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ICU
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Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13037Vanessa the Guesser

ICU

25/07/20 12:02:49

 1
Icy too --Willie Johnson
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13037Vanessa the Guesser

She scrubs up well.

25/07/20 12:01:16

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9278Chris Keegan

Brothels open up again, but you'll need more than a condom.

25/07/20 13:33:54

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11713Stephen Bean

PeepPE

25/07/20 12:00:05

 
The Wolf Vote score: 7914The Wolf

The service at my local sperm donor clinic is bloody fantastic...

25/07/20 12:08:07

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11267Dave Bryan

''I've got some bad news for you, Mr Johnson.''

''You mean I'm cured.''

25/07/20 12:17:55

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22884Ian Skelding

"Just a little prick Mr Jones."
"Not anymore it isn't."

25/07/20 12:27:35

 
Paul Reeve Vote score: 5768Paul Reeve

“Nurse, I think you got the wrong end of the stick when I said the patients need transparency.”

25/07/20 14:30:46

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11267Dave Bryan

''I'm H.A.P.P.Y, I'm H.A.P.P.Y........''

25/07/20 12:10:06

 
The Wolf Vote score: 7914The Wolf

Dave was eager to participate in 'clap for carers', but he struggled to clap with one hand.

25/07/20 12:02:58

 
Rachel P Vote score: 2297Rachel P

Theater of Dreams

25/07/20 12:58:28

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4987Kenny Ireland

"I was sure he was dead".

25/07/20 12:53:15

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13037Vanessa the Guesser

50 Shades of Grey's Anatomy

25/07/20 12:08:54

 
The Wolf Vote score: 7914The Wolf

Thank you NHS

25/07/20 12:01:44

 
The Wolf Vote score: 7914The Wolf

"COVID19? No, I'm not bothered about that. But I have to shave that old man's balls before surgery and I'm not taking any chances"

25/07/20 12:01:19

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11267Dave Bryan

''I told you private health insurance was worth it.''

25/07/20 12:01:05

 
Willie Johnson Vote score: 1791Willie Johnson

"Sorry I'm late. I just got out of the shower."

25/07/20 16:08:46

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1311Al Overy

Dave wished he hadn't picked today to start cross dressing.

25/07/20 12:34:38

 
The Wolf Vote score: 7914The Wolf

"Grandad, I'm only going to ask one more time, where did you put the nurses clothes?"

25/07/20 12:11:31

 
alexandra ball Vote score: 681alexandra ball

Shameless!, Good job she's her face covered, that bra and those pants don't match,

25/07/20 12:02:35

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4987Kenny Ireland

The advantage of changing to uniforms from a alternative supplier were completely transparent.

26/07/20 11:33:04

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4458Stu Dent

A flash and the bedpan

25/07/20 12:53:55

 1
Flash and the Pan reference? I think I've got that on vinyl. --Willie Johnson
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11267Dave Bryan

Twisted Sister

25/07/20 12:49:00

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11267Dave Bryan

''I'm not on duty at the moment, Mr Jones. That's why I'm out of uniform.''

25/07/20 12:45:05

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1971Mark Wilson

A room with a view

25/07/20 12:43:34

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11267Dave Bryan

''My urinal bottle is full, nurse.''

''I'm not surprised. It's supposed to be for urine only.''

25/07/20 12:28:21

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6114James Lennox

Russia, where the medical care will probably kill you, but you'll go out smiling.

25/07/20 12:07:41

 
Al Overy Vote score: 1311Al Overy

"It's either your last speck of human decency, Mr Cummings, or a fly turd."

25/07/20 12:05:41

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32490Tony Edwards

"Ooh Matron!"

25/07/20 12:02:56

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11267Dave Bryan

Carry On Covid

25/07/20 12:02:28

 1
James Lennox Vote score: 6114James Lennox

"Your Covid-19 test is negative Mr. Epstein, for the 142nd time."

25/07/20 12:01:18

 
Molly R Vote score: 2045Molly R

"Before I give you your medication, I think we ought to check your blood pressure."

25/07/20 12:00:22

 
John  Glover Vote score: 20846John Glover

"It's your catheter Mr Granger, and no, an erection doesn't make it easier to fit."

