I came across this photo before, oh well I'm sure I'll come across it again.

30/05/21 16:46:20

creative

So my jealous ex is a pilot and I'm pretty sure he's following me.

08/05/21 16:44:20

the dogs bollocks

11/07/21 23:31:21

I mean i heard in America they're food portions are huge compared to the UK but I wasn't expecting this it does make sense why they all have pickups though.

29/06/21 15:42:10

Ok now I'm starting to get cold feet.

24/05/21 9:35:34

Don't Panic use a towel.

04/04/21 14:33:06

Bet you don't have one of these Putin.

Mon 9:55:25

Oh that's why everyone loves Ronaldo.

22/06/21 20:33:11

Ok I admit it Goldilocks didn't even enter your house it was me.

23/05/21 21:39:54

Dangerous to attempt cartwheels in this area.

06/07/21 0:47:52

That doesn't count as a mask Dave, Better split.

04/07/21 22:03:40

I don't think oscar pistorius should be allowed a pet after what he did.

30/06/21 17:02:38

And if you learn all of this you can end up like me, teaching fuckwits like yourselves.

22/06/21 20:31:13

Yay! What do I get ?

Herpes sir.

08/06/21 13:56:11

The funny thing is that the ride was stationary when the photo was taken but bill was drunk again.

06/06/21 18:05:55

Mashed my van.

24/05/21 16:07:00

He went that way officer.

23/05/21 3:18:00

Chicken Run

17/05/21 0:48:24

Conga-roo

16/05/21 18:21:01

World record attempt eat 36 scorpions in under 2 minutes.

15/05/21 2:12:32

Turns out I didn't need to pick my sister up from the airport after all.

08/05/21 16:35:34

The strange thing is I don't own a cat.

08/05/21 10:31:32

I know kids have a lot of pressure on them nowadays, but 300 lbs is taking the piss.

29/04/21 20:26:03

Couldn't pass covid to each other if they tried. one social distancing from the ceiling and the other from the floor.

19/04/21 0:25:41

They say money can't buy happiness, how wrong were they.

13/03/21 3:02:22

I identify as a stop sign.

Tue 15:07:16

Alternative ending to prison break.

Mon 9:43:08

I bet buyers fall head over heels for this house.

16/07/21 23:25:40

After many years of wondering what happened to Clifford the big red dog.

14/07/21 12:37:45

This bitch gone an stole my dang fish mom come & reck this hoe.

06/07/21 13:05:57

Someone that actually, just got off the Banana boat.

04/07/21 22:19:39

Hamster Ball

04/07/21 21:52:28

This is the result of a wife putting her husband on a diet when he's not ready too, They go bananas.

04/07/21 21:46:10

You must be Barking mad if you think I'm serving you, you're both clearly only about 13.

30/06/21 16:15:33

The signed clearly states no naked dog's he's fine he's covered.

29/06/21 19:35:19

How's the weather down there ?

How about I punch you in the balls so you can find out for yourself ?

28/06/21 12:13:16

Bruises adds character
so who's first ?

21/06/21 18:38:54

Like me now Megan ?

21/06/21 15:07:28

Get the fuck off me crack head baby spice.

08/06/21 18:48:33

Oh shit... please tell me that camera is not recording?

Of course it is silly, we're live.

Dang it my wife is gunna kill my ass :(

08/06/21 18:46:17

Grandma: Hey Tammy I guessed you were out here hoeing yourself.

08/06/21 18:35:47

Put those fun bags away or I'll get mine out and send this whole dam park dark.

08/06/21 13:47:04

Caution: may be picked up by a giant sea monster's hand if attempting to sail.

07/06/21 14:02:17

You've got to kiss a few toads before marrying your Prince.

06/06/21 17:59:41

There's always some bitch at the bar.

06/06/21 16:47:04

Apparently bill gates is richer than gravity,
I think that's rubbish.

06/06/21 11:47:56

The Mashreks

01/06/21 11:59:55

People will go to any lengths to get thier hands on them Fox's Glacier Mints.

24/05/21 9:18:46

This is when Karen knew....
She fucked up.

23/05/21 21:17:05

Come on you've got wings,
There's crow need for that.

23/05/21 3:24:27

Jack-Para

19/05/21 15:45:29

Look! Dad their wrestling like you do with mummy.

16/05/21 16:13:20

isn't that our waitress, from the restaurant we just went to.

