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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	32	5	1	#36	11	11	#25	3101	3342	#53
Photos			3	#8				60	241	#10
Comments	21	2			1	2	#8	239	248	#34
Forum Posts		1						1
Suggested Edits								1	3	#11

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	94	#2	26	#18	13476	#17
Photos					758	#25
Comments			4	#6	372	#22
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					5	#9

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	lol As a funeral director, I should never have agreed to the, ‘Take Your Kids To Work Day' initiative. 30/03/20 13:59:43	27

	“What shampoo do you use?” “Shoulders.” 08/12/22 20:04:27	21

	lol creative Archeologists reveal why very few escaped from the Pompeii disaster. 15/11/21 8:48:18	20

	creative clever Storm Ciara wreaks havoc across the UK: "I was lucky, a trampoline missed me by an inch and the bloke over the road is wearing a shed." 13/02/20 12:29:29	20

	He’s the underdog 28/02/24 8:00:59	19

	lol “Dave…wtf have you done to my hair dryer!? 06/01/24 12:17:44, edited: 06/01/24 12:18:12	19

	lol creative “……..…..and they all lived happily ever after……Now bugger off to bed.” 22/04/24 20:11:48	18

	lol “It was bloody damp in our house when we were kids. This is us in the back bedroom.” 19/01/22 20:16:39	18

	This original design of an Airbus didn’t take off. 02/10/22 8:12:04	16

	lol "What do you mean go faster? I'm ninety f*cking seven you ungrateful hag." 12/04/21 8:36:41	16

	You always could tell Pete had a bad hangover by the size of the ice pack. 21/03/20 20:05:38	16

	lol That look when you spot your wife with another man and you can't do anything about it because you're a statue. 09/05/19 20:28:46	16

	Footage 29/02/24 10:24:40	15

	“We can’t both have irons on Park Lane.” 25/10/21 8:19:14	15

	"I see Edward's on the helium again." 14/07/21 12:03:09	15

	lol "Tonight on, When Hip Replacements Go Wrong....." (Nod to 12:05:24) 11/05/20 0:07:30	3 15
Hi xxx (best make your comments anonymous at the moment), I guessed whoever had done the caption hadn't seen Dave's caption and loved the way you used the idea in a different way. I think Dave was unlucky not to get more votes though and wished ... --Stephen Bean
	lol creative "Help I can't untangle my hands" 15/03/20 21:00:26	15

	CanoepÃ©s 21/09/17 20:32:23	2 15

	lol Oscar Pistorius's campaign bus 24/07/16 12:40:44	15

	Rick decided not to complain, but instead changed his meal choices to beef casserole and sticky toffee pudding. 20/12/21 9:05:58	14

	That's so fake. You can see the thin wires holding the spider up! Duh. 22/08/20 8:50:44	14

	"Darling, can you smell ga....." 18/08/20 8:01:34	14

	Sarah has a drinking problem 08/04/20 8:01:26	6 14
Is that an Airplane in your bottle? --Guideaux .
	In a shocking autobiography out next week, entitled "I hated the bastard" Captain Birdseye's granddaughter tells all. 13/02/20 22:53:41	14

	creative She's hoping that a few minor adjustments to her new skirt, will help take away the emphasis from her massive arse. 23/08/17 20:40:55	3 14
Hahaha, yes petal ;D xx --Karen Oakenfull
	lol creative Uri Geller makes a start on corrogating a new door for his storage unit. 15/06/15 12:38:19	14

	Having just had two Bishop's Fingers, Brendan needed a drink. 09/05/14 9:02:16	1 13
After that he was Hob gobbling. --John Glover
	There once lived a gardener from Leeds… Who swallowed a packet of seeds It was more fertile grass When it came out his arse It also choked most of the weeds 13/01/24 8:04:08, edited: 13/01/24 16:51:18, suggested edits	15 13
“There once lived a gardener from Leeds…”Who's garden was overgrown and full of grass and reeds.He bought a new strimmer to make things look trimmerBut could now see Leeds so things were grimmer!! --Phil Swan
	Van for sale. Low silage 16/07/23 8:18:46	13

