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Helen Llamas

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creative x2

Swiss Army Wife.

20/04/14 19:24:31

Dentistree.

05/04/13 7:10:10

:o can't believe i opted against using this one :( --Ross Davidson

Stationary vehicle.

04/04/13 7:21:24

Yes, I know that. Just thought "Stationery" (as in pens and paper etc.) would have been the joke. Nevermind, as I said before I'm just being pedantic. Good caption either way. --Steve Hann

Miguel and Jose had harboured feelings for each other for some time.

24/09/17 19:01:41

Jane was always the plane one.

27/05/14 19:24:03

Stonehedge

09/02/13 13:59:24

"That's another fine head-dress you've got me into, Stanley!"

22/10/12 19:12:11

Slush puppies.

10/08/17 19:19:38

clever x2

I'm sure it was here 67 years ago.

31/10/15 14:22:55

Probably remembering when it was all forest(gate). --John Glover

Oriface.

30/09/17 7:01:56

Tommy Steel

13/08/17 12:18:36

She was known for giving good head and hand jobs.

18/05/14 20:03:27

"Your Amazon parcel has been shipped, madam."

15/11/12 8:13:22

The new Sports Class provided an excellent boot for a competitive game of table tennis.

25/09/17 19:32:58

08/04/14 13:45:54

30/10/12 16:05:12

28/10/12 20:16:47

21/10/12 19:31:28

28/09/12 21:09:09

My Blobby's colds were legendary.

29/05/14 20:27:56

Slam dump!

27/08/13 7:00:58

The Resurrection of Chris.

07/03/13 20:41:57

Sandra had a bench erected to commemorate all her ex-husbands and a bin for their bullshit.

27/09/17 19:53:25

Pete took the death of Sooty hard.

23/08/17 7:05:59

I spent the day having a S-weep. --Pete

Not sure why he looks so happy: he’s about to be shelved.

24/12/17 14:57:48

Suspended animation.

08/09/17 19:21:31

clever

Impound Land.

19/08/17 11:57:44

"The dress is here," said the Bride in case he couldn't find it.

07/08/17 22:11:11

Following a shotgun wedding....

13/12/15 21:17:00

Bedusa.

23/11/15 20:22:17

You can tell he's been touched up.

21/11/15 12:23:56

"This one's another order for the Jolie/Pitts. Quick delivery before his sell by date please. "

01/11/15 8:51:39

Downwardly mobile.

01/10/15 19:04:38

Stretch limbo.

23/05/14 19:18:00

Scissors beats stoned.

05/01/14 12:31:31

Vulvo

05/01/14 8:02:39

There's nothing like a milkshake when you're down in the dumps!

26/08/13 11:12:58

Beside the point!

24/04/13 19:31:13

Steph visits the armery. Next it's the arse-enal.

13/03/13 20:44:30

"Are you sure the Russian sprinters have stopped taking drugs?"

14/09/17 19:14:12

"We've been stitched up!"

08/09/17 19:44:25

I wonder how many cheerleaders I could shit on?

03/09/17 12:58:17

The Wicker Pan.

27/08/17 19:18:56

Henrietta was busy laying the table.

27/11/15 17:55:55

Do my feet look big in this?

21/11/15 20:03:05

Steve McQueen's new film: The Great Estate.

02/11/15 20:14:39

"Nanu nanu."

27/10/15 21:19:46

Formula Fun.

27/04/14 19:03:37

Sole mates.

16/03/14 21:04:15

"What a large organ you have, Vicar!"

28/08/13 19:09:21

A common garden pest.

21/04/13 7:13:58

"Sorry for pointing my trunk but are you Indian or African? I can never tell!"

20/04/13 19:03:36

Rackmanineough?

10/04/13 14:23:38

I-pads

09/04/13 19:04:11

"Number 3 is now making a ganache for the finish line!"

07/04/13 19:08:15

Ganache? New one on me... a point for educating me and of course making me laugh.... I suppose there will be ganashing of teeth... --Tony Busby

The tri-naughty

24/03/13 12:13:47

Table rugby was never going to catch on.....

24/03/13 8:45:28

Pink nip area.

10/03/13 13:03:26

Mark liked playing with his cousin. And his cousin's cousin. And his cousin's cousin. And his cousin's cousin.

05/03/13 22:11:17

Big Dave misunderstood the fast part of his diet.

02/03/13 12:48:23

"Who ordered the Chinese?"

24/02/13 14:39:08

David Bowie's gone too far this time.

06/02/13 20:22:22

Great video that Ashes to Ashes! --Shandonbelle

Fish, chips and smelly pees.

29/09/12 9:50:31

Cock and bull story.

29/08/12 22:35:15

Spice invader

27/08/12 13:25:44

"Why can't we fly our kites near this pylon?"

26/05/14 16:00:52

Finally the kids are branching out.

11/05/14 20:17:30

"It is a gift from the Trojans, sir!"

30/03/14 14:39:42

Escher returns to his hometown.

