Pasta, chicken korma, rice, cheese sauce, boiled potatoes; I can make it all. Except good captions... And don't you dare tell me to simmer down or put a lid on it! ~ Recently my colander has been struggling under the strain of so many of you asking for a real life photo of me. So I've been a little saucy and uploaded one to my profile. Don't bubble over with excitement, but I do indeed scrub up well!

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best latest latest and best captions

	O little town of Bethleham 24/12/16 12:00:29		10
	Pinky wasn't feeling too Perky anymore 13/05/19 21:31:29		7
	"I swear... If he asks to be swung one more time I'll lamp him one" 16/01/17 14:03:58		7
	Artyficial Intelligence 29/11/19 20:07:03		5
	Wait 'til you see the matching lambshade 28/07/17 20:01:21		5
	Spike found an ingenious way for wheeling home his latest ear stretcher 22/07/18 13:26:47		4
	You learn all sorts when urine the army 15/09/16 20:06:11		4
	Mopsy made an exquisite Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Pugjudice. You should have seen the tongue action when she smooched Mr Dogsy! 24/09/19 13:26:52		3
	Carbon die-oxide 12/09/19 20:06:01		3
	They pick Dick, but willy pick them? 10/09/19 20:05:15	1	3
	I would Willie think so. --Willie Johnson
	And that was how I died, snacks in hand, waiting for a vote. 10/01/19 21:35:05	3	3
	My pleasure.  --Dot Old
	Now which did I put the damn message in? 08/09/16 14:21:07		3
	Yoko ono one of these babies for just £139 a month! 29/08/16 20:11:10		3
	🎵Pooper scooper Council's gonna fine you But I don't feel blue Like I always do... Because tonight the bill's on you🎵 18/07/21 20:19:40		2
	On the whole, the concert went swimmingly, though the set list was contentious. The fish wanted Bob Marley, the rays are partial to some Sting and the hammerhead sharks are big rock fans, proper metalheads. 04/10/21 21:01:03		1

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