Sending private messages on this site is currently disabled due to abuse by spammers.

Please use the forum to send private messages instead.

	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	72	17	75	#4	35	104	#2	13073	31248	#5
Photos
Comments	18	1			4	6	#3	1322	1552	#4
Forum Posts		3						13
Suggested Edits	4							6	6	#9

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	33	#12	44	#8	13164	#18
Photos	1	#12			658	#28
Comments			2	#3	1121	#7
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits	2	#2	2	#2	10	#5

captions comments received captioned photos

captions


clever creative x2 lol 14/12/23 20:05:07, edited: 15/03/24 18:17:50		21 36
Many congratulations, Dave! This picture was one of my first attempts at creating something using AI. I'm so pleased to see it inspired such a brilliant caption. Well done!And thanks, Vivvy. I'm glad you liked the picture. --Karyn Harrison
	lol x2 ''Darling, when you've finished putting the tree up would you come and carve the sparrow.'' 01/12/23 12:23:30	1 29
Let her finish her thimble full of sherry first. --John Glover
	clever x2 When Tom saw what was happening on the other side of the lake he decided to take a gander. 15/04/23 8:25:17, edited: 15/04/23 8:26:48	1 27
Curiosity chilled the cat. --KimJong Pun
	''Waiter, will the pizza be long?'' ''Yes.'' 04/01/23 20:00:14, edited: 04/01/23 20:00:38	27

	lol creative x2 clever ''Hello, Derbyshire police, it's Tom here. I've just seen a couple walking their dog.'' 31/03/20 8:04:05	26

	''Well, Jane, it looks like I was right. The trams do run on Sundays.'' 23/07/23 8:55:41	25

	clever Local residents were becoming increasingly worried about the volume of traffic. 11/07/23 20:34:50, edited: 11/07/23 20:39:47	25

	The Emperors' new clothes 20/01/23 8:00:42, edited: 20/01/23 8:00:59	25

	lol ''The conference hall bar is now open, if anyone would like to purchase a gottle o' geer.'' 16/10/22 12:01:00	25

	Messcafe 26/02/24 20:03:33	24

	Cold Trafford 10/04/23 8:00:09	24

	lol Stoned baked pizza 08/08/21 20:20:57	24

	lol x2 ''How much longer are you going to be in there?'' 26/02/24 12:03:50	23

	''Help yourself. There's no strings attached.'' 20/01/24 12:06:32	23

	Fat women riding ostriches? Somehow I don't think it will take off. 30/07/23 20:21:40, edited: 30/07/23 20:38:07	2 23

	''Read the small print, Billy. The Devil is in the detail.'' 08/04/23 8:07:49	23

	lol ''It's not my fault the nest is a shambles. The instructions were in Swedish and three of the twigs were missing.'' 16/06/22 20:29:20	23

	lol ''What have you got to say for yourself?'' ''Meow.'' 15/10/21 12:09:02	1 23
Your cat clearly helped you with this one Dave! --Chris Keegan
	clever When the shit hits the man. 07/04/24 20:56:13	22

	clever ''Have you ever fought before?'' ''I was wrestling with the accounts all morning.'' 02/03/24 8:20:01, edited: 02/03/24 8:28:26	22

	CLOSING TIME AT KNOWSLEY SAFARI PARK ''Don't worry, it must be hiding in the bushes.'' 08/02/24 12:08:35	1 22
Crap, sorry Dave. I missed voting on this pic. Would have Supervoted this. --James Lennox
	''If someone doesn't buy a brick soon, I'm going to throw in the trowel.'' 27/01/24 8:05:07	22

	Arch Garfunkel 24/01/24 8:29:18	22

	How could anybody refuse him? 10/10/23 8:00:57	22

	''I love a nice cup of coffee in the middle of the mourning.'' 14/05/23 12:19:07	22

	creative ''If only we could have had the blizzard before your mother arrived.'' 31/12/22 8:20:07	22

	lol ''I wish he wouldn't throw the stick so far.'' 03/12/21 20:25:23	2 22
Let seeking dogs fly --Glad You Remember
	''Darling, we need to re-seed the lawn. That bear patch looks terrible.'' 20/05/21 8:01:33	22

	''Let me come with you, Johnny. Don't leave me here alone. I won't be a nuisance. Please, I'm begging you. Listen to me, I'll die if you go.'' ''For Christ's sake, Martha, I'm only putting the bins out.'' 16/08/20 20:49:00	22

	lol ''How are you going to cure me?'' ''Just Like That!'' 26/02/20 12:03:06	10 22
I had a teacher who used to set his alarm for 3am so he could get up and have a ciggy... --James Lennox
	''Don't worry, his Bach is worse than his bite.'' 17/12/18 8:00:36	22

	''If you buy ten packs, we'll throw in the towel.'' 08/11/18 20:16:31	14 22
Many thanks for the kind comments. Looking at the quality of the previous winners, I'm delighted to now be one of them.The dosh will also come in useful. Next time my wife says ''Are you wasting your time doing those stupid captions again... --Dave Bryan
	Tool Hand Luke 07/03/24 20:20:33	21

