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Super Mario Art
14/01/26 20:00:20
Prickly pair
12/01/26 12:01:03
đ” It's my party and I'll die if I want to. đ”
09/01/26 12:02:54
The costumes caused quite a stir.
30/12/25 20:06:55
Mary Queen of Squats
30/12/25 8:00:39
The American occupation of Greenland might not last that long.
28/12/25 8:42:37
Photoe
27/12/25 8:01:58
Secretarial pool
22/12/25 20:00:35
She went overboard at the hairdressers.
21/12/25 12:07:57
Well I just asked the hairdresser to spruce up my hair
18/12/25 8:04:33
"This party has no atmosphere"
14/12/25 12:04:06
Greasy Jet
14/12/25 8:02:23
âMick Jagger claimed to have never met my Mother.ââMe too!â
12/12/25 8:04:55
âThatâs nothing, our Polly put a kettle on.â
11/12/25 8:12:13
"Hello Mr Brown this is pest control. The good news is you no longer have a mouse problem.. "
10/12/25 20:17:38
Check in at our immaculate reception
09/12/25 8:02:40
They broke the mold, with this one.
07/12/25 8:02:18
"So Dave how long is your mother in law staying over Christmas?"
03/12/25 8:08:32
''We met on Plenty of Fission.''
01/12/25 20:10:06
"Why don't you try auditioning for Sesame Street instead? There's a part that would suit you down to the ground."
29/11/25 14:05:00
''I bet she's had a cockatoo.''
28/11/25 8:01:55
Their popularity soon waned. They were a one shit wonder.
27/11/25 12:10:02
âWell we canât call you the sword swallowing triplets anymoreâŠâ
25/11/25 8:05:42
During the Al-Fayed years, Christmas at Harrod's was very different.
24/11/25 8:29:16
Chemistry kit
23/11/25 20:13:05
"Who pulled the pug out?"
21/11/25 12:11:22
Sex change
14/11/25 12:02:37
Sheâs out of his league
13/11/25 8:14:06
I've just relocated from our Bury branch.
02/11/25 12:09:52
"Why did she pass out Dave?""I don't know. I'd just offered to help her with the washing..."
28/10/25 20:37:40, edited: 28/10/25 20:38:38
There were only two when we left Calais.
28/10/25 8:04:09
One of the hardest jobs in olden times was being a mobile ashtray
23/10/25 19:15:20
"It's okay... the crab's gone, dad."
23/10/25 7:01:48
J K Rowling donates new toilet for transgender men wishing to use the Ladies restroom
14/10/25 7:17:23
Unfortunately Tina broke her Cola bone.
05/10/25 11:07:54
For wetter or for worse
04/10/25 19:09:59, edited: 04/10/25 19:11:52
"Now try and ignore me!"
29/09/25 11:00:33
Honda AChord
28/09/25 11:08:43
Never Mind the Bourbons
27/09/25 11:03:33
''You can go back to your desks now. I want you all to try and think outside the box.''
26/09/25 7:02:22
A spring wedding
25/09/25 19:01:08
I feel another Andrew Lloyd Webber musical coming on.
19/09/25 19:08:34
âDo you think being an airline stewardess might not have been your best career choice â said Dave
15/09/25 11:04:55
"To have and to... Hold 'em up!"
15/09/25 7:10:25
It's not unusual to find pussy in a red light area.
14/09/25 19:01:13
âÂŁ5 for a tiny bag of hay?!â
12/09/25 11:42:36
French Connection?
10/09/25 11:05:39
''Mmm...It's gone steiff again.''
05/09/25 7:55:30
"Sorry I'm late, darling. The traffic was crawling."
04/09/25 7:03:39
"Thank-you for loaning me the crown jewels for my trick," said Dynamo. "Oh, shit, where did they go?"
03/09/25 19:02:51, edited: 03/09/25 19:05:26
"That was my caption idea! Where's my ÂŁ50?" demanded John's mum.
01/09/25 7:16:35, edited: 01/09/25 7:18:10
"Have I passed?"
27/08/25 11:06:26
She was drowning in debt.
24/08/25 19:04:16, edited: 24/08/25 19:47:12
''You spoil that vampire.''
21/08/25 7:05:46, edited: 21/08/25 7:06:48
What on Earth are you wearing?
