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| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||||||
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| Quota | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | Added | Score | Rank | |
| Captions | 83 | 6 | 25 | #18 | 14 | 38 | #14 | 7957 | 22139 | #8 |
| Photos | ||||||||||
| Comments | 18 | 1 | 2 | #4 | 336 | 349 | #24 | |||
| Forum Posts | 1 | 4 | ||||||||
| Suggested Edits | 3 | 3 | #10 | |||||||
| This Week | Last Week | All Time | ||||
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| Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | Voted | Rank | |
| Captions | 22 | #19 | 13 | #25 | 13994 | #15 |
| Photos | 326 | #43 | ||||
| Comments | 208 | #33 | ||||
| Forum Posts | ||||||
| Suggested Edits | 1 | #13 | ||||
captions
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30/09/23 8:06:34 |
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12/03/14 12:37:33 |
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30/07/13 12:21:55 |
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July's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach
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27/04/20 12:12:35 |
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03/04/20 8:09:53 |
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02/05/19 8:16:05 |
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21/10/16 12:54:20 |
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18/09/12 20:10:56 |
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"Flippin' hell, Edmund, Who cares if it's creased? Just stick the flag in the bloody summit" 24/06/19 20:30:04 |
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Never try to leave a barbers without paying 01/07/21 12:19:39 |
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Great caption Mark but I think Al Overy deserved a nod for being first to come up with the barber idea which hadn't occurred to me. --Stephen Bean
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01/10/18 20:04:56 |
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I'm absolutely thrilled. Thanks to everyone for the votes and kind comments --Mark England
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In his younger days, Don King had a fetish for licking squirrels arses 23/01/17 20:16:38 |
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It's based on Don King's unique hairstyle --Mark England
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27/08/13 20:01:41 |
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"The journey was so slow. It kept stopping at every lamp-post" 01/03/24 12:03:31 |
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15/01/24 12:28:36 |
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The flight is £4.99, but the extra weight over the standard limit will be another £4990. --Molly R
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The Scottish version of Knight Rider had a car called KILT. 06/11/23 8:12:43 |
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Curious to see what's under the bonnet --Boycie
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30/09/21 20:52:45 |
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Pmsl --Karen Oakenfull
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Traffic news: The B345 has virtually come to a standstill due to Fogg 08/09/21 12:15:15 |
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Around the M25 in 80 days. Sounds about right. --Dan Nicholls
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22/10/18 20:44:22 |
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It's situated in a close knit community 15/02/17 20:06:24 |
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24/11/23 8:09:50 |
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"I swear if I catch you swinging past my daughter's bedroom again I'll...." 30/09/23 12:02:06, edited: 02/10/23 12:45:50, |
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"John and Paul. The tune's great but could we tweak the lyrics?" 13/09/23 20:03:13 |
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No one is talking about the elephant in the room 30/05/22 8:44:43 |
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18/05/21 12:17:50 |
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Do sailors say clean things when they get Tourette's? --Willie Johnson
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Due to a bagpipe shortage, Luton's 'Scottish Exile Pipe Band' had to improvise 22/05/20 12:12:57 |
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But it was a bit of a Wee Crankie idea. --Woofer 6
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"Good afternoon. Today, we are in Delhi, for the semi finals of the Extreme Jenga Championship.." 30/06/19 12:05:59 |
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"All I did was order a pint of cider" 02/04/16 20:05:57 |
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06/05/23 8:00:54 |
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"Well done Dave. Now that's much better than your previous 'Grab the Cock' sign. 17/02/23 8:05:41 |
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"Gotcha. Caught red-handed. Have you anything to say?" 28/06/21 12:39:48 |
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The relationship ended when Gladys pulled a Mussel 13/04/21 20:45:32 |
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"Come on you two. Smoke break is over. Those chimneys ain't gonna clean themselves" 08/07/20 8:25:57 |
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05/05/20 20:11:08 |
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Rice wine made with fox? Those Japanese will eat anything! 22/03/18 12:09:42 |
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"My nose is running" 24/11/13 20:20:38 |
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lmfao...bravo. --Ross Davidson
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19/09/12 8:01:41 |
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06/09/12 12:10:26 |
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Dave Laboured away putting up his Christmas decorations, while Tracy was a bit more Conservative 07/01/24 12:09:11 |
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Thinks "These humans must be vicious, they're all muzzled" 18/10/23 20:05:54 |
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"Get a grip Dave, it's just a fucking Squirrel" 26/08/23 12:09:32 |
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Feel free to experiment on any of my captions, Dave --Vivvy En
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"Next on Animal Life Swap, we'll see how the Hippos are managing in their bedsit in Swansea" 07/09/21 8:14:09 |
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27/02/21 20:39:51 |
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Great thinking on this one. Love it --The Wolf
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It was at that moment that the magician wished he had used a rabbit 07/07/20 8:03:05 |
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"Hello, I'm Dr Ball. How many mushrooms have you swallowed?" 30/04/20 8:27:16 |
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Some Paralympic events simply do not work 09/04/20 8:35:58 |
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I hate myself, but I can't stop laughing at this. --James Lennox
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"I got rid of that frog in my throat, but I'm still a little hoarse" 16/08/19 12:04:54 |
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"I found it in the road. It's a 'Truck-killed flattypuss'" 19/09/18 8:53:27 |
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07/02/17 12:13:01 |
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"I want peanuts, a size 48 tutu and some sticky buns....or I drop the boy" 10/05/15 12:16:55 |
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in your opinion. --Lucky Elperro
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"I see Spiderman was pissed again last night" 05/04/15 12:00:58 |
