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| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 50 | 4 | 14 | #4 | 31 | 50 | #6 | 9937 | 19140 | #13 |
| Photos | ||||||||||
| Comments | 11 | 3 | 4 | #6 | 297 | 323 | #27 | |||
| Forum Posts | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| Suggested Edits | 2 | 1 | 2 | |||||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 4 | #15 | 40 | #9 | 5564 | #41 |
| Photos | 2 | #11 | 625 | #31 | ||
| Comments | 3 | #7 | 144 | #40 | ||
| Forum Posts | ||||||
| Suggested Edits | 1 | #13 | ||||
captions
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08/10/18 8:08:02 |
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Noah: "Sorry guys, I've zebras and lions on board, I'll improvise." --Pete
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No, I said create a sculpture which depicts OUR SOUL. 03/01/24 12:07:17 |
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My favourite this week! 😂 --Julia Kinsey
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22/09/15 20:06:38 |
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Don't move, you're turtally surrounded 18/01/24 12:03:48 |
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"Hello is that customer complaints? I need to return some goods...well, I ordered a leotard". 06/08/15 8:01:16 |
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From Amazon I presume. :-D --Chris Halliwell
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13/12/22 12:01:13 |
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06/06/18 8:09:42 |
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Can't come out tonight I'm washing my hare. 26/07/15 8:00:23 |
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He really hasn't been the same since we took away his accordion. 28/10/21 8:38:54 |
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04/09/21 12:01:48 |
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Love this caption. Brutally simple, but it still tells a story. Brilliant. --James Lennox
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16/07/19 12:04:15 |
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08/12/18 8:59:38 |
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24/09/20 21:51:37 |
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Dave had been isolating from his parents for 3 months. Now he is off home with all his washing... 01/06/20 12:14:32 |
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Gillette, the best a ma'am can get. 04/05/19 22:07:05 |
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Today's stars: Capricorn will be faced with an uphill struggle. 17/01/17 8:08:09 |
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Please let me give you a (be) xxx --Andrea Hickling
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That's the thing about the festive season, it does dragon a bit. 14/01/17 20:03:37 |
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19/02/16 8:00:07 |
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Meanwhile, Ironman is inside getting rid of creases in the curtains. 25/09/15 8:39:03 |
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Should've taken them to Ron Maidens --Mr Dome
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10/04/24 20:00:41 |
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21/12/23 8:20:50 |
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I see Aldi are doing spa days now 13/12/22 20:04:19, edited: 13/12/22 20:04:31 |
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13/09/21 12:35:15 |
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Don't worry Don, we'll Photoshop the PlayStation controller out. 02/11/19 14:04:28 |
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30/01/19 12:02:09 |
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For God's sake Dad, just light the barbecue. 28/01/19 8:13:49 |
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06/08/18 14:04:19 |
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As protest tshirts go, one asking for the abolition of the French word for 'No' is pretty random. 30/08/17 12:01:09 |
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"Oui did it!" --Greg Curtis
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26/01/16 8:00:54 |
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Neighbourhood watch crew catches lead thieves red handed. 04/08/15 12:00:05 |
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Canon Law --Leroy Brown
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25/04/24 20:09:21 |
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Great caption, Dan. For me, this is exactly what a caption should be. Something that makes you think of a situation, and laugh at it. Damn shame it didn't make the monthly shortlist. --James Lennox
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The cost of living crisis claims more victims today, trying to shake coins out of the sofa. 28/12/22 8:21:56 |
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19/12/22 12:33:07 |
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"Hello, is that the vet? Yes, it's my cat. He's eaten an umbrella." 22/06/22 9:33:23 |
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"Don't forget to tape Bugs Bunny for me". 31/05/22 12:06:31 |
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When I said….”shall we get a rabbit to spice things up”….. --Andy Bunting
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After losing the first 8 of his lives, Graham was particularly annoyed with the 9th. 18/04/22 12:04:05 |
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My name is Dave and I'm a talcaholic. 22/02/22 20:05:22 |
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Just seen this great caption but I think 'talcoholic' would be even better. --Dot Old
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Leaked photos of Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch on honeymoon. 30/10/19 20:00:36 |
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14/04/19 8:17:42 |
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Kicked you out for snoring too has she? 26/11/18 12:35:21 |
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07/11/18 20:42:22 |
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04/11/18 8:06:41 |
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Casper the overfriendly ghost. 15/08/18 9:26:51 |
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The crafty tortoise had outfoxed the hare again. 14/06/18 12:15:54 |
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03/02/17 8:01:14 |
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Thanks all, I love this site and our little community - often cheers me up on a dull day. I bore my wife to tears with it, but it keeps me off the streets... --Dan Nicholls
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26/06/15 12:06:01 |
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It was at this point the doctor realised he had been on shift about 23 hours too long. 05/05/24 20:11:01 |
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That explains why there's always so many bikes in the canal. 25/03/22 10:53:23 |
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"Yes sir, aisle three by the squid rings". 15/07/21 12:23:12 |
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That 'No More Tears' shampoo is rubbish. 27/03/20 12:04:42 |
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23/07/18 8:59:32 |
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"I f*cking well WILL have a tiger", thought little Timmy. 25/05/16 9:06:32 |
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Thanks! If I had any supervotes, you'd get all of them :)(edit: Woo woo, I got a supervote!) --Michael Winner
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29/02/16 12:01:02 |
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20/02/16 8:39:08 |
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17/01/16 21:14:44 |
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So how do I get in? Nocturnal admission? --[anon]
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20/01/24 20:03:33 |
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His Ma disnae think he'll get a girlfriend any time soon. 02/01/24 12:01:31 |
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Reminds me, I need to put the pigs in blankets in the oven. 18/12/23 12:03:08 |
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Rolling Stones deny being fossils 14/01/23 8:00:12 |
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Christ! Has anyone carried out a whisk assessment? 17/05/22 12:06:35 |
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The bike test is really harsh in India. 8 examiners accompany you on the day. 02/02/22 12:08:25 |
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Billy Elliott: The Midlife Crisis 27/11/21 8:05:35 |
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After you hit 60, it's difficult to guide it in. 10/06/20 12:00:33 |
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Speak for yourself I'm 66 & still hit bullseye every time. --Morgan .
