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Dan Nicholls Vote score: 9695Dan Nicholls

"Must go babe"
"Why hun?"
"My lips are cold!"
"?"

07/03/18 20:01:06

 
John  Glover Vote score: 17150John Glover

"Mum, I have found your love egg, for some strange reason it was hanging on the door handle inside the boss's office'"

07/03/18 21:25:47

 
Pete  Vote score: 17701Pete

"Hi Julie, I'm here with the cup. Will you be here soon?"

07/03/18 20:29:23

 
Hannah Jones Vote score: 65Hannah Jones

Have a break have a chit chat

09/03/18 17:41:21

 
larry G. Vote score: 999larry G.

Crossword puzzle- Will work for 2 across.

08/03/18 21:46:32

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 30775Welsh Rarebit

Sonia is texting all her mates to tell them that she's about to take part in the Vajazzle Doorstep Challenge.

07/03/18 21:36:25

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 671Dave Bryan

London shop assistant texts her boyfriend the good news: ''They've accepted our offer. We've got the step!''

08/03/18 8:00:24

 
Gavin Smithers Vote score: 149Gavin Smithers

She'd misread his text. It said not "I like feet that are flat under a marble arse", but "I'd like to meet at my flat, number 8, Marble Arch".

08/03/18 0:33:21

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 4579Mr Dome

'Hi Jenny. Yes the dirty bastard won't be shagging around again. I chopped off his willy and have it tucked under my arm'

07/03/18 23:54:15

 
Paul Gledhill Vote score: 174Paul Gledhill

Where is that "homeless begging" app I downloaded.

07/03/18 22:19:33

 
Stephen Paterson Vote score: 3200Stephen Paterson

Can't quite make out her badge.

07/03/18 22:19:07

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 2517Vivvy En

Jane was on the naughty step for committing caption-dupe

07/03/18 21:16:51

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 5155Vanessa the Guesser

Mum, pls pik me ASAP, it stinks here! Paula Radcliffe jst ran past.

07/03/18 21:07:08

 
stone face Vote score: 959stone face

text from boyfriend- How much homework have you got for you to say you can't wait on that cold step for me .Is that your only excuse, the amount of homework?

Girl - But I've got piles .

07/03/18 21:04:57

 
tony kelly Vote score: 1270tony kelly

''Wow. Abrasive cleaners on ebay are on offer. Great!''

07/03/18 21:02:33

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 18528Ian Skelding

come back babe ill tie you up properly this time promise

07/03/18 20:49:20

 
John  Glover Vote score: 17150John Glover

"Hello mum, I'm here at step knee.....

07/03/18 20:48:08

 
John  Glover Vote score: 17150John Glover

Stephanie looked lovingly at the photo of her young son, remembering the handsome young priest who had seduced and impregnated her. That was a year ago, this was now. She did not feel ashamed or abandoned, afterall her mother had got her a job where she worked, so she was able to cope. Enough of memory lane she thought and dropped her cigarette into her unfinished latte, sighed as it sizzled and spat as it extinguished. Better hurry she told herself, my next client is due in five minutes, and switched off the phone, stood up, turned around and went back into the whorehouse.

07/03/18 20:42:54

 1
Copyright Bills & Moon... --Dan Nicholls
Chris Keegan Vote score: 1800Chris Keegan

Gary always took the lead one step at a time

07/03/18 20:25:01

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 5155Vanessa the Guesser

Poor Melissa got a little confused when told to ring the doorbell.

07/03/18 20:16:03

 
John Llamas Vote score: 18746John Llamas

Hayley didn’t really understand her Fitbit app ...... it’s only my third step today ..... how come this says 2147?, she thought.

07/03/18 20:11:25

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 1800Chris Keegan

Poor Sally. She used to be on the street but at least someone gave her a step up

07/03/18 20:08:03

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 9695Dan Nicholls

Chain smoking

07/03/18 20:00:30

 
stone face Vote score: 959stone face

Step sister.

07/03/18 20:00:23

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 30775Welsh Rarebit

Text: It's over Rob, you just keep treating me like a door mat.

07/03/18 20:00:21

 
Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 30775Welsh Rarebit

My step-daughter Janice is always texting.

07/03/18 20:00:08

 
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