lol

The Old Grey Squirrel Test

13/01/13 12:02:55

Cabinet reshuffle

22/08/13 20:01:48

Whats this button for.

25/04/19 12:07:25

I was born and bread in this street

05/03/19 12:10:15

She shouldn't.have used Floora.

21/02/17 20:32:05

He plays like his father he is a chip off the old block

04/08/12 10:02:27

Now you see me now you cant

16/12/11 11:05:36

Thanks for helping , the toaster not working.

Wed 11:51:49

Now do you believe me, when i said the fish was off.

01/05/19 11:01:44

I bet the company who printed the t-shirt went bust.

17/01/19 20:34:17

Puke-a-mum.

30/03/19 12:53:14

My TomTom satnav is good, it said bear left.

22/01/19 13:52:08

Cat Scan.

14/01/19 13:47:24

I mustache you a question

18/12/18 9:25:23

Ministry of silly photographers

11/07/15 21:30:48

Number crunching

18/01/13 12:05:51

If i bite this mushroom, hope i don't shrink again.

12/05/19 12:19:21

Forget about all this fancy champagne, i fancy a birdwiser.

15/03/19 12:03:30

Look you owe me 5p.

14/03/19 20:41:46

Don't know what he is smiling about, he only comes once a year.

21/12/18 11:10:42

Hi i have managed to get to the uk, it has cost me the shirt off my back, and trousers

12/02/17 12:04:31

Full steam ahead

25/08/13 20:04:57

Thats the last time i get aftershave mixed up with baby bio

10/01/13 15:06:41

Ground head-day

09/01/13 12:37:59

Baby grow

02/01/13 21:25:58

Nessing about in the water

22/08/12 13:39:13

Head count

18/01/12 19:16:14

Dave was trying to peddle his surf board

30/05/14 10:24:09

That new pc support I bought is brilliant

15/08/13 20:29:46

Totsy-turvy

15/08/12 12:52:39

He used to be one off the chippendales

04/08/12 10:17:13

D'oh!

03/01/12 16:11:58

I had a negative experience when i went there.

30/04/19 9:26:41

With all that water hope he is wearing drainpipe trousers.

27/04/19 12:45:50

'That's All Folks!'

22/04/19 20:39:01

Sue was a stick in the mud.

11/03/19 20:01:27

She was always a stick in the mud.

06/01/19 12:08:15

Must be a Euro-pee-in duck.

29/03/17 21:35:52

Don't know all the fuss about a photograph of a goat on a surf board, you get board kids everywhere.

25/02/17 13:32:19

Using the steps keeps your body in tune.

07/02/17 12:16:33

When I grow up I want to be like you

27/06/15 14:58:27

Just because i would not get into the shower today, Mum you tricked me, you said if i stood on that big button i would get a sweet.

Thu 9:51:34

I was told to take notes.

12/05/19 22:18:19

I told the wife, that's why i don't put the toilet seat down.

24/04/19 10:09:27

Tell ya what, Gromit lad, he can keep the cheese.

14/04/19 18:13:24

Why don't you just get Acne cream, from the chemist.

31/03/19 20:17:15

Banana splits.

13/01/19 12:02:46

I have heard of runner beans,but not carrots.

31/12/18 14:03:24

Botox injections for cars, what will they think of next

25/12/18 18:17:32

I blame Brexit

25/12/18 11:38:31

🎵 Just one stiletto give it to me🎵

07/03/17 10:31:52

I think they are trying to pull the wool over our eyes with these new houses.

19/02/17 17:59:40

Your just like your father, your just a stick in the mud.

15/02/17 10:23:21

Mary was all wrapped up in her job

14/02/17 12:12:43

Loo level bridge ahead

30/01/17 12:13:08

I am mortarified sir

29/01/17 20:52:59

Move Your Bacon

25/07/15 20:12:51

Dear Santa I would like the following for Christmas

04/07/15 12:04:08

Ok boys lets see whose still standing after were stoned

03/07/15 16:11:27

When I ordered this suit I asked for one with light material, but I was not expecting this

01/07/15 13:15:59

Sally had always been a bit of the rails

30/06/15 20:08:34

Bird watching

22/08/13 11:13:25

Packed man

21/08/13 12:02:53

Pumpcanned

20/08/13 13:57:01

Could you please hurry up I have to be in the house of parliament in 1 hour

10/08/13 13:31:45

That biker is barking mad

10/08/13 10:16:14

They told me I am fit for work

07/08/13 18:39:57

Land of the sleeping son

01/01/13 12:28:07

Sue had reached the g spot of photography

20/08/12 23:00:56

My life is hanging by a thread

10/08/12 23:47:08

It takes a lot of bottle to ride that bike

10/08/12 16:10:10

Wedding bust up

30/07/12 20:55:33

Motherwell supporters trying to work out the theory if they can win the league

27/01/12 12:11:44

window undressing

31/12/11 12:29:36

We would never teach any of our players to dive to get a penalty

13/12/11 11:30:39

Wickhead Photograph

06/12/11 19:17:47

I don't WANT PPI.