16/05/21 1:40:00

I bet she's been rode more times than our bikes Margot.

16/05/21 1:06:40

The statues are finally getting their own back.

13/05/21 2:16:20

Me attempting to get out of bed everyday.

12/05/21 8:35:05

Alexa Do pigeons have teeth ?

10/05/21 16:15:41

Taking the dogs for a walk.

10/05/21 16:05:21

the stupid humans walked in two by two hurrah hurrah.

10/05/21 15:38:25

See you later alligator.

10/05/21 15:07:22

Show us your cum face

07/05/21 16:38:30

Fix bridge like da Russians break back window climbe in drink any vodka bottles in sight then head for exit door welcome to Russia.

06/05/21 15:09:33

I've got 20/1 odds Tony gets kicked in the bollox.

06/05/21 1:16:54

The numbers on the shirts represent how many times they've refused to eat.

29/04/21 20:06:33

Who wouldn't be stressed working for a guy you've never seen but apparently is everywhere at all times and watching you.

27/04/21 19:34:53

That's not my dad.....

25/04/21 1:45:20

Well clearly none of them have eyes bigger than their bellies.

19/04/21 0:52:13

Slower

12/04/21 12:00:55

Your welcome and where should we send your bill ?

11/04/21 20:16:15

Hi.... John your wife's Dead.
And..... I think we may have probably deffently ate her.

06/04/21 23:48:44

Man carries a 5 year old pyicopath away after she induced a riot after Boris Johnson force schools to open there doors.

30/03/21 10:35:31

Once lockdown was finally lifted in 2050 all the covidiots were dead

29/03/21 15:34:58

tats for twats

26/03/21 15:04:04

The queen Jumps for join after realising Meghan will not be returning to the Buckingham palace.

25/03/21 16:03:04

Leave me alone mum I'm just making my bed again.

13/03/21 3:05:39

Vin Diesel: IT NEEDS TO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THIS.

Tattooist: its ok man don't worry relax I'm so good
at freehand.
Vin Diesel: ok cool so how long you been doing this ?

Tattooist: oh this is my first day I learned from
YouTube Videos

Voice Over: THIS IS WHEN VIN DIESEL KNEW HE FUCKED
UP.

08/03/21 16:04:45

Frog off

06/03/21 20:42:33

Well That's a shame what if you're only goal in life is to molest alligators.

Tue 15:06:29

More like Mary unhinged.

Mon 21:17:54

We've had reports you've been goosing around.

Mon 21:16:10

Skirts are getting shorter nowadays you can literally see what they last ate.

Mon 10:05:51

So this is What happens when you mix the recycling with the mane.

Mon 10:01:04

Camera Hog

Mon 9:48:43

Not the first time a Bird has gave me the cold shoulder.

Mon 9:41:38

I'm being tailed.

Sat 12:04:26

Van Elsa

19/07/21 17:07:04

Mom????

What now??

Nothing love you.

19/07/21 17:05:46

Let me take this one Dave I've still got 9 lives.

19/07/21 17:03:37

Don't know why you're smiling John, if you keep boring the customers to death we'll be out of business and you'll be back on the football pitch.

18/07/21 15:26:17

Careful, you don't want your face to get frozen like that.

18/07/21 15:12:47

Let's see uncle John try to climb in my tent tonight.

18/07/21 15:07:04

No dogging in the park.

16/07/21 23:28:19

I've bearley drank since lockdown.

14/07/21 12:35:53

Surf's up

14/07/21 12:30:56

Just going to Powder my beak.

14/07/21 12:29:39

Clearly didn't read the sign she's running.

11/07/21 23:40:46

So some Segal's do have teeth ?

11/07/21 23:37:16

So you don't want the car in the pool ?

No I asked if you carpool to work.

11/07/21 23:35:45

Message for Harry Potter

11/07/21 16:57:45

Madonna promised me she wouldn't treat me different she lied.

06/07/21 15:53:32

I love feet

06/07/21 13:01:16

Such a cute bacon sandwich 🥪

05/07/21 15:05:27

Brothers racing: Winner gets the girl unfortunately in typical redneck fashion the girl happens to be their sister.

04/07/21 22:15:57

Estate agent: how would you describe your house to potential buyers ?

Seller: Dashing

04/07/21 21:58:43

I don't see anything strange here, I guess I'm used to seeing big birds in McDonald's

04/07/21 18:23:44

Light shower

04/07/21 18:16:59

And I won't be paying

04/07/21 18:06:15

I'd go ape shit if he brought my dog back with a leg missing.