	Lillian checks the obituary column everyday to see if she’s in it. 28/04/22 8:14:59	1 13
She doesn't want to be "late". --Willie Johnson
	"Stay back Angela. I've got this.." 24/11/20 3:09:57	13

	clever Tong in cheek humour 05/04/24 20:17:10	12

	Baby steps 18/07/23 13:19:27	12

	creative Drama teacher: “Okay, class, let’s get started today with some full body interpretation…John, you are a pint of sterilised milk. Anna, you are a Victorian potato peeler, Mike, you’re Milton Keynes. Janet, you are a second hand washing machine, Frank, you are the Opening of Parliament. Kim, you are a pair of medieval underpants.” 29/06/23 20:41:06	12

	Bridget’s Got Talons 23/04/23 20:01:37	12

	When Janet was approached by a "˜certain magazine"˜ to do some modelling, she thought it would be the start of a glittering career but Scrap Metal Monthly had a very tight budget. 17/09/20 8:27:17	1 12
And she has a tight skirt. --Willie Johnson
	According to footage from his GoPro, his last words were, "Bit tricky here but don't worry guys, I got thi..." 12/08/20 13:48:46	12

	How they got the groom to Mars on his stag night still remains a complete mystery. 04/08/20 21:45:17	12

	It's quite rare to see a man of this calibre. 10/05/20 20:41:59	12

	lol clever "Say cheese." "Bvoooo." 04/03/20 17:06:17	1 12
Seriously, made me laugh out loud. Late captions are often sadly underrated. --James Lennox
	"It's pointless lying to me, I can see right through you." "I've half a mind to end this relationship." 27/04/19 8:07:56	12

	lol The same as other blokes do, use the wife's flannel. 22/01/19 10:06:44	12

	“Only people with a very high IQ will be able to find a stag hidden within this tricky puzzle. Can you do it in just 10 seconds?!” 27/04/24 20:16:56, edited: 27/04/24 20:20:57	5 11
I've got that one, it's actually a snowy owl in a blizzard. --Karen McDonald
	“Is that big bird stuffed?” “I’d assume so, she had a hearty luncheon.” 30/07/23 21:48:57	11

	Neil in a haystack 06/12/22 12:13:37	11

	lol “…………then in 400 yards we turn left and carry on straight ahead for half a mile, and take the 3rd exit at the roundabout then………Oh dad, this is so humiliating. I know you’re a tight bastard but couldn’t you have at least hired a car for my big day?” 29/01/22 14:10:39	11

	Try as they might, Roger and Melve have never managed to watch the last 2 hours of The Sound Of Music. 21/11/21 22:42:09	11

	lol Ever since June introduced Derek to the Sunlife Funeral Plan, He’s turned into even more of a tw*t. 05/11/21 8:18:54	11

	For Sale: Miniature Tiger Going Cheep 04/06/20 14:50:17	11

	...and he still would've been if he'd seen the bus coming a bit sooner. 14/05/20 12:12:47	11

	lol "I say we call him Huckleberry." 14/05/20 11:32:38	11

	Fly Chi 18/04/20 22:20:14	11

	"Does it hurt when you go to the toilet?" "Yes Doctor." 24/04/19 8:05:26	11

	lol "I don't mind being spoiled, but I wish they'd let me wash my own arse." 15/03/19 12:29:46	11

	Spider plant 22/05/15 13:59:20	11

	Cat proves once and for all that it hasn't got your tongue. 30/08/14 8:32:03	11

	creative He's lucky he didn't get pissed at the Blue Oyster Bar instead. He'd have been trying to sell half a drain-pipe, two terrified hamsters and an industrial plunger! (Well, according to a friend of mine you understand.) 24/06/14 0:24:38	11

	In true Latvian circus burial law, Olav the clown was given a traditional send off. 11/06/14 16:22:40	1 11
Brilliant caption! --Michael Winner
	“Can I have my eyes back?” 10/01/24 20:01:07	10