10/08/25 11:51:24
đ” Don't stop me-ow đ”
07/08/25 19:26:30
Grrrrrl with a pearl earring.
06/08/25 19:06:31, edited: 06/08/25 19:07:34
BBC reveal new Doctor Who.
06/08/25 7:07:38
Never get drunk with Picasso then pass out.
05/08/25 7:02:36
Elepants
03/08/25 7:01:15
âWe need some Spot remover on that couch.â
28/07/25 19:03:01, edited: 28/07/25 19:14:38, suggested edits
Take me to your feeder!
23/07/25 11:00:32
"I've got us a discreet VIP box for the Coldplay concert so no one will find out"
21/07/25 7:11:27
"Have you ever thought that you might not be very good at shoplifting" said PC Dave
20/07/25 7:03:22
''When the Captain threw his grenade at the Germans which of you idiots brought it back to him?''
19/07/25 20:11:17
âKenwood.ââI think anyone would.â
18/07/25 19:01:35
"What did you do at the weekend Dave?""Got shit faced."
17/07/25 11:00:49
Weight Watchers portion size cheat spoon
16/07/25 7:09:47
Jurassic Spark
12/07/25 7:03:06
They didn't like me breastfeeding when I came here last week. They told me not to show my face there again.
08/07/25 11:05:21
"They won't be expecting our secret weapon, British cooking."
07/07/25 19:06:20
Just like Mr Booze and Mr Bet, Mr Smoke never made the final cut of the Mr Men.
03/07/25 19:17:39, edited: 04/07/25 8:08:14
People leaving Glastonbury after Rod Stewart's first song...
30/06/25 11:05:18
Eddie Lizzard
28/06/25 7:02:42
Cosmetic Sturgeon
27/06/25 7:03:19
Dave's satnav was going crazy. 'Bear to the left, bear to the right, bear straight ahead'
24/06/25 11:02:17, edited: 24/06/25 11:02:44
Westminster Tabby.
22/06/25 11:09:22
"No, Superman, you may not explore my batcave."
15/06/25 19:04:06
"Sorry about the omission on your order. I'll be back in six months with the Diet Coke."
13/06/25 19:30:34
"Next week on extreme sports we have a man on some kind of death wish. He's going to attempt to run the length of a rugby pitch against 22 women on their menstrual cycle, whilst holding a chocolate egg"
11/06/25 11:13:05
The result of a storm in a teacup.
11/06/25 7:01:53
''You're not obliged to say anything, madam, but I'd appreciate it if you stopped laughing.''
07/06/25 11:32:20
"Ok, that's your head massage done, Sal. That'll be one regurgitated herring please."
06/06/25 19:05:26
One Million Years AC/DC
05/06/25 11:00:22, edited: 05/06/25 11:00:55
"So Dave, they stole your chips when you was an eight year old boy. Can't you just forgive and forget?"
02/06/25 7:10:54
"I'll be amazed if they get both our species right" said the racoon to the turtle.
01/06/25 11:08:16, edited: 01/06/25 16:36:43, suggested edits
''I made the mistake of taking my car to one of those 'Mickey Mouse' garages.''
23/05/25 7:03:17
Top Deer
14/05/25 19:05:00
A Knight on the tiles.
12/05/25 11:08:13
Cereal killer
07/05/25 19:00:29
I always wondered how Tommy Cooper might look when reincarnated. I saw this dog and thought 'just like that'
02/05/25 11:12:43
âMy parents were shot then me and my brother were captured by poachers and sold to an illegal zoo, thatâs how I ended up here, you?ââClaw machine.â
02/05/25 9:05:32
It's nice that they both found Holmes.
27/04/25 7:01:02
"Ah, here it is...'How to Make Clothes out of Old Curtains'."
24/04/25 7:08:10, edited: 24/04/25 7:09:29
Glasgow woman sits in bathroom for 48 hours after daughter swallows fifty pence piece.
09/04/25 7:27:27
Crow Bar
08/04/25 7:00:36
"Tarzan.. Your taxi's here. '
05/04/25 11:42:44, edited: 05/04/25 12:07:07
Youâve hit the male on the head
03/04/25 7:04:45
âWhen I said I like women in fishnetsâŠâ
01/04/25 7:13:03
Weapons of brass destruction
26/03/25 12:00:55
suggested edits
