signed up: 1 year, 6 months ago
profile viewed: 149 time(s) this week
captions since joining: 1,037
captions this week: 12 (quota: 32)
votes given since joining: 467
vote score: 1066 
(13 this week)
Paul Woolley
BSc (Hons), MSc, Marathon runner, Noted lothario, Pilot, Doctor and winner of "Compulsive Liar of the Year" competition.
Interests: Caption competitions, ballroom dancing, walks, nights out, quizzes, Bond films.
Status: Single
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captions
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"Oman that looks bad" comments (total: 1) |
19/10/11 |
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"Drinking lots never harmed me!" says Dave, 24 from Clapham. comments (total: 1) |
10/01/12 |
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"Ok, I know it's big but there's no need to spell it out!" comments (total: 1) |
29/10/11 |
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The first blonde to walk all over a Beetle since Heather Mills. comments (total: 8)This reminds me of the shell of a red volkswagon on top of a van with the caption: "Not only Heather Mills is taking a Beatle for a ride." Who created that one, anyone remember? 26/07/11
01:51am I don't know, but I certainly hope I'm not being accused of cheating because I haven't. This seemed an obvious joke to me and I was suprised no-one else had made a similar one once I got to post mine. 28/07/11
10:21am No need for finger-pointing here. It's natural that some caption concepts are going to be repeated over a period of years. In this case, Paul's caption is similar to one we saw from Stuart Chapman back in mid-2008, but Paul wasn't to know that as he signed up last year.
Both of these are on my todo list. See also: discussion in the forums 
Chris Beach  (admin) 28/07/11
10:39am Couldn't a caption be really funny for another picture also? old jokes are often repeated by comedians but with a twist. I think if anyone remembers a similar caption, maybe just pointing out which one might have the positive effect of people looking more into older captions. Depending on the twist the last caption might receive more or less votes according to originality.. 28/07/11
12:17pm |
25/07/11 |
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May the sauce be with you... |
02/01/12 |
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In Thailand it's not unusual to find a girl with a Chopper. comments (total: 2) |
04/01/12 |
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"What factor suncream should I use?" |
05/12/11 |
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David was amazed that his neutrinos were in his jar as he hadn't planned on putting them there until tomorrow. comments (total: 7)If you understand the caption it's a brilliant one I agree :) 24/11/11
01:49pm Of course everyone knows that a neutrino is an electrically neutral, weakly interacting elementary subatomic particle with a half-integer spin, chirality and a disputed but small non-zero mass.
[anon] 26/11/11
05:48pm Paul Wooly won the £50 competition, even though the winner isn't announced for 30 days. 01/12/11
01:45pm |
24/11/11 |
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It was a strain looking after Harry Redknapp's tax returns. |
26/01/12 |
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Photographers gather as John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett arrive in Tokyo. comments (total: 2)Very very clever, how well I remember " I look up to him, but not as much as I look up to him." 19/11/11
07:13pm |
19/11/11 |
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"So I took my knickers off and said 'Have you ever seen a red-haired twat before?', and he said 'Yes, Mick Hucknall.'" comments (total: 7)Baggy Puss, this isn't my caption but I've got to say that the speech marks are perfect. In fact the whole sentence is punctuated perfectly (well done captioneer). It's great that you are policing the site but please get it right. 27/10/11
08:41pm Do you know what Steve, you are bloody right. I'm so sorry, I've just looked again and it is. Thank you for pointing that out mate. Sorry captioneer. I shall delete the wrong advice but just so people know, I incorrectly said that the speech marks were wrong and they are not... they're perfect. 27/10/11
09:06pm Thanks for your kind words. I know what you mean about spelling and punctuation etc as if it has been done badly it can really detract from a good idea.
(caption author) 27/10/11
09:35pm The speech marks have been used faultlessly; though the way I was taught, there should be a comma after 'said' as well. 30/10/11
12:00pm I did think about that, but I decided that when people were reading it to themselves I didn't want there to be any pause between the 'said' and the 'Yes'. I thought that having a comma there and also between 'Yes' and 'Mick Hucknall' would give two hesitations within a very short time and disturb the flow too much.
