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āIām afraid it's Cholera.ā
07/10/11 10:35:38
About to Kermit a driving offence
04/10/11 10:00:19
Keep taking the tablets, love
24/09/11 10:00:23
Peeking duck
20/09/11 10:00:21
Samslung tv.
16/09/11 10:19:19
Broke Back Mounting.
14/09/11 10:37:39
Would Dubai a car from this man?
23/08/11 10:01:15
A moving ceremony.
19/08/11 10:00:09
£50
There are some things in life that money can't buy. For everything else, there's Benefits.
27/06/11 14:35:03
When Ed admitted to his mum that he liked posing half-naked with boys, this wasn't what she expected!
26/11/06 18:40:39
That's the last time I try stealing pickled onions in Saudi Arabia
10/10/14 19:00:06
Artilorry
06/10/14 19:17:21
Toys R U.S.
06/10/14 12:10:24
All three were finding it hard to make a connection
06/10/14 11:06:10
Strip lights
04/10/14 11:00:30
"We still haven't managed to palm Olive off with anyone."
30/09/14 19:31:20
Following the 'coming out' of Frank Maloney, Suggs is next ..... it's absolute Madness.
30/09/14 9:37:22
We have nice baps.
29/09/14 7:01:10
šµ Stool's out for summer... šµ
24/09/14 19:02:52
Lo-cal prise winners.
15/09/14 7:05:42
Turtle Recall.
14/09/14 7:00:09
"Shit, my 50p has ran out."
10/09/14 18:52:19
This wasn't what he expected when he ordered the side order of naan.
03/09/14 14:36:06
"So Mary ........... you look a little different from your profile picture."
03/09/14 11:07:18
Spike Militant.
03/09/14 8:00:40
There's Macavity.
30/08/14 8:40:23
"You're having me on, this car doesn't have an ejector seeeaaaaa......"
28/08/14 11:39:17
šµ Cisterns are doing it for themselves... šµ
27/08/14 7:34:31
Delays today were caused by Steve's on the line.
26/08/14 19:14:37
Where the streets have no drains.
21/08/14 13:42:37
Prisoner 9763 had been on the run for almost 4 years.
20/08/14 7:45:14
All hands on deck.
17/08/14 19:00:06
Each cyclist was trying to claim Jersey.
14/08/14 20:11:38
"Sadly I was left like this after a stroke."
14/08/14 11:01:06
Damn, no smoke signal!
14/08/14 7:00:09
"you can sign my tummy with one of my biros - but I'd prefer the tips to be felt"
13/08/14 11:00:05
"That's a surprise. I didn't think the house would be octopied."
12/08/14 20:17:11
Brogues gallery.
11/08/14 7:00:07
Meanwhile, the guests at Keith Floyd's dinner party were sipping a nice cold glass of sage and onion stuffing.
10/08/14 20:16:15
Tom had always wanted to be a drill instructor.
09/08/14 20:48:19
Hal has frozen over.
09/08/14 7:01:52
ExclusiveThree million vehicles recalled due to design defect in pop-out cigarette lighters
05/08/14 10:56:22
Ireland's top police sketch artist unwittingly becomes prime suspect..
04/08/14 7:41:54
"Mummy, you said it was a battery hen.""I can't find any batteries."
03/08/14 12:10:00
"No sweetheart, I really don't think that's a good place to put your dummy."
03/08/14 11:16:10
In front the car a Toy-Yoda is.
03/08/14 8:15:49
She was known for being a bit of a globetrotter.
01/08/14 19:17:46
Scary Poppins
31/07/14 8:37:03
The baboon's plan to get more food was working a treat.
28/07/14 18:12:25
Dave was demolished in order to make way for a block of flats.
27/07/14 11:04:09
Inflatable pool ......... beware of punchers
26/07/14 11:35:32
"Don't speak- I can see that right now, you are beyond words", grinned Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
25/07/14 11:00:22
Watching the world cup final had left a lasting impression on this Argentinian fan.
19/07/14 19:23:11
"Don't mind him, he's my little gardening angel"
18/07/14 7:28:29
Given the green light
16/07/14 19:00:06
After his attacker was taken to court, it was clear that she had no case.
