cancel
lol creative clever

super vote: ( left this week)

now click a caption or
"You should have seen Albert on second violin last night. He was giving it everything and got so carried away he pierced Marjorie the flautists colostomy bag. They had to stop the show until a mop was found."
"You should have seen Albert on second violin last night. He was giving it everything and got so carried away he pierced Marjorie the flautists colostomy bag. They had to stop the show until a mop was found." photo | portfolio
© All Rights Reserved KaZzDaRaZz

To add captions, first sign up



Troompa Loompa Vote score: 17102Troompa Loompa

"You should have seen Albert on second violin last night. He was giving it everything and got so carried away he pierced Marjorie the flautist's colostomy bag. They had to stop the show until a mop was found."

10/03/20 20:29:03

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 1146Karen Oakenfull

“Stop fretting Maureen.”

10/03/20 22:14:49

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1180Willie Johnson

By any chance could you play "Killed by Death" by Motorhead?

10/03/20 20:46:34

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 8932Mr Dome

- do you know you look like a right silly old bat with that thing on your lap?
- no but if you hum it I'll play along

10/03/20 21:17:03

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6270Glyn Evans

"My cello shrunk in the wash"

10/03/20 21:04:53

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21538Ian Skelding

"I told you not to clean that Double Bass in the bath."

10/03/20 20:03:41

 1
Ah the double bass. My favourite position  --Mr Dome
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 2925Crunchy Chords

"Do you even know how to play that thing?"
"Of course not, and you can't sing for sh*t, but it's the skirts that'll make the act a hit, Jim."
"If you say so, Dave."

10/03/20 20:00:17

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 21538Ian Skelding

"Where's your bow?"
"In my legs Dear."

10/03/20 20:31:40

 1
It's the up stroke that she likes the most. --Willie Johnson
Generic RedHead Vote score: 604Generic RedHead

This was a string quartet, until Mary and Charles decided to go on holiday to Italy.

11/03/20 0:13:52

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20114John Glover

"Not much in the pot today, maybe if we didn't wear knickers and occasionally crossed our legs 'In the best possible taste.' ....

10/03/20 20:15:59

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 10854Vanessa the Guesser

"I used to play the cello but it made me bow-legged."

10/03/20 20:00:22

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10168Neil Mackenzie

I take it there is going to be another death in the Family?
Yes, every time Luigi borrows my violin case.

11/03/20 7:08:25

 
C CaMel Vote score: 5105C CaMel

"Nanna, nanna, hey Jude."

11/03/20 6:13:47

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1180Willie Johnson

"Could you tune that thing? You sound like a cat sitting on a keyboard."

10/03/20 21:00:44

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3409Stu Dent

I thought you said we were having lunch with Vi and Lynne.

10/03/20 20:26:07

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 10854Vanessa the Guesser

"We could just go and get Brahms and Liszt?"

10/03/20 20:14:41

 
Madeline Charlton Vote score: 175Madeline Charlton

Money for nothing? We ain't chicks for free!C'mon , cough up!

10/03/20 20:06:32

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 3409Stu Dent

Just the thing we shouldn't see, A old woman fiddling with her G string

10/03/20 20:03:12

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 17102Troompa Loompa

"Yeah Beryl, you should join me in the WI band, it's nothing but wall to wall sax and violins."

10/03/20 20:00:07

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10168Neil Mackenzie

Play it again Samantha.

11/03/20 7:40:49

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10168Neil Mackenzie

When I was young I played the fiddle and strung the men along. Now I’m thinking of trading it for a trumpet so I can blow wind in their general direction.

11/03/20 7:14:26

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 1897Scrijjy Doo

I'd pluck that.

11/03/20 1:19:50

 
larry G. Vote score: 1448larry G.

Violins are like a box of chocolates - Forrest Gumps music teachers.

10/03/20 21:03:26

 
James Lennox Vote score: 4906James Lennox

"Come on Cheryl, we're a two person act ... so stop sulking and start stripping."

10/03/20 21:02:50

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1180Willie Johnson

That Viola likes getting plucked.

10/03/20 20:54:22

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 4861Chris Halliwell

My husband said something about playing a tune on my pink oboe, I'm not really sure what he meant but this is all I've got.

10/03/20 20:44:56

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5359Paul Reeve

♫ Chello, is it me your looking for♫

10/03/20 20:37:52

 
James Lennox Vote score: 4906James Lennox

"I know you've got the Alzheimer's Betty, but if you keep forgetting your violin 'Duelling Fiddles' will be the death of me."

10/03/20 20:29:07

 
Rachel P Vote score: 1010Rachel P

Maud was hoping for allegrover

10/03/20 20:26:59

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 7855Stephen Bean

"I really started enjoying the violin when I could play vibrato."

10/03/20 20:22:39

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 17102Troompa Loompa

Due to her varicose veins Violet is known locally as Busker Bloodvessel.

10/03/20 20:18:15

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 7855Stephen Bean

"Doris, what I really need to feel young again is a man-dolin between my thighs."

10/03/20 20:17:23

 2
How about a French horn? --Mr Dome
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6344Hercules Rockefeller

Fiddler on the Route

10/03/20 20:13:38

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 7855Stephen Bean

Old folk music

10/03/20 20:13:21

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 17102Troompa Loompa

"Michelle, I wish you would just shut up about that bloody band camp."

10/03/20 20:11:11

 
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 17102Troompa Loompa

"That new fella working down the Darby and Joan club said he wanted to pluck my G string."

10/03/20 20:08:57

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 5242Vivvy En

"Oh shut up, Cynthia. I've had a gut full of your viol frets."

10/03/20 20:08:49

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 7855Stephen Bean

There's many a good tune played on an old fiddler.

10/03/20 20:07:44

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20114John Glover

"No I don't get bored. While waiting for the conductor to lead me in, I slip my hand down to my clitoris and pleasure myself."

10/03/20 20:06:17

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 10854Vanessa the Guesser

"Since using Viagra he's been in and out like a fiddler's elbow."

10/03/20 20:03:37

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 7855Stephen Bean

Age is no reason for a lady to stop fiddling.

10/03/20 20:01:42

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 6344Hercules Rockefeller

"I told you I could carry a tune."

10/03/20 20:01:05

 
more photos from the captioning gallery