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When I tell her not to smoke in the house she just gives me a load of lip.
17/05/17 23:50:07
What could they be? Discus...
17/05/17 23:00:05
Sandra maintained a stiff upper lip despite Wagon Wheels getting smaller
17/05/17 22:53:25
The applaud was deafening as the singer finished the act with an impression of Al Jolson singing Mammy
17/05/17 21:05:45
"I'm determined not to develop those little lines that appear round the mouths of smokers."
17/05/17 20:57:25
"Botox sales are expected to plummet when women discover this cheaper method of acquiring fuller lips," the plate manufacturer piped up.
17/05/17 20:55:57
"When I said we will have to put a pipe with camera down her throat for the endoscopy ......"
17/05/17 20:55:56
Snout pout.
17/05/17 20:31:26
"My name is Dick Billed-Platypus..."
17/05/17 20:22:45
When the doctor talked about inserting a couple of metal plates we assumed it would be the back of the head.
17/05/17 20:07:45
"No chance of a snog, then?"
19/05/17 11:16:55
When Sherlock Holmes asked for lip service he definitely got it!
18/05/17 18:32:16
Well they did say stick a pipe in it!
18/05/17 18:31:15
"Why two?" "She was told to 'Put a lid on it'"
18/05/17 10:53:28
Smoke and mirrors.
18/05/17 1:02:20
Smoking is not allowed and you must stow your frisbee'sin the overhead bin before take off.
18/05/17 0:54:46
...and this is how 'pan pipes' originated
17/05/17 23:55:21
Someone has been gobsmoked.
17/05/17 23:23:21
Lip discs not to be confused with Slip discs.
17/05/17 22:40:44
"Well ........ it keeps the rain off your tits"
17/05/17 22:20:29
"Anyone for table tennis?"
17/05/17 22:19:16
Local Coffee shop baffled by the constant theft of plates and saucers.
17/05/17 22:18:12
"I suppose a blow-job would be out of the question?"
17/05/17 21:58:12
Basi said she was inspired when playing crazy golf in Hastings
17/05/17 21:57:42
Ron Jeremy's ex says she took up pipe smoking to retrain her mouth.
17/05/17 21:21:24
Why must people always pout on selfies?
17/05/17 20:52:12
"Do an impression of Harold Wilson?""Don't you think I've got enough on my plate?"
17/05/17 20:51:02
Implates
17/05/17 20:48:24
'How will I recognise Martha at the airport?''She wears interesting bangles.'
17/05/17 20:47:43
Smoke rings
17/05/17 20:46:02
Ash trays
17/05/17 20:30:29
Frank St Bruno
17/05/17 20:28:35
Warning: Smoking tobacco may cause mouth deformities
17/05/17 20:28:09
That reminds me - when are we next going to Blackpool to play on those 2p arcade machines?
17/05/17 20:27:16
Mmm, very dishy
17/05/17 20:13:10
All set for the evening. Top plate to tap out your pipe, bottom one for snacks. But where to put the cup holder ?
17/05/17 20:12:50
Police say they are becoming increasingly concerned by the sudden disappearance of the dentist from his office in Nairobi.
17/05/17 20:12:06
"Guys, has anybody seen my castanets?"
17/05/17 20:11:06
"Us British know how to maintain a stiff upper...oh er, and lower lip."
17/05/17 20:09:22
Old hole borin
17/05/17 20:05:30
Cultural traditions have since changed, Gary now vapes
17/05/17 20:05:23
"Dave, stop staring"."I can't. I love that tshirt".
17/05/17 20:03:51
Pipe and lippers
17/05/17 20:01:49