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"Now pay attention, Bond- whatever you do, dont press the button marked Magnet."
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Michael Winner Vote score: 18126Michael Winner

"Now pay attention, Bond- whatever you do, don't press the button marked 'Magnet'."

18/04/17 11:24:47

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7129Leroy Brown

"So the reason I pulled you over sir, you do realise that it is an offense to drive with your number plate covered don't you?"

18/04/17 9:36:35

 
Baglan Gladiator Vote score: 888Baglan Gladiator

Police are still mystified at who vandalised Snow Whites' car

18/04/17 18:20:29

 
John Llamas Vote score: 17014John Llamas

Call it a sixth sense ....... Dave suspected that Monica may know about him and Tina.

18/04/17 8:13:58

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 2771Pussy Galore

"I told you not to try and cross that picket line."

18/04/17 10:35:18

 
Mr Dome Vote score: 2124Mr Dome

The insurance company refused to payout on the grounds the car was damaged by axe of god

18/04/17 9:15:34

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1245Jonathan Allsopp

Cliff Richard announces new album and tour.

18/04/17 8:51:43

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 2270Vanessa the Guesser

Ow-di

18/04/17 8:08:31

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 26675Welsh Rarebit

Do you ever wish that you'd taken out axe-ident insurance cover?

18/04/17 8:00:10

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 40Crunchy Chords

"She left in a fit of pique-axe."
"Audi-plorable!"

18/04/17 14:31:02

 
tony kelly Vote score: 626tony kelly

Top gear axed after one episode.

18/04/17 9:07:47

 
Mark England Vote score: 11836Mark England

"Darling, remember yesterday when you shouted 'Wankers' at the workers on the building site? Well...."

18/04/17 8:36:29

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1245Jonathan Allsopp

Trump enjoys night out with family.

18/04/17 8:34:19

 
John Llamas Vote score: 17014John Llamas

"How did the first day go with the Community Service boys dear ....?"

18/04/17 8:26:17

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 2270Vanessa the Guesser

Looks like Snow White won't be having 7 up again any time soon.

18/04/17 8:18:53

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 23168Tony Edwards

Vorsprung durch Techpick

18/04/17 8:12:54

 
John Llamas Vote score: 17014John Llamas

What Car Pick of the Year

18/04/17 8:07:51

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 7313Dan Nicholls

After spending all Easter weekend on the booze with his mates, forgetting their anniversary and getting mud all over the new carpet, Tony got up early for work on Tuesday...

18/04/17 8:01:53

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 7313Dan Nicholls

hatchet back

18/04/17 8:00:31

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 7313Dan Nicholls

Noooooooooo, I said 'nice motor, get some pics!'

18/04/17 8:00:19

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 7313Dan Nicholls

Babe, when I said 'go and pick a nice car', that's not really what I meant.

18/04/17 8:00:04

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 7317Neil Mackenzie

The Builders attacked Ron's car, but he ran them over. Emergency Services needed a shovel to scrape them off the pavement.

18/04/17 21:16:47

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 2837Kenny Ireland

Is this parked next to Hew Lorry ?

18/04/17 19:39:52

 
larry G. Vote score: 807larry G.

Assembly line air conditioning.

18/04/17 18:28:07

 
Amy L Amy L

The tourist had clearly misheard David Blaine when he asked them to 'pick a card'...

18/04/17 17:33:34

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 2771Pussy Galore

Papa?
NICOLE?!!!!!

18/04/17 15:16:34

 
Pussy Galore Vote score: 2771Pussy Galore

So... has it passed its MOT?

18/04/17 15:15:11

 
GeeDee Vote score: 2062GeeDee

I told you not to call him a Dwarf!

18/04/17 11:37:57

 
John  Glover Vote score: 14676John Glover

"I see that Piere has upset his mistress again."

18/04/17 11:31:08

 
John Llamas Vote score: 17014John Llamas

Pretty ugly or axeymorons?

18/04/17 10:21:59

 
Mr Dome Vote score: 2124Mr Dome

It's a sexual deviant's car - he loves Auto-axefixiation

18/04/17 10:00:35

 
Leroy Brown Vote score: 7129Leroy Brown

...and they would have gotten away with it had Dopey not locked himself in the boot and sleepy not fallen asleep on the backseat.

18/04/17 9:28:49

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1245Jonathan Allsopp

Paying school fees of £150 was bad enough, but picking up Advance to Mayfair was the final straw, said Sharon in court.

18/04/17 9:02:15

 
Jonathan Allsopp Vote score: 1245Jonathan Allsopp

Some people are very picky when it comes to hire cars.

18/04/17 8:27:24

 
sandeep chahal Vote score: 405sandeep chahal

"So, were you able to negotiate on car deal with Apaches"

18/04/17 8:20:26

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 15949Ian Skelding

Picky Lotts car.

18/04/17 8:18:14

 
John Llamas Vote score: 17014John Llamas

Larry was over the moon getting the job at Toolstation ..... not quite so taken with the company car.

18/04/17 8:10:45

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 23168Tony Edwards

Spikefull

18/04/17 8:03:37

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 26675Welsh Rarebit

Is that a Citroen Pick-axe-o?

18/04/17 8:02:37

 
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