09/05/19 21:20:31

Whiskas prefer four out of five mice.

03/05/19 14:16:31

I Had a ruff night.

01/05/19 13:55:29

Can't wait to see what happens when she walks past a lamp post.

30/04/19 14:26:20

Local Loch Ness monster sightings , explained by photograph of bathers.

26/04/19 11:15:22

That is the last time i get baby bio, mixed up with my suntan lotion.

18/04/19 20:28:15

The eyes have it

08/04/19 14:03:15

Must be a GMBEE union meeting.

04/04/19 9:15:21

Linda you know when the estate agent said they would advertise the house on the cloud.

22/03/19 23:21:40

"Pack Up Your Kitty in Your Old Kit-Bag, and Smile, Smile, Smile"

18/03/19 9:20:37

Was wondering where the spare wheel was.

09/03/19 12:06:04

Ok i will paye my water bill, just give me clean water.

01/03/19 9:39:25

Hello police , its morgain here, there is someone here impersonating me.

08/02/19 10:48:16

The head hunter have got to the models

07/02/19 14:01:56

Ok Mr Tusk, if you stop playing we will not leave europe

07/02/19 10:06:42

If you drive in that you will get the scoots

05/02/19 13:41:23

I told you not to fly with the budget airline, they fly of the clift and hope for the best.

05/02/19 10:07:04

I know you can't bear the cold,stop harping on about it.

30/01/19 9:38:39

New scotch car window cleaning service, with lifetime guarantee.

25/01/19 10:21:55

God's Playground.

21/01/19 9:27:35

John likes to lie in the sun and watch the cup online.

19/01/19 11:22:37

Its the worst safety spell they have had in years.

09/01/19 21:02:49

You should see the doctor about that splinter in your hand.

08/01/19 10:26:19

The young police officer prefered the older women,but did not like the new speed dating, events.

07/01/19 9:50:48

George I need to get this off my chest, i am a alcoholic.

01/01/19 14:51:18

I think the local farmer is using too much pesticides.

31/12/18 13:16:14

Soul Survivors

27/12/18 11:16:43

Don't understand how my wife says she can see right through me

17/12/18 22:33:10

Watch out for the potholes

15/12/18 17:31:43

Just like buses, when you miss one, then two turn up.

27/03/17 13:50:52

You have forgot your PG Tips.

03/03/17 12:01:57

You First, no you First.

02/03/17 23:08:29

The DWP has declared me fit for work, they have refused my claim for benefits, what a let down.
nod 12:00:14

02/03/17 12:17:21

Dave tell him i voted for Donald Trump,

28/02/17 10:28:32

They were all felling ill after the Gondolier took a funny turn.

27/02/17 13:46:08

Mum - I can see the house from 'ere

26/02/17 13:22:26

Another fly tipper.

21/02/17 0:10:52

John hated being constipated.

20/02/17 11:12:16

Police and detectives combed the house after a break-in.

19/02/17 18:25:28

Hi stop arsing around back there

18/02/17 16:00:24

Davids Gorilla's face transplant Had a few hairy moments

18/02/17 10:44:06

John was tired of his old rubber fetish, he though he would try and get back on track with his life.

17/02/17 17:33:12

Cant wait to see the size of the tape dispenser.

17/02/17 10:15:37

Must have bought the new type of hairin aid,

16/02/17 21:57:52

The new olympic swimming competition, due to water drought.

13/02/17 10:11:47

John had a new roll as a baker.

12/02/17 20:20:29

I don't want her to be my cheerleader, she is a upside-down and out

12/02/17 12:00:38

We are going to get the dog, who shot ma paw

12/02/17 11:56:07

Ok who put Red Bull in the horse trough

11/02/17 17:58:10

If someone stuck a chimney sweeps brush up your bum you would jump

11/02/17 16:06:00

You can use leak proof Huggies, and big boy pull ups any where.

09/02/17 23:33:41

Smell these armpits, that will wake you up

08/02/17 22:06:40

Why did mum and dad post a photo of us on Caption.me

08/02/17 12:05:10

I know the baby looks like his dad, but he is not that ugly you have to hide him in the set of drawers when some one comes to visit.