	''Well done, lads, we've got that mouse surrounded.'' 29/02/24 12:06:11	21

	''Darling, I think you should take a break from donating blood.'' 02/08/23 8:03:39	2 21

	''If you ask me, the council spoils those binmen.'' 24/07/23 12:03:14	21

	Another half-arsed idea 27/04/23 8:03:31	21

	lol ''I don't like this cheese, dad. Where's The Laughing Cow?'' ''Your mother will be home later.'' 23/02/23 12:28:11	21

	lol creative BREAKING French step up security on Calais coast. 17/11/22 8:01:05	21

	WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Somewhere near her ankles. 04/11/22 8:15:14	21

	''Nightingale?'' ''No, I'm going to the pictures after dinner.'' 15/09/22 8:03:57, edited: 15/09/22 8:07:29	1 21
I once went out with a girl named Gayle. She had a terrible wind problem. --James Lennox
	''I can't see Newcastle avoiding relegation, Gary. They're just too exposed at the back.'' 26/03/21 8:33:21	21

	lol ''This is a station announcement for all those passengers wishing to commit suicide: The train due to be arriving on platform 1 will now be arriving on Platform 2.'' 27/05/20 21:12:30	2 21
Looks like there'll be no departures today. --Karyn Harrison
	''I'm absolutely worn out, prowling round Essex all night trying to find a virgin.'' 01/05/20 12:13:13	21

	Early gurning centre 14/08/19 8:02:06	21

	Jurassic Parking 25/02/24 8:01:47	20

	''She only used to visit us occasionally but now she's become part of the furniture.'' 13/02/24 8:01:38, edited: 13/02/24 8:03:19	20

	lol ''Of course I emptied the pot before I put it on my head. What kind of imbecile do you think I am?'' 25/09/23 8:40:05	20

	creative ''I wish the kids would play outside instead of always being under my feet.'' 18/07/23 12:18:12	20

	clever 🎵 Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner............. 15/05/23 12:00:38, edited: 15/05/23 12:02:02	20

	This photo looks like it has been digitally enhanced. 28/04/23 8:00:10	20

	Buoy scouts 24/04/23 8:16:18	20

	Later that afternoon Dave fell and killed himself working on the flat above. But that's another storey. 10/02/23 20:05:24	20

	''When did you first notice it was different to your right foot?'' 19/11/22 8:03:52	20

	lol Another graduate from the Theresa May School of Dancing. 24/09/22 8:01:47	20

	''Does anyone else want to object to the wedding?'' 05/09/22 20:04:56	20

	lol ''Why can't we go any faster, dad?'' ''There's probably a woman ahead holding up the traffic.'' 03/01/22 8:21:01	20

	lol ''On reflection, thirty quid does seem a bit cheap for a luxury spa weekend.'' 18/11/21 8:02:43	20

	''She's going to need plastic surgery.'' 17/05/21 20:00:15	20

	clever x2 Sadly, Daisy is still trying to find a byre for her paintings. 19/02/21 12:13:20	20

	lol New 'Ice Age' movie ruined by product placement say critics. 16/07/20 8:33:51	20

	lol clever ''He didn't suffer. He fried in his sleep.'' 30/06/20 20:00:38	1 20

	lol clever ''I look down on him because I am a Waitrose pumpkin.'' ''I look up to him because he is a Waitrose pumpkin but I look down on him because he is an Aldi pumpkin. I am a Tesco pumpkin.'' ''I know my place.'' 18/11/19 9:06:02	2 20
Very clever! --Karyn Harrison
	Gay pride 19/08/19 8:00:09	1 20

	lol ''Don't mention the War-burtons.'' 08/10/18 21:26:05	2 20
Took me a while .... but a vote worthy fun caption. --John Glover
	The buck stops here 14/06/18 12:00:17	20

	Their relationship is already on the rocks. 22/03/24 8:02:12, edited: 22/03/24 8:02:27	19

	THE GREAT DAVENDO ''To be honest the trick works better with a swordfish.'' 14/03/24 8:12:27	19

	lol x2 ''You f-cking bastards.'' THREE DAYS EARLIER ''Instead of getting a cat sitter, why don't we take Mittens to Scotland with us.'' 25/02/24 12:04:43, edited: 25/02/24 12:57:31	19

	''Looks like there's not much left in the kitty.'' 22/02/24 8:01:47, edited: 22/02/24 8:02:49	19

	lol We've all been there - trying to get money out of a Scotsman. 18/02/24 12:36:15	19

	lol clever ''Since the Dave Awards I can't shift these Wolf shirts fast enough,'' said site manager, Chris Beach. 14/01/24 12:22:15	19

	''He's always stirring up trouble.'' 21/11/23 8:07:03	19

	Upwardly mobile 17/08/23 12:00:47	19

	clever At the annual Bubble Blowers Association meeting it was strictly members only. 17/08/23 8:23:22	19

	One for the rodent 16/06/23 13:34:12	19

	''When did you first notice the pain in your right shoulder?'' ''When you started squeezing it.'' 20/05/23 20:04:58, edited: 21/05/23 7:57:32	5 19
Is this a doctored doctor joke? --Al Overy
	lol ''Does my plum look big in this?'' 31/03/23 12:00:55, edited: 31/03/23 12:01:19	2 19
"not at all,looks like you've lost a stone" --KimJong Pun
	Crush hour 16/02/23 20:00:40	19

	clever ''Mummy, why doesn't this tit work?'' ''Because he's a lazy bastard.'' 17/11/21 20:01:03	19

	clever ''Good afternoon. I'd like to talk to you about Cod.'' 13/06/21 12:13:25	3 19
Holy mackerel! --Willie Johnson
	creative ''Am I OK here, Vincent?'' ''Actually, I've changed my mind. I think the painting will be better without you in it.'' 15/09/20 8:15:47	19

	lol x2 clever Shortly after this photo was taken, the penguin on the left was eaten by a seal. Please take this into account when you are posting your captions. 02/07/20 12:43:32	4 19
2 days in and it looks like the Â£50 prize is already buggered for the month. Great caption. --James Lennox
	''Can I have some mice in it?'' 22/08/19 8:00:24	19

	clever The museum decided to hang the main exhibit slightly left of centaur. 24/02/19 8:05:35	19

	clever That's no mere cat. 14/01/19 12:00:40	2 19

	lol clever Where's Wally: Level 1 21/09/18 12:02:11	19

	Jane decides to leave her Tokyo accommodation. 24/07/18 8:23:17	19

	Conclusive proof that too much fruit gives you the runs. Tue 8:06:08	18

	Counter intelligence 27/03/24 8:42:37, edited: 27/03/24 9:11:53	18

	''There is a downside. I've got six mothers-in-law.'' 04/03/24 8:26:44	18

	Copper feel 18/02/24 8:40:28	18

	''I don't like living here. The landlord is always on my back.'' 26/10/23 8:18:06	18

	Now the funnel have to stop. 13/10/23 12:07:42	18

	But you will often find 'Blackpool' written in rock. 02/10/23 8:55:38, edited: 02/10/23 8:57:15	18

	Although Dave was an experienced photographer, he was still having problems with overexposure. 23/05/23 12:01:19	18

	creative ''A male streaker has just ran onto the pitch, Mildred.'' ''I can't see anything.'' ''What do you expect in this weather?'' 10/04/23 8:21:35	18

	SPORT: BREAKING In a bid to increase their wages, professional female bowlers have begun a series of strikes. 10/01/23 8:02:21	18

	creative Perhaps our American captioneer can explain this vehicle. Is it a boxcar, Willie? 02/01/23 8:08:45	1 18

	lol ''Stand to attention. Form two straight lines. Move when I tell you to move.'' ''They may know the grill, Sarge, but you'll never make soldiers out of them.'' 03/11/22 12:30:52, edited: 03/11/22 12:41:33	18

more captions

last comments (total: 867)

Many thanks everyone for the kind comments. Vivvy, as I write Benny is tucking in to a can of John West tuna - his reward for being my creative mews (Get off the site - Anon).
Thanks also to Chris for providing us with this fantasy world where we can escape from our families.
Incidentally, I've recently noticed some statuettes on the site showing a sad, lonely loser called Dave holding his cat. This is not me, it's just a coincidence.

(caption author)

01/01/24
8:25am

comment on caption:
''It's no use sulking. You were the one who ate the cleaner.'' [Dave Bryan]

It's a grrrreat caption Dave, congratulations. Happy New Year folks! x

Dot Old

01/01/24
9:17am

comment on caption:
''It's no use sulking. You were the one who ate the cleaner.'' [Dave Bryan]

Terrific caption Dave. A strong contender for a 2024 Dave Dave award too!

Stephen Bean

01/01/24
10:15am

comment on caption:
''It's no use sulking. You were the one who ate the cleaner.'' [Dave Bryan]

Brilliant caption Dave. Well deserved and happy new year!

C CaMel

01/01/24
10:23am

comment on caption:
''It's no use sulking. You were the one who ate the cleaner.'' [Dave Bryan]

Many congratulations, Dave! This picture was one of my first attempts at creating something using AI. I'm so pleased to see it inspired such a brilliant caption. Well done!

And thanks, Vivvy. I'm glad you liked the picture.

Karyn Harrison

02/01/24
12:13am

comment on caption:
''It's no use sulking. You were the one who ate the cleaner.'' [Dave Bryan]

If only more folk could get their tigers to do this. Congratulations Dave!

Glyn Evans

02/01/24
9:51am

comment on caption:
''It's no use sulking. You were the one who ate the cleaner.'' [Dave Bryan]

Sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Dave. Great caption and well deserved winner.

The Wolf

02/01/24
12:21pm

comment on caption:
''It's no use sulking. You were the one who ate the cleaner.'' [Dave Bryan]

I'm about a week late, but for those who don't read the forum, Dave generously donated his winnings back to the site. Good on you Dave. Contributions take the pressure off Chris who already puts quite a bit of money, and a boatload of time, into the site. If anybody else wants to contribute, contact Chris. Any amount is appreciated. Again, nice one Dave 👍