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A great place to take the family out. 07/05/20 20:00:11 |
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24/07/19 8:22:32 |
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21/05/19 9:25:57 |
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Cheap, good head and goes down easy. 03/12/18 9:36:29 |
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17/09/18 20:00:18 |
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There, that will teach you. Now don't put it in the pencil sharpener again. 03/07/18 21:23:25 |
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I think he got the point. --John Glover
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11/02/18 21:58:17 |
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Mmmmm, nothing better than nice, crisp sheets. 01/03/16 8:06:17 |
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10/02/16 9:44:52 |
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02/10/15 8:00:04 |
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BRILLIANT --Bad Boy Dennis.
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Graffiti - wrong on so many levels. 16/09/15 12:04:14 |
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10/09/15 8:02:43 |
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04/08/15 8:00:07 |
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Great minds think alike. You beat me to it! --Greg Curtis
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23/06/15 8:02:24 |
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Thanks babe, will ping u later. Mon 12:05:07, edited: Mon 12:05:55 |
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"Ooh a four leaf clover, about time we had a bit of luck". 19/01/24 20:11:18 |
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Fine, I'll fetch my own damn stick... 12/07/23 12:09:23 |
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06/12/22 20:03:10 |
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I said to leave it 10 minutes. 03/05/22 12:11:51 |
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I think it's dun. --Willie Johnson
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13/12/21 8:51:05 |
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"A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed." - Basil Fawlty --James Lennox
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Kevin, please for the love of God change your trousers. 21/07/21 12:04:01 |
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"No ma'am, you hang the medal round the neck". 22/05/21 8:04:04 |
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07/01/21 14:49:38 |
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Hoe-ly mole-y! --Willie Johnson
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Good morning welcome to McDonald's, have you been waiting long? 16/07/20 8:33:19 |
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Scooby Doo and the mysterious disappearing Scooby Snacks. 28/01/20 12:03:48 |
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The dress caused quite a stir. 08/01/20 8:07:16 |
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Proving once again that The Sun is truly gutter press. 31/12/19 8:48:58 |
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04/10/19 12:02:31 |
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Trump appeals for floating voters 03/10/19 20:03:09 |
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11/02/19 8:14:17 |
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14/01/19 8:02:59 |
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06/12/18 12:26:21 |
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"...then you just look through the view finder...am I boring you Mary?" 15/11/18 8:12:45 |
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"Just how many milkshakes do I gotta drink before I bring boys to the yard?" 19/09/18 20:50:55 |
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23/08/18 20:06:34 |
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26/07/18 8:03:27 |
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Tonight on Dyslexic News, The Beast from the Seat. 03/03/18 8:01:05 |
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email us
If you change 'with all his gusto' to 'with all his brio', the rhyme scheme's complete.
8:18am
comment on caption:
There once was a crazy baboon,
Who was known as a bit of a loon,
He crept up on Leo,
And with all his brio,
He buggered him with a bassoon. [Dan Nicholls]
Thank you
9:37am
comment on caption:
There once was a crazy baboon,
Who was known as a bit of a loon,
He crept up on Leo,
And with all his brio,
He buggered him with a bassoon. [Dan Nicholls]
Yep, get a chicken.
1:58am
comment on caption:
Is there an easier way to make a chicken shadow on the wall? [Dan Nicholls]
You've misspelled 'fink'. 😉
12:22pm
comment on caption:
Next on Jeremy Kyle, I Think My Missus Done It Wiv A Alien. [Dan Nicholls]
Yore so right.
9:34pm
comment on caption:
Show him you're cross.
This children, is a perfect example of being careful with your and you're. [Dan Nicholls]
This, children, is a perfect example of being careful with commas
10:50pm
comment on caption:
Show him you're cross.
This children, is a perfect example of being careful with your and you're. [Dan Nicholls]
Touché
5:44am
comment on caption:
Show him you're cross.
This children, is a perfect example of being careful with your and you're. [Dan Nicholls]
I think it's dun.
8:49pm
comment on caption:
I said to leave it 10 minutes. [Dan Nicholls]
Has the LP (Long Play) version come out yet?
8:11pm
comment on caption:
It's the 7 inch version. [Dan Nicholls]
And does it have a hole in the middle?
8:13pm
comment on caption:
It's the 7 inch version. [Dan Nicholls]