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As hard as he tried Dave just couldnt cover up the fact that he was drunk as he went through customs.
As hard as he tried Dave just couldnt cover up the fact that he was drunk as he went through customs. photo | portfolio
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Paul Reeve Vote score: 5789Paul Reeve

As hard as he tried Dave just couldn't cover up the fact that he was drunk as he went through customs.

13/08/17 9:43:53

 2
Just the chuckle I needed this morning - thanks! --Pussy Galore
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 11086Neil Mackenzie

Barry had been sentenced to six months in Prism.

13/08/17 9:49:23

 
Tracey Sarge Vote score: 2565Tracey Sarge

Due to the NHS crisis..DIY scanners have been installed.

13/08/17 18:14:16

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 10295Mr Dome

Well it's leaking from somewhere - have you found the crack yet?

13/08/17 10:00:15

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

Mike didn't want to see the boss so he just duct out of sight for a while.

13/08/17 15:53:07

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2800Jonathan Allsopp

I'm not really a fan of modern arse.

13/08/17 9:52:05

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

This is why you should never employ M.C. Escher to do your floorboards.

13/08/17 9:07:26

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20958John Glover

Determined to make his own coffin, Melvyn forgot he'd measured in inches but made it in centimeters.

13/08/17 12:59:16

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6521Vivvy En

A cheeky nod to Cubism

13/08/17 10:18:49

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13299Vanessa the Guesser

Bob's agoraphobia was getting worse.

13/08/17 8:29:51

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32675Tony Edwards

Magician's arseistant

13/08/17 8:22:40

 
larry G. Vote score: 1471larry G.

Salvador Dali's soft ass rendering.

13/08/17 22:18:41

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 7065Pussy Galore

"We'll never get this job finished. The cat sneaked in there three days ago and won't even come out for a can of tuna!"

13/08/17 10:47:27

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

"There's your problem right there, love- your relative dimensional stabiliser's gone, and someone's reversed the polarity of your time rotor."

13/08/17 9:59:13

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6121C CaMel

Ventilation shafted

13/08/17 9:50:12

 
Mark England Vote score: 17420Mark England

"Ermm..very nice, but are you sure it's an original Damien Hirst?"

13/08/17 9:32:08

 
John Llamas Vote score: 20016John Llamas

" No, no, Mr Hernandez, when I said come over and see me and you can vent your spleen ........"

13/08/17 9:30:49

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 23490Michael Winner

"Dave, have you been messing about with the fourth dimension again?"

13/08/17 9:04:10

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6121C CaMel

A new perspextive

13/08/17 8:45:57

 
C CaMel Vote score: 6121C CaMel

Tubular Bellend

13/08/17 8:44:00

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 4111Crunchy Chords

The witness only saw the thief entering a ventilation duct, so the police sketch artist just did the best she could.

13/08/17 8:05:46

 
Helen Llamas Vote score: 933Helen Llamas

Maureen was always drawn to the bum deals.

13/08/17 8:01:07

 
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