(caption author) 30/10/11
12:06pm @David G and Anon. Not really. Commas aren't supposed to show a pause. If a sentence needs a pause for breath then it's too long. The comma is used to signify an aside, something that is incidental to the main point of the sentence. You should be able to remove that part (the part before or after one comma OR the part between two) of the sentence without it losing its main meaning. If we add a comma where you suggest - and then remove the incidental part between the two commas - we're left with "So I took my knickers off and said 'Yes, Mick Hucknall.'". I agree that that could work as a sentence but it loses most of its meaning. 30/10/11
06:28pm |
27/10/11 |
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"Why Dubai such weird t-shirts?" |
19/10/11 |
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"Hmm, it says here that Socrates thought that for a man to conquer himself is the first and noblest of all victories." |
10/10/11 |
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Black pawn meets white knight |
19/01/12 |
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"Vacancy: Washers required." |
07/11/11 |
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The doctor thinks I've got Qatar. |
19/10/11 |
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The government once again ignored Bombardier and awarded the new train contract to Dave's Autos in Croydon. |
07/01/12 |
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Snow White was beginning to regret moving in. |
07/12/11 |
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She should have gone the Safeway. |
26/11/11 |
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"...and under the UK's new immigration controls you can accept this lollipop as my passport." |
15/11/11 |
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Another photo of a big-chested airhead. |
24/10/11 |
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"I've seen the Bond films. Now we've pushed dad's Lotus into the water it should turn into a submarine." |
18/10/11 |
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Insane-sburys |
Monday |
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"Virgin?" |
12/01/12 |
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After MPs advise people to have 2 drink free days, Dave picks January the 10th and 11th....2056. |
10/01/12 |
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"How much is that dogging in the window...?" |
30/12/11 |
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…and over the road a man with a megaphone advertising a library for the deaf. |
14/12/11 |
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"You were meant to build a futuristic house!" |
14/12/11 |
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Tim was well prepared for the Brussel Sprout season. |
13/12/11 |
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"No, it says 'add a baby mushroom'!" |
21/11/11 |
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"I don't get it...it says 'Please Turn Over' on both sides..." |
13/10/11 |
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Media shower. |
09/10/11 |
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They called it that as they built it on an old collie-ry. |
24/01/12 |
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“In the future, Hoff, I predict that you’ll work with the biggest pair of tits in show business” comments (total: 1) |
19/01/12 |
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Even more worrying is it’s clearly a sign designed for drivers. comments (total: 1)That's why I took the picture (I think I took it in Durham a few years ago). 14/12/11
11:04pm |
14/12/11 |
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"You bitch! I said I was going to wear that!" |
24/11/11 |
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The Leaning Tower of Geezers |
14/10/11 |
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"That's the last of the Greek population leaving the country, which means that you, me and the Acropolis owe everyone else €57 trillion" |
12/01/12 |
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After being forced to resign, Silvio Berlusconi threw a party to cheer himself up. |
30/11/11 |
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"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, comments (total: 1) |
25/11/11 |
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"Damn, same mistake again! Now where did I park my Lada?" |
11/11/11 |
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"Why are you miming? Catgut your tongue?" |
11/10/11 |
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No Scooter? comments (total: 1) |
04/10/11 |
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Cartman |
Monday |
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“I never said you were fat, Darling, I just thought this was a safer way to get you home than a minicab.” |
20/01/12 |
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Religion will do everything it can to save your soles. |
15/01/12 |
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This wasn't just any fall, this was an M & S fall. |
26/11/11 |
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Tiger Wood's eye for blondes had started at an early age. |
15/11/11 |
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The years hadn't been kind to The Eurythmics |
30/10/11 |
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"Come back...I haven't shown you the upstairs yet!" |
30/10/11 |
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top comments (total: 55)
I was really chuffed with myself for this one. But you can tell I'm not voting for myself from another computer or account because this has still got zero points lol. Incidentally, where are you resting that wine glass??? 
