"I warned you that smoking stunts your growth!"

18/06/19 15:02:31

lol

"Damn! I thought it was sugar cubes, not Sweet n' Low."

07/08/19 15:37:20

lol

"That last pigeon was very tasty... Do I have room for one more?"

24/09/16 0:01:25

lol

"Relax, I'm just wiping my lipstick off."

21/09/16 8:17:45

Orange is the new greens.

30/05/19 20:42:03

"you should see the mosquito!"

19/01/16 0:43:41

"Do you mind if we piggyback? I need a ride."

16/06/19 14:18:09

"Too dressy?"

25/08/18 18:07:39

After a few cocktail Jimmy does his sit-ups standing up.

29/08/17 15:44:24

Captains last words in book were - water-logged.

12/04/17 17:44:30

Dog day afternoon.

20/03/16 21:03:10

"These used to be my breast implants."

21/06/19 20:23:03

"Damn pigeons!"

09/06/19 16:02:58

Atmosphere people for a Woody Allen movie.

09/09/17 22:43:34

In Trump we don't.

07/01/17 8:56:04

"Will work for carrots."

15/08/16 20:15:31

"If you can correctly identify this smell you will be free to go."

10/01/16 20:11:06

Most good citizens just leave a note.

17/11/15 20:15:01

"According to this...I'm dead!"

25/10/15 20:26:41

"Flush it dammit -I'm going blind!"

19/09/15 8:08:11

Showing their shortcomings.

11/09/19 12:24:12

clever

And fossil fuel.

08/08/19 20:01:17

"My parents were both gorillas, but these damn cigarettes stunted my growth."

09/07/19 14:58:22

"I'm leaving you-I found someone who owns his own aquarium."

09/06/19 16:00:35

"We specialize in backyard barbeques."

10/03/19 18:19:06

Damn this pavement is hot!

12/06/18 20:27:22

Sandal mops are now sweeping the nation.

18/04/17 20:01:29

"That was some good weed- now where did you park the car?"

23/09/16 8:59:49

"My parents never had the convenience of road kill."

20/09/16 9:21:08

lol

Silver back feeding time.

08/06/16 20:24:02

"Why is daddy kissing uncle Billy?"

25/03/16 6:45:17

This location is for 'The Birds.'

22/03/16 0:16:55

Son of a bitch.

12/12/15 8:19:57

Dogwood.

09/03/20 21:28:59

Lipstick melted in my purse.

11/01/20 3:25:18

"Where the hell did I leave my kids?"

03/01/20 19:10:33

"i'm a single mom with great abs."

12/12/19 0:58:31

Anybody have change for a dollar?

01/12/19 15:12:52

"Sara, Cover your legs, we're in France."

05/09/19 21:13:02

clever

"I'll be tagging along for a while kitty. We're in a no-fly zone."

02/09/19 17:05:28

Breakfast rolls.

17/08/19 20:22:41

"Loose change anybody?"

30/07/19 16:29:13

Aunt hill.

14/06/19 17:02:32

Dummies on display.

05/06/19 17:24:31

"The kitchen staff scraped this off the floor just for you!"

06/05/19 15:30:08

"I slept like a rock."

16/02/19 20:07:28

...and the Russians give him a 9.5 for difficulty on the uneven bars.

27/08/18 5:41:46

"The judges want to see my urine specimen."

06/07/18 20:51:38

Ex-husband says its false advertising.

11/02/18 17:52:30

lol

Palm reader.

30/08/17 22:43:46

"Concentrate, concentrate, how do I make a margarita?"

29/08/17 17:02:39

"Keep looking- I need that other shoe."

08/07/17 18:26:12

lol

"Can you hear me now!"

06/09/16 21:08:03

Results of washing car in hot water.- shrinkage.

09/04/16 16:40:47

Pullets.

01/04/16 9:52:53

"I just can't seem to hit the high notes."

05/01/16 0:56:10

After 10 years of being a prison bitch.

11/11/15 22:50:30

First annual nail drying competition. circa 1932

05/10/15 3:01:43

""Let's hope harpooning is prohibited."

02/10/15 20:37:59

"I can't read that shit- take me for a walk."

09/05/20 15:34:31

Boys in the hoodies.

26/02/20 0:14:23

"Not my size or smell."

05/01/20 16:37:38

The In-laws are here.

20/11/19 19:46:36

Dead man smoking.

12/09/19 21:32:16

"Please make the cat disappear."

06/09/19 20:43:21

"I raised my hand first Coach-I know the answer."

30/08/19 22:06:50

Harpo Marx at Studio 54.

12/08/19 15:37:20

"Tacos for everyone!"

07/07/19 17:24:38

"Your prostate feels fine."

22/06/19 9:06:55

Steak Tar Tar.

20/06/19 20:31:50

"Honey, some creep with a headache is trailing me."

09/06/19 20:23:05

"Oh no, I can't believe I just bought another checkered shirt."

09/06/19 16:09:06

Open season on butterflies.

01/06/19 20:58:21

"Wow, mommy! Just like E.T."

01/06/19 17:29:02

Reading Sand Scripts.

17/05/19 15:01:20

Loo with a view.

11/05/19 23:23:36

Jack Benny Calculating his taxi ride tip.

15/03/19 2:44:35

Sports Illustrated swimwear model"”Moscow edition.

11/03/19 21:51:04

Rudolfs half ass brother.

09/01/19 18:11:11

"OK, OK, I won't ask for your number again."

04/10/18 17:58:32

Flight attendants inflight instructions on Virgin airlines.

07/06/18 0:32:55

"Can't get that bitter taste of defeat out of my mouth."

15/04/18 17:11:09

Freeze frame.

04/04/18 15:32:31

Skinheads.

20/01/18 18:11:43

Twin peeks.

30/11/17 20:50:30

"I wish I knew where I hid my Ray-Bans."

13/08/17 22:23:49

Not a good relationship - he's just stringing her along.

04/07/17 18:54:34

"I don't kiss on the first date."

29/06/17 2:04:42

"And to think my parents said I wouldn't amount to anything-seriously what were they thinking?"

22/05/17 21:38:45

Flexible housing.

05/05/17 0:45:09

Volunteer greeter at United Airlines.

27/04/17 5:10:52

Paul Revere and the Raiderette.

10/03/17 1:04:40

Easy to help because he's a little light.

16/01/17 20:17:23

"That's not your butt!

28/12/16 21:17:26

"Hi I'm your new TOOTH fairy."

16/12/16 18:01:08

"I flossed just for you!"

16/12/16 17:19:12

"I better cover my legs-I smell French cooking."

12/11/16 16:51:21

"No one takes me seriously anymore."

11/11/16 20:14:36

Are those Testicles or is he selling cantaloupes?

10/11/16 5:23:07

The ad for the new drug said that side effects may differ in each case.

21/09/16 20:11:18