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Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

Peckasus

12/05/23 11:00:06

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16436Hercules Rockefeller

Ripe Guard

11/05/23 19:42:25

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

Children should be seen and not hurled.

10/05/23 19:07:35

C CaMel Vote score: 19694C CaMel

“My cell mates are all hardened criminals…”

10/05/23 11:01:53

Mark England Vote score: 24107Mark England

Now I regret agreeing to help my daughter with her history project on Pompeii

09/05/23 19:27:43

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

Croissant dresser

07/05/23 11:03:07

Nigel Marshall Vote score: 2161Nigel Marshall

The Cistern Chapel

06/05/23 8:00:37

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

"So, I walked into this packed pub, shouted 'TOPLESS BIRD LYING IN THE PARK!' and got served in no time!"

03/05/23 11:33:14, edited: 03/05/23 17:47:22

Mr Toad Vote score: 2088Mr Toad

“I think I’ll have the fish. What are you getting?”
“A taxi."

03/05/23 7:11:34

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

"Harvesting these nuts is a labia of love."

30/04/23 11:14:18

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

‘’Would you like to be my ghoulfriend?’’

29/04/23 11:00:15

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42711Tony Edwards

The splatter of tiny feet.

28/04/23 11:06:08

C CaMel Vote score: 19694C CaMel

“Have a safe flight.”

23/04/23 12:27:46

General Zod Vote score: 4604General Zod

Not even Superman can stop The Incredible Sulk

21/04/23 19:30:03

General Zod Vote score: 4604General Zod

🎵Ivory bodies gone surfin'......🎵

20/04/23 11:17:52, edited: 20/04/23 11:27:33

Surfin' U3A --Dave Bryan
Mr Dome  Vote score: 20212Mr Dome

The start of Dave's family tree

19/04/23 11:35:44

Barrie Bullock Vote score: 957Barrie Bullock

Way out decorations.

15/04/23 16:25:13

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20212Mr Dome

Tom & Ferry

15/04/23 7:48:37

John Harrison Vote score: 10807John Harrison

"What are we eating tonight Hammy?"

"Oh, just something I've throne together."

13/04/23 12:48:11

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

"We survived the tsunami but we're not out of the woods yet."

09/04/23 19:28:11

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

Deliveroops

05/04/23 11:00:09

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42711Tony Edwards

"I think you'll find that the roll cage should be fitted on the inside of the car, Paddy."

01/04/23 9:41:07

KimJong Pun Vote score: 706KimJong Pun

Man united at the top of the table.

29/03/23 11:27:04

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16436Hercules Rockefeller

Talk Like an Egyptian

29/03/23 7:01:12

C CaMel Vote score: 19694C CaMel

Angus lost £1 down his old chair in 1963, never again.

27/03/23 11:16:28

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"Pssst. I don't mean to gossip, but the Hyena just called you a ginger twat."

26/03/23 19:13:35

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42711Tony Edwards

Unfortunately, both ladies come with a lot of baggage.

24/03/23 20:24:26

C CaMel Vote score: 19694C CaMel

“When I said rock him to sleep….”

22/03/23 15:12:05

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

"I turned the spare room into an orifice."

18/03/23 12:11:54

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

Starring a bunch of old has Beans.

16/03/23 20:00:47, edited: 17/03/23 9:39:50

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

This is why you never flush the loo while the train's stationary.

13/03/23 20:00:14

John Harrison Vote score: 10807John Harrison

And so it came to pass that dozens of captioneers stared blankly at their screens.

13/03/23 12:02:17

Nigel Marshall Vote score: 2161Nigel Marshall

“Freeze!”

12/03/23 20:01:24

Jo Vote score: 4769Jo

Snow patrol

12/03/23 20:00:17

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

“Oh my god, my husband is home early from the pub. QUICK, GET OUT… and you better leave through the front door because he always climbs through the window naked when he’s drunk.”

12/03/23 8:01:39, edited: 12/03/23 8:03:12

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''If Jan won't look after him, April May.''

