David Michael

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	lol Everything was going well until Bob got out his pogo stick. 20/11/22 8:07:00	12

	I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell my kids that I"m actually made of money. 06/11/22 8:00:11	12

	Award for best Thai in town 31/10/22 20:00:25	11

	Quartz watch 13/11/22 8:54:46	10

	She's a good shot. Stan wondered how he'd never met herbivore. 12/11/22 13:40:28	10

	When the drugs wore off they realised they were NOT mountain goats 28/11/22 8:00:19	9

	Stabbage 12/12/22 21:12:22	8

	Comes with built-in mountain breeze air freshener 04/11/22 20:02:08	8

	The students were somewhat puzzled by the results of the w*nking competition... 26/07/22 7:06:51	2 8
Behold the wnner. He's the wng king. --Willie Johnson
	clever Ride one of these for too long and you'll just get yourself a sore rhea 06/01/23 22:07:43	7

	I told you the trampoline is for outside only 03/12/22 8:08:47	7

	creative A perfect spot for the Flat Earth society picnic 20/11/22 8:07:15	7

	I'd like to post on caption.me but I'd need to come up with a one-liner. 29/10/22 11:15:57	7

	lol Peter Peter pumpkin eater went mad after 40 years of having the same first name and surname. 15/10/22 6:08:54	7

	creative "It fell close to the iceberg after we sank", Granny Rose said, "If only I had a little more light, I could find that damn necklace". Thu 20:20:38	6

	Snow way out 31/12/22 8:00:10	6

	Never mind thinking of a caption for this, I've just printed it out and stuck it on my thermostat. 15/12/22 20:01:42	6

	clever I shouldn't have ordered those extra few books to get the free delivery 03/12/22 20:01:03	6

	Dad was an avid stamp collector 31/10/22 8:12:38	6

	clever Police are looking for the gang of youths who placed the dog there. However, they're struggling to find leads. 29/10/22 19:03:55	6

	Do you want coke with that? 18/01/23 20:05:50	5

	Due to the ongoing economy crisis, supermarkets are now selling banana splits without the icecream 15/01/23 20:21:34	5

	creative When you knock on a celebrity's door, but can't get through the Crack 31/12/22 8:02:45, edited: 31/12/22 8:16:13	5

	I hope that guy doesn't want to get past me... 28/11/22 8:01:16	5

	All mouth and no trousers. 19/11/22 8:21:36	5

	Sorry, I can't take your call right now, please leave your message after the bleat. 23/10/22 7:03:11	5

	That’ll stop the mice running up 01/01/23 20:00:56	4

	"It's a cover up!" claims news reader. 24/12/22 12:00:54	4

	"I think it would have tasted better with extra anchovies". 01/11/22 8:08:34	4

	Mum, can I dress as Peppa this Halloween 🎃? 30/10/22 8:00:49	4

	That wimpy kid is really sprouting up 27/10/22 7:48:23	4

	It's ok, we're safe up here, we have herd immunity. 13/10/22 20:06:09	4

	All fur coat and no knickers 13/09/22 19:38:48	4

	A squash in a squash 07/01/23 12:00:12	3

	George was hoping that this global warming thing caught on soon... 29/12/22 12:42:59	3

	Get a move on Brian! The horse needs a drink 29/12/22 12:41:58	1 3

	Mention “walkies” and he gets as high as a kite. 03/12/22 8:08:38	3

	Incowgnito 30/11/22 8:08:39	3

	It all started with a BBQ toilet that they'd brought into the house. 25/11/22 20:02:30	3

	I have complete confidence in Michael Fish and the Met office! If they say there will be no storm I believe them. 09/11/22 20:00:14, edited: 10/11/22 0:05:29	1 3

	Archie's mum said he couldn't get his ears pierced...he never got over it. 02/11/22 21:12:09	3

	Absolute pitch perfect 18/10/22 19:03:52	3

	Unfortunately the manual was written by robots to maximise human destruction. 06/08/22 19:35:27	1 3
To Servo Man --Scrijjy Doo
	A symbol of freedom 09/01/23 20:18:27	1 2

	I tossed a coin three times. It resulted in two heads and one tail. 09/01/23 8:00:10	2

	Some say he should wear a helmet, but that's because he's in a nanny state. 01/01/23 8:59:01	2

	When the 3 wise women arrived at Christmas and brought chocolate, sweets and drinks... 27/12/22 8:17:03	2

	All Linda heard the doctor say was, "sometimes wine and chocolate can be beneficial". 27/12/22 8:09:41	2

