creative

"Oh, that's better. I kneaded that."

03/07/21 20:36:21

lol

"Do you mind...? I work nights, you know."

28/02/19 20:54:27

"Why are you upset...? I said 'I'd give you a ring from Cartier'."

03/09/19 13:31:20

clever x4

Dave, a budding photographer, really hoped the bird would fly off so he could take a better shot

11/06/18 20:39:08

"See THAT...? THAT is how you do a French manicure."

11/08/20 12:32:31

Purrverts

07/07/20 12:06:54

One of my rasher purchases

01/09/18 8:23:17

Clearly they have some very bright pupils

30/08/18 20:25:06

creative

"So tell me again. You bought a six inch strip of land and..."

16/07/21 12:23:16

Fried and gone to heaven

27/08/18 12:16:33

lol

"Mum... The dog's eaten all the cheese and pineapple

01/04/17 8:22:41

He's going to need a bigger newspaper

19/06/22 8:03:33

lol

"Dave, just give me back the salmon and we'll say no more about it"

23/05/21 8:41:39

Synchronised swarming

18/10/20 8:45:30

"Would you do us a favour and fetch my stick?"

20/07/20 8:25:19

lol

I can't see the point of these

08/09/18 20:04:05

"Where did you get all your bling from?"
"Mumbai."
"Oh, that's very generous of her."

04/11/20 15:06:08

Culture shock

30/05/20 20:49:04

clever

The plight of the bumblebee

25/01/22 8:00:50

"I'll have to go, I'm out of lolly."

05/12/21 8:05:07

"Here's some cream for it."

25/06/21 20:03:42

lol

"You really should see a vet about that conjunctivitis."

20/04/21 14:08:41

"Who lives there?"
"A stuck up cow."

16/02/21 20:00:25

Game over

26/10/20 20:01:19

lol

Dave's action shot was ruined by a bunch of dorks

01/04/20 8:16:50

I know the name but I don't recognize their faeces

07/04/19 20:13:06

creative

🎵 Sisters are doing it for their selfies 🎵

27/08/18 20:09:05

"Anyone ready for craps in the lounge?"

22/08/18 8:33:16

lol

Dave's dad hadn't quite grasped the rudiments of 'Spin The Bottle'.

18/01/17 20:08:11

'Fetch!? In these heels? You must be kidding.'

Thu 20:17:07

lol x2

Raj let out the biggest fart imaginable. It caused quite a stir.

06/12/21 20:36:29

Euston, we have a problem

14/11/21 8:47:42

"Sesame Street? Hmm, take the third left then it's first on your right."

24/07/21 8:04:45

A prime example of why single-use plastic drinking straws were banned.

09/07/21 8:16:11

"...and where did you grow up?"
"Oldham, Sir."
"Oh, don't mind if one does."

27/05/21 20:34:51

🎵 Always look on the bright cider life

13/01/21 20:23:51

How to scare the crap out of a woodpecker.

29/10/20 20:49:55

"Dinner's on me..."

12/09/20 20:22:44

'Wish I'd never taught them how to play games on their phones'

29/05/20 12:12:51

He's become part of the furniture...

08/07/19 20:14:31

lol

"Love, you sure that new washing powder is colour-safe?"

16/06/19 20:39:27

For the fashion-conscious deep sea diva

02/03/19 10:17:32

"Well, I've had Stella, Brandy, Margarita, Sherry, Shandy, Chardonnay, Tia and Maria. I s'pose I must've asked for it."

19/01/19 14:14:59

A fishful of dollars

28/12/18 12:08:51

"I tried lifting a mini once - I got slapped across my face"

07/12/18 13:35:03

clever

Sagittarius: You're feeling a strong urge to share your load but be careful or your hard work may go down the pan. Today's lucky number: 2.

05/09/17 9:11:00

"OMG! The snow plough's coming!"

06/12/16 8:08:11

No, I would NOT like the matching trousers.

