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Stephen Bean Vote score: 35180Stephen Bean

Grasper Carrot

29/11/22 12:00:05

I only recently found out that Lucy Davis (The Office, Shaun of the Dead) is Jasper Carrot's daughter. You all in the UK probably know this already but I felt compelled to share. --James Lennox
Tony Edwards Vote score: 38485Tony Edwards


29/11/22 12:08:26

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 14790Neil Mackenzie

It all ended in tears for Kevin when Bernard left him for an Onion.

29/11/22 12:09:55

Paul Gledhill Vote score: 1749Paul Gledhill

500 of your 5 a day

29/11/22 12:02:54

Generic RedHead Vote score: 1064Generic RedHead

Look at what I've just pulled.

29/11/22 16:47:29

stoneface1 Vote score: 1936stoneface1

"That bodyguard you hired. Did you say he had a black belt in carroty?"

29/11/22 12:03:20

Stephen Bean Vote score: 35180Stephen Bean

"I can see the root of your problem," said Ralph's therapist.

29/11/22 12:30:43

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

"I have a question about forbidden love..."
"Sir, this is Gardeners' Question Time."

29/11/22 12:04:07

Al Overy Vote score: 17717Al Overy

Geoff had sworn never to return to vegetable modelling - that was until he was offered a massive carrot.

29/11/22 12:00:12

Stephen Bean Vote score: 35180Stephen Bean

"...and when I click my fingers your husband will stop thinking he's a rabbi..."

"NO, please don't! For the past week he's stopped talking about football and the sex has never been so good."

29/11/22 12:48:02

John Harrison Vote score: 5151John Harrison

"Now when I said, go and get my Christmas present and make sure it's at least a single carat..."

29/11/22 12:46:23

Ian Skelding Vote score: 32006Ian Skelding

Somewhere there’s a giant snowman thinking he’s got Covid.

29/11/22 12:10:01, edited: 29/11/22 12:20:07

Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 3498Karen Oakenfull

“Bloody hell Malcom! How big IS your rabbit you keep going on about?”

29/11/22 12:02:20, edited: 29/11/22 12:02:45

The Wolf Vote score: 21453The Wolf

Dave appeared gracious in defeat but was secretly devastated to have lost to a carrot in the Best Hair Competition.

29/11/22 12:00:12

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