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“Mum, when you said you’d take us somewhere expensive for my Birthday…”
30/07/24 16:37:40
"..and the prize for the wurst invention goes to.."
27/07/24 11:03:02
"Haven't seen blubber and tashes like that since last years Miss Barnsley."
27/07/24 7:24:27
“I’m so excited I’ll have to change my iPad.”
26/07/24 11:10:57
Rust in peace
26/07/24 7:02:25
"You smell lovely dear what is that"?.... "Channel no. 5"
23/07/24 11:08:00
"Oh no, Dave's sleeper walking again."
21/07/24 11:17:15
Pythagorarse.
18/07/24 19:12:34
The fowl and the pussycat
14/07/24 11:07:42
The Lion Cling
12/07/24 11:00:18
🎵 Oh I do like to tepee by the seaside 🎵
10/07/24 11:08:16, suggested edits
Depressame Street
08/07/24 17:19:42
Rishi Sunak's school dormitory.
04/07/24 11:06:42, edited: 04/07/24 12:41:16, suggested edits
“This trailer looks good.”‘I know, it’s even got a telly.’
02/07/24 7:10:36
Cup and saucy
30/06/24 11:03:29
Upon reaching Mount Doom, Frodo realises he's left the ring in his old Hobbit trousers in Cotswold's changing rooms.
30/06/24 7:14:01
Can I taste anchovies?Later, darling.
29/06/24 8:05:31
"Do you have any dips?"
25/06/24 11:24:59, edited: 25/06/24 11:25:37
Last year's hats now going cheep.
25/06/24 7:13:04
Rebel Without A Claus
24/06/24 7:20:15, edited: 24/06/24 7:45:08
''Does anyone need more chips?''''No thanks, we're still full after the antelope.''
22/06/24 11:44:31
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something zoo.
21/06/24 19:04:10
“Mane course coming now Sir.
17/06/24 19:02:46
Baarbie girls
16/06/24 11:15:50
''Come down immediately, Johnny. How many times do I have to tell you that it's rude to point?''
13/06/24 7:02:06
When Harakiri met Sally.
09/06/24 12:42:37
“Well doctor, the good news is she’s stopped biting her nails…”
09/06/24 7:39:12
Knight rider.
07/06/24 11:00:58
Knight Train
07/06/24 11:00:19
Mobile throne
31/05/24 19:02:01
One Million Years B&B
29/05/24 19:02:13
Starsky and Faulty Clutch
29/05/24 7:19:34
Stig of the dump
24/05/24 11:00:36
Is this a wind-up?
16/05/24 19:02:00
"Sorry, Tutankhamun, your mum says we're to move all this lot out and replace it with gold and statues and crap."
14/05/24 19:12:58, edited: 14/05/24 19:16:18
After a bizarre reaction to cheese, eventually their nose bleeds stopped.
08/05/24 7:10:00
''Oh no, I can't slow it down. Some joker has set it on super fast.''
03/05/24 11:18:33
Batman and Joggin'.
03/05/24 11:01:24
"I just can't fathom that smile. It has hidden depths."
30/04/24 11:13:56, edited: 30/04/24 11:25:30
Expurrminate
30/04/24 7:01:05
Whodunnit?Colonel Mustard in the library with a hand grenade
29/04/24 7:55:33
"Come on cough it up. I know you've swallowed my squeaky ball"
28/04/24 11:04:11
Cool Hammed Luke
25/04/24 19:31:43
- What does that writing say?- Fuck nose
21/04/24 16:23:07
He DJs for Radio Ga Ga and Radio Goo Goo.
20/04/24 11:10:58
Sue had a great team in the pits. They could change her pads in fifteen seconds.
20/04/24 7:29:32
"I can see a starfish."
17/04/24 19:10:41
Still Mything.
15/04/24 19:01:35
Only Pools and Horses
14/04/24 7:06:13
“Ive broken the glass ceiling and several reinforced floors.”
13/04/24 7:03:07
Pickle Lily
12/04/24 19:03:16
The new Dyson Hawaiian comes with 2 heads
11/04/24 11:24:08
“Great wedding but it cost an arm and a leg.”
11/04/24 11:00:02
On the run from the coops
05/04/24 11:24:56
"Is this some kind of joke?"
05/04/24 11:00:32
There's been a fair bit of dribbling going on.
04/04/24 19:05:47, edited: 04/04/24 19:07:49
cactarse
03/04/24 11:01:24
The Frocky Horror Show
02/04/24 19:23:14
Oh, so someone does put baby in the corner
01/04/24 19:01:11
Houndland
01/04/24 7:10:19
It was a hell of a laugh until Boris the bull turned up.
28/03/24 8:02:57
Ticket to Gravesend
21/03/24 20:04:16
Barnsley Council opens new Health Spa.
21/03/24 12:02:31
''It makes a change from beef wellington.''
21/03/24 8:03:44
"They make their coffee too strong. I prefer mine made the Milky Way"
20/03/24 12:03:21
Booty Call
20/03/24 11:36:43
They’re flippin’ fast.
18/03/24 20:01:46
Dave decided to look up an old friend.
18/03/24 12:30:44
"I've taken to calling him Hewitt."
18/03/24 8:07:07
It was a long drawn out match.
16/03/24 12:01:38
"...and that's how I discovered owl feathers make really comfy pillows."
13/03/24 12:38:08
Sometimes the bird flips you.
13/03/24 12:11:44
"...and you can tell the difference between Red and Grey Squirrels by the size of their cocks..."
07/03/24 8:05:45
Old folk music
05/03/24 8:01:34
“Autoglass repair, autoglass…”“…SHHHUT UP, I NEED THE WINDSCREEN REPAIRED URGENTLY”
04/03/24 20:13:03
Fish and trips
04/03/24 20:10:22
Old timer
27/02/24 8:01:01
I can't stand tailgaters.
25/02/24 8:12:11
Goes nicely with tartar sauce.
24/02/24 20:03:40
"How many times have I told you not to scarf your food!"
19/02/24 12:03:44
Scarves now in stock.
19/02/24 12:02:37
The foul and the pussycat
16/02/24 20:02:59
Bedknobs and Boomsticks
16/02/24 8:00:43
Designed on the day that Geoff from the planning office brought in a tray of hash brownies by mistake...
15/02/24 20:51:33
The Grim Keeper
14/02/24 12:05:01
Nails of the Unexpected
12/02/24 8:09:02
...and I've just been cured of my foot fetish
12/02/24 8:04:47
Pig farmer
10/02/24 20:07:31
"I told you the sea was a bit nippy this morning!"
06/02/24 8:01:11
Wore of the Roses
05/02/24 20:04:16
"Of course, when he's old enough to understand we will tell him he's adopted."
01/02/24 12:27:47
"Aww, look at her, guarding her litter."
27/01/24 20:00:41
Pied Pooper
27/01/24 12:07:37
"Are you sure your second name's da Vinci?"
24/01/24 12:01:29
None for ewe.
22/01/24 20:01:22
''Yuck! He tastes of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails.''
21/01/24 12:13:56, edited: 21/01/24 12:16:39
As played by The Pretenders.
20/01/24 12:37:10
Bratapult
19/01/24 8:01:28
Skid row.
18/01/24 8:08:35
Antchester United
17/01/24 20:07:26
clever 
suggested edits