07/02/17 8:05:15

No one ever had to say a crossword about the residencies of the tower block

06/02/17 12:17:03

John took a trip down memory line

05/02/17 11:18:32

Prambulance

04/02/17 10:50:15

Thai bye

02/02/17 21:17:02

She should tidy her self up she looks a bit tatty

02/02/17 14:32:29

Marmite you love it or you hate it

29/01/17 18:25:43

Doing time for arseon

25/01/17 10:29:54

The new manual focus for glass eye.

24/01/17 14:47:05

Thats the last time we use a Sat Nav.

24/01/17 14:32:25

Its a long Trek to get here

21/01/17 16:44:30

I'm Late, I'm Late my husband will be home soon

26/07/15 10:28:43

Draft pork

25/07/15 20:02:18

Must be for the new pond movie

12/07/15 13:30:10

Snap bill

11/07/15 20:57:40

Who farted It wasn't me

29/06/15 13:15:18

They said this new sex toy was hot, but I
wasn't expecting this

27/06/15 14:56:34

Yes edinburgh tattoo is in august

19/06/15 16:17:00

Must have been in the special branch

04/06/14 9:52:04

I know the drill

28/05/14 10:28:29

Dave was not cut out to be a skateboarder

24/05/14 12:01:20

That pint has a good head on it

22/05/14 22:53:43

The new politician grin training machine

01/09/13 11:23:05

The mask has got out of the wrong side of his bed this morning

20/08/13 20:53:02

Stalin darlin

14/08/13 17:26:30

Bum deal, two for the price of one

13/08/13 16:36:26

Mummy when I grow up I want to be a spin doctor

10/08/13 11:03:50

Susan went for a light swim she though the water was a little nippy

30/01/13 22:57:53

What is this button for

20/01/13 12:59:22

I cant finger it out why he done it

14/01/13 21:12:35

Wonder who we can catch out after cutting hole in wall

11/01/13 15:07:06

That new baby bio is amazing

03/01/13 19:01:53

Go away i have shell shock

05/09/12 16:27:37

Loouvre Gardens

02/09/12 12:05:20

Cornish man

29/08/12 10:04:25

If i press here will thay go bust

19/08/12 12:24:34

Nappy changing room this direction

03/08/12 14:42:32

That curry was hot

01/08/12 20:08:56

Thatchers House

30/07/12 20:52:39

I wonder if the teletubbies,manage to escape across the boarder.

Thu 11:44:07

Right whoever holds there breath underwater for the longest, will get the job as prim minister.

Tue 12:27:47

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Mon 14:14:59

View to a kill.

11/05/19 19:11:19

Come out come out where-ever you are, iam going to deliver you.

10/05/19 13:26:03

Another sandbanksy, dont know if i could aford it.

08/05/19 22:42:35

Better check you dipped lights are on.

08/05/19 22:36:44

That's the last time we give you beans for you breakfast.

07/05/19 22:21:14

Mother duck was a carnival, she eat the head first of otherwe baby ducks by trapping them in her wings.

03/05/19 9:25:01

Flower power.

02/05/19 20:33:05

The court of human rights.

02/05/19 20:28:40

Must be a chauffeur, meat and greet.

02/05/19 18:19:00

My name is batman, and i will flog you within a inch of your life if you don't surrender.

01/05/19 22:10:53

All because the lady Loves Milk Tray.
Stuff this i am away home.

30/04/19 22:49:53

Anyone taken a photograph will be shot with a cannon.

30/04/19 16:35:40

Paws for thought

29/04/19 20:06:40

Get down shep.

29/04/19 10:32:42

What type of service do i want, just the bear minimum thanks.

28/04/19 21:08:38

They must be clearing out the house of lords, there goes another dinosaur.

28/04/19 12:37:01

Sue was just back from the local book club, after reading a hair-raising story.

28/04/19 10:47:25

Last resort men , we had to send in his gran.

28/04/19 0:24:00

Hello it, the clone button has stopped working on printer we have lost another worker.

27/04/19 18:49:23

Son you are a chip off the old block.

27/04/19 12:47:33

Who put invisible ink in printer.

26/04/19 11:16:58

Mary was hard of hearing when her husband, asked bring me a packet of swan matches.

25/04/19 22:10:50

i am first in the queue, the shoes don't have a leg to stand on.

25/04/19 10:13:10

I told you not to ring our door bell again.

21/04/19 11:50:59

We were all wondering why gran,never asked for a Elastoplast, when she said she got a small prick at art class.

18/04/19 19:01:22

Watch out buck Rodger is behind us, and hes not called Rodger for nothing.

14/04/19 18:09:35

That work of art is a fisheries commission.

13/04/19 13:00:19

The first two must use Daz.

11/04/19 10:25:47

The red truck must be trying to break the Land speaker record.

08/04/19 11:02:53