	Mein Kramp 16/04/23 12:27:00	10

	$3.99!? Where's the justice in that? 02/11/20 12:01:58	10

	"Stop fretting Maureen." 10/03/20 22:14:49	10

	lol He's playing arse song! 01/07/16 4:40:50	2 10
I agree! Didn't see it until now, but you showed how a later-entry can get votes quickly, IF the caption is brilliant, as yours is. Congrats! --Greg Curtis
	“C’mon, off to Banbury Cross at once!” 07/03/24 8:07:24	9

	Billy was in a rush now, the burping competition started in 10 minutes. 24/01/24 20:03:58	9

	Bohemian Catsody 02/12/23 8:30:35	9

	As I watched my long lost brother approach, even Davina McCall was a bit scared. 01/01/22 20:13:31	2 9
Love this one, I think 'brother' could have added to the caption. But ,hey, three other captioneers liked it as it is. --John Glover
	Back in the day, there were all sorts of ways to cure hiccups. 17/11/21 20:09:51	9

	“I remember when all this used to be fields.” 10/10/21 10:04:20	9

	“My son, did you just shout out you were looking for Jehovah?” “No mate, I said, f*cking move over.” 01/08/21 8:11:21	9

	Looks like he's been in the beer trap again. He'll sh*g anything when he's pissed. 12/08/20 20:32:38	9

	"Joe got his pet, but you promised to get me a kitten Daddy?" "I did but....ahem.." 01/06/20 22:12:12	9

	"Are we there yet?" 06/08/16 20:27:38	9

	With such an odd shaped head, ping pong looking eyes, fat beer belly and jaundice, I'd recognise Brenda anywhere. 22/06/14 3:31:56	9

	Up until it burnt down in 1971, this photo gives us a rare glimpse inside the underground recruitment office for The Ministry Of Silly Walks. 10/05/14 0:00:34	9

	“Trying to think of a novel way to decorate your stairs? Just use your loaf.” 14/09/23 20:03:58	8

	Ding dong “Oh..hello Barbara. Don’t just stand out there on the doorstep in the cold, go away!” 22/08/23 15:19:44	8

	“He was dancing about a minute ago, why has he suddenly passed out?” “It’s nothing to worry about. He tends to lapse into a coma if he accidentally presses shuffle and a Coldplay album starts up. He’ll come round in an hour or so.” 05/04/23 8:06:03	8

	We moved to Tasmania last December. I must say the Carol Singers that come round are a bit different. 10/11/22 8:01:44	8

	Not the best time to find out your new wife was originally a roofer called Derek. 04/10/22 20:35:31	8

	“……then turn left and drive about half a mile to the end of the road and you’ll see my house on the corner next to the statue……What do you mean you can’t find it!?” 06/10/21 12:49:22	8

	Cheers bud but this an iPhone 8, I told you to nick me an 11 or 12. 05/08/21 8:04:11	8

	"How did you get on down the Job Centre Pete?" 05/07/21 0:40:54	8

	lol Grandma thinks she's doing Facebook. Bless. 03/09/20 14:19:17	8

	That awkward next day after your wife has found out you've been having an affair and she's burnt everything you own. 28/05/20 12:56:46	1 8
Or you said you weren't having an affair and the shorts and shoes she found under the bed are actually yours, so you have wear them to prove it. --Troompa Loompa
	Stoney broke 11/05/20 20:00:49	8

	Goal!! 16/04/20 2:49:53	1 8

	clever 🎵 His Hat Has Got The Sun On...🎵 08/03/20 22:20:44	8

	He was eventually thrown in a recycling bin. 06/07/19 8:32:26	8

	Jack marvelled at the proud stance she took to break wind. 29/01/19 15:21:55	8

	Thankfully, the hospital catheters of today, are far less conspicuous than this crude contraption from the 1870's 10/09/14 19:08:42	8

