When I tell her not to smoke in the house she just gives me a load of lip.

17/05/17 23:50:07

What could they be? Discus...

17/05/17 23:00:05

Sandra maintained a stiff upper lip despite Wagon Wheels getting smaller

17/05/17 22:53:25

The applaud was deafening as the singer finished the act with an impression of Al Jolson singing Mammy

17/05/17 21:05:45

"I'm determined not to develop those little lines that appear round the mouths of smokers."

17/05/17 20:57:25

"Botox sales are expected to plummet when women discover this cheaper method of acquiring fuller lips," the plate manufacturer piped up.

17/05/17 20:55:57

"When I said we will have to put a pipe with camera down her throat for the endoscopy ......"

17/05/17 20:55:56

Snout pout.

17/05/17 20:31:26

"My name is Dick Billed-Platypus..."

17/05/17 20:22:45

When the doctor talked about inserting a couple of metal plates we assumed it would be the back of the head.

17/05/17 20:07:45

"No chance of a snog, then?"

19/05/17 11:16:55

When Sherlock Holmes asked for lip service he definitely got it!

18/05/17 18:32:16

Well they did say stick a pipe in it!

18/05/17 18:31:15

"Why two?"
"She was told to 'Put a lid on it'"

18/05/17 10:53:28

Smoke and mirrors.

18/05/17 1:02:20

Smoking is not allowed and you must stow your frisbee's
in the overhead bin before take off.

18/05/17 0:54:46

...and this is how 'pan pipes' originated

17/05/17 23:55:21

Someone has been gobsmoked.

17/05/17 23:23:21

Lip discs not to be confused with Slip discs.

17/05/17 22:40:44

"Well ........ it keeps the rain off your tits"

17/05/17 22:20:29

"Anyone for table tennis?"

17/05/17 22:19:16

Local Coffee shop baffled by the constant theft of plates and saucers.

17/05/17 22:18:12

"I suppose a blow-job would be out of the question?"

17/05/17 21:58:12

Basi said she was inspired when playing crazy golf in Hastings

17/05/17 21:57:42

Ron Jeremy's ex says she took up pipe smoking to retrain her mouth.

17/05/17 21:21:24

Why must people always pout on selfies?

17/05/17 20:52:12

"Do an impression of Harold Wilson?"
"Don't you think I've got enough on my plate?"

17/05/17 20:51:02

Implates

17/05/17 20:48:24

'How will I recognise Martha at the airport?'
'She wears interesting bangles.'

17/05/17 20:47:43

Smoke rings

17/05/17 20:46:02

Ash trays

17/05/17 20:30:29

Frank St Bruno

17/05/17 20:28:35

Warning: Smoking tobacco may cause mouth deformities

17/05/17 20:28:09

That reminds me - when are we next going to Blackpool to play on those 2p arcade machines?

17/05/17 20:27:16

Mmm, very dishy

17/05/17 20:13:10

All set for the evening. Top plate to tap out your pipe, bottom one for snacks. But where to put the cup holder ?

17/05/17 20:12:50

Police say they are becoming increasingly concerned by the sudden disappearance of the dentist from his office in Nairobi.

17/05/17 20:12:06

"Guys, has anybody seen my castanets?"

17/05/17 20:11:06

"Us British know how to maintain a stiff upper...oh er, and lower lip."

17/05/17 20:09:22

Old hole borin

17/05/17 20:05:30

Cultural traditions have since changed, Gary now vapes

17/05/17 20:05:23

"Dave, stop staring".
"I can't. I love that tshirt".

17/05/17 20:03:51

Pipe and lippers

17/05/17 20:01:49