25/07/20 13:10:33

 
Stu Dent Vote score: 4458Stu Dent

Two pensioners in local hospital have a stroke, But one unfortunate wasn't close enough

25/07/20 12:55:27

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1971Mark Wilson

"Nurse Grace, is this the week you should have been on holiday by any chance"

25/07/20 12:41:42

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32490Tony Edwards

The Covid virus is not the only one that seems to be 'doing the rounds' at the moment.

25/07/20 12:36:13

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32490Tony Edwards

Nurse Goodbody is well-known for her bedside manner.

25/07/20 12:29:37

 
Vivvy En Vote score: 6395Vivvy En

"Mr Jenkins, I have just the tonic for you"
"It's working already, Nurse"

25/07/20 12:22:02

 
Tony Edwards Vote score: 32490Tony Edwards

Things perk up on the Covid ward when one of the patients gets hold of a pair of X-ray specs.

25/07/20 12:16:36

 
James Lennox Vote score: 6114James Lennox

Looks like old Mr. Braun has been tampering with the X-Ray machine again.

25/07/20 12:13:07

 
Ben Harrison Ben Harrison

Peep-PE

17/08/20 18:25:19

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4987Kenny Ireland

The NHS showed their appriciation to Captain Tom Moore in their own way.

26/07/20 11:31:49

 
Greg Curtis Vote score: 6200Greg Curtis

"Why did Superman go to the hospital?..."

26/07/20 2:44:16

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1971Mark Wilson

Shag, marry, avoid cos she's infected

25/07/20 23:47:39

 
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 10988Neil Mackenzie

Covid19 new symptom X-ray vision, if you look at this fully clothed nurse but see her underwear book a test immediately.

25/07/20 19:50:39

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1971Mark Wilson

"Shhh...the PPE is disposable one use only, but we've told her its washable to boost
patient morale"

25/07/20 19:38:47

 
mike robb Vote score: 574mike robb

"Is this the patient who is complaining about cataracts?"

25/07/20 17:59:45

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4987Kenny Ireland

"His reactions are just fine. See if you can get someone to wipe that ceiling".

25/07/20 14:11:35

 
Glyn Evans Vote score: 6868Glyn Evans

"They say cutbacks won't affect the NHS, hmmm...now how long will it take to brush Mr Tomlinson's teeth with this?"

25/07/20 13:47:17

 
Chris Keegan Vote score: 9278Chris Keegan

Alex isn't with BUPA, he's hard up.

25/07/20 13:29:54

 
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 15283Dan Nicholls

I'm in A&E, turn round so I can see the R&S.

25/07/20 13:29:42

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4987Kenny Ireland

Outside the ward was an orderly queue.

25/07/20 12:55:04

 
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 4987Kenny Ireland

Health minister reveals possible cause of covid 19 hot spot.

25/07/20 12:51:24

 
Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 13037Vanessa the Guesser

Dr. Quim, Medicine Woman

25/07/20 12:29:10

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11713Stephen Bean

Dominic Cummings is admitted to a special clinic to test his eyesight.

25/07/20 12:25:26

 
The Wolf Vote score: 7914The Wolf

Bert had recently had a stroke.

25/07/20 12:22:55

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22884Ian Skelding

Goggle box

25/07/20 12:22:21

 
Dave Bryan Vote score: 11267Dave Bryan

''If you stand outside with me at 8.00pm, I'll give you the clap.''

25/07/20 12:21:34

 
Stephen Bean Vote score: 11713Stephen Bean

He also has a button that makes her come quickly.

25/07/20 12:19:15

 
Ian Skelding Vote score: 22884Ian Skelding

A lot of pain noises were heard from the Circumcision ward.

25/07/20 12:17:52

 
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1971Mark Wilson

"Mr Grimes is that a snake on your bed or are you just pleased to see me"

"No really in bed 1 the strippers dropped her snake"

25/07/20 12:14:04

 1
''It's a female adder. Could you viper?'' --Dave Bryan
Mark Wilson Vote score: 1971Mark Wilson

"Dr Woo-hoo Cumtodaddy I presume, my father talks about you a lot "

25/07/20 12:11:32

 
David Robb Vote score: 178David Robb

"I've seen your CT scan Mr Fairbanks and I'd stop doing that if I were you."

25/07/20 12:06:56

 
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