A low moment in Will Smith's career, but at least he didn't hit Rock's bottom

30/03/22 20:02:46

O little town of Bethleham

24/12/16 12:00:29

By the end of the night they'll all be sh!t-faced 💩

Wed 8:02:49

lol

'Well I think this is better than the Japanese fishing net, but my teleportation trick needs some work.'

Tue 8:08:01

"Luke, I AM your father. But I sure as heck am not your mother. Start cleaning after yourself from now on."

17/03/22 8:21:51

Pinky wasn't feeling too Perky anymore

13/05/19 21:31:29

"I swear... If he asks to be swung one more time I'll lamp him one"

16/01/17 14:03:58

Joined at the lip

Mon 8:02:31

Lights, camera, CAPTION...

14/03/22 8:05:08

Artyficial Intelligence

29/11/19 20:07:03

Wait 'til you see the matching lambshade

28/07/17 20:01:21

'Thanks mate. Eve's eaten a dodgy apple and made a right mess in here.'

15/05/22 20:08:04

Travelling by train? Thought you guys would prefer the dictator ship

16/04/22 8:57:50

Cindy Clawford, fresh off the catwalk

03/04/22 20:37:44

I'd tap that

18/03/22 10:00:54

Peaky blinders

14/03/22 8:24:27

Spike found an ingenious way for wheeling home his latest ear stretcher

22/07/18 13:26:47

You learn all sorts when urine the army

15/09/16 20:06:11

"Oops... That one might be radioactive."

16/04/22 20:34:41

- "Gentlemen, just to alert you that a member of your party appears to be licking his bollocks under Table 11."
- "Terribly sorry, waiter. That'll be Alf. Can't take him anywhere."

06/04/22 8:26:25

Mopsy made an exquisite Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Pugjudice. You should have seen the tongue action when she smooched Mr Dogsy!

24/09/19 13:26:52

Carbon die-oxide

12/09/19 20:06:01

They pick Dick, but willy pick them?

10/09/19 20:05:15

And that was how I died, snacks in hand, waiting for a vote.

10/01/19 21:35:05

Now which did I put the damn message in?

08/09/16 14:21:07

Yoko ono one of these babies for just £139 a month!

29/08/16 20:11:10

You should see what he's left in the gift bags. He's a real party pooper.

Mon 12:08:21

It takes a lot of studying to become a doctor. David Tennant would know.

21/04/22 8:04:06

Here's looking at you, squid

17/04/22 8:51:19

"Those pesky captioneers won't spot me in here."

13/04/22 20:06:36

"What are you listening to Shelly?"

"And IIIIIIIIIIIII..."

11/04/22 20:57:09

Reminds me of that Sleeping Lions game we used to play in school. The one where Mr Ripley creeps up and touches you with that big, hard stick while we all pretended to sleep.

04/04/22 20:40:09

🎵 All caps bright and beautiful,
All bonnets great and small,
All hats white and wonderful,
God knows I hate them all 🎵

14/03/22 12:09:01

"Execute Order 69"

08/03/22 20:43:05

🎵Pooper scooper
Council's gonna fine you
But I don't feel blue
Like I always do...
Because tonight the bill's on you🎵

18/07/21 20:19:40

Someone, let the cats out the bog!

Thu 14:10:22

Bottoms up!

15/05/22 18:48:50

ah well-a-day! what evil looks had she from old and young
Instead of the cross, the Pizza Slice about her neck was hung

The Rime of the Pizza Hut Worker

05/05/22 8:15:35

Welcome on board the Dictator Express. Our next stop is Nazi Germany in approximately 5 hours. Please mind the gap when alighting the train. We wouldn't want any travellers slipping through the cracks of history.

16/04/22 8:50:33

Apparently the grass is greener on the other side

07/04/22 13:20:53

She's only enduring it for the Monet

06/04/22 13:39:32

Don't worry, just a mere nap

04/04/22 8:28:41

A Prêt-a-Mongrel special

02/04/22 13:22:01

Even today, the male idea of romance has not evolved much further

01/04/22 13:35:43

The sun was setting on Dave's busking days

28/03/22 20:53:35

What is he doing? It's 2022. Use a paper straw!

20/03/22 20:34:26

Dave was chuffed with the new armrest he'd bought from Pets at Home

17/03/22 14:11:04

-Wow, how did she DO that?
-Dunno. Maybe it's make-believe™?

13/03/22 8:46:26

Why serve plates when you can surf them?

11/03/22 20:00:18

Heating the home post energy crisis. It's not rocket science.

10/03/22 20:03:26