	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	55	28	97	#5	38	62	#9	2173	4917	#45
Photos			2	#13				1	6	#20
Comments	12	2	4	#8				54	121	#49
Suggested Edits		1						1

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	37	#16	38	#13	2289	#71
Photos					19	#104
Comments	1	#12			31	#67
Suggested Edits

captions comments received captioned photos

captions


lol x3 creative x2 clever 30/11/22 12:04:55		26 38
Bloody hell. I take a break for a couple of days and when I come back both the November AND December prize winners have been announced ;) --James Lennox

lol 17/08/23 7:12:00		22 33
Many thanks for all your kind comments. Still can't tell which captions are going to get 30+ votes and which will be tumbleweed (which is most of them!) --John Harrison

lol 16/02/23 12:00:22		18 29
Great caption John, I bow to your humor and cleverness. And not just because it's prayer time. If this were ever to happen to you, I hope it won't be the kind of person who reads every label several times before making up their mind.... --Willie Johnson
	Henry Wrinklier 08/10/23 7:13:00	28

	lol creative Tiddles was beginning to think he’d need to make his own dinner. 17/01/23 12:00:27	26

	Time to bring on a sub. 29/08/23 11:00:59	25

	lol Road sign creator collapses dead on keyboard. Final work displayed as tribute. 27/01/23 8:02:40	1 25

	lol clever x2 “Suella freakin’ Braverman…what’s yours?” 23/05/23 7:00:20	24

	“Have you tried switching it off and on again?” 08/03/23 20:00:12	1 23
Can you find the switch? --Willie Johnson
	It was the perfect practical joke...Dave hid his wife's hairbrush where he knew she'd never look. 08/02/23 12:08:53	1 23

	lol x2 creative Thomas The Tank Engine woke up with a throbbing head and a mouth like the inside of a budgies cage. "Can anyone remember where we left Annie and Clarabel last night?" he said. 25/10/22 21:32:00	23

	lol Dave was beginning to regret complaining about Linda making him "the same boring sandwiches" for lunch. 30/03/23 11:36:22	22

	lol clever "No, I'm fine...but have you seen a bloke on water skis?" 11/10/22 20:03:42, edited: 11/10/22 20:45:43	2 22
*seen --James Lennox
	clever French Nickers 06/11/23 20:08:20	21

	lol x2 Loo Ferrigno 16/05/23 11:00:51	1 21

	clever Ski Sundae 16/01/23 12:00:13	21

	Dave's wife was just relieved she hadn't gone away for the full week. 05/11/22 8:00:42	21

	lol Not everyone could carry that outfit off like Dave, let alone at their mother-in-laws funeral wake 22/11/22 20:00:38	20

	lol Party like it's 1889 26/10/22 19:00:34	20

	Supply of photos dries up and site owner forced to delve into personal collection. 26/06/23 11:03:39, edited: 26/06/23 12:45:55	6 19
"photo's" should be "photos"Other than that, caption is 100% accurate. If anyone wants the uncensored version, DM me, I'm open to reasonable offers :-D --Chris Beach
	Nice, but I really need a boot. 14/02/23 12:00:14	19

	"Why can't I have a mobility scooter like everybody else?" 13/10/23 7:15:49	18

	Dave was beginning to think it was time to trim his chest hair. 09/09/23 11:01:23	18

	"Now where's that tosser with the Rottweiler?" 06/05/23 11:06:02	18

	“I’m going on strike as well. They’re paying me chicken feed.” 18/04/23 7:00:15	18

	Superman was confident he could tackle one Danny Devito, but not three of the buggers. 03/02/23 20:00:20	18

	lol "Give it three years and she'll look just like me. Just sayin'" 18/10/23 7:03:56	17

	"Can't believe all those folk just ran off and left all this food behind" 16/10/23 11:03:15	1 17

	"There's got to be easier ways of sneaking out for a pint Reg." 05/07/23 19:04:04	17

	lol “Unfortunately, none of the four photographs submitted conform with UK passport criteria. Please retake without the stuffed cat.” 15/02/23 12:01:59, edited: 15/02/23 14:19:57	4 17
The dead parrot sketch is light hearted, is it not? 🤔 --Glyn Evans
	lol creative Rare find for David Attenborough as he stumbles across the nest of a Leather-Arsed Grebe 26/11/22 12:00:34	17

	lol x2 "I thought the hangover was bad enough...and then the toilet seat slammed down." 17/11/22 12:43:12	17