07:04pm
comment on caption: "I thought you said we were all coming bear-chested!" [Paul Woolley]
"An Eagle and a pair of great tits" sounds like what Tiger Woods is hoping for whilst standing on the 18th tee.
09:48pm
comment on caption: What a day out, An Eagle and a pair of great tits. [Dan Dan]
Not only does the photo look like they're on an island but the pose the man is in looks quite like the flag of the Isle of Man.
10:28pm
comment on caption: He's from the Isle of Man [John Llamas]
I have to disagree, Cath.
I understand that sometimes captions can seem very similar, and in that case it should be for the new captioneer and voters to decide whether the new one is better, or adds something more (with a nod of acknowledgement), or should be deleted.
But you can't go as far as to say that, once someone has posted a caption based on the word "spark", that no-one else can use the same word. This would mean that after about 11.05, when puns have been based on spark, ashes, embers, fire etc, that no-one else could use those terms and this would be wrong.
I think the system is good now, in that if a caption is similar to an earlier one, that someone comments and then both voters and captioneers can make their own minds up.
04:53pm
comment on caption: He truly was the brightest spark on the block! [Anna]
Not true! When Scotland win the World Cup I'll be more than happy to buy you a pint!
08:58pm
comment on caption: Never ask a Scotsman to "say when". [Paul Woolley]
Very, very clever! I wish I'd thought of that.
11:14am
comment on caption: 'tee hee,it's not the first time i've been up to my nuts in a garland' [Craig Eddie]
Well done Pablo!
01:45pm
comment on caption: Lust in Translation. [Pablo Cabello]
Mind you Dan, these days it's a rare thing when Steve's caption isn't right at the top! 
10:12pm
comment on caption: Please do not look at this photo if you are under 8, it's been rated PG. [Ian Searle]
I'm not usually a betting man, but I think this quip tastes like Fosbraey's.
09:59pm
comment on caption: Please do not look at this photo if you are under 8, it's been rated PG. [Ian Searle]
Wow! Nearly a whole day since the pic was posted and you've come up with one that is not only brilliant but that everyone else somehow missed too! Well done.
06:28pm
comment on caption: Miss World [Gordon Bannerman]
last comments (total: 84)
I wish!
06:39pm
comment on caption: The particle accelerator at CERN found that Curly Wurlys are the building blocks of the universe. [Paul Woolley]
:-) Thanks
01:14pm
comment on caption: "You get nothing for a pear..." [Paul Woolley]
Not in this game!
Have a Brucie bonus my friend.
11:18pm
comment on caption: "You get nothing for a pear..." [Paul Woolley]
One Tits bigger than the other.
11:27am
comment on caption:
“In the future, Hoff, I predict that you’ll work with the biggest pair of tits in show business”
“Do you mean Piers Morgan and Michael McIntyre?”
[Paul Woolley]
Very good!
08:16am
comment on caption: "Drinking lots never harmed me!" says Dave, 24 from Clapham. [Paul Woolley]
:-) I thought about putting lady or woman but it wouldn't have fitted in with the photo
01:46pm
comment on caption: In Thailand it's not unusual to find a girl with a Chopper. [Paul Woolley]
I didn't know Gary Glitter entered Caption Me contests?
08:50pm
comment on caption: In Thailand it's not unusual to find a girl with a Chopper. [Paul Woolley]
Agreed and changed, thanks for the suggestion!
08:12pm
comment on caption: I lost my hearth to a starship trooper... [Paul Woolley]
Maybe 'Hearth'?
09:48pm
comment on caption: I lost my hearth to a starship trooper... [Paul Woolley]
I honestly do not see it to how it's supposed to form a "caption" in those words. Still makes it offensive in my part considering it doesn't vary anything appropriate nor relate to the concept in particular.
02:28am
comment on caption: Never, in the field of human conflict, have so many, voted, for a picture, that's this shit! [Paul Woolley]
Top Quality.
11:33am