11/03/23 8:52:56

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

Dadpool

10/03/23 20:00:11

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20212Mr Dome

Have you been involved in an accident that wasn't your volt?

10/03/23 12:12:30

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

Sarah had it fitted so Dave can be aware of its existence.

09/03/23 12:00:22

It's about time Dave used the toilet, he's been using the cat litter tray for far too long now --Glyn Evans
The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"Dave, you didn't have to set fire to it. I'm sure someone would've voted for your captions eventually."

08/03/23 20:04:45

Tony S Vote score: 12897Tony S

Both have an annoying Harry on the flip side.

08/03/23 12:02:08

Tony Edwards Vote score: 42711Tony Edwards

Vroom with a view

05/03/23 21:03:22

John Harrison Vote score: 10807John Harrison

Parasole

04/03/23 12:01:21

James Lennox Vote score: 26126James Lennox

- 21
- Hung like a horse
- Sexual deviant
- Behind you

25/02/23 8:00:16

Nod to my dating profile. --Tony S
C CaMel Vote score: 19694C CaMel

“You’re still thinking about the castration aren’t you?”

23/02/23 20:36:13

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

Scrap petal

22/02/23 12:00:43

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

"God, Muriel, you could at least brush away the cake crumbs."

20/02/23 20:05:26

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''We Winalot of our races.''

12/02/23 8:06:30

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 16436Hercules Rockefeller

Lee would later be accused of using performance enhancing dogs.

12/02/23 8:05:39

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

Darling, I think the car has a punkture.

10/02/23 12:00:24

Johnny Rotten luck... --Julia Kinsey
C CaMel Vote score: 19694C CaMel

I had one as a pet, it dyed.

07/02/23 8:17:12

Julia Kinsey Vote score: 2549Julia Kinsey

I won’t string up those who come up with “Cat and the Fiddle” or “Schrödinger” puns because I don’t agree with acts of violins

06/02/23 12:00:15

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''Can you take the kids to school, darling?''

''Sorry, I've got too much on my plate.''

05/02/23 12:03:01

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

The flag of Iceland

04/02/23 12:00:07

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

Trainee chef

03/02/23 12:02:07

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

“Excuse me doctor, should you really be doing that whilst my husband is in there doing a sperm sample?”

01/02/23 12:03:40

Tony S Vote score: 12897Tony S

Leap of Faith, Grace, Julie, Susan and Claire.

29/01/23 8:23:21

Ian Skelding Vote score: 35274Ian Skelding

Readers digest.

27/01/23 12:00:19, edited: 27/01/23 12:00:52

Pri Mustor Vote score: 125Pri Mustor

Rock, third from the son.

26/01/23 12:23:55

KT A Vote score: 12943KT A

You should take that washing in, it’s about to reindeer

25/01/23 8:00:09

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

Anneka Rice is the latest celeb to be accused of queue jumping.

24/01/23 8:12:13

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''I've made you some more toast, dear.''

''Well done.''

22/01/23 12:28:11

vincent hefter Vote score: 1400vincent hefter

I wouldn't be seen dead in one of these. Or alive, come to think of it...

21/01/23 8:00:15

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8847Crunchy Chords
5 out of 2 Dentists Recommend

18/01/23 20:00:26

B L Vote score: 72B L

English teachers incensed over car proven to be both stationary and stationery.

17/01/23 20:01:05

I'm still getting over the time a bad batch of incense incensed me. --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''Would you like the store to deliver it?''

''No, I'm a collector.''

16/01/23 9:00:26

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20212Mr Dome

It's classed as game meat

16/01/23 8:52:32

Julia Kinsey Vote score: 2549Julia Kinsey

“We have to darling, he’s your brother”

14/01/23 20:05:25

vincent hefter Vote score: 1400vincent hefter

Have I seen these cats before? Maybe. The one on the left rings a bell.

13/01/23 12:00:16

I think it's Dave Bryan's.  --Dot Old
Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

Have I Got Mews For You

13/01/23 12:00:13

Mark England Vote score: 24107Mark England

"You spoil that bloody squirrel"

11/01/23 20:03:52

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

Chipmonks tend to copy human behaviour. He must have been watching the captioneers clutching at straws again.

