"We love being ventriloquist dummies."
"Speak for yourself."

22/06/12 11:28:31

Quick he's coming, clench your buttocks

22/06/12 11:09:09

Hands up if you want them to talk.

22/06/12 11:08:27

Why the long face Tommy?
I can barely sit, he had the divers watch on again last night.

22/06/12 11:24:05

So this is what it's like thinking outside of the box!

22/06/12 11:08:46

"The next act is awful."
"No it's Orville."
"That's what I said ."

22/06/12 11:00:49

"...we've given this seminar to all of the top actors- Keanu Reeves, Roger Moore, Kevin Costner, they all learned from us..."

22/06/12 11:13:04

Ventriloquism For Dummies.

22/06/12 11:00:43

"I wish he could throw his breath as well"

22/06/12 21:20:51

"Are you getting fed up with this Tennis Umpire Course as well?"

22/06/12 16:12:09

"Bottle of beer, bottle of beer."
"It's gottle of geer you idiot."

22/06/12 15:59:48

High Stool Music Hall.

22/06/12 11:08:20

Dummmie and Dumber

22/06/12 11:01:28

Don't mention the saw

22/06/12 15:07:07

"Here comes the arch enema!"

22/06/12 11:42:50

I'm getting wood.

22/06/12 11:02:41

ant and dec were once the nations most loved, now everbody thought their presenting had become abit too `wooden`

29/06/12 13:56:44

"You've got a friend in me."

22/06/12 14:58:03

"This stool's uncomfortable"
"That's his arm you dummy!"

22/06/12 14:28:02

At home with the Milibands

22/06/12 14:04:55

Brothers on Arms

22/06/12 12:26:47

Ant and Decking!

22/06/12 11:14:26

Little Cameron and Clegg were happy to go out on a limb for Obama

22/06/12 11:05:43

Someone's right up their arses.

24/06/12 8:32:34

If Michael Jackson is sitting here, who is in the box?

23/06/12 0:44:52

Woody and Allan.

22/06/12 21:12:28

Andy and Dextrous.

22/06/12 16:41:20

Piles is nothing when compared to woodworm in the arse.

22/06/12 16:28:17

Virgil and Scott go undercover to try and catch the Hood.

22/06/12 16:27:34

A right pair of Dummy Tits

22/06/12 15:45:16

"Here comes Everard and his bloody sovereign rings."

22/06/12 15:35:36

Frank Skinner "I'm feeling wooden"
Edwina Currie "Hold tight son I'm getting on - It's been a while"

22/06/12 14:25:55

"I'm excited. Lady Gaga's coming tonight and she likes sucking dummies."

22/06/12 13:57:44

"We're having duck for tea tonight."

"Why, is it a special occasion?"

"Yes, Keith Harris has gone away for the weekend."

22/06/12 13:55:07

Only the shirts gave away which was Cameron and which was Miliband.

22/06/12 13:52:12

"I didn't realise I was a ventroquilist's dummy, I just thought I needed a regular prostate examination."

22/06/12 13:51:48

Dummy & Dummier

22/06/12 13:49:05

I hate his ring finger

22/06/12 13:21:03

Last time I went on stage I got the clap.

22/06/12 13:18:28

Edward Woodwood's sons start their careers in showbusiness

22/06/12 13:01:55

"I suppose I'll need an Equity Card now!"

22/06/12 12:45:15

Ooh boys, treeky boys.

22/06/12 12:26:28

"Two little wood-peckers sitting on a stool".....

22/06/12 12:25:15

Ron and Seal

22/06/12 12:13:08

"So I see you've finally gone and flipped your lid!"

22/06/12 11:46:12

Haemorrhoidal Scream!

22/06/12 11:44:08

What did that bird say when you took out last night? Cock of wood 'll do!

22/06/12 11:38:14

I don't know what's worse, being in a dark box for a week or having that guy's hand up my arse?

22/06/12 11:37:25

We're not saying anything until they get here

22/06/12 11:35:09

Jedward ... 2032 still trying to win the Eurovision.

22/06/12 11:34:30