super vote: ( left this week)
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Old age benchioners
16/01/25 20:00:48, edited: 16/01/25 20:01:03
They are doing a split shift.
15/01/25 20:50:48
Apparently his mother is still in a wheelchair
15/01/25 12:10:47
The Roos Brothers
14/01/25 8:00:41
"... and when they're fat enough, you splat 'em with a mallet and fry 'em in butter. Yum.""On air in three, Mr Packham."
11/01/25 21:29:02
I don't think this is what they mean by 'Something old...'
10/01/25 12:02:18
We are not putting the heating on. If you are cold put on another coat.
06/01/25 12:06:35
The Skintstones
01/01/25 20:00:22
I'm sure someone will be looking into it.
27/12/24 12:03:54
When your January credit card bill arrives...
27/12/24 8:16:04
"Well, you could have told me you were colour blind BEFORE we ran six red lights."
24/12/24 8:28:39, edited: 24/12/24 8:36:36
Kelly and Trish liked their asphalt underwater.
23/12/24 20:30:37
Burning Blubber
22/12/24 20:01:04
Gran was having a lovely, quiet afternoon and then little Johnny spotted her hearing aids.
19/12/24 8:09:05
To boldly escargot...
15/12/24 20:01:20
Bites, Camera, Action.
15/12/24 12:03:37, edited: 15/12/24 12:04:32
"I'm leaning towards the chicken."
11/12/24 8:03:02
“I didn’t mean to offend you Mary, all I said is I wanted to see Uranus”
10/12/24 12:04:27
🎵 "The axels on the bus go crack, crack, crack..." 🎵
10/12/24 8:22:51
Why not try a Big Apple instead?
05/12/24 20:08:08
“Bloody hell Hadrian’s been busy “
03/12/24 12:02:05
Yep those roots are a problem
03/12/24 8:50:06
It was the best of times. It was the wurst of times.
01/12/24 12:02:05
''Are you one of those illegal boat people?''
28/11/24 12:36:33
“He was pulled under by a strong currant.”
27/11/24 13:01:31
Teacher's pets
25/11/24 20:00:29
He usually reads the tabbyloids.
21/11/24 8:10:59
Sheer stupidity
20/11/24 8:09:40
Mozfart.
18/11/24 20:01:27
Piano-farte
18/11/24 20:01:00
So how long will it be before her meal arrives.
17/11/24 20:11:04
"And voila! The bird has vanished! ... *burp* "
14/11/24 20:01:34
“Blimey, I thought the Waffle talked a load of crap.”
12/11/24 8:25:41, edited: 12/11/24 8:34:31
Slut machines
03/11/24 20:01:15
“Ok, we buy almost any car…”
31/10/24 8:19:39
Boatanical garden
27/10/24 20:03:04
Pooping Tom
26/10/24 19:27:00
"Can I buy you a drink? What's your poison?"
13/10/24 19:22:53
🎵 Vermin the Mood for Dancing
13/10/24 19:18:49
Put it down as a John Dough.
13/10/24 7:12:09
He has always smoked like a chimney.
11/10/24 7:00:32
Thermosat
06/10/24 7:17:22
I am en-root
04/10/24 7:02:11
Ministrony Soup
29/09/24 7:07:53
"Congratulations, give her a hand!"
26/09/24 19:01:18
I found him online
25/09/24 7:00:48
Bricks and motor
24/09/24 7:01:07
It's just a plop in the ocean
22/09/24 11:03:49
Desperately Soaking Susan
21/09/24 19:06:41
Soggy bottoms for sure
16/09/24 7:01:24
We are out of stock.
15/09/24 11:14:10
Purringles
12/09/24 11:00:35
Frostie reception.
12/09/24 7:00:48
So, are you a leg or breast man?
09/09/24 11:24:47
"I go to all of this trouble stealing the moon and what do I find when I open the boot? No space"
06/09/24 19:08:57
They both knew that it was most likely only ever going to be a whirlwind romance.
06/09/24 7:15:04
I'm taking this one back as it's showing its age, wobbles a lot and swears like a trooper. Mothers, eh?
02/09/24 8:29:09
Sandra’s Lidl helper
02/09/24 7:13:33
Roamin' numerals
01/09/24 11:05:54
Sealver surfer
28/08/24 11:01:22
Bottom needs a good smacking.
27/08/24 19:33:59
Bay Kitty Rollers
25/08/24 11:02:41
She has lots of litters after her name.
24/08/24 19:36:45
''Call that a slice? Don't be so stingy.''
22/08/24 11:30:29
Roses are redViolets are blueI can't find a sodding vase so this cheese grater will have to do
19/08/24 11:03:50
With free death rattle.
17/08/24 12:44:40
"Siri, where's the clitoris?"
15/08/24 19:06:01
''Sorry, caption time.''
15/08/24 19:00:29
When her husband made Tina a surprise dinner, she was frilled.
13/08/24 19:11:57
Playing games keeps their brains active yet no one noticed the tv was turned round.
10/08/24 11:10:48
"Wow. They really do try to prepare you for anything in these flight simulators."
07/08/24 19:13:27
Seize you later alligator.
07/08/24 11:12:56
Do you remember when you got your 1st mobile phone ?
06/08/24 11:06:57
VIII out of X cats prefer Whiskas.
05/08/24 19:26:12, edited: 06/08/24 6:56:50, suggested edits
''Those flowers are costing me a fortune in jeans. They grow out of them so quickly.''
05/08/24 7:25:37, edited: 05/08/24 7:39:44
Bootcut jeans
03/08/24 19:01:44
''I'm not saying the service here is bad but we were brunettes when we ordered the meal.''
02/08/24 11:11:52
And yet I was arrested for washing my cock in the fountain!
31/07/24 19:01:53
We are in the middle of another Pandemic.
31/07/24 7:10:21
“Mum, when you said you’d take us somewhere expensive for my Birthday…”
30/07/24 16:37:40
"..and the prize for the wurst invention goes to.."
27/07/24 11:03:02
"Haven't seen blubber and tashes like that since last years Miss Barnsley."
27/07/24 7:24:27
“I’m so excited I’ll have to change my iPad.”
26/07/24 11:10:57
Rust in peace
26/07/24 7:02:25
"You smell lovely dear what is that"?.... "Channel no. 5"
23/07/24 11:08:00
"Oh no, Dave's sleeper walking again."
21/07/24 11:17:15
Pythagorarse.
18/07/24 19:12:34
The fowl and the pussycat
14/07/24 11:07:42
The Lion Cling
12/07/24 11:00:18
🎵 Oh I do like to tepee by the seaside 🎵
10/07/24 11:08:16, suggested edits
Depressame Street
08/07/24 17:19:42
Rishi Sunak's school dormitory.
04/07/24 11:06:42, edited: 04/07/24 12:41:16, suggested edits
“This trailer looks good.”‘I know, it’s even got a telly.’
02/07/24 7:10:36
Cup and saucy
30/06/24 11:03:29
Upon reaching Mount Doom, Frodo realises he's left the ring in his old Hobbit trousers in Cotswold's changing rooms.
30/06/24 7:14:01
Can I taste anchovies?Later, darling.
29/06/24 8:05:31
"Do you have any dips?"
25/06/24 11:24:59, edited: 25/06/24 11:25:37
Last year's hats now going cheep.
25/06/24 7:13:04
Rebel Without A Claus
24/06/24 7:20:15, edited: 24/06/24 7:45:08
''Does anyone need more chips?''''No thanks, we're still full after the antelope.''
22/06/24 11:44:31
suggested edits
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