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When I tell her not to smoke in the house she just gives me a load of lip.
When I tell her not to smoke in the house she just gives me a load of lip. photo | portfolio
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Pete  Vote score: 16380Pete

When I tell her not to smoke in the house she just gives me a load of lip.

17/05/17 22:50:07

 
C CaMel Vote score: 2409C CaMel

What could they be? Discus...

17/05/17 22:00:05

 
C CaMel Vote score: 2409C CaMel

Sandra maintained a stiff upper lip despite Wagon Wheels getting smaller

17/05/17 21:53:25

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2401GeeDee

The applaud was deafening as the singer finished the act with an impression of Al Jolson singing Mammy

17/05/17 20:05:45

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 4593Pussy Galore

"I'm determined not to develop those little lines that appear round the mouths of smokers."

17/05/17 19:57:25

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 1879Vivvy En

"Botox sales are expected to plummet when women discover this cheaper method of acquiring fuller lips," the plate manufacturer piped up.

17/05/17 19:55:57

 
John  Glover Vote score: 15920John Glover

"When I said we will have to put a pipe with camera down her throat for the endoscopy ......"

17/05/17 19:55:56

 
Pete  Vote score: 16380Pete

Snout pout.

17/05/17 19:31:26

 
Smuldo Vote score: 9617Smuldo

"My name is Dick Billed-Platypus..."

17/05/17 19:22:45

 
Richard Burns Vote score: 375Richard Burns

When the doctor talked about inserting a couple of metal plates we assumed it would be the back of the head.

17/05/17 19:07:45

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 4593Pussy Galore

"No chance of a snog, then?"

19/05/17 10:16:55

 
Helen Jane Helen Jane

When Sherlock Holmes asked for lip service he definitely got it!

18/05/17 17:32:16

 
Helen Jane Helen Jane

Well they did say stick a pipe in it!

18/05/17 17:31:15

 
Gf j Vote score: 327Gf j

"Why two?"
"She was told to 'Put a lid on it'"

18/05/17 9:53:28

 
larry G. Vote score: 917larry G.

Smoke and mirrors.

18/05/17 0:02:20

 
larry G. Vote score: 917larry G.

Smoking is not allowed and you must stow your frisbee's
in the overhead bin before take off.

17/05/17 23:54:46

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 3398Mr Dome

...and this is how 'pan pipes' originated

17/05/17 22:55:21

 
Pete  Vote score: 16380Pete

Someone has been gobsmoked.

17/05/17 22:23:21

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 7924Neil Mackenzie

Lip discs not to be confused with Slip discs.

17/05/17 21:40:44

 
John Llamas Vote score: 18176John Llamas

"Well ........ it keeps the rain off your tits"

17/05/17 21:20:29

 
John Llamas Vote score: 18176John Llamas

"Anyone for table tennis?"

17/05/17 21:19:16

 
John  Glover Vote score: 15920John Glover

Local Coffee shop baffled by the constant theft of plates and saucers.

17/05/17 21:18:12

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 28861Welsh Rarebit

"I suppose a blow-job would be out of the question?"

17/05/17 20:58:12

 
John Llamas Vote score: 18176John Llamas

Basi said she was inspired when playing crazy golf in Hastings

17/05/17 20:57:42

 
Pete  Vote score: 16380Pete

Ron Jeremy's ex says she took up pipe smoking to retrain her mouth.

17/05/17 20:21:24

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 4593Pussy Galore

Why must people always pout on selfies?

17/05/17 19:52:12

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 4333Paul Reeve

"Do an impression of Harold Wilson?"
"Don't you think I've got enough on my plate?"

17/05/17 19:51:02

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 24959Tony Edwards

Implates

17/05/17 19:48:24

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2799Jonathan Allsopp

'How will I recognise Martha at the airport?'
'She wears interesting bangles.'

17/05/17 19:47:43

 
Craig Eddie Vote score: 635Craig Eddie

Smoke rings

17/05/17 19:46:02

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 17415Ian Skelding

Ash trays

17/05/17 19:30:29

 
Mark England Vote score: 12756Mark England

Frank St Bruno

17/05/17 19:28:35

 
Mark England Vote score: 12756Mark England

Warning: Smoking tobacco may cause mouth deformities

17/05/17 19:28:09

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2799Jonathan Allsopp

That reminds me - when are we next going to Blackpool to play on those 2p arcade machines?

17/05/17 19:27:16

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 28861Welsh Rarebit

Mmm, very dishy

17/05/17 19:13:10

 
Richard Burns Vote score: 375Richard Burns

All set for the evening. Top plate to tap out your pipe, bottom one for snacks. But where to put the cup holder ?

17/05/17 19:12:50

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 2799Jonathan Allsopp

Police say they are becoming increasingly concerned by the sudden disappearance of the dentist from his office in Nairobi.

17/05/17 19:12:06

 
Michael Winner Vote score: 19448Michael Winner

"Guys, has anybody seen my castanets?"

17/05/17 19:11:06

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 28861Welsh Rarebit

"Us British know how to maintain a stiff upper...oh er, and lower lip."

17/05/17 19:09:22

 
Craig Eddie Vote score: 635Craig Eddie

Old hole borin

17/05/17 19:05:30

 
C CaMel Vote score: 2409C CaMel

Cultural traditions have since changed, Gary now vapes

17/05/17 19:05:23

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 8627Dan Nicholls

"Dave, stop staring".
"I can't. I love that tshirt".

17/05/17 19:03:51

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 24959Tony Edwards

Pipe and lippers

17/05/17 19:01:49

 
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