Don't Panic use a towel.

04/04/21 14:33:06

They say money can't buy happiness, how wrong were they.

13/03/21 3:02:22

Slower

12/04/21 12:00:55

Your welcome and where should we send your bill ?

11/04/21 20:16:15

Hi.... John your wife's Dead.
And..... I think we may have probably deffently ate her.

06/04/21 23:48:44

Man carries a 5 year old pyicopath away after she induced a riot after Boris Johnson force schools to open there doors.

30/03/21 10:35:31

Once lockdown was finally lifted in 2050 all the covidiots were dead

29/03/21 15:34:58

tats for twats

26/03/21 15:04:04

The queen Jumps for join after realising Meghan will not be returning to the Buckingham palace.

25/03/21 16:03:04

Leave me alone mum I'm just making my bed again.

13/03/21 3:05:39

Vin Diesel: IT NEEDS TO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THIS.

Tattooist: its ok man don't worry relax I'm so good
at freehand.
Vin Diesel: ok cool so how long you been doing this ?

Tattooist: oh this is my first day I learned from
YouTube Videos

Voice Over: THIS IS WHEN VIN DIESEL KNEW HE FUCKED
UP.

08/03/21 16:04:45

Frog off

06/03/21 20:42:33

Thats how you catch crabs.

Thu 0:57:40

What should I feed it ?

13/04/21 1:09:35

Harder!
Oh you like it rough ?
Yeah brake my fucking shell.

12/04/21 19:45:15

The Queens final words to Prince Phillip.

11/04/21 20:02:34

News just in.... Driver eats another driver in road rage incident.

11/04/21 19:52:50

Footballs cumming....oh

11/04/21 19:49:44

Thats a big old back end.

11/04/21 14:04:03

Sums up life.

11/04/21 14:01:58

The boss isn't gonna be happy with you mate.
I know I'm Bricking it.

11/04/21 2:40:04

Lamphard was good sticking it in the back of the net.

11/04/21 2:34:28

Don't Sea-gals

11/04/21 2:23:52

Swipes left too young for me.

11/04/21 2:21:06

Quit horsing around making captions Ryan, And get a god dam job!

11/04/21 2:18:27

Oh Deer

07/04/21 12:07:21

Kellogg's their SHITE!!!

07/04/21 12:02:06

As soon as this photo is taken, I'm punching this cocky cunt in the gut.

07/04/21 0:01:35

Snowdrift

06/04/21 23:58:54

sNOw more please iced had enough.

06/04/21 23:56:10

I've changed my mind Karen,
Your a cunt.

05/04/21 15:06:44

So any plans for the weekend Dave?

05/04/21 0:37:25

Not another one!

04/04/21 14:30:55

if I stay here you'll have to break souical distancing in order to get them in which I shall tell Boris Johnson and you'll receive a fine of upto a £1000 for five shitty little eggs is it really worth it?

04/04/21 1:49:53

Now this is how we should deal with covidiots, All Agreed ?
"Hear Hear!"

04/04/21 1:44:52

Drugs trade thriving, after deliveroo jump on bored handling deliverys.

04/04/21 1:39:04

Look what happend to the last guy that cheated on me.

Swipes left.

01/04/21 2:17:04

"YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE"

"but...... this is my house dude"

01/04/21 2:15:01

The shop was rammed.

01/04/21 2:07:18

Spaghetti Ratognese

30/03/21 12:03:11

Except Karen, all she needs is a fucking exorcist.

30/03/21 0:31:29

retard gets rammed

30/03/21 0:13:16

Toilet brush for sale

29/03/21 14:42:34

News just in snowman mowed down.

29/03/21 3:25:52

Dear Karen we are writing to inform you that you are wrong.

29/03/21 3:23:54

One glass a day keeps the flees away

28/03/21 15:13:50

mowangel

28/03/21 2:26:08

the dog just legged it.

26/03/21 1:33:28

for fuck sake I can't find my other shoe babe.
Alright but no need to get craby about it.

25/03/21 18:00:58

Drunk Dave returns home with what he thought was our cat.

25/03/21 16:12:55

One time at band camp, I went down on a trumbone

25/03/21 15:53:47

I don't

25/03/21 15:07:45

And just a quick flash.

24/03/21 13:01:04

Susann the reporter clearly interested more on the free samples of cakes on offer in the background she hasn't even noticed the fucking giant next to her.

24/03/21 2:02:21

Welcome to Bralington

22/03/21 12:28:18

Camping in the 1940's was very much different than today.

22/03/21 12:22:38

Dear dog god please stop nextdoors cat shitting in my garden or slow him down so I can bite him Adogs

14/03/21 4:17:41

Simon cowell's dad confirm as new judge on Britain's got talent.

14/03/21 4:11:55

if you can't play with yourself who can you play with ?

14/03/21 4:07:29

Cover up

13/03/21 3:16:29

Prince Harry attempting to climb into himself in a bid to escape his wife Meghan markle.

12/03/21 7:38:19

prison workshop allowing prisoners to grow artify and distribute their very own prison grown potatoes. piers morgan commented very negatively to this type of workshop and the prisoners are now threatening piers saying they will
"mash him up"

11/03/21 3:01:19

Next time I see him Gerry, im gunna teach that boy a dang lesson You see if I don't.

11/03/21 2:40:42

I've lost the ring oh never mind found it, it was in the bottom.

10/03/21 8:40:45

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy got pissed on,
So this little fucker got stunned.

10/03/21 8:24:58

my wife is diabetic she dies today.

08/03/21 16:49:40

MUM: we need to get a baby bag
DAD: challenge accepted

08/03/21 16:22:31

Ready to Quit?
OBVIOUSLY NOT.

08/03/21 16:10:13

This is how new girlfriends should come, if they've ever cheated in their past relationships.

07/03/21 1:39:46

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
WALLOP.

05/03/21 21:36:39

Mona Corona

05/03/21 18:01:41

Look mum I've stolen an elephant

05/03/21 17:58:20