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Why dont we tell him to leave? He delivered the pizza twenty minutes ago.
Why dont we tell him to leave? He delivered the pizza twenty minutes ago. photo | portfolio
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Dave Bryan Vote score: 20743Dave Bryan

''Why don't we tell him to leave? He delivered the pizza twenty minutes ago.''

11/01/22 20:08:44

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 23094Stephen Bean

Confessions of a Captioneer's Wife
Book 1: The 8pm slot

11/01/22 20:00:10

 
James Lennox Vote score: 11236James Lennox

"So, Dave, our wives seem to be enjoying the switch, how are you enjoying your handjob?"

"Meh..."

11/01/22 20:09:10

 
Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 9667Hercules Rockefeller

Janice was more interested in cameltoe than mistletoe.

11/01/22 20:02:08

 
The Wolf Vote score: 16170The Wolf

"Dave, I didn't expect this at our swingers party, did you?"

"No Tom, I didn't. But keep sucking."

11/01/22 20:07:22

 2
Must have popped a Viagra in the meantime then --Mr Dome
C CaMel Vote score: 8768C CaMel

-In the car going home-
“Dave, next time we play charades maybe write down your 2nd favourite film.”

11/01/22 20:31:09

 
Tony S Vote score: 4863Tony S

Dave wanted a silent night so his wife went for a Carol service.

11/01/22 20:16:32

 
Mr Dome  Vote score: 13815Mr Dome

Me next, mum

11/01/22 21:02:59

 
Tony S Vote score: 4863Tony S

"Whats wrong with Dave?"
"I told him he can't keep it up any more ."
"Shall we help him take the tree down then?"

11/01/22 20:35:31

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 17579Vanessa the Guesser

Holly and Ivy - now they are both full grown

11/01/22 20:10:57

 
Al Overy Vote score: 11718Al Overy

Next on Panorama: Do crap beards repulse women and increase lesbianism?

"Hey, you two, can you believe this nonsense? I bet there's no evidence!"

11/01/22 20:01:15

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 6004Crunchy Chords

I might have misheard when my wife said she was inviting a fellow thespian for Christmas.

11/01/22 20:00:14

 
John  Glover Vote score: 22470John Glover

"Oh go on, give me a kiss Gwen. Daphne has lost all interest in me since she grew a beard."

12/01/22 2:30:52

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 4627Mark Wilson

"For the love of God will you two stop, it's a draylon sofa, fanny juice will stain it"

11/01/22 22:15:05

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 17579Vanessa the Guesser

Twelfth Night marks the coming of the Maggie.

11/01/22 20:03:08

 
Crunchy Chords Vote score: 6004Crunchy Chords

One hour into my wife's Threesome Weekend, I was done and starting to wonder if maybe this had been a bad idea...

11/01/22 20:02:00

 
Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 2478Karen Oakenfull

“Why does this always happen to me?” thought Kenneth miserably as ‘Caption.me.com’ decided to use him yet again, looking like the proverbial rejected moron.

12/01/22 5:15:12

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 7701Greg Curtis

[Shh...this is a subliminal message: get-a-life, get-a-life, get-a-life.]

12/01/22 4:11:02

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 13066Neil Mackenzie

His Wife and Sister were both on, but eating the kids selection boxes seemed to have stopped them complaining.

11/01/22 22:29:11

 
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 5095Scrijjy Doo

"Could you keep it down? I'm trying to watch Ellen."

11/01/22 22:27:36

 
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6537Tosser Wivlov

Don't turn and look, don't turn and look, hey, mirror, silver teapot, got them. Has she got three boobs?

11/01/22 22:17:43

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 28252Ian Skelding

Gooseberry Christmas

11/01/22 20:00:13

 
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