	Since trying out the new German caffine shampoo, Helmut's hair has been up for over 4 days. 28/08/14 20:46:59	8

	Hmmm … I’m gonna have to wake her. I can’t find me bloody underpants.” 10/09/23 3:27:27	7

	Bernard had forgotten about the umbrella he’d swallowed until it opened. 27/07/23 20:05:01	7

	Archeologists Excavate Ancient Mayan Furniture 02/05/23 12:12:40	7

	lol creative “This?” “Nope.” Almost 36 years later and still no joy for Bono. 24/04/23 16:10:04	1 7
So obscure. Love it :) --James Lennox
	clever Died hard fans 10/04/23 8:00:51, edited: 10/04/23 8:02:20	7

	“Are you sure there’s a £10,000 prize in these eggs Malcolm? I reckon it’s in them Cadbury ones?” 02/01/23 20:17:09, edited: 02/01/23 20:18:55	7

	lol Boss: “Stop! Did you just hear that twang?” Twang: “I didn’t hear anything but I think a cable just snapped.” 08/10/22 12:15:24	7

	Tonight On - Struggling Young Mothers: “I thought that the consequences of swallowing pips and seeds was a myth.” 24/06/22 12:09:30	7

more captions

last comments (total: 122)

Thank you Al xxx

Karen Oakenfull

16/01/24
7:31pm

comment on caption:
There once lived a gardener from Leeds… Who swallowed a packet of seeds It was more fertile grass When it came out his arse It also choked most of the weeds [Karen Oakenfull]

Love this theme, Cap Auth, but wonder if a more specific story might get more votes. I've offered one but feel free to reject, I'm voting for your original anyway wink

James Lennox

19/01/24
6:53pm

comment on caption:
When asked about his heroism during the glue factory explosion, Dave replied "Has anyone got any solvent to get this prick off my back?" [Karen Oakenfull]

Thanks James. That’s much better. I love this edit suggestion option. I’ve written a lot of captions that have the idea, but a re-write can make the world of difference. Plus you learn more about creating better captions.

(caption author)

19/01/24
8:11pm

comment on caption:
When asked about his heroism during the glue factory explosion, Dave replied "Has anyone got any solvent to get this prick off my back?" [Karen Oakenfull]

Is it a Shotgun Wedding, then... or, "Matr AMO ny?"

[anon]

04/02/24
3:11am

comment on caption:
“No bridesmaids then?” [Karen Oakenfull]

I think the one in the middle looks a bit like Alvin Stardust.

Dave Bryan

23/03/24
8:38am

comment on caption:
I see Shawaddywaddy are still doing the rounds. [Karen Oakenfull]

Well the best thing to do is provide them with a picture with no stag at all. See how long it takes them to realise they've been had.

Or on the other hand that they're so narcissistic that their self worth is pivoted on proving themselves to the declaration that if they can find the deer (that doesn't exist) then they must have a very high IQ! 🤣

Glyn Evans

27/04/24
10:13pm

comment on caption:
“Only people with a very high IQ will be able to find a stag hidden within this tricky puzzle. Can you do it in just 10 seconds?!” [Karen Oakenfull]

Funny 😄

(caption author)

27/04/24
11:14pm

comment on caption:
“Only people with a very high IQ will be able to find a stag hidden within this tricky puzzle. Can you do it in just 10 seconds?!” [Karen Oakenfull]

I've got a print myself...actually I bought several more to reassure myself that I wasn't going mad as I just couldn't see that deer. Repeat the process as it were...but it just didn't work, I wasn't seeing it.

It turns out that I'd had them all hanging up the wrong way all of these years!

However the way that I've got them hung up now I'm sure that I should be looking for a polar bear in the mist or a reindeer as they're a lot whiter than the other side 🤗

Glyn Evans

28/04/24
8:31am

comment on caption:
“Only people with a very high IQ will be able to find a stag hidden within this tricky puzzle. Can you do it in just 10 seconds?!” [Karen Oakenfull]

I've got that one, it's actually a snowy owl in a blizzard.