04/07/21 18:00:06

meth heads, are you ready ?

04/07/21 17:53:52

Best place for malt loaf

04/07/21 14:01:22

Joey from friends: nope got yours too

04/07/21 13:57:44

Drunk & Furious

04/07/21 13:41:50

And still can't pick up channel 5

04/07/21 13:36:56

Meow

04/07/21 13:33:09

When you're peckish pick up a penguin.

01/07/21 20:27:59

Oh Paul McCartney's ex wife has a new cat.

30/06/21 16:43:12

My cat came hoping into the room and then once I had got up he legged it.

30/06/21 15:57:31

Cop: Please don't make this about race sir.

Driver: no officer it's about my race.

29/06/21 21:27:51

I'm a butcher I'll chop your cock off for $1

29/06/21 15:48:30

Herbie let me go right now.

28/06/21 23:36:31

Woody yes ken when should we tell Barbie about us

28/06/21 15:08:19

Wife: why aren't you home yet?

Husband: sorry love there's a cat blocking the
road.

Wife: oh really ? so your telling me pussy is
holding you up from coming home to your
family.

Husband: yes love.

Wife: well enjoy playing with that pussy because
your belongings will be outside when you get
Home.

Husband:oh I couldn't play with this pussy love it
would probably kill me.

Wife: I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

Wife Ends phonecall:

Husband: Love ? Hello ? Oh shit no I didn't
mean.....

28/06/21 13:04:51

priest seeks quireboys for oral entertainment.

28/06/21 12:26:31

All the better to sit on you with.

28/06/21 12:16:37

Who let the dog's out.

28/06/21 12:10:02

May contain Aid's

28/06/21 12:08:48

Status update:

Locked myself out of the church.
God give me strength, to knock this door down

28/06/21 12:07:17

This is what happens when you let people identify as what ever they like.

24/06/21 14:26:39

Breaking News:
Japanese oompa lumpa steals New York.

24/06/21 14:19:50

Footballers Suck

23/06/21 0:20:32

Hand ball !!!

23/06/21 0:18:53

Can't knock Renaldo for his ball control.

23/06/21 0:16:26

Ben gal over your train set and get a life...

22/06/21 22:25:33

😭😭 when she realises he sold it to her dad the night before.

22/06/21 22:04:30

Dad where's Johnny ?

He Slipped.

21/06/21 1:08:49

Kids get steroids and you can look like this cxxt.

21/06/21 1:05:03

I'm in the dog house, but it's better than my owners house, it stinks of piss in there and my neighbours well they're barking mad.

21/06/21 1:03:24

I seal of the penguins

21/06/21 0:53:01

is that Katie price on the back of Katie price ?

21/06/21 0:37:07

She didn't moan once

21/06/21 0:36:01

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack off

08/06/21 18:54:02

Sean the sheep was feeling very thirsty after he was shagged by half of Wales.

08/06/21 13:49:49

Me: For duck sake I've crashed the van.

My wife: are you injured ?

Me: I've got a fat lip but otherwise I'm fine.

My wife: I'm surprised it wasn't worse.

Me: yeah guess it could have been.

My wife: fancy a takeout tonight ?

Me: well it's funny you say that I'm thinking Chinese ?.

My wife: perfect is that not out the way for you tho?

Me: oh not at all love plus they have got a new drive through.

07/06/21 13:49:10

Google searches
hack to clean your ass without toilet papper

06/06/21 18:46:59

Man dressed as spider man falls from building in apparent stunt gone wrong.

06/06/21 17:56:20

adam lean-vine

06/06/21 17:48:55

He's buried that bone well.

06/06/21 17:43:58

Elton Kong

06/06/21 16:50:10

I mean trump's an old fart but biden's a pido.

06/06/21 16:42:05

cut-out presidents and lets get some real work done.

06/06/21 16:30:47

Humans are like peacocks always seeking attention.

01/06/21 13:07:30

Run 4 your life.

01/06/21 12:02:15

This will be the sign Logan Paul is looking for after the fight he'll be needing it to phone for ambulance to take away his arrogant self entitled ugly ass.

31/05/21 19:27:33

Mum ?

31/05/21 18:14:48

Dad: Look son this is what happens when you refuse to eat fruit.

Son: with tears in his eyes,
Ok dad I'll have a banana.

