 9:07:51
Sponge Bob goes trick or treating.
28/09/24 7:00:33
"Cracking beard mate."
27/09/24 7:07:49
The Tortoise and the Flare.
23/09/24 19:00:20, edited: 29/09/24 10:15:53, suggested edits
The Crate Escape
20/09/24 7:00:44
I love a girl in a filmsy outfit.
19/09/24 19:00:40
And they said having a drive through coffee shop on the 5th floor wouldn't work.
19/09/24 11:01:31
Eight out of ten cats prefer Christians.
19/09/24 7:14:52
"I'm no good at these 3D puzzles. This is meant to be St Paul's Cathedral."
18/09/24 19:03:07
“Are you sipping comfortably?”
18/09/24 11:10:11
Tabby Road
15/09/24 7:01:26
Hack Russell
14/09/24 19:06:46
The cat that got the sour cream
12/09/24 11:01:21
Straw-Bucks.
11/09/24 19:18:57
When the squirrel was later asked where he got all the gossip from, he said a little bird told him
09/09/24 19:03:10
"Not bad, but maybe replace the text with a beam of light and a spectrum ... and lose the weirdo family," said Roger Waters.
08/09/24 7:13:40
Downing Street announces, “We are prepared for the next pandemic.”
05/09/24 19:03:03
Lunch pad.
05/09/24 7:01:23
The ion the switch and the wardrobe.
01/09/24 19:41:40
🎵 Welcome to the house of bun 🎵
01/09/24 7:40:14
"Why couldn't you have robbed JD Sports in the riots like everyone else " said Sue
28/08/24 19:02:48
🎵 Hit the road, Jack, and don’t you turn right no more, no more, no more, no more... 🎵
28/08/24 7:15:05
Yep, in the mirror this morning, but it was some night!!
26/08/24 19:05:13, edited: 26/08/24 19:29:29
Couch pugtatoes
26/08/24 11:03:46, edited: 26/08/24 11:47:31
Tom and Sherry
23/08/24 19:00:19
"... and that, Dave, is why you don't follow the five second rule."
22/08/24 11:59:19, edited: 22/08/24 12:02:26
PizzaHurt
22/08/24 11:10:11
Her car runs on Fairy Liquid
20/08/24 11:06:44
For Plume The Bell Tolls.
17/08/24 7:21:09, edited: 17/08/24 7:22:18
''That parrot has been on the site before. His face rings a bell.''
17/08/24 7:05:14
BREAKING NEWSStrange Kraft lands on oeuf.
15/08/24 11:13:23, edited: 15/08/24 11:14:48
''I think there's been some mistake. I was looking for a sturgeon.''
14/08/24 19:40:29
They hate playing Wolves
12/08/24 11:03:07, edited: 12/08/24 17:01:25
“She’s yours, I don’t like confrontation.”
11/08/24 19:09:40
"Oh, I thought you said you wanted to see my thicket."
08/08/24 19:09:02
suggested edits