16/07/14 7:32:55
Amazon ...... for all your deliveries
14/07/14 11:04:12
"Don't be obvious, but i've slipped it into your pocket. Take it to the racoon - don't say where you got it from".
13/07/14 20:10:17
Fashion police.
13/07/14 7:39:58
"It's always good to meet another mason.
11/07/14 19:04:33
Bathet Hound.
07/07/14 19:11:41
Looking for the tomato source.
07/07/14 7:00:22
And that is how Clarence became cross-eyed.
06/07/14 11:14:01
My-Tea Mouse.
05/07/14 11:00:07
They're making an exhibition of themselves.
05/07/14 9:19:43
The Da Vinci Road.
05/07/14 7:00:16
Janet always has great presents of mind.
03/07/14 19:21:13
"Can you smell what it is yet?"
01/07/14 19:08:29
The Cowering Inferno.
01/07/14 11:00:14
"Retire? Pah! A good Pimp never retires."
30/06/14 7:00:08
Has anyone seen Dorothy's magic shoes? because Dorothy sure as hell cant.
28/06/14 19:35:17
"Ding Dong the bitch is fed"
28/06/14 19:03:36
A pair of trunks
26/06/14 19:01:51
No wonder it's half price, it doesn't look anything like Demi Moore.
26/06/14 11:00:09
Sports kit
24/06/14 19:40:08
So you're telling me, when you close this lid, I will neither be alive nor dead?
24/06/14 19:03:50
If things got out of hand they could call in the Gherkin Regiment.
24/06/14 11:39:22
23/06/14 19:05:18
Jesus Crust.
18/06/14 11:01:09
"Come back here! I thought you said that you are a game bird."
18/06/14 7:57:20
These were full length jeans when I started cutting the grass.
17/06/14 19:53:49
Godrophenia.
16/06/14 19:00:44
In Bournemouth the Beach Inspectors last job of the day is to see who is still alive.
16/06/14 16:00:17
Dig those crazy beets.
12/06/14 12:07:00
Once again the chance to win the painting eludes Tim as he fails to land the hoop on the cross and it sits there mocking him on the head of the statue.
10/06/14 7:12:14
Whenever they went to get sausages, Punch and Judy always fought over the Bill.
08/06/14 19:52:24
Truncheon Judy.
08/06/14 19:28:35
Mass Breakout from Kellogg's factory
06/06/14 21:16:19
What China's new cannon lacked in accuracy was made up for by its near endless ammunition supply.
05/06/14 20:39:26
Jane was always the plane one.
27/05/14 19:24:03
"We ordered lintels you idiot."
27/05/14 15:13:12
Sleeping policemen don't slow traffic down so much as sleeping policewomen.
23/05/14 19:08:06
Canjunctivitis
22/05/14 19:20:30
20/05/14 19:01:03
"So Mr Pistorius. You say you thought the Nolan Sisters were trying to burgle you?"
18/05/14 22:53:25
I think he's looking for the paws button.
12/05/14 11:01:21
In the early spring many flocks of Goats fly back from their winter retreats and embark on a frantic search for secluded locations well away from Townships and high enough to deter the Wingless Suet Moth (their natural predator)Large nests are then intricately constructed and equipped with small petrol driven incubators in which they can safely store their eggs, thus leaving them totally free for other pastimes such as crocheting Tea Cosies or Sudoku.Towards the end of May many Goats have already welcomed their new hatchlings and celebrate this event by holding spectacular pyjama parties which inevitably include firework displays, talks on furniture restoration and skilful demonstrations of Rhubarb juggling...thus ensuring that the cycle of life continues.
11/05/14 21:08:37
Having just had two Bishop's Fingers, Brendan needed a drink.
09/05/14 8:02:16
Hey Dude.. good to see you.. Pull up a Stool
08/05/14 21:14:18
"Mrs Francis ...... we're going to let you back up now as there are some inspectors coming to the care home. Now remember, you have a sore throat and can't speak."
06/05/14 11:07:56