	Tanked up 25/12/22 20:39:34	2

	Santa contemplates different kinds of delivery after even his reindeer go on strike over Christmas. 18/12/22 12:06:57	2

	I've got a joke that'll blow you're head off. Oh, I see you've already heard it. 08/12/22 20:08:48	2

	"Hopefully when he grows up a bit his legs should be able to reach the ground." 03/12/22 8:08:58	2

	The voters in this constituency are barking mad! 02/12/22 21:06:06	2

	Hopefully attempting a quadruple summersault with triple twist will cure his constipation 01/12/22 20:06:40	2

	The fire started with a flash too 25/11/22 20:00:57	2

	You've heard of a bull in a china shop, now meet the bulldog in a kitchen. 23/11/22 20:48:32	2

	Hair apparent 20/11/22 22:48:43	2

	NCRAP rating: zero stars 14/11/22 20:29:39	2

	I love my earpiece headphones, I can't hear anything except my music 09/11/22 20:01:50	2

	It's behind you! 09/11/22 20:01:12	2

	Let's twist again, like we did last summer 09/11/22 20:00:52	2

	Honey, dinner's ready, I just have to find it! 05/11/22 8:53:34	2

	Steve impressed the bored meeting with his new Zoom filters. 02/11/22 21:08:42	2

	I'll have a beer with that Thai please 31/10/22 20:00:44	1 2

	Dad's crash pad. 31/10/22 8:09:19	2

	This is how parents get symptoms of baby brain. 31/10/22 8:07:28	2

	Just a little something to stop the ringing in your ears when we put on your cow bell 30/10/22 8:00:14	2

	It followed me home. Can I keep it? 29/10/22 11:15:28	2

	Great, you've managed the reverse park, now for the 3-point turn. 24/10/22 11:05:22	2

	That was adhere pan, not sure it was worth it 24/10/22 7:00:41	2

	Is this real? Or is it just a fanta-sea? 08/10/22 8:50:37	2

	Who let ewe in? 27/09/22 20:47:23	2

	The chips are down 26/09/22 12:11:13	2

	"It never was that big, Jean?!" "It sure was,I can barely walk!" 24/09/22 7:23:22	2

	Dave, I think when you've ironed your running gear, you've overdone it on the starch... 23/09/22 21:13:34	2

	It was really difficult putting this costume on, it kept getting stuck between my teeth... 23/09/22 21:12:00	2

	She looks sick as a parrot 21/09/22 4:07:47	2

	"A table near the salad bar please". 12/09/22 16:26:19	2

	Fawtly tower... 11/09/22 10:29:48	2

	The year is 2070: Research on the last piece of ice of the Antarctic Thu 20:19:13	1

	Poor Jim, such a tragedy that he died before his time. We never had a cross-word 15/01/23 20:00:34	1

	The alphabet soup wasn't very nourishing. 15/01/23 19:57:38	1

	Libby was trying to get good reception so she could get her caption in first 09/01/23 20:07:40	2 1

	Fred alway blew things out of proportion. 08/01/23 15:26:09, edited: 08/01/23 15:26:20	1

	Goat to get a move on! 01/01/23 8:53:12	1

	Sorry, I didn't mean to get your goat 01/01/23 8:52:30	1

	Dave was having no success in selling his home, his assets had been frozen. 31/12/22 8:26:42	1

	That's enough snacks to make you break out into a cold sweet 27/12/22 8:01:24	1

	Best mini bar ever! 27/12/22 8:00:50	1

	When the drunk tank needs carrying home.... 25/12/22 20:40:30	1

	It's a real smoothie to drive 12/12/22 21:20:03	1

	The school's safeguarding team were straight on the case when little Johnny brought his home reading book into school 11/12/22 10:48:48	1

	Fred, your headless chicken impression isn't quite right... 08/12/22 20:07:59	1

	I am NOT shaking your hand 01/12/22 8:01:19	1

	You think this is big? You should see the size of my.... Ashtray 29/11/22 20:09:01	1

	This is a great hiding spot Jack! They'll never find us here. 28/11/22 8:01:00	1

	Fire in flats, arson suspected 25/11/22 20:01:46	1

	"The other day, you asked me to explain the term 'brinkmanship' with a real life example....."" 20/11/22 8:07:47	1

	He said the rest of his camping gear and clothes had gone missing from the farmer's field. What a cock and bull story. 19/11/22 21:10:19	1

	Joseph Swan, having another lightbulb moment, identified a new means of faster transport for his family. 19/11/22 21:00:45	1

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