11/01/23 12:14:16, edited: 11/01/23 12:24:49

Craig Eddsenior Vote score: 2415Craig Eddsenior

Great at playing bagpipes... Rubbish at hiding tennis balls.

08/01/23 13:20:18

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

“Before you read the papers, Your Majesty, you might want a coffee.”

05/01/23 20:00:35

Or a brandy... --Julia Kinsey
Tony S Vote score: 12897Tony S

Every time we have an argument she just needs time to simmer down.

05/01/23 8:23:40

Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 16234Neil Mackenzie

To go from desired to adored.

31/12/22 20:04:33

Oh that’s just lovely! 🥰 --Julia Kinsey
Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''Don't worry, I'm not going to throw you in the canal. I'm only pulling your leg.''

31/12/22 12:30:35

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

"Seriously, you want £200,000 for a 5% share of your business?"

28/12/22 20:01:38

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

His bark is better than his sight

26/12/22 12:39:49

Mark Cowling Vote score: 3057Mark Cowling

"Sir, as requested, we finally found four Jacks who could lift the tank."

25/12/22 20:00:08

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

Pizza, Floor 'n' Tina

18/12/22 8:00:13

John Harrison Vote score: 10807John Harrison

I saw exactly the same car last week, except it was green.

12/12/22 8:12:07

The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

"Tony, this is getting ridiculous and it's about time you realised that you've got a hoarding problem. The books are bad enough but where the hell did you get that man from?"

03/12/22 21:01:59

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20212Mr Dome

Zing-Li didn't see the glass partition

01/12/22 20:15:25

Crunchy Chords Vote score: 8847Crunchy Chords

"Promised the missus I'd cut back to one a day."

29/11/22 20:00:28

John Harrison Vote score: 10807John Harrison

Dave made two bad decisions that day - parking where he did and leaving the sunroof open.

27/11/22 13:48:17

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''We knew he was going to be a captioneer when he started regurgitating at six months old.''

25/11/22 12:06:32

Well on this site you're not a non entity, caption author, you made at least 11 people smile with this caption! 😊👌 --KT A
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

His bark's worse than his bike.

24/11/22 20:14:45

Mr Dome  Vote score: 20212Mr Dome

Never do your make-up on a road with speed bumps

22/11/22 12:03:48, edited: 22/11/22 12:04:14

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

''You'll like this caption...........not a lot, but you'll like it.''

21/11/22 8:31:37

So tell me when this is supposed to happen...(still waiting). (*Just kidding. I like this caption...........not a lot, but I like it.) --Willie Johnson
tony kelly Vote score: 2509tony kelly

''Where exactly did the jellyfish sting you, Mr. Smith?''

17/11/22 13:06:18

Max Jennings Vote score: 62Max Jennings

‘Is it ok if I place you on hold? My foots getting cold’

15/11/22 12:05:12

James Lennox Vote score: 26126James Lennox

What happens in the barn, stays in the barn.

12/11/22 20:06:08

Al Overy Vote score: 22059Al Overy

"Jeez, that queue for the loo is massive! Thank goodness I'm wearing a nappy."

11/11/22 12:04:10

Dave Bryan Vote score: 40386Dave Bryan

Statue of What a Liberty

09/11/22 12:04:31

Chris Keegan Vote score: 15725Chris Keegan

Rex is clearly shocked by the size of Micky’s erection.

07/11/22 12:00:12

John Harrison Vote score: 10807John Harrison

The evidence leant towards it being a fake. The depth of the layering, the delicacy of the brush strokes...the fact it was printed on a cheap beach towel.

26/10/22 12:08:05

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 24962Vanessa the Guesser

I'm in two minds whether to read this or not.

22/10/22 19:01:23

Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

"Look, I can see you're not happy so I'll tell you what, I'll knock a hundred quid off the two hundred million."

22/10/22 11:19:04

Supervotes sent. --Molly R
Stephen Bean Vote score: 52748Stephen Bean

Wraptor

21/10/22 11:02:42

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