	Rupee cushion 09/11/23 12:03:05	16

	"It's not that I'm not enjoying it, but could we go to the swings or something on our second date?" 03/11/23 20:05:39	16

	lol Anyone repulsed by Dave's depiction of Marilyn Monroe really wasn't ready for his Sharon Stone. 08/10/23 13:31:43, edited: 08/10/23 13:34:16	1 16

	Ironically, it was this exact pose that had resulted in her becoming a mummy in the first place. 15/09/23 7:09:39	16

	Bone China 08/09/23 11:01:04	1 16
Except for the teeth. They're porcelain. --Karyn Harrison
	The Repair Shop "not what it was", say TV critics. 25/08/23 11:25:27	16

	Round one. 18/05/23 15:15:35	16

	creative Mystery surrounds fate of missing hairdresser. 17/05/23 7:06:41	16

	“Think that again and I’ll punch you in the face.” 17/12/22 12:00:14	16

	“Do you have everything you need madam, or would you like me to get you a shovel?” 26/11/22 8:41:34	16

	“Not another one Boris!” 21/11/22 20:00:14	16

	clever If you thought getting on the wrong side of The Mafia was bad, try upsetting The Entomology Society. 06/11/22 21:23:44	16

	creative clever Dave liked to have his Cholestrol checked regularly. 17/10/22 9:26:23	16

	"Not the same as a proper tummy tickle, is it Dave?" 05/11/23 8:04:06	15

	"Bloody hell Dorothy, looks like Tinman has been working out." 02/07/23 19:05:41	15

	Picture clearly faked. No way that ginger kid would be out in the sun. 21/06/23 11:12:31	15

	Dental in plant 25/03/23 20:33:50	15

	"I don't care if you have a flat tyre sir, you can use a jack like everyone else." 21/03/23 8:05:41	15

	Heads or Wales? 08/03/23 12:00:12	15

	It was a difficult job, but being an undertaker wasn’t without perks 02/02/23 8:00:41	15

	"Anything for the weekend sir?" "Yes, a dozen Elastoplast and a prosthetic nose please." 29/01/23 14:35:09	15

	Dealer-shep 21/12/22 8:16:18	15

	Britain’s border control capability explained 07/12/22 20:01:29	15

	lol "This is gonna take for ever. Tight sod could have bought easy-peelers!" 11/11/22 20:59:55	15

	lol clever It was a simple system. If there was a pair left, they'd start dredging the pool. 19/10/22 8:42:15	15

	"Do you want cries with that?" 05/09/23 7:04:26	1 14
And a large choke? --Karen McDonald
	lol Should’ve gone to Downing Street 25/05/23 19:00:20	14

	When you've parked too far from the pump and are determined to make it reach. 14/05/23 7:04:08	14

	"What are we eating tonight Hammy?" "Oh, just something I've throne together." 13/04/23 12:48:11	14

	And so it came to pass that dozens of captioneers stared blankly at their screens. 13/03/23 12:02:17	14

	Parasole 04/03/23 12:01:21	14

	I saw exactly the same car last week, except it was green. 12/12/22 8:12:07	14

	Dave made two bad decisions that day - parking where he did and leaving the sunroof open. 27/11/22 13:48:17	14

	The evidence leant towards it being a fake. The depth of the layering, the delicacy of the brush strokes...the fact it was printed on a cheap beach towel. 26/10/22 12:08:05	14

	Gran Turisimo Mon 12:19:13, edited: Mon 12:19:43	13

	Knuckle sandwich 01/10/23 7:02:03	1 13

	"Humping the radiator isn't going to help, Rex." 14/09/23 7:01:34	13

	Behind the benign smile lay a sinister tale. Mildred's husband had disappeared in 1972 and nothing had been seen of him since. On every birthday, Mildred prepared herself a treat, and for her 95th, she'd saved something very special. 16/08/23 7:13:01	1 13