Sat 8:47:07

Haircutting: In Three Easy Steps

18/06/22 8:13:24

It was an unfortunate way to find out her mother had a prosthetic arm.

18/01/22 20:39:06

"Is there a deluxe version with a tongue?"
(Asking for a friend)

03/11/21 12:39:41

Baby on board

20/10/21 12:00:22

clever

"No comment"

02/10/21 15:03:22

"Yes, I can see the problem with your roof. We can certainly cure that."

13/09/21 12:33:38

They are desperate for a leek
(Nod to 12.07.09)

25/06/21 12:13:42

"Bill, make sure you get a good photo of us."

06/06/21 8:38:57

"Listen, can I call you back later? I'm up to my neck in it here."

28/05/21 20:01:03

lol

"Stop moaning, Dave, I carried her for 9 months. It's only another mile or so."

18/03/21 12:07:39

'Hmmm, got the leotard sorted. Now to choose a workout DVD...'

15/12/20 8:49:44

He knows all the short cuts

13/09/19 20:43:39

clever

Mystery tour

04/07/19 8:32:22

"Oh Officer, am I in hot water?"

29/06/19 20:56:00

clever

"I'm just going out for a quick spin"

06/03/19 8:22:17

creative

"Ah, Saturday morning. I fancy a fly-up."

12/11/16 8:37:22

clever

Synchronised trimming

22/11/20 21:13:13

Leaning Tower of Pisser

15/11/20 8:26:49

"Yep, send me 500 litres, that's correct. I have an interesting client wants to go Ash Blonde."

24/07/20 8:30:24

A police cover-up.

06/07/20 8:41:28

"So that's it then, we're in a stable relationship?"

30/05/20 8:00:48

Game Rover

01/05/20 20:19:22

"Dave, when I said 'Bring a chick to the party'..."

28/03/20 8:23:23

Ergh! Get an alley...

22/03/20 20:08:57

"No ketchup, thanks"

22/02/20 18:34:09

Grounded hog day

13/12/19 20:28:02

lol

"...and so I said 'OK princess...but look...no tongues'"

06/09/19 10:36:50

-"He looks a bit rough today."
-"Yeah, he went out last night."

30/05/19 8:32:49

"I'm sorry but I'm out at the moment, please leave a message"

08/05/19 8:10:57

Holy cow!

12/01/19 20:07:58

"What a rubbish fancy dress party... there's no atmosphere."

24/10/18 20:23:09

Mr Hubbard loved surprising his wife

12/09/18 8:13:52

Beef encounter

22/07/18 9:58:23

creative x2

Young Akito here, was 7 yrs old when he set off with his pet to Show and Tell. The Truancy Officer has been informed.

22/02/18 8:58:04

A pecker on the cheek

07/01/18 13:21:24

"It looks like the printers are on strike again, dear"

17/08/17 8:46:38

"I need my tablets, Dave. They're in the brown case or the black bag or possibly the big trunk."

28/12/21 20:17:51

Thing was a huge Beatles fan

14/12/21 8:21:18

Young Dave grew up to become a fireman.

09/12/21 14:21:22

Dave had the pick of the litter

23/11/21 8:24:32

"I thought we'd agreed we weren't doing f**king presents this year!"

28/09/21 8:08:33

lol

"You're not quite selling it, Nigella. Can you lick your finger or something?"

18/07/21 9:07:38

"Okay, let's see that mad cow boil this one."

29/05/21 8:13:05

A Tale of Two Shitters

17/01/21 9:52:25

New Kids on the Blocks

16/12/20 20:25:38

"This year's a bumper crop

10/10/20 20:15:35

He has a gamboling addiction

10/09/20 20:08:56

Recipient: Mumndad@btinternet.com

I've filled it again.

ps: Bring air freshener.

XX

02/09/20 8:42:14

"Love, your dinner's on the hob"

30/06/20 12:32:02