31/05/21 15:07:46

When covid started they took away everyone's nan so we couldn't hug them.

31/05/21 15:03:13

I clearly didn't make it as that's my blood under the sign.

31/05/21 12:48:59

Tom don't look now, but Garfield is trying it on with your misses.

31/05/21 12:16:08

unfortunately 1 in 3 bananas are a lot more bruised than they appear to be, we really should keep our eyes peeled.

31/05/21 1:24:20

Oh she lets me have the back end in our divorce but never did in throughout our marriage (bitch)

30/05/21 16:39:54

When It said these paints were tested on animals, I had a completely different picture.

30/05/21 2:01:10

Have some more cocaine sister the lord may just sniff us straight up to heaven.

30/05/21 1:55:44

Bloddy hell, gay dolphins there'll be claiming There's more than two genders next....

30/05/21 1:51:25

Dog: oh yes!! I'd give her a bone.

30/05/21 1:46:55

It's just a farmer moving a pair of cows.

30/05/21 1:43:27

omg, just look at his hare.

30/05/21 1:40:18

Sports cars gets chicks.

30/05/21 1:33:05

Well aren't your medals just lovely.

30/05/21 1:30:21

Husband: Hello my love,
You know how I canceled them swimming lessons you booked for us that I said was a waist of money because we live in the desert ?

Wife:I do yeah ?

Husband: sorry i was wrong again.

Wife: why do you do this to me ?I'm on my way, wait there !!

Husband: I can't i'm floating away now.

Wife: Hell No!! He ain't leaving me that easy im'a get a boat and fish his ass out if I have too.

30/05/21 1:22:28

Van crashes after a car-jacket

24/05/21 15:56:51

Two steps closer to proving bigfoot's existence.

23/05/21 21:53:36

As the lockdown rules are lifted you can now have friends around for dinner.

23/05/21 21:48:58

alternative ending to the jungle book.

23/05/21 21:45:24

kanga-move bitch get out da way.

23/05/21 21:24:41

Wow we didn't realise you had mouse trap let's play.

23/05/21 21:22:26

3 low level drug dealers were jailed today named left to right are Ron Weedy, Harry Shotta, and Hermione Ganja it is reported they were working for a drug lord named dumble-draw they were arrested after reports of suspitous behaviour close to diagon alley and was in possession of drugs at the time of the arrest which weighed approximately 9 and 3/4.

23/05/21 21:14:15

It's not worth it bear-lieve me.

23/05/21 20:51:14

Ron: Harry I think i'm tripping, I swear I just saw a dog with 3 heads walk past the window.

23/05/21 3:37:33

Harry Pot-ter

23/05/21 3:31:18

Harry Shotta

23/05/21 3:12:24

Sponge bob is in floods of tears today, after patrick is run over by a vehicle carrying captioners who were reported as rushing to to get to the next photo.

20/05/21 17:19:05

A Caddy with a great memory.

20/05/21 17:10:16

Birds are binge drinking a lot younger now, that much so that the glass is taller than they are.

19/05/21 15:53:33

This is why they shouldn't have eaten all of the cats.

19/05/21 15:49:05

This school is

18/05/21 13:17:18

Are you planning on breast feeding ?

18/05/21 9:03:27

shrek & donkey's road trip.

17/05/21 19:14:50

How much did this cost you Mike?
A Pony.

17/05/21 19:10:31

Come on I'm late for work, Get out the ducking way you mother ducking ducktard.

17/05/21 19:06:51

Hay Neigh-bour

17/05/21 14:50:15

Kicker, fuxxing cannibal!!

16/05/21 21:07:21

I feel blue.

16/05/21 16:04:43

Customer Review

Johnny. I Can't wait to cum here again.

16/05/21 1:20:13

That's put me right off my cornetto Margot.

16/05/21 0:56:57

NEWS JUST IN
it has been reported that, People have taken to the streets to pull down 5G masts while other residents interviewed in the area have reported this as "BULL"

14/05/21 14:30:26

I'm busy, CROC OFF!

14/05/21 14:14:42

Thank fuck for social distancing.

14/05/21 14:08:32

OMG Please do not let him lay his, greasy, sweaty, hamburger hands upon my self entitled #insta-bod.

14/05/21 14:04:00

A pool party is no good without pussy.

13/05/21 14:50:13

I can't swim Margot.
Oh Paw You

13/05/21 12:47:32