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Tony Edwards Vote score: 27763Tony Edwards

"It's the worst case of heartburn that the Gaviscon fire brigade have had to deal with."

01/07/14 11:09:52

 
Cath Jones Vote score: 33437Cath Jones

The Cowering Inferno.

01/07/14 11:00:14

 
Chris Halliwell Vote score: 4536Chris Halliwell

Crouching Firefighter, Hidden Dragon?

01/07/14 12:13:30

 
Tracy Davidson Vote score: 9777Tracy Davidson

“Would you tell Her Majesty that if she’s got any more Rolf Harris pictures to burn, please don’t use petrol again.”

01/07/14 11:00:26

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5407Tosser Wivlov

Every bloody year, same old chestnuts.

01/07/14 15:14:33

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5407Tosser Wivlov

Albert! There's some people come to look at our new underfloor heating.

01/07/14 11:19:31

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 27763Tony Edwards

"Come home to real fire - buy a holiday cottage in Wales."

01/07/14 11:23:47

 
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 3571Lucky Elperro

That bloody Russell Brand had been masturbating again.

01/07/14 11:28:03

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18004John Glover

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

01/07/14 11:19:01

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 5407Tosser Wivlov

Fire in the hole!

01/07/14 11:15:29

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 539Karen Oakenfull

Ken had to hold the crew back from putting out the last of the warehouse blaze. Not because of an explosion risk, but because he'd chucked on a few spuds earlier and they needed another 5 minutes.

02/07/14 3:38:08

 
Steve Davies Vote score: 2440Steve Davies

In the line of fire.

01/07/14 18:32:25

 
Boycie Vote score: 6579Boycie

I used to have a fetish for arsonists, even had relationships with a few, but all ended badly. As soon as my house caught fire, I just knew it had to be an old flame.

01/07/14 13:48:58

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 8722Neil Mackenzie

When Eamonn Holmes's Chip Pan catches fire with 200 weight of chips, it's not a good morning.

01/07/14 12:00:03

 
Mark England Vote score: 14099Mark England

"Cross my hearth and hope not to die" smirked the pyromaniac

01/07/14 11:14:34

 
John  Glover Vote score: 18004John Glover

"That will be eight slices of toast and George said could you hang on, Mel' thinks there's still a packet of Muffins back on the engine.

01/07/14 11:08:02

 
Tracy Davidson Vote score: 9777Tracy Davidson

“Wow! Their sex really was on fire!”

01/07/14 11:00:07

 
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