27/03/14 20:44:31

Everyone knows you don't keep cheese in Tupperware! Weirdo!

10/03/14 18:20:05

Luting, fiddling- orchestrated crime!

09/03/14 20:07:21

Conjoined fins.

24/08/13 11:49:54

The Black Eyed Tease

21/08/13 19:29:10

"Day 68 in the Big Brother house."

21/08/13 12:44:12

This would be a fantastic running gag to run on absolutely every picture, simply adding another day to the tally. Most times it would just look odd, but every now and again it would be genius! --Michael Winner

He'll have another 2 blue balls when he gets in the water!

16/04/13 19:36:23

Deconstruction worker.

08/04/13 7:28:49

Pendrive.

04/04/13 7:28:38

"Who filled my tyres with helium?"

01/04/13 16:07:26

"Have you had a vajazzle before?"

01/04/13 9:25:56

So that's what's meant by The Lord is our Rock....

24/03/13 12:15:12

Scooby snacks!

17/03/13 22:10:06

Hand to I- pad coordination.

10/03/13 9:07:00

Metallicar

08/03/13 17:35:52

Tot Gear!

06/03/13 8:26:33

Trash metal.

19/02/13 17:40:21

Inflammation of the bowel.

12/02/13 21:32:59

How do you spell, "Help?"

11/02/13 20:10:57

Ed Sheeran's Drunk Again....

04/02/13 20:29:35

"1across is always POLITBURO." .

03/02/13 12:38:44

"Stop phoning, Maureen! .......... Yes I've got my packed lunch. ........ No I haven't met Montgomery or the nazis yet!

31/01/13 20:15:34

Gove settles in to his new office.

31/01/13 8:35:24

Is he known to dislike children or does he just look like he doesn't like them? --F Mackay

Jack's beanstalk had been chopped down to make room for the housing estate.

08/11/12 9:22:32

Looking for prophets on eBay.

04/11/12 20:48:42

Sarah heard the photographers from Athena were around here somewhere...

01/11/12 8:28:08

7 out of 8 cats prefer Chewbacca 's Whiskers!

29/10/12 12:10:11

Shitted kitchen.

25/10/12 7:39:40

Killer heels.

10/10/12 14:46:10

Chuckle Blooders.

12/09/12 19:03:15

Hand over the antidote.... It's just not funny anymore.

08/09/12 19:51:55

Kingston Clown!

08/09/12 19:20:33

They didn’t call him Skiddy for nothing.

29/12/17 9:46:55

I hate these bloody roll-neck jumpers.

06/12/17 19:52:10

Scarborough County Council install temporary bike racks.

29/09/17 16:41:36

"What's the craic?"

15/08/17 10:27:19

Full metal packet.

12/08/17 19:06:33

'Spot the Ball', for The Bleedin' Obvious group.

16/12/15 20:40:14

That's Halloween all wrapped up.

28/11/15 12:55:38

Who knew a cat could hold so much pee?

26/11/15 20:41:35

Anyone got a pin?

22/11/15 8:06:31

A squares dance.

20/11/15 17:36:11

"Holy panel denting, Batman."

17/11/15 20:52:21

"Feed the woooorrld...let them know it's Christmas time."

16/11/15 20:18:01

Prat-walk model.

11/11/15 20:32:01

Shot pants.

10/11/15 20:18:29

An early example of Australian Bush Art.

09/11/15 20:17:12

"I insist- spit out Tinkerbell!"

08/11/15 7:16:35

Shakelton's expedition to The South Circular is about to begin.

02/11/15 21:50:24

Moping.

02/11/15 20:09:26

Desiree.

31/10/15 23:15:35

Miss Catford 2015.

30/10/15 20:10:08

"I keep telling Jack you can't climb beanstalks in heels."

28/10/15 20:08:34

Cuban cuisine.

03/10/15 11:18:59

Nick Clegg was always a number 2.

30/09/15 21:18:16

"He's not the messiah. He's a v naughty boy."

30/09/15 19:32:02

Catcher in the Rye.

26/09/15 14:45:54

"We wants it. We needs it. My precious."

15/09/17 19:32:20

The Great Geezers' Sphincters.

14/09/17 19:27:35

Not to be confused with the Collasseye at Menmon --Mr Dome

The 'Live on Facebook' Operation game wasn't quite what he'd expected.

29/08/17 20:34:33

"WOT! No words?" Mr Chad remarked.

17/08/17 7:04:00

Police steak-out.

15/08/17 19:12:32

Finger-bods.

29/11/15 20:04:10

"I've never fancied visiting Alsatian Island.."

26/11/15 20:44:55

The Ironman challenge.,

24/11/15 20:51:31

Wanted: life guards for St Mark's baptism spa.

20/11/15 17:32:34

It's house 1066 and William the Concreter battles on.

19/11/15 19:53:05

Terriorising the sheep.

18/11/15 20:30:50

Hammy's weak bladder=constant tinkling on the ivories.

16/11/15 20:16:09

What a cheeky little urchin.