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"Good man, you got the razor blade. Now let's see how cute the meerkat looks without ears" 11/07/14 21:00:38 |
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Is it just me, or this the best round of captions in ages? I love this. --Michael Winner
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05/07/14 12:19:27 |
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24/03/14 20:16:35 |
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George was hoping to make the Olympus diving team 26/01/14 10:37:47 |
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05/10/12 12:08:49 |
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"Steak and Kidney £2, Mince Beef £1.50 and Cheese and Ham £1" 29/08/12 12:52:52 |
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25/04/14 12:07:08 |
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Ok. No need to Ramadan our throats 31/08/12 12:14:25 |
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28/08/12 12:44:28 |
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18/10/23 20:02:35 |
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18/10/23 12:09:48 |
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05/01/23 8:23:00 |
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13/09/21 8:05:29 |
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It's a clown so that's a given. --Barrie Bullock
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07/07/21 12:22:43 |
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21/08/20 12:09:41 |
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Mary had a little lamb 17/08/20 8:54:46 |
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Shocking --John Glover
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"It's sore?. Well I told you to stick to the italian, but no, you had to go and eat the Indian" 19/08/19 9:37:25 |
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"You spoil that bloody hamster" 30/03/19 8:06:50 |
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28/08/18 12:07:39 |
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Are you constipated? Is your toilet full of overgrown flowers? Then you could do with a prune. 07/02/15 20:29:27 |
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Talk about flogging a dead horse 17/04/24 12:01:41 |
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25/02/24 20:03:31 |
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25/07/23 20:29:09 |
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That black masking tape is gonna hurt when they pull it off. 26/06/23 12:03:32 |
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You think that's big? Look at the size of the Brussel Sprouts behind her 18/02/23 12:09:40 |
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I've always thought that alien abductions would be more high-tech 11/07/22 12:07:35 |
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"Sir, do you mind running through it again?" 22/06/21 12:05:16 |
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"Do you mind running through the halls naked and screaming? Yes you do mind? Then do you mind if I do it after a question like that?" --Willie Johnson
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28/05/21 12:17:19 |
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The lower sign is for constipated bats 08/04/21 8:08:47 |
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Abandoned as a pup, Fido was raised by a family of beavers 20/01/21 8:26:26 |
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"The cat walked straight past. The disguise worked" 01/12/20 11:28:19 |
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23/03/20 20:02:36 |
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13/03/20 20:08:04 |
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"So how will I recognise you?" 24/11/19 21:01:22 |
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"Well, I told you not to pull its tail" 16/11/17 20:27:03 |
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Anon. As it’s panto season you missed ‘Ooooh’ from the start of your comment --Mr Dome
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03/10/17 20:00:51 |
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...specializing in REALLY HEAVY construction. --Greg Curtis
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27/08/17 20:08:24 |
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01/04/15 21:51:15 |
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must be me but its a bit sick! --Bad Boy Dennis.
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25/09/14 12:05:16 |
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15/05/14 20:24:32 |
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08/03/14 20:08:26 |
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The moody blue background is perfect. --Pete
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Since the rabbit incident, King Midas was banned from keeping pets 15/01/14 8:39:19 |
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The owner has earned a fortune from this bar. Now he'd rather be called Filthy Rich. 23/10/13 12:05:47 |
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Bless. Dalek babies are so cute. 25/01/13 9:19:38 |
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29/03/24 12:06:32 |
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"He said he wants a penguin" 24/03/24 12:19:13 |
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"Remember last week, when I said I thought I saw a squirrel go in the cellar..." 12/03/24 20:07:28 |
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14/02/24 12:01:03 |
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11/02/24 12:06:15 |
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suggested edits
email us
Curious to see what's under the bonnet
12:32pm
comment on caption:
The Scottish version of Knight Rider had a car called KILT. [Mark England]
Anyone stopping here... will be Rivetted to their seats.
12:46pm
comment on caption:
For a sitting Tennant? [Mark England]
I'd be wary because if Goldilocks is a thieving bastard she's more than likely lifted the boat without asking permission so whenever Baby Bear returns to shore depending who the boat belongs to, he might find himself mounted on a wall.
They might also be displeased with the mess that's left in the boat unless he throws Goldilocks overboard and drowns her but either which way he'll either look like he's stolen the boat completely by himself or that he's a savage bear with parts of Goldilock's mutiliated corpse and body fluids strewn about the boat.
Really Baby Bear should have thought this plan through 😱
8:40am
comment on caption:
"...my mummy and daddy are dead now. They never got over that little intrusion. The porridge, the broken chair, the stranger in my bed. I pretended to befriend you so I could get you here all alone. Now prepare to die" [Mark England]
Even celebrities can fall victim to grooming gangs.
9:01am
comment on caption:
"RWARRWWWGHHWAAARW"
"Dave, Have you nipped him again?" [Mark England]
one can New Hope
6:45pm
comment on caption:
"Where's Han Solo? We don't do Happy Endings here, love" [Mark England]
Heads will roll
8:13am
comment on caption:
Alas, the two builders were sacked the next day, not knowing that the company had employed an Albino amputee. [Mark England]
Heads will roll is a good stand alone caption would get a like from me.
8:22am
comment on caption:
Alas, the two builders were sacked the next day, not knowing that the company had employed an Albino amputee. [Mark England]
Can you still grin to get it in?
11:01pm
comment on caption:
Is it just me or did Wagon Wheels seem bigger when we were kids? [Mark England]
Monkey tennis?
6:20pm
comment on caption:
"..then marauding elephants are rampaging through town and that's where they meet Rubber Eye. She's sort of like Medusa but instead of stone she can turn things to rubber"
"Sorry, It's not for us, Mr Partridge" [Mark England]
'You annoying big bastard!' shouted the captioneers
4:53pm
comment on caption:
"You little bastards!" Shouted Gulliver [Mark England]