	"And how am I supposed to reach the pedals?" 23/06/23 7:18:52	13

	Barnsley “not fully prepared” for electric vehicle revolution, say local officials. 17/05/23 7:04:30	13

	"You couldn't hit a cows arse at 50 paces, Zeus." "Hold my beer." 11/05/23 11:28:41	2 13

	Escape Room 15/04/23 11:00:13	13

	Medical breakthrough as three new antibiotics discovered in Hull 01/03/23 13:10:51, edited: 01/03/23 13:11:30	13

	Scary Spice 22/02/23 21:24:47	13

	lol There was nothing Dave enjoyed more than launching an unprovoked mortar attack on an unsuspecting neighbour. 01/12/22 13:17:31	13

	clever "...and the vet said it's probably tinnitus." 23/10/22 7:26:39	13

	...and the winning Pumpkins in the 'carve-a-celebrity' competition go to David Dickinson and Katie Price. 21/10/22 20:04:51	13

	"Just a couple more hours Miss Winslet and we'll be ready to go." Mon 8:18:45	12

	Park Drench 02/09/23 21:19:59	12

	"...and as we move into February..." 29/08/23 7:10:47	12

	"I wish she'd stop flashing her tits." 21/08/23 7:10:42	12

	"Remember that little two seater we used to have Mavis before the 128 kids came along?" 15/08/23 7:13:50	12

	"Just the 2,500 coming round tonight." 11/08/23 19:05:40	12

	She literally waited on him hand and foot. 29/06/23 7:08:53	12

	"No, course I haven't left the handbrake on. Do you think I'm an idiot?" 14/05/23 7:02:45	12

	Frantic scenes at Glasgow Central as charity collectors spotted approaching platform. 16/02/23 20:11:19	12

	clever Dave had no idea how the cub had got stuck to the window, and even less idea how to remove it. 12/02/23 20:08:01	1 12

	Lad-in-der Field 06/11/22 13:06:12	12

	lol The works outing had been fun and the mill owner promised that if everyone worked really hard, he might start the engine next year. 12/10/22 19:17:22	12

	"Alright mate, take off your watch and any jewellery and walk straight through." 28/10/23 7:44:39	11

	"Anyway, enough about my hair...are you buying the couch or not?" 27/10/23 11:41:52	11

	"If we go through another speed camera I want to look my best." 12/10/23 7:10:48	2 11
Doing your make-up, were you? --Mr Dome
	The 'Hot chicks on motorbikes' link wasn't what Dave was expecting. 28/06/23 7:14:49	11

	"I'm sweating me nads off here lads, and then in December they'll have us doing the swimsuit stuff." 24/06/23 7:32:48	11

	If at first you don't succeed... 25/05/23 8:53:18	1 11

	His bark is worse than his bite. 20/05/23 7:02:47	11

	"It's okay, it's okay...it's only the ginger one." 10/05/23 19:01:54	11

	Quarter Pounder With Keys. 23/03/23 20:00:17	11

more captions

last comments (total: 155)

'Young And Wired'... To -'Old And Tired.'

[anon]

08/10/23
4:13pm

comment on caption:
Happy Days. Nappy Days [John Harrison]

Let's hope his Basic Instinct is 'not' to cross and un-cross his legs

[anon]

09/10/23
3:07am

comment on caption:
Anyone repulsed by Dave's depiction of Marilyn Monroe really wasn't ready for his Sharon Stone. [John Harrison]

Nod to 8.07.21. Hadn't seen it.

(caption author)

12/10/23
7:12am

comment on caption:
"If we go through another speed camera I want to look my best." [John Harrison]

Doing your make-up, were you?

Mr Dome

12/10/23
7:43am

comment on caption:
"If we go through another speed camera I want to look my best." [John Harrison]

"Is that it?

I would have expected more from a dish called Revenge, not this luke warm crap you've accidentally fallen about the kitchen making and decided to serve up. Please take it away and fetch me at least a mediocre attempt at Revenge, if you're capable of it that is.

I really do hope this is down to you and you alone and not a group effort, otherwise the level of sheer incompetence would be gastronomic"