07/11/15 15:15:05

Cattle rearing.

06/11/15 20:11:15

Great. Woodstock has just shat on my head.

03/11/15 13:06:32

Yet again, women showing they have the anatomy to multi- task.

01/11/15 20:20:30

Just what Edison imagined...

01/11/15 20:11:30

Tube drivers reported the first ever case of zooicide.

31/10/15 14:00:40

Pride Raleigh.

30/10/15 8:05:47

"This is called The Grape Vine. "

17/10/15 5:20:17

Gilbert was totally deflated.

11/10/15 7:50:08

Disney reveal the true inspiration for Frozen's Let It Go.

04/10/15 19:19:26

"Ooh. The firm hand of the law."

30/09/15 19:27:10

"I was swinging low, officer."

30/09/15 19:25:47

Too much passing The Dutchie from the left-hand side!

08/06/14 7:22:46

Amelia Earhart found!

27/05/14 19:19:46

HRT seems to be working...

28/04/14 17:23:07

Haha! --Michael Winner

Clawdia.

26/04/14 9:46:50

You are witnessing the birth of the shuttlecock!

24/04/14 20:21:44

Pants are a man's referee: there for the dribbling and tackle but get in the way when scoring!

21/04/14 12:20:47

But where were Octupussy's other two hands? Hum....

20/04/14 19:07:15

Multi-chef prototype.

20/04/14 19:04:47

Yes, but is it half empty or half full?

19/04/14 9:36:14

Exercising core muscles.

07/04/14 7:04:20

This way to Hadrian's Collider.

30/03/14 7:51:59

"We're jamming, we're jamming, we're jamming, we're jamming!" he Wailed.

02/03/14 20:31:57

Bi-polaroid.

02/03/14 13:17:15

His was a raw deal.

01/03/14 17:47:26

Facebook relationship status: single.

23/02/14 8:08:31

Flagellation of Chris.

28/01/14 21:01:54

"Hmmmmm, I'd say the cylinder head needs replacing."

30/08/13 7:30:42

"Let go of my willy and THEN you can have your beer back."

26/08/13 7:28:55

England's cricketers demonstrating their celebration ritual.

26/08/13 7:27:04

"There's sure to be a Calamity, Jane!"

19/08/13 19:32:36

Poor Julie was all of a quiver after being targeted by an old beau.

28/04/13 19:08:23

"God, have I been in this bar that long?"

27/04/13 14:30:28

"Musthang, Sally!"

17/04/13 19:03:58

Anthony Gormless statues.

13/04/13 12:19:42

Palmystery.

09/04/13 7:17:16

Britney Spears' entourage take precautions as she is still Toxic.

08/04/13 19:05:59

"Watch out for number 2 who lost her cherry earlier!"

07/04/13 19:06:43

Wild Bill was the black sheet of the family.

07/04/13 7:10:07

Anubis: jackal headed dog of the undergarment.

06/04/13 13:26:02

Tinnitustown.

02/04/13 13:36:17

Happy holudays, Candy and Kane.

24/03/13 21:02:27

Jim Bowen fan, Paddy, hopes to get it innnnnnnnnnn 1!

24/03/13 20:10:28

Poor Derek had always wanted to be in the Plain White Ts.

24/03/13 20:03:59

"I think I've put on the tighthead shorts by mistake....."

24/03/13 8:42:19

"Look mate, you're loose, I'm tight and he's a hooker. Act your part!"

24/03/13 8:38:41

Puuurrrrrrge...

19/03/13 20:20:34

Why do boys always go for the tits?

13/03/13 20:17:41

How do you know she's a tit? --Michael Winner

Rainforest can-he-pee!

28/02/13 22:15:27

Breeeeeeemmmm, breeeeeeeem.......

24/02/13 20:24:41

Carnivore.

24/02/13 8:31:31

"This initiative to smuggle immigrants back over the border has legs!"

07/02/13 21:56:00

"Yes sir, I'm on my way to Timbuktu!"

31/01/13 20:03:34

Nadine's Extreme Ironing had got a little competitive. ..

19/11/12 20:05:30

These sleeping policeman are a bit humpy!

17/11/12 14:16:05

Cut thrice airlines.

14/11/12 20:08:40

The gnomes fight back.

11/11/12 8:15:32

George hoped there was a cock of gold at the end of the rainbow.

03/11/12 15:18:46

Batman and she's Throbbin'.

04/10/12 19:33:44

Calamity Shane.

30/09/12 7:26:10

Remote control thumbs.

18/09/12 17:01:09

Airfix designer finally jailed for drug offences.

16/09/12 9:10:25

more captions

last comments (total: 41)

Didn't know which beau but happy to do anything for a vote !

(caption author)

28/04/13
7:33pm

comment on caption:
Poor Julie was all of a quiver after being targeted by an old beau. [Helen Llamas]

This would be a fantastic running gag to run on absolutely every picture, simply adding another day to the tally. Most times it would just look odd, but every now and again it would be genius!

Michael Winner