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Concentration camp
11/01/26 8:32:05
“Let’s see what the self driving cars make of that “
10/01/26 12:07:23
''I prefer the Big Apple, mummy.''
09/01/26 8:05:25
There is a special hell for naughty children.
09/01/26 8:00:30
“Bloody hell Dave, just buy a carrier bag like everyone else.”
04/01/26 8:10:57
Zebra Dossing
01/01/26 12:00:48
“Drive Caerphilly Son.”
01/01/26 8:13:22
"What possessed you to draw that?"
20/12/25 12:03:40
Titzu
19/12/25 20:10:13
Dunky-Wunky
17/12/25 9:58:16
Octopussy
15/12/25 12:03:49
Just be careful with the Mexican wave.
08/12/25 12:03:11
War and fleece
02/12/25 12:27:56
Ground-breaking art
23/11/25 12:12:55
"My dad and his mates had just come back from a summer holiday in Scotland"
21/11/25 8:07:20
"Did you fall for the free cosmetics offer too?"
16/11/25 12:13:06, edited: 16/11/25 12:25:09
"Can you make one of my sons and one of my grandsons disappear Professor McGonagall?"
10/11/25 12:05:27
His case is about to be put in front of The Clown Prosecution Service.
05/11/25 20:01:00
Gorge Bush
27/10/25 20:03:56
"I wish you'd stop grabbing pussies."
25/10/25 19:02:46
"And now one licking your arses."
24/10/25 7:13:41
''Say freeze!''
21/10/25 14:16:36
"So, just to confirm, for the breasts you'd like our basketball special, and for the lips you're going with traditional baboon's arse?"
19/10/25 7:10:16
"I'd have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those pescetarian kids."
17/10/25 7:12:44
There’s a hare in my food
15/10/25 7:02:45
These aren’t just Teddy Bears, these are S&M Teddy Bears.
14/10/25 11:07:42
Peed dating
11/10/25 11:14:28
Nail garnish
09/10/25 19:09:27
5 minutes earlier..."Do you think Rex has forgiven me for taking him to the vet's last week?"
07/10/25 11:03:23
🎵 Always on my mind 🎵
07/10/25 7:02:10
You could always tell when the lonely goatherd was about
06/10/25 19:11:07
As featured in Dave's new book, 'The Kama Suitra'.
06/10/25 7:45:46
How could I have pulled a hamstring .. I’m 100%chicken
24/09/25 11:02:42
Purratrooper
20/09/25 7:03:27
Poulet proof vest
18/09/25 7:38:13, edited: 18/09/25 7:38:27
"I do have a lot of vibrators," admitted Tina.
16/09/25 11:23:10
Charles attempt to be the first royal to dress himself.
12/09/25 19:08:20, suggested edits
Absolute rubbish - I wouldn't spend a penny on it
12/09/25 7:07:32
"Why will nobody believe I'm an African billionaire prince who needs a bank account to lodge money?"
11/09/25 11:02:01
You have to look at the bigger pitcher.
10/09/25 19:09:56
''Is the new car fast enough, Sergeant?''''Yes, the fish and chips were still warm when we got back to the station.''
31/08/25 11:38:20
Why the thong face?
29/08/25 19:15:48
Doggy Longlegs
22/08/25 7:07:42
Movied to tears
20/08/25 7:04:27
Slippery When Wed
19/08/25 19:05:24
"Crap," said the Invisible Man.
18/08/25 11:01:13
That's a no-no.
16/08/25 11:01:56
“I’m having a sea-section.”
15/08/25 7:02:04
🎵 All you need is glove 🎵
14/08/25 19:02:30
Light fingered
10/08/25 7:01:45
Wildlife photographers really are so patient
03/08/25 11:01:04
Close the door i can't sleep with the light on .
24/07/25 7:16:25
"Dave, I can't reach the gutters, can you fetch the giraffe?"
21/07/25 19:16:58
Taking the Plunge
17/07/25 19:05:24
With coal prices what they are, it's cheaper to burn the poor.
13/07/25 19:03:41
''Will the fries be long?''''Yes.''
10/07/25 19:02:20
"These roads are full of Pet-Holes."
06/07/25 7:03:36
Sadly, Rex remained speechless as the cat got his tongue.
05/07/25 19:02:17
Del Monte Python
04/07/25 19:16:46
The Fab Fur
04/07/25 7:06:35
"Ok, that was my Elvis impersonation. Next up, Elton."
01/07/25 11:07:33, edited: 01/07/25 11:09:55
Pride and groom
28/06/25 19:01:01
Tea Rex
27/06/25 19:00:25
World's laziest serial killer arrested after police discover where he hid the bodies.
21/06/25 19:08:57
Locker up your daughters
21/06/25 19:00:31
"This new hobby is most gratifying as it allows me to express intense creativity and profound metaphysical thoughts through an aesthectically pleasing artistic medium ... I do miss my old hobby of humping the furniture though."
21/06/25 11:34:23, edited: 21/06/25 11:50:36
Seafood Diety
17/06/25 7:10:17
Driving Miss Daisy the trailer
14/06/25 11:00:28, edited: 14/06/25 11:01:34
"Well you had em last, where are the feather straigteners?"
13/06/25 11:07:35
Looks exhausted
13/06/25 7:01:26
"A healthy gut is down to good bowl movements," said Dave.
09/06/25 19:16:41
“Waiter, this one’s too runny.”
09/06/25 11:06:36
The Silence of the Hams
08/06/25 19:09:49
Blanksy
08/06/25 7:03:15
"Well, that was the worst seat mix-up ever!" exclaimed Dave, as they removed his cage from the cargo hold.
06/06/25 7:04:29, edited: 06/06/25 7:06:46
"Frankly, I'm having a hard time believing you were being chased by a polar bear."
30/05/25 7:11:55
Lardy and the Trump
29/05/25 19:01:18
The English Channel
28/05/25 19:02:51
“So what do you do?”“I monitor fish”“Oh, so a marine biologist?”“No, I monitor fish. I put fish into monitors”
28/05/25 19:02:04
“They throw up so fast…”
28/05/25 11:02:33
Work like an Egyptian
21/05/25 19:01:02
"I'm just practicing my scales."
17/05/25 19:14:51
🎵 He ain't hairy, he's my brother 🎵
17/05/25 11:06:54
Don't see that everyday. Very rare.
16/05/25 19:04:27
…I’m gate-crashing this A-ha video
15/05/25 7:23:48
"Well, that's another Christmas done, off to the pub."
14/05/25 19:01:56
Janet of the Apes
11/05/25 7:00:34
Alright the dog's died. There's no need to sugar coat it.
09/05/25 11:05:06
"It's down to that group 'Just Stop Oil'. Apparently there's now another one on the scene. 'Just Stop Watercolours."
07/05/25 11:32:33
Terry's All Gold
26/04/25 11:17:08
It's the Veal Thing.
22/04/25 19:09:41
"Jeez, if this is the size of the fly I'm not looking forward to swallowing the dog."
20/04/25 19:09:24
Her parents didn't razor very well
19/04/25 7:02:15
Bone Jovi
18/04/25 11:03:37
Saturday Night Femur
18/04/25 11:02:08
I'm so hungry I could eat a Norse.
14/04/25 7:10:53
🎵 Who let the cats bout? 🎵
12/04/25 8:00:32
£6000. Gently Used. 12,000,000,000,000 km.
10/04/25 19:03:34
He's got big shoes to chill.
06/04/25 19:02:32
Now I’ve seen ivorything
05/04/25 11:16:11
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