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"Im afraid the mammogram machines broken down Mrs Brown, so Im just going to grab your tits and have a good ol squeeze."
"Im afraid the mammogram machines broken down Mrs Brown, so Im just going to grab your tits and have a good ol squeeze." photo | portfolio
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Stephen Bean Vote score: 19285Stephen Bean

£50
WINNER

"I'm afraid the mammogram machine's broken down Mrs Brown, so I'm just going to grab your tits and have a good ol' squeeze."

26/02/20 12:00:54

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I'd already decided if I won I wanted to use the money to help caption.me. I've asked Chris if he might consider putting my winnings towards a second prize of £25 for Feb, and a second prize of £25 for March, and otherwise put it towards the c... --Stephen Bean
Dave Bryan Vote score: 17207Dave Bryan

''How are you going to cure me?''

''Just Like That!''

26/02/20 12:03:06

  10
22
I had a teacher who used to set his alarm for 3am so he could get up and have a ciggy... --James Lennox
Chris Keegan Vote score: 10732Chris Keegan

"While we are specialists in cosmetic surgery, unfortunately on this occasion you need to accept that you're old and ugly".

26/02/20 12:00:11

  1
8
"Can I have a second opinion?""Sure, you're not very bright either." --Willie Johnson
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 16230Dan Nicholls

I'm sorry to say, MASSIVE MOLE.

26/02/20 12:04:36

  
6
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3773Mark Wilson

Hemorrhoids are painful but due to the NHS trying to cut waiting lists we are now able to offer Euthanasia as an alternative to cream now Mable.

26/02/20 17:39:18

  
3
Mark Wilson Vote score: 3773Mark Wilson

Good news and bad news Vera. Good news is tumour hasn't got any bigger so life expectancy is still 6 months, bad news is I was supposed to tell you that on your last appointment 5 months ago.

26/02/20 17:05:16

  
3
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 4095Scrijjy Doo

And your new name will be Doris Yeltsin.

26/02/20 12:13:50

  
3
Michael Winner Vote score: 25313Michael Winner

"Look into the eyes, not around the eyes, but directly into my eyes..."

26/02/20 12:02:22

  
3
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 12239Neil Mackenzie

Now if you were a man part A of the brain would be connected to part B and part B to part C. But since you are a woman, part A is connected to part B,C,D,E,F,G...............Z.

26